A Lot Like Love
by yvj
Summary: A casual connection between strangers grows into something more, but there's nothing better than love...to ruin a good friendship. KR AU
1. First Impressions

A/N Believe it or not for awhile I was on a mini hiatus. During this hiatus as I was going over one of my stories About a Ron I realized I had promised something in the first chapter that I was kind of failing to deliver. That truth is that story really took on a life of its own, one that is a bit different than its original blue prints

Rewriting that story now would be tragic, especially since I really like how it's turning out. So this story will be what About a Ron was supposed to be in its initial conception. Rest assured this is a really good thing for both fics. Now this piece of fanfiction is inspired by three movies, (If you haven't realized it by now I've only had two original ideas ever) One movie holds the same title. The other two are for you dear reader to try and figure out.

For this story I will also try my best to minimize the gut wrenching angst that underlines many of my other fics. But I can't do it on my own, if I dip to far into the angst well it's up to you guys to call me out on it.

The text in bold is a prologue of sorts that I thought would be sweet. Story is an AU

* * *

**_In an empty room a projector sits on a pedestal before a blank screen. The projector comes to life on its own. A grainy black and white film begins on the screen._**

**They say we're young and we don't know**

**We won't find out until we grow**

**Well I don't know if all that's true**

**'Cause you got me, and baby I got you**

**Babe**

**I got you babe**

**I got you babe**

_**On the screen we can see a six year old Ron Stoppable running in circles around a large kiddie pool. Inside of the pool is a young Kim Possible and she is shouting something at Ron. From the expression on her face she seems to be warning him about something. Ron slips on a muddy puddle and lands on his rear end. He cries, Kim climbs out of the pool and consoles him with a hug.**_

**They say our love won't pay the rent**

**Before it's earned, our money's all been spent**

**I guess that's so, we don't have a pot**

**But at least I'm sure of all the things we got**

**Babe**

**I got you babe**

**I got you babe**

_** Kim stands under a banner proclaiming her seventh birthday. She holds out shredded pieces of paper that have been glued together to form a pair of cheerleading pom poms. Gracefully she does a few kicks and a split. Ron comes on screen. They talk for awhile and Kim eventually hands an excited Ron the pom poms. He attempts a simple routine of his own but he is clumsy and uncoordinated and ends up falling hard on his rear end. Kim consoles him. Suddenly he jumps to his feet with a gleam in his eye, he hands back the pom poms and runs off screen. Kim shrugs in confusion, but then we see a smile form on her face as Ron returns holding a toy drum. He places the drum on the ground and begins to happily beat on it with his hands. Kim steps up to the camera and cheerfully continues her routine. **_

**I got flowers in the spring****  
**

**I got you to wear my ring**

**And when I'm sad, you're a clown**

**And if I get scared, you're always around**

_** Ron gleefully introduces Kim to a recently purchased Naked Mole Rat. Kim seems at first reluctant to touch the creature. A disappointed look comes to Ron's face. But as he is about to pocket the pink rodent Kim reaches over and gives it a few gentle pats on the head. Ron grins.  
**_

** Don't let them say your hair's too long**

**'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong**

** Then put your little hand in mine**

**There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb**

**_Ron and Kim show off their Halloween costumes. Ron is dressed like superman Kim as Wonder Woman. In a fit of spastic enthusiasm Ron gets his feet entangled in his cape and falls hard on his face. His nose starts to bleed and he cries. Kim consoles him by offering him some of her candy. He more than graciously accepts it. _**

**Babe**

**I got you babe**

**I got you babe**

_**The camera zooms in to a grumpy looking preteen Kim as she lies in bed, with a water bottle placed on her forehead. Ron sits in a chair beside her bed; a small bowl sitting on a silver tray rests on his lap. He dips a spoon into the bowl and offers Kim a mouthful of its contents. Kim shakes her head in refusal. Ron rolls his eyes and places the tray on her nightstand. Kim snatches the water bottle off her head and tosses it to the side. She argues something and with a hint of arrogance in her face she slides out of bed. Once on her feet she suddenly swoons but Ron is there to catch her. He slowly leans her back into bed and places a hand on he forehead. He then dramatically pulls it away as if he had just placed onto a burning skillet. Kim attempts to argue again but he calmly ignores her. He takes a spoonful of whatever is in the bowl and pats his stomach. Kim argues again. He offers her another taste but this time with a pouty look on his face. She angrily stares at the spoon for a moment or so but then finally takes it into her mouth. She grudgingly swallows before surprisingly licking her lips. Ron gives her a "thumbs up", she then unintentionally sneezes in his face. **_

**I got you to hold my hand**

**I got you to understand**

**I got you to walk with me**

**I got you to talk with me**

**I got you to kiss goodnight**

**I got you to hold me tight**

**I got you, I won't let go**

**I got you to love me so**

**_The junior prom; Ron and Kim gaze into each other's eyes. They are both prepared to take the next step. They close their eyes and lean forward both eagerly awaiting the soft touch of the other's lips.  
_**

**I got you babe**

**I got you babe**

**I got you babe**

**I got you babe**

**I got you babe**

_**Before their lips can touch the movie freezes. The projector begins to shake. Abruptly the reel on the projector snaps and falls to the floor. The screen is now blank.**_

"Who's there?"

Ron's eyes ran from one corner of the bathroom to the next.

"I know someone's there...I can hear you breathing dude.." He continued to scan the immediate area until he caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. Eventually it dawned on him that the gasp of breaths he was hearing were his own. It was his surprisingly heavy breathing that was echoing off the walls of the first floor boy's bathroom of Middleton elementary.

He shook his head and laughed at his own foolishness. There was nothing to be worried about because the hardest part was essentially over. She found out about the letter, so she knew about his feelings. Now all he had to do was see how she felt.

Cynthia and he were kind of like kindred spirits. It would be rare to find any other two people in the school who were less popular than they were. He of course had been judged and sentenced for the crime of well just being himself and Cynthia not only for being the new kid but also for being the daughter of the "crazy" lunch lady, the one who supposedly passed gas every time she handed out a fruit cup.

She was terrorized even worse than he was. There wasn't a day that went by where she wasn't hosed with water guns, or had trash tossed over the divider when she was using the bathroom, or faced whispers and snickers whenever she went up to solve a problem on the blackboard.

"Well it's their loss," he said to himself.

They were for the lack of a better cliché; two peas in pod, bosom buddies even. He told her about his family and Rufus, all his secrets, everything and anything he enjoyed. She got a crash introductory course to his "essential Ronness" and she in turn gladly reciprocated.

It was only a few days ago when he realized that maybe...just maybe….it was a crazy thought yes……but…..they could possibly make a good couple. He had no doubt that she'd be a great GF and he'd do his best to be a great BF.

Ok so they were only thirteen, but it wasn't like they were getting married. People dated when they were thirteen. Besides they were both pretty much outcasts... they needed each other. She needed him and he needed her.

So, why not?

He sighed as he looked himself over in the bathroom mirror...Why did he look so worried? ...Maybe it was the fact that last term was the first time he took a shot at going to a school dance; which lead to him being shot down by almost every girl he laid eyes on.

_Oh come on brain you're harshing my buzz._

Yes that was a rough by any standards...but Cynthia didn't move here until this term. She was different then the other girls. He and her, they had a connection.

And his mother was always saying how charming and handsome he was. What purpose would it serve for her to lie to him about that?

"No worries," he smiled.

Ron headed towards the exit and reached for the bathroom door. His hand practically slid off the door knob due to the moistness of his palm.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Okay," he said to no one. He stood before the double doors leading into the cafeteria. "She'll probably be in there." He wiped his damp palms on his pant legs.

"So I'll go in...I'll go up to her and say "Hey Cynthia"... no that seems a bit to forced..."Yo"...yea that's more natural."

"I'll go "YO."

"She'll smile and say "I got your letter."

"And I'll say "cool."

"Then she'll say "it was the most romantic thing I've ever read in my whole life, I'd love to be your GF."

"And then I'll go "sweet."

"Then we'll have lunch and plan out our futures together. Two hearts brought together by misery, beating together as one...forever eternal…or something romantic like that."

Burning with unprecedented vigor Ron pushed through the cafeteria doors and stepped inside. He immediately keyed in on Cynthia's location. She was sitting at a table at the far side of the room. She was laughing merrily; the sight of her being happy for some reason filled his chest with warmth.

As he made his way to her he couldn't help noticing that she was laughing pretty hard. And she wasn't the only one, every single person at her table were laughing at loud. One of the laughing parties was the infamous bully/jock Alan Barker. She was surrounded by people, popular people.

Ron continued inching towards them. He was beginning to pick up snippets of their conversation.

"And the letter says it's nice to find someone you click with" AS IF I had anything in common with him and listen to this "I promise to always have your back." Cynthia howled.

_Why does that sound familiar?_

Cynthia leaned over the table so everyone would be sure to hear. "Did you know that he's afraid of garden gnomes and robotic horses…..plus his best friend is a rat!"

O_k now I'm ninety five percent sure that they're talking about me_

Alan looked up to see Ron, standing there, frozen. "Look there he is, the Rat Whisperer!"

"Hey Stoppable do you want some milk for your rat girlfriend?"

"Actually he's a naked mole..." Before Ron could finish a carton of two percent milk struck him in the forehead, spraying its contents all over his face.

"...rat." He tasted the milk in his mouth as he wiped it off his face with his sleeve. At least now he knew for sure that he preferred the taste of whole milk over the two percent brand.

As if things weren't going well enough, Alan stood up and swiftly "depantsed" him revealing his brand new tighty whities.

_Note to self tell mom, I'm switching to boxers._

Of course the place erupted with laughter. An objective observer would have thought Ron was playing the straight man in some kind of vaudevillian comedy act. And he happened to be slaying the crowd with his whacky antics.

They laughed, they howled, they he-hawed, and they guffawed loudly and proudly. In all honesty, he was used to being the comedic foil to everyone else but for some reason Cynthia's laughter seemed to be the loudest. No it wasn't really the loudest; it was the only one he could hear.

He knew some of her secrets. The question was would he use it against her.

The answer he realized immediately was no...Did Cynthia know that before he did? Maybe...Should he be angry at her for what she did? Why should he, she had now moved up considerably in the food chain. It was survival of the fittest, and she was a better player at the game than he was.

Ron let out a breath, reached down and pulled up his pants. "Loser……..Ron Stoppable…. you are such a loser," he heard her mutter over the roar of the crowd as he nonchalantly made his way to the lunch line.

_I hope this doesn't somehow scar me emotionally for the rest of my life, _he thought as he waited in line for a Sahara dry yet kosher turkey sandwich.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Five year later:**

"Ron! What's the problem dude?"

Ron blinked in confusion as he drifted back to reality. "What is it about bad memories that they feel the need to pop in whenever they feel like it. Is it just so the universe can prove that you still haven't gotten over something?"

"Another Wannaweep flashback?"

"If it was one of those I'd be on the floor curled up in a ball, and weeping...no it was something else yet equally as terrifying."

"You want to talk about it?"

Ron narrowed his eyes and glared at Felix. "Not really"

Though he was curious about this new secret tale of horror, from past experiences with Ron Felix knew it was best not to press any further. There were just some things, a lot of things actually, that Ron wouldn't talk about at all. Felix once told Ron that he was analogous to a house with a solid steel screen door, you might be able to see the living room but you never really had full access to the house. Ron laughed and said that Felix was digging for something that was wasn't there, "I'm just a normal guy," he'd say with a shrug.

The two friends stood silently on the train platform momentarily lost in their own thoughts.

"Well, this is it," Felix said a minute later. "Ron Stoppable going off to college."

"City college," Ron reminded Felix as he shifted his large suitcase from one hand to the to other

"Okay, so it's not Upperton University. It's still cool."

Unlike some students, Ron wasn't going to college for purely academic reasons. True, he'd get a degree, but that was more to please his parents then for his own sense of achievement. College to him was a means to an end. Or specifically at this moment, as of right now, it was a means of escape.

A few years back, college didn't even occupy an inch of space in his mind. For awhile, he felt that he'd be content living in his parent's house until he was at least thirty. He had no qualms about living in the basement, mooching off his folks until things fell into place for him. Maybe he would win the lottery, marry rich or invent something cool…something would have happened eventually he imagined.

Moving out meant responsibilities, and having responsibilities meant he had to work, and going to work meant less time sleeping, watching wrestling, playing video games, enjoying life in general.

_Responsibilities had to be the ugliest word in the English language. _

He once thought. _  
_

But then right before his junior year it happened. It was a strange occurrence. He woke up one morning feeling that there was something missing and it bugged him. He was an incomplete puzzle missing a few key pieces he thought one morning during a poetry class that he was currently failing.

_There had to be something more for him out there_

With that in mind he realized that he wouldn't find the missing piece sitting at home in Middleton or isolated in some upstate campus;which he didn't have the grades for anyway; ...so the next best possible option was to apply to a school in the city.

Ron smiled. "It's really adult if you think about it. I'm leaving home, to live on my own. How am I even being allowed to do this?"

A part of him wanted his parents to be here, but he had insisted that they didn't come to the station with him. Especially his mother, the chances were good that even if she hinted at tearing up, he'd lose his resolve to leave, or at the very least he would embarrassingly weep like a toddler in her arms in front of everyone at the station.

No, the last thing he wanted was to leave Middleton with one more embarrassing memory under his belt. Lord only knows he had enough of those.

A sudden cool crisp late August breeze blew into the station. "I hope I find what I'm looking for," he muttered under his breath.

Felix, catching this utterance, found himself intrigued by this new revelation. "I didn't know you were looking for something?"

Ron shrugged; there was no harm in Felix hearing that. "I guess I am…..but I've got no idea what it is though."

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? ...Hmmm……I'm going to college right? I should want to learn about the world...read books as thick as cinder blocks...use words like angular momentum, secular parallax, and luminosity in every day sentences even if I no idea what they mean.. Learn another language, expose my mind to new things by visiting the museums and art galleries in the city...I should want to do all of that stuff"

"Well, whether you want it or not you'll get a chance to do all that stuff and more in the city. Maybe in the end you'll learn to love them and get something out of them."

"I guess I'd like to be a part of something, maybe find something to believe in, or have someone believe in me" He grinned. "Maybe all I want to do is make love to a beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated, intimating yet immensely compassionate woman with the lights on, on a foam mattress with modern jazz playing in the background."

Felix shook his head. "Shhhhh...nah, I don't see that happening."

"Really? Who knows, I might be able to pull it off."

"I doubt it."

"Seriously, you think I've got no chance? You know stranger things have happened..."

Felix chuckled. "Um yeah, I can't see it happening."

"Felix you're seriously underestimating my appeal."

"Dude, I think you've a better chance of helping save the world."

"Oh that's harsh," Ron exhaled, "Still, a man can dream right?"

"As we're on the topic of the opposite sex...why didn't you ever give Zita a call?"

Ron shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know dude."

"Come on, it took you three years to build the courage to ask her out."

"I don't...I'm not ready yet..."

"Then why did you ask her for her number?"

Ron slowly massaged the back of his neck. "I don't know...I wasn't in the right state of mind...I was so amped about graduating...I was high...high on finally having some success, people do crazy things when they're high!"

Felix clucked. "Excuses, excuses."

Ron put his hands up as if to surrender. "Fine mother…..I'll try."

"There is no try; there is only do or do not, young padawan."

"Okay, I'll seriously consider thinking about trying."

Felix groaned as he glanced at his watch. "Let me tell you something buddy; you need a gal. You can't keep spending your days and nights alone."

"But I'm not alone," Ron patted his right pants pocket, "I've got Rufus."

"Rufus huh? You do realize there are certain needs only a person of the female persuasion can satisfy."

Ron feigned surprise. "Oh you're talking about..."

"Right," Felix nodded, "I'm talking about that."

"I've lived without _that_ for about eighteen years Felix, what's a few more?"

"On that pathetic note," Felix said clearly exasperated. "Your train should be arriving in less than ten minutes."

Ron closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He managed to conjure up good memories of his family, his abandoned bedroom and the few good times he had in Middleton outside of spending many, many, afternoons at Bueno Nacho.

He was having the kind of moment where, if he smoked, he would smoke. Probably in some nonchalant yet reflective way like one of those tough, hard boiled cops you see in movies. The kind who knew they might not make it through the day, because savage eco terrorists who were ironically armed to the teeth with advanced weaponry had invaded the skyscraper his daughter worked in, and they were now taking hostages.

Yep, he might not make it out alive but he was the only chance those hostages had. It was his duty as an officer of the law to enforce it. But this time he wouldn't be going by the book, he'd be dong things his way. Sorry chief but this time it's personal

As Ron pretended to blow imaginary smoke rings out of his mouth the train roared into the station.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim brushed her windblown hair away from her eyes as she wandered onto the platform with Monique following closely behind her.

"This is it girl; you're leaving home and going off to college!"

Kim smiled. "Independent adulthood...it feels like real life is just beginning, you know?" This moment was more than not like a rite of passage for Kim. So much so that she insisted that her parents stayed home, it just made things feel more symbolic that way. It was a heartfelt and tearful moment she had shared with them only a few minutes ago. Even her brothers became a little emotional, even though they tried in vain to mask it. Yes, she'd miss them, but a new era in her life was now set to begin.

Upperton University wasn't _the_ very best college in the country. But it was one of the best and it was located conveniently close to her family but not too close that she couldn't spread her independent wings. Life in the big city would be a thrill, and it would expose her to thousands of engaging new things to experience. For the first time ever she truly felt that anything was actually possible.

"I'm so bummed I won't be able to join you in the city for another few months."

Kim waved her hand dismissively as if she wouldn't hear any more. "So not the drama Monique, you take as much time as you need to take care of your family problems."

Monique tugged playfully at Kim's sleeve. "I know that, I'm just concerned about you……what will you do without me?"

Kim scoffed. "I think I can handle living independently in the city Monique."

"Really, like the way you handled yourself when you came to my party wearing that beige midriff?"

"I thought it was cute."

"It was cute five years ago...and if it wasn't for me keeping you from wasting your days ducking into the ladies room at Club Banana to hide from Roger, he would never have noticed……... oh I'm sorry." She reached over and placed her arm on Kim's shoulder.

"No need to apologize Monique there aren't any bitter feelings between me and Roger. We just grew apart."

Which was technically the truth, she didn't really have any negative feelings towards Roger but the whole relationship had left her a bit bewildered. Roger was a coworker of Monique's at Club Banana, and after months of pleading, Kim had finally allowed Monique to play matchmaker. Though the relationship had started out golden, towards the end there things had grown cold…..Frosty actually…. She couldn't place her finger on it but from her junior year onwards Roger had been giving her strange vibes. They never fought but the tension was there. The air around them perpetually seemed like the calm before a storm. Eventually, Kim decided to call it off; it was more of a preemptive strike then anything else.

"Forget about Roger, now that you're going to Upperton U you'll meet up with cuter, smarter, and more sophisticated hotties than Roger."

"Monique, college isn't only about scoping out guys."

"Kim, scoping out any and all available hotties is a part of your core curriculum," she laughed.

Kim looked up and smiled brightly into the clear sky. "This is going be great. I'm going to go to debates, rallies, discover new exotic foods, learn a new language...maybe a dead language or two …and the city has so many great museums and galleries."

"It's great that you have your priorities straight girl, but you might want to add "have an active social life" to that list."

"There's no need to worry Monique, I'm sure I'll fine somebody eventually" she matter-of-factly "Everything will work out. And besides, in just a few months you'll be there to set me straight again."

"Kim Possible, single woman in the city….doesn't that scare you a little a bit Kim?"

Kim shook her head with defiance. "Please, check my name Monique. I'm Kim Possible, I can do anything, and taking care of me is no exception. If anyone can make it out there, I can."

The two friends continued to chat about the future as the train came roaring into the station.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_No no no no no ARRRRRRRRGGGHHHH _

In a fit of frustration Ron tore his face away from the screen of his handheld game player.

_Wait, I didn't just scream out loud did I?_

It wouldn't be the first time that an irrationally difficult game caused him to lose it in public. Like the infamous Denny's fiasco where after losing an infuriating round of Tetris he wailed like a banshee, which frightened his mother, who spilled hot coffee onto his father's lap, who as he fled screaming towards the bathroom knocked an old woman face first into a stack of buttered pancakes with a slice of cantaloupe on the side.

_Stupid L block, where were you when I needed you?_

Ah such precious memories. Was it a wonder why he wished his brain came with a delete button and a recycle bin?

Ron did a quick glance at the other passengers in the train to see if anyone was looking at him funny. Fortunately no one showed any signs acknowledging he did indeed exist in the same realm as them. They ignored him like everyone else did; until he did something stupid, then they'd all pounce of him like a bunch of jackals.

_Ok…… I think I've had my daily dose of negativity for one morning_

He pocketed his game player when he realized his eyes were starting to blur and tear up. Now firmly anchored into reality it didn't take much longer for him to notice his aching knees. It was a two hour drive from the burbs to his stop, and he spent at least forty of those minutes leaning against a pole, with his face glued to the screen of a video game.

Another quick scan resulted in him spotting an empty seat at the other end of the car. As he neared it he noticed that next to the empty seat sat a fairly attractive young girl. She wore black tights and a black denim shirt and black beret pushed to the left side of her head. Not exactly the girl next door type but still nonetheless easy on the eyes. Her face was planted firmly in a book entitled "Universal Physics and You".

"Mind if I sit here," he asked as if they were two moviegoers waiting for the show to begin.

She looked up at him and gave him a yeah-I-think-I-do-please-go-away-and-let-me finish-reading look, a quick tightening of the muscles in her face; that Ron interpreted as sure-go-ahead-and-sit-down, which is exactly what he does.

After two minutes or so of weighing the pros and cons, another minute of deep contemplation, and yet another thirty seconds of Felix's irritating but truthful comments coursing through his brain, Ron eventually turned towards her.

"Physics of the universe huh?" he said. "You know, I once read a book about antigravity….I couldn't put it down."

No response…….except for a small smirk from a red headed individual sitting in the seat across from him. She suppressed a smile as she attempted to concentrate solely on her new Club Banana catalogs.

_Ok maybe she didn't hear me._

He reached into his left pocket and pulled out a pack of gum. He took a stick out for himself when an ingenious plan began to form in the recess of his mind.

"Gum?" he offered.

She turned to him a bit annoyed. "You're too kind. But I think I'll pass though." Then she returned to her book.

_Okay good, I've got her attention…… sort of…._

"So," he said cheerfully, "where are you headed--"

His enthusiastic and brimming with faux self confidence pickup line was cut short when the girl suddenly rose from her seat with a sigh and briskly walked down to the other end of the car where a new empty seat had just become available.

Ron briskly chewed on his gum as his mind began to compute what just occurred. _Wow that was bru-----_

"That was brutal."

_Huh?_

He looked up and for the first time he noticed the girl sitting across from him. She tried to hide behind her catalog but he managed to catch her eye.

"Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to comment on your sitch," she said sheepishly. "I mean…I couldn't help but see that…you….know….what just happened."

Ron continued to chew away at his gum as his mind now attempted to this process this new piece of information. He looked to the left of him and to the right, everyone else (they were all, most likely cackling like hyenas in their minds, anticipating the first opportunity they got to tell friends and family about the loser who got shut down so harshly on the train today) was minding their own business.

Ron turned back to Kim; how sweet the pity in her eyes seemed generally sincere. "Don't worry about me, I'm kind of used to it……..Uh you might say I've grown immune to the pain of rejection, although I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a really sad thing."

"I think most normal people would see that as a sad thing," she said.

Ron nodded in agreement. "Right, so I guess that means I should too."

With that Kim returned to her magazine the conversation seemingly over. Ron stared at her for a moment than he shyly looked back down to the ground. She was a beautiful girl, like movie beautiful except in real live, warm, soft human flesh. He had been rejected by plenty of girls who couldn't even hold a candle to her.

"I kind of wish," he said a moment later surprising himself more than Kim, "that there was an easier way to get people's attention instead of talking to them…..You know, like if people could just spread out their colorful feathers like peacocks do."

"Well……try wearing a fur coat, that'll get people's attentions," she said humorously without looking away from the magazine.

"Yeah," he chortled, "I can see it now, me walking around wearing a lion's mane. I'm sure the pet-a people would love that."

She looked up to see if he was being serious. He was "Uh, I think it's pronounced PETA."

"PETA? Really? Are you sure? But you don't PETA an animal, you pet em."

She stared curiously at him for a moment. "That actually makes sense in a nonsensical weird way."

_Weird…..Crap did I say something stupid again….God Ron…..filter….filter……always remember to filter….think before you speak._

"So uh….do you mind if I chat you up then?"

She once again pulled herself from the magazine this time with her eyebrow cocked.

"As practice," Ron said quickly. "I think I might need some practice. I need to work on my dialog of course but I might have my facial expressions down pat. Like check this one out, I lean forward, as my hand rests on my lap, with my thumb and index finger covering over my mouth. I call this one the "listener."

He proceeded to show off his new pose. Instead of turning away with a look of disgust, she smirked again.

_Good enough, keep going, keep going, you're doing great._ "Wait, and here comes the clincher. I use the rest of my fingers to rub my chin sagely as I nod, like I'm really paying attention to what people have to say. What do you think?"

"This is all for practice right?" she asked, with more than a dash of sarcasm in her voice

"Yeah, of course," he continued to nod.

"Hmmmm, yeah, you can stop right now, any more will be a waste of time."

"Why?"

"Because you're not my type"

There it was, for the second time in a matter of minutes. But this one didn't seem to burn as much "Awwww, but I said this was just for practice," Ron said undeterred. "……fine no practice, but now I'm curious. If you don't mind me asking, what is your type?"

"I'm not telling you that, it's personal."

Ron nodded. "Right, personal, I understand…….you like the bad boys don't you?"

A faint hint of tinge appeared in her cheeks. "Sometimes," she admitted.

Ron sighed. "Yes, the ladies love a renegade……….I guess they haven't heard that the meek shall inherit the earth. Well I'm sorry ladies; I'm too old to change now…..You see this is what they should teach boys in kindergarten. They should sit them all down and say "listen here dudes, chicks dig the bad boys, so if you have any thoughts of being shy, sensitive and funny you should cut that out and start rebelling against society right n……" Ron cut himself off mid-rant. "I'm annoying you aren't I?"

"No actually this is the highlight of my day," she said.

"You're being sarcastic."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Okay cool, you're not being sarcastic and I'm not being annoying, it's all good then."

"Yep, it's all good."

He really had no idea why he was still talking to her. She had pretty much rejected him in a semi-subtle way. Which was fine, he'd given up on even thinking about picking her up like the last girl; well ok he was kind of sort of still thinking about it. But even though it was pretty obvious that there was no chance of this leading anywhere, he was still enjoying the conversation.

_Okay Ron, talk about something interesting….Bueno Nacho…no girls don't want to talk about fast food….That new Chanting Monks CD….no I'm the only who likes that stuff…..Rufus…no idiot… girls don't dig naked mole rats…..comics…too childish…videogames…nah….Think, think, something cool, popular and normal….T.V….maybe…it could work…..but what show…..Agony County…yea that's crazy popular….but how do I bring it up….crap now I need an initial conversation to segue into my main conversation……._

"Well so long."

_Huh?_

"This is my stop." She stood up as the train came to a complete stop.

"Hey," Ron called after her before she could make a step towards the door. "Uh….."

"Yes?"

He gulped. "Uh….um…." he let his eyes wander, "you dropped something." He pointed to her seat, or more specifically, to the leaflet of the train schedule that was lying crumpled there.

"Oh……that's not mine."

"Right, okay..." he said after a moment of awkward silence.

She nodded and smiled before walking out of the car. Ron watched as the doors slammed shut behind her. As the train slowly lurched forward, about a second before he lost sight of her, through the window, he caught a glimpse of her waving goodbye.

He started to wave back but it was too late, she was already out of his field of vision, probably gone from his life forever.

But at that moment a flurry of thoughts and questions were running through his mind. _Dude do you realize you just had a normal conversation with a girl who was totally out of your league!_

_"I know,"_ he answered himself.

_You minimized your stupidity and you didn't do anything to weird her out!_

_Totally man, I was in the….. Well I wasn't really in the zone, but I was near the zone, maybe in the same block as in the zone. At least in the same zip code!_

_If you can keep this going…wow….man maybe….hey maybe you should call Zita…you can do it. You don't want to end up like the guy in that song by that washed up singer……what was it called? It was by that Spanish guy…He was big back then_

_"Ricky Martin?"_

_"Yeah, that's his name, what was that song he had? The one about being a loser; the one that should be your theme song?"_

_Nobody wants to be lonely?_

_Yeah, that's the one. Why do you know all of his songs?"_

_Because I'm a loser._

_You weren't a few minutes ago…You were cool and normal…You were totally badical dude…..that was a bon-diggety good way to start a new life dontcha think?_

Ron grinned and said a barely audible "Booyah" that only he could hear.

* * *

A/N And they never saw each other again...The End...Not!

There you go folks my latest. If you haven't noticed this an AU so no world saving and no genius Rufus, deal with it. As always with 99 percent of my first chapters I've obviously left you with many questions. Yall probably want a peek into Kim's childhood since we've got a peek at Ron's. You'll get that soon enough...Anyway read and review, ask your questions, tell me what you think because it's been scientifically proven that feedback helps make the story better.

You don't like the story TOUGH I'm going to be working on this and Middlewood for awhile so get used to it


	2. When Ronnie met Kimmie pt 1

A/N Here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever known!!!!...Oh hey didn't see you there. Welcome back folks, got to thank you guys for the pretty good reception for the first chapter. Looks like I'm on a roll with the last few "initial" chapters of my stories. It's keeping you guys around that is my problem.

Again I pledge not to OD on the angst (although for the sake of plot development I had to dip into it a little)

So yea , again AU (no world saving yadda, yadda) Please enjoy

* * *

A crowd of five hundred or so students and their parents all had their eyes on the stage anxiously waiting for the schools award ceremony to finally get under way. Two girls took their seats in the front row "God I hate these school events" one of the young girls sighed "I mean I'm like going to be thirteen soon, I've got better things to do." 

'Totally" her friend replied.

"So who'd they get to sing the anthem this year?" the first girl asked.

"Kim" the second one said

The first girl scoffed "Oh god, hey don't you think…. Kim…well she's kind of prissy dontcha think?"

"Uh oh you're starting to sound a little like Bonnie."

"I know Bonnie isn't always right but she isn't always wrong either. Sometimes she makes a lot of sense."

"Keep your voice down, before someone here's you, especially one of the staff. You know how much they love Kim"

In the backstage area Kim peered through the curtains and glanced at the audience. She spotted two of her friends in the front row and waved at them, they caught sight of her and politely waved back. Kim pulled her head back behind the curtains and let out her breath. "Why am I here?" She asked herself.

A long story short, she was the head of the committee in charge of preparing the awards ceremony. A very distinguished honor, at least it was, until the rest of the committee decided she was the best candidate to sing the national anthem as the ceremony's opening.

_God why did I say yes...Well I couldn't really say no, could I…….Did you forget about the high note incident? No way I can't watch American Starmaker without cringing But…..Why am I talking to myself?_

"Welcome ladies and gentleman to….."

_Oh no that's the vice principal! What am I going to do….I am going to sing that's what I'm going to do….I'm going to sing my heart out, I can do this. Remember what dad said anything is possible for a Possible…..right?_

"On our featured honor students will begin tonight's festivities with the singing of the national…..

_I can't do this, I can do this, I can't, I can, I can't, I can!_ She peered back out to the crowd

"……introducing Kimberly Ann Possible"

Applause filled the air

_I can't! _

Kim was frozen; she couldn't even pull back behind the curtains. She stood there in wide eyed open mouth awe. As if she had seen something out there among the audience, something of pure horror that was beyond any rational understanding.

"Kimberly Ann Possible!" The Vice Principal repeated. Hearing her name again seemed to awaken Kim enough for her to finally retreat backstage.

"Excuse me" the perplexed VP told the audience when the applause once again faded. He then made his way backstage.

He found Kim there tugging lightly at her hair "Kimberly" he said

'What?"

"Are you ok?"

'I can't" she said.

'What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I can't" she repeated.

He sighed "ok, don't worry about it."

Kim's face relaxed as if she had just been granted a reprieve. Her hands dropped to her sides and she profusely apologized before quickly making for the backstage exit.

'I'm sorry to announce that Ms Possible seems to have fallen ill" was the last thing Kim heard before she was completely out of earshot of the ceremony and wandered into the parking lot.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A Few Years Later: (Two years after train ride)

"So were youse guys off too?"

Kim blinked, pulled herself away from the cab window and brought her attention to the cabbie "342 Address Lane" Kim said evenly before sitting back into the battered leather backseat. She turned smiled brightly at the other passenger in the cab. He was a tall and fit; blandly handsome young man with short neat hair wearing an official Upperton University sweater. A laptop on his lap his eyes were fixed to the screen as his fingers danced on the keyboard

"So Nicholas, what did you think of the first weekly group study at the Professor's house?"

"It was alright, I did manage to get some new ideas for the project" he said without looking up.

"Um yea" she cleared her throat "his…lecture on Tocqueville was quite enlightening. In describing eightieth century America, Tocqueville was right that the balance of property determined the balance of political power; but his somewhat racialist views can be seen as quite contemptible."

"True" he said with little to no enthusiasm.

Kim sighed and returned her gaze towards the window.

The cabbie sensing tension between the two reached for the radio "Maybes I shoulds play a little music for you'se all"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind…..

The familiar tune from the speaker perked Kim up immediately "I love this song." She began to slightly bop along to the melody. "I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined. I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned."

She hit Nicholas playfully on the shoulder "come on sing along with me…Feel the rain on your skin… No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in. No one else, no one else, can speak the words on your lips."

He finally lifted his head up "do you mind?" Then he leaned over to speak to the cab driver "can you lower that, I'm trying to do some very important work here."

Kim watched as Nicholas returned to his computer "look I was thinking that since its Friday we could do something fun tonight."

"Nah" he said flatly "We should get back to your place and finish up on this project. We've got a lot to get done tonight"

"That doesn't sound like much fun….we've got a weekend to finish let's go catch a movie or something."

"I'd rather not; this report takes priority" He chuckled "Now way in heck I'm going to face my dad with a 3.5 GPA. I'd be disowned"

"But…"

"Really if we don't get through this we'll be behind schedule. I'd like to get this done as quickly as possible, because I've got tennis practice tomorrow, and there's now way I'll be able to concentrate with a report like this looming in the back of mind. And when I screw up at practice that just deflates my whole week"

Undeterred Kim decided on a change of tactics "how about we go bowling?" Bowling was Nicholas's favorite hobby and although she wasn't too fond of the "sport" the prospect of returning home to do schoolwork, and following that up by watching late night television or reading old magazines did not appeal to her at the moment.

"No"

"What?"

"I don't want to" he said simply

"But you love bowling" If you ever spent more than ten minutes in the same room with Nicholas and he wasn't talking about the political state of the United States, he was talking about bowling. He was the captain of the school's bowling club for goodness sake.

"I don't bowl too much any more….I think I grew out of it."

This was certainly news to her "really……….." Should she ask? No she shouldn't it would be rude, it would most likely make things worse…….she should ask

"Is this….is this because I beat you that one time in front of your fri…"

"What…No" he said with the quickness of a Black Mamba "Don't be ridiculous, I don't care about that….That didn't bother me in the least…..Please….." he scoffed "no can you just be quiet and let me concentrate"

_Be quiet? Excuse Me!_

She combed her fingers through her red hair "You don't have to be snippy about it"

"What?"

"I don't appreciate this snippy attitude of yours"

"I don't have an attitude"

"Yes you do" she countered "and it's snippy "

"What in the world does snippy mean anyway?"

"It means you're acting like a big jerk! And you've been acting like one for quite some time now!"

"Maybe the problem is…..that someone is a little too hot headed. Maybe someone should give that some thought!"

"Maybe someone wouldn't lose their temper if someone else wasn't acting so snippy.

Nicholas let out and exasperated sigh "you know I don't think this is going to work"

"Come again" Kim said frowning at this point.

"This" he made a motion of his hand going back and forth between him and Kim "is not going to work."

She stared at him bewildered.

"Look how do I say this uh we just don't….I don't know…um really mesh" The well of Nicholas' usually robust vocabulary had suddenly gone dry "Hey we both knew from the beginning that this wasn't going to be a permanent thing"

"_We _did?" Kim said incredulously. They had been going out for just a little over four months.

"I'm sorry….but I never made any promises, I was very, very clear about how I've felt so far."

"Uh-huh" she paused to let everything sink in "stop the cab!" she told the driver

"Cans do" he said

"What are you….oh come on you're not going to walk out are you?"

"I'm not going anywhere, you're getting out" she said as the cab pulled over.

"I'm paying for half this ride too you know…..and besides we're like forty minutes from…."

"Get out" she said.

"Are you crazy?" Nicholas asked "I'm not going anywhere"

"I'ds do what she sez mister, she looks like the jaw breaking type" the driver quipped "juss like my wife"

Nicholas looked from the grinning cabbie back to Kim's livid face "I can't believe it; deep down I always knew you had major, major issues." He popped the passenger door open "you know what, you've really got some nerve….who do you think you are?" He was going to continue but he caught sight of the fire burning in her green eyes. "Fine I'm leaving but just remember we're through!" he said with all the fervor he could muster before sliding out of the door and slamming it shut behind him.

With him gone Kim released her breath.

"Youse a real firecracker ain't ya cupcake"

"Don't call me cupcake"

"Yes ma'am so wheres to now same place?"

"No just drive around a little I don't want to go home yet" she said staring up at the ceiling. Her hair sprawled all over the backseat.

"Alright but the meter's running"

"I don't care" she said "just drive"

Silently she watched the lights of the city zip by the window as she recapped what just happened in her mind

"Who do I think I am? I'm Kimberly Ann Possible that's who I am."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_**We're a movin' on up, (We're a movin on up.) To the east side (Mo-vin on up.) To a de-luxe apartment, In the sky-.Mo-vin' on up (Mo-vin on up.) To the east side, (Mo-vin on up.) We finally got a piece of the pie.**  
_

"Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven, fifty-eight, ugh, fifty-nine, sixty, wheeze, sixty-one, sixty-two, lord why have you forsaken me, sixty-three, sixty-four, god I can't even tell what's hurting any more, sixty-five, seventy, seventy five, eighty, ninety, one hundred….oh…thank…the heavens….it's over"

On the floor beside his bed, Ron's limp and exhausted body was illuminated by the glow of the television though the rest of his bedroom was cast in darkness. The only movement in the room was the rapid rising and falling of his chest and the occasional blinking of his brown eyes.

"Lord why is self improvement so hard" he huffed. "What's the point of doing sit-ups everyday………so I can…..just die healthier?"

Ron reached under his bed and pulled out a box. He pulled out a handful of the cheesy crackers, placed some in his mouth and the rest on a paper towel, next to his head.

**_Fish don't fry in the kitchen; and beans don't burn on the grill, took a whole lot of trying. Just to get up that hill, now we're up in the big leagues._**

Moments later Rufus scrambled from under the bed, up his body across his arm and dashed right to the snacks. Ron watched as the adorable pink creature feasted on the crackers.

Rufus was the oldest friend he had. Rufus had been with him through all the good times, the bad times, more bad times, and the ok times when nothing bad happened but nothing good happened either. Rufus was the only one who knew all his secrets which was great because since he didn't know how to talk, he wouldn't be spilling the beans.

_**Gettin our turn at bat, as long as we live, it's you and me baby. There ain't nothing wrong with that.**  
_

Ron petted the mole rat as it continued to feast. "It's you and me buddy" Rufus and Ron friends till the end, loyal to each other no matter what. Me and Rufus the Dynamic Duo, The Untouchables, The World's Greatest Tag Team……..The….the….."

Rufus curiously looked up from his snack as if he sensed Ron's hesitation.

"The…." He sighed "I'm sorry little buddy no offence but you're not human." Ron continued to pet his friend "I mean you're cool for a non-human and all but sometimes a guy needs a little more you understand."

"_**Florence if I paid you to think, you could cash your check at the penny arcade."  
**_

"_**Why Mr. Jefferson, where do you think I cash it now?"**_

Ron laughed, the magic of television once again giving him an opportunity to ignore any and all personal problems he was currently having. Who needed therapy when there were old sitcoms to watch?

"Oh that Florence is one sassy maid" he squinted "and I don't know if it's the desperation talking but she's more than a little easy on the eyes"

The door to his room abruptly flew open and a loud knock dispelled the relative quiet of the room "Yo Ronnie"

"Don't you ever knock?" Ron sighed.

"I did knock"

"No you barged in and then you knocked" Ron told his roommate "In any civilized society on this planet that is not considered knocking."

"Well if you're going to be so grumpy, I won't sing you the song I wrote."

Ron kept his eyes on the television screen "Good because I don't want to hear it"

"But it was inspired by you, you were my muse."

"You're not going to leave until I hear it huh?"

"Nope"

"Alright go ahead" his roommate removed a piece of paper from his back pocket and cleared his throat. _"Rufus, the two of us need look no more….We both found what we were looking for. With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone and you, my friend, will see, you've got a friend in me_.

"Ok please, no mas, that's all I'm asking from you...no mas" Ron groaned

His roommate bowed to no applause "that song was based on a true story."

"So Jake, how long did it take you to conjure up that nugget up?"

"Oh this little diddy, well actually I wrote it up sometime in the last forty hours. You know the same forty eight hours you've spent in this room, in the dark, making out with your rodent friend."

Ron's eyes went wide. Forty eight hours had passed already! "I missed a lot of classes" he said.

"Yea your rock solid 2.2 GPA is in serious jeopardy." Jake let his eyes wander around the room "so what's going on man, what happened to the cheerful, happy go lucky Ron I used to know and love."

Ron glared at him.

"Ok what happened to the mildly content, yet cynical Ron I've grown to pity."

"He's gone; heart failure. Didn't you see it? It was on the news, police found him dead on top of a pile of super models lying on a bed made of hundred dollar bills"

"Sweet" Jake said before taking a deep breath "by the way what happened to the spicy Zita, I haven't seen her for awhile. She used to be around like every other weekend."

"She's been busy"

"Oh ok. But I've noticed she doesn't call as much either. She used to call like what every other day, something like that."

Ron's eyes shot darts at his roommate "If you must know we're going through a bad patch right now"

"A bad patch you say"

"Yea a bad patch I say"

"So uh" Jake said rubbing his hands together "if you don't mind me asking when was the last time uh, you two got together?"

Ron sat up "I do mind and a relationship isn't based only on "getting together"

"Of course you're absolutely right; I don't know what I was thinking. I must have been out of my mind asking yo…she's left you hasn't she?" Jake said solemnly.

Ron plopped himself onto his bed "yes my friend she has. The "Rita" Era has come to an abrupt end"

"What happened?"

"She said I was with her but I wasn't with her"

Jake looked confused "how is that even possible, how can you be with her and not with her at the same time?"

Ron sighed "Jake she meant that I'm emotionally unavailable or something like that….I think……I looked it up on the internet….Dr wasn't stupid; he earned some of the top grades in his business courses. The problem was that he, like Ron and most other men, was ignorant in the ways of women and relationships, but you couldn't tell that just by looking at him or talking to him.

Jake like any good businessperson mastered the art of the bluff. He looked the look and he talked the talk. But the reality of the situation was that Jake used to be a huge loser before he came to college. Jake Mancini or Jake the stuttering, muttering prick as he was called by his "friends" back home; was a poor yet somehow chubby kid with a speech impediment. From middle school to high school he was terrorized by the neighborhood kids. He was shunned by pretty girls and the ugly ones just wanted to be his friend.

But Jake was ambitious, not just in business but in his personal life as well. After graduation frustrated with his life he went on diet and exercise regiment that would have made marines cry. He worked three jobs so he could buy expensive skin creams for his acne problem and special goops for his hair. He took speech classes to finally do away with his stuttering, and in just one summer he lost thirty pounds, grew three inches and stepped onto campus as the most eligible male hottie in the school.

Over the Christmas holiday Jake returned home for the first time since leaving for college. Back in his home town he broke hearts and noses, and he returned with the largest grin Ron had ever seen on a man's face. Jake was the best-looking, cleverest, most ambitious guy Ron had ever met. He was someone to be admired by losers around the world. Of course he would never tell Jake that because well….it would be weird and a bit creepy, and they weren't really friends per se as they were roommates who got along ok on some vague level.

"Emotionally not there" Jake nodded "that makes some amount of sense"

"It does?" Ron said skeptically

"…well you know, sometimes"

"I don't want to talk about it" Ron replied as he placed Rufus back in his cage.

"Ok so you got cut loose. That's no reason to be depressed."

Ron rolled his eyes "Who said I was depressed?"

"You were totally depressed"

"Actually I don't think I was"

"Then what do you call what you've been going through for the past two days!"

"It wasn't depression" he paused for effect "it was anger without enthusiasm"

"Ah of course"

"Now if you'll excuse me I just want to get something to eat.'"

"That reminds me" Jake said cutting Ron off from the path to the kitchen "I ate those grilled chicken fajitas you made a couple days ago."

"All of them?"

"Yeah they were delicious"

"You know if you keep pigging out like that, you're going to get bloated again"

"Not really those fajitas were low in fat and in sodium, yet high in deliciousness"

"Really" Ron said surprised.

Jake laughed "you made them and you don't even know their nutritional value"

"I got the recipe in some magazine at the dentist's office"

"Jugs?"

"No" Ron grinned "that's your literary source of choice….." he snatched his jacket from a coat rack, slipped it on and headed for the door of the apartment "now I've got to go out and get something to eat"

"Dude again those fajitas were fantastic"

"Thanks for not rubbing it in"

"No I mean it was some of the best stuff I've ever tasted in my life. You should really think about my idea too…."

"No" Ron waved his hands dismissively "your idea stinks on ice and it would never work"

"Come on, you and me buddy, we could finally show them what we're made of"

"Who's them?" Ron asked curiously

"Them" Jake pointed towards the door melodramatically "those guys out there. Everyone who's ever thought we wouldn't amount to anything in life."

"Jake chilax you've already done that….me I don't really care what they or "them" do or don't do, and none of them care what I do or don't do, and you know what, that's all right with me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was a nice night, the moon was full, the air was crisp, and the two stars you could see through the city's pollution were shining. Traffic sped by as Ron stood motionless on the sidewalk eyeing a filthy looking phone booth. He was on his way to Bueno Nacho when he realized maybe he should give Zita a call, maybe it was still possible to work things out….maybe…..

Ok he and Zita weren't the happiest couple but like all relationships it had its perks. Like "getting together" for example, "getting together" was nice. Especially when she called him Papi…...or when she called out his new favorite phrase of all time, since they started dating "Aye Papi!"

As far as perks go that always put a smile on his face. And then there was the companionship, he did actually enjoy her company. Well it was better than nothing. If he knew anything for sure it was that "nothing" was much, much worse, than "better than nothing." All this led back to his occasional bouts with……

Loneliness issues

It wasn't like he was some friendless miser; wait you needed money to be a miser. It wasn't like he was some friendless hermit. He had Rufus and Jake when he wasn't with some girl; he kept in touch with Felix sometimes. And his mother annoyingly called like almost everyday. Yes he had an acceptable amount of human interactions for a normal human being….yet sometimes…most times he just……

Needed somebody

_Ugh that sounded so sad _

And Zita was the closest thing to "somebody" he had right now. He couldn't let the longest relationship he ever had with a woman other than his mother just go poof.

Ron entered the phone booth, picked up the phone and dialed. It rang for an eternity or about a minute and a half before she picked up. "Hello"

_Sound causal_

"Hola Zita mi mamacita, Que Pasa?"

He heard a sigh "Ronald is that you?"

"Yea, yea it's me"

"What do you want?"

"Well…I was on my way to Bueno Nacho and I passed by this car wash, where I saw this homeless guy dancing and muttering to himself and it just got me thinking "hey me and Zita should get back together"

Another sigh

"Zita we had a good time together right?"

"Si we did"

"So why not keep the hot streak going you know? Go for broke?"

"You know what they say Ronald. Sometimes you've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them----

"Know when to walk away, know when to run" Ron interrupted "Hey look Z we're finishing each other's sentences. I think we should get back together."

"That's not possible, I already told you Ron I care about you but our relationship is kaput. It has reached the point where it can no longer grow."

"Yes it can, I know it can, we can make it grow….together" he said in his sweetest, lovey-dovey voice.

"Nada it cannot grow if you are not willing to let me in."

"Ha, Ha what are you talking about sweetie?" he said with a forced chuckle "you're in; you've always been in, heck you're number two on my speed dial."

"That's not enough."

Ron shifted the phone to his right shoulder "You want to be number one, my mom will be a little miffed but I think I can….."

"Ron I did not find out about Rufus until seven months into our relationship"

"Oh so what," he's just a goofy (_sorry buddy)_ pet my parents gave me."

"No he's not you brought him and you love him like a brother. You see this is what I'm talking about I had to learn that from your parents."

"What? I should have mentioned him on the first date; it would have freaked you out."

"Seven months Ronald, seven months, that's how long it took me to find out about him. I asked you so many times to open up and tell me your ambitions and dreams."

"I don't have any ambitions and dreams, you know that! Just ask my folks, they seem to love telling you stuff about me! They'll tell you how unmotivated and lazy I am"

"There are a lot of things I don't know about you. The truth is I never got further than I did on our third date."

Ron took a deep breath 'Is this because I left the toilet seat up that one time. It's not my fault, I'll never understand why woman think they can use the bathroom in the dark."

"Let's be honest Ronald you were never fully comfortable around me. It was like you were always on guard, watching yourself in case you slip. Do you know how hard it is to be involved with someone like that?"

"Come on" he said softly "you are exaggerating"

"Am I? You remember last winter when I thought you were cheating on me and it turns out you were sneaking off to go to J. P. Bearymore's Pizza Party-torium."

"Would you rather I had been cheating on you?"

"That's not the point, the point is when you went there you turned your phone off, and you quickly switched your clothes and took a bath when you got back home, to hide the smell of pizza and cotton candy on your body. What was I supposed to think? You were either cheating on me or you were doing spy work for the C.I.A….Why didn't you just tell me you liked going there?"

Ron bit his bottom lip "look I can have some personal time to myself right"

"Did you not here what I said I thought you were cheating on me! It was obviously you're favorite place besides Bueno Nacho…why didn't you just tell me about it?

"Look…."

"Why?"

'Come on Zita?" he said "Be serious what kind of girl is going to like a twenty year old supposed "man" who still likes playing pinball, and watching muppets dance at a kids restaurant. If I was a girl I wouldn't like me!"

Zita sighed "so you were afraid I wouldn't respect you"

"Oh please if I was afraid of that we wouldn't have gone out for so long….look Zita…._think of something man before she gets impatient, something that'll turn this all around something she can't find fault it_…….Zita…I…I love you"

Awkward silence

"Hello!" he shouted into the phone "did you not hear me I said I love you!"

"I heard you, I wish it was true but it isn't."

_What?_ "What do you mean it's not true, how do you know? Isn't me saying it enough"

"You don't know what love is"

"How can you say I don't know what love is, I know what is and it's what I got, that's why I'm saying it to you right now. Because I know what I feel and what I'm feeling is love, a love I hope will not be unrequited but very much requited."

Silence

"Ron you can't know what love is, because there are things you haven't figured out about yourself, I'll say it again I care about you, I really do but it's over."

"But"

Dial tone

Ron stared down at the phone as if it had just sprouted from his hand.

"Ouch"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was over….kaput…..

_How did "I love you" not work? It always works in the movies_

He had been rejected before but never after professing his love….this…this was a new type of pain all together. It was like something he had never felt before it was

The ultimate rejection. It hurt like hell.

_The least she could have done was to say "Aye Papi" one last time." _

"Hey are you going to drink something?"

Ron blinked at the bartender "Uh can have a coke?"

"Jack and coke coming right up"

'No wait, just a regular a coke…..I don't drink" Ron received a dirty look.

"You don't drink? Then what the hell are you doing here?"

Ron looked over his shoulders. The bar was a dank place, every corner of the establishment seemed to be shrouded in darkness. The zombie like bar patrons shuffled slowly from the bathroom to their seats, a glass in hand they were more than extra careful in making sure they didn't spill a drop of their precious liquid

"Uh I just broke up with my girlfriend and being the loser that I am, I just thought this was the perfect place for me." He opened his arms wide "these are my people"

"Yeah this place is for losers alright, losers who drink…I'll be back in ten minutes if you're still here I'm throwing you out head first."

_Friendly chap _Ron begrudgingly slid off the bar stool "I'm not even welcome in a dive bar" On his way towards the exit he glimpsed up at the lone T.V hanging from the ceiling. A talk show host was introducing a celebrity.

"She was the teen queen of pop, but now she's grown and matured through the trials of tribulations of adulthood. Her new single "Pass the valium on the left hand side" is currently at the top of the charts. Her new album "I'm bald, but I'm not crazy" will hit the stands in just a few weeks….ladies and gentleman Britinia."

The reaction she got from the crowd when she stepped out was tremendous. Ron felt instantaneous envy. Being a celebratory had to be great, you weren't weird you were eccentric; people loved and respected you for no real reason, besides the fact that you were famous. They just felt obligated to adore you.

_Like that song says when everybody loves you. That's the funkiest you can be……Optimism Ronald, optimism! The sun will come out tomorrow! _

He told himself as he walked out of the bar into the windy streets. _Who needs chicks anyway they're yucky and they have cooties…..and if things get desperate severely lower your standards._

Heh, He was cool on his own; a swinging bachelor in the big city. "The only three people I need are me, myself, and I. You won't break me universe, you can't keep the Ron man down! Because…..because I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I'll live as I believe, no matter what they take from me. They can't….take….away…. my….dignity! Because I found the greatest love of all, inside of m----"

Ron stopped when he suddenly smacked right into a wall.

No it wasn't a wall, it was someone's chest. He stepped back to come face to face with a hulking brute of a man in a long leather jacket.

"Gimmie ya wallet"

"Oh geez" Ron ran his hands across his face

Universe 3 Gazillion; Ron zero

"I said gimmie all ya money"

Ron's face went blank. He stared past the mugger, his gaze caught on something behind him "Oh my god" he said with a look of unrestrained terror written on his face "No not you, not again" he cried softly.

The mugger spun around quickly "What? Who's there?" It didn't take him long to realize that there was nothing behind except an empty trash receptacle.

"I ain't seen nothing" he turned back to Ron who was currently sprinting down the block.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The cabbie glanced over his shoulder to take a peak at Kim. "See, the thing about youse kids these days is that you don't knows nothing about relationships. All you dos is jumps right into the sack."

Kim felt like her brain was hemorrhaging.

"You knows how long me and old lady been together?"

Kim groaned.

"Thirty three years…..and you knows why….Because of understanding. Youse can't have love without understanding."

Kim tried her hardest to ignore the cabdriver as she rubbed down her throbbing forehead. An almost four month old relationship, blown up in just a matter of seconds, how was that even possible?

A part of her wanted Nicholas to come back and apologize, then she would apologize and things would go on like nothing ever happened. The other part of her wanted to punch his face in for being an insensitive, idiotic, weasel-faced jerk.

She sighed; she could see the rest of the weekend clearly. She would go home and maybe take a long bath. Then she'd lie in bed for the whole weekend, snuggling up to her panderoo, watching Agony County reruns, or reading her course requirements.

But by Monday morning she'd be fine, ready to tackle a new school week. She didn't need Nicholas, or a boyfriend of any kind for that matter. Hell, she really didn't need anyone; if push came to shove she could make it in the city alone. She was Kim Possible; she could make it anywhere, with or without anyone's help.

_Ok Kim get a grip, so not the drama. I'm not alone. I have Monique and other friends…well most of them are more like acquaintances really. And my family is only a few hours away….See things really aren't that bad._

"…Everything will turns out for the best trusts me. You'll find someone special to yas," the cabdriver continued. "cuz like my ma says…..you can't hurry love. No, you'll just have to wait…..She says love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take. Youse can't hurry love….." he sang.

"Oh my god," Kim moaned.

The cabdriver's fingers tapped festively on the steering wheel. "My mama said….Youse can't hurry love, no, you'll just have to wait. She says love don't come easy!"

"You know," Kim leaned in toward the front seat to glance at the meter, "maybe it would be best….LOOK OUT!"

She screamed out when she caught the glimpse of a figure enshrouded in darkness jumping into the middle of the street before them.

"Wha..." The cabbie slammed on the breaks, forcing the vehicle to come to a screeching halt; miraculously just a few inches from the young man in the street.

Inside the cab, no one spoke as Kim and the cabbie caught their breaths. Outside, the blonde was frozen in horror, a proverbial deer in the headlights.

Through the windshield, hazel locked onto to emerald

"That was close," Kim huffed, her eyes still linked to the stranger's.

The cabbie placed his head out of the drivers side window. "What's the matter with youse, are you some kind of nut?"

The verbal assault seemed to awaken the young blond. Kim saw a look of relief wash over the stranger's face; he then turned away from the cab and looked off to his left. She saw the look of relief immediately turn into one of terror and the blond abruptly sprinted towards the right. Seconds later, a burly man jetted past the cab in the same direction.

"Crazy nut, the city's full of em!"

Kim ignored the cabbie's complaining, alarms were going off in her head. She had caught a glimpse of the second man's face and he didn't look happy.

* * *

A/N So there you go hope I didn't turn you off...I can hear you thinking now...Ron wouldn't throw around the L word like that, how could he do that Zita...etc...There are reasons, excuses, explanations and resolutions...in the rest of the story so stay tuned. The next chapter will be out fairly soon I'd expect. 

Actually what I want to hear about is Kim...I'm not worried Ron, but Kim is a litter harder to get a a handle on so I'd like some feedback on her. And I hope the time skip didn't bother you guys much it was necessary for story line purposes

Jake is actually a recycled character (for those of you who've read Sliding Doors) but I like writing for characters like him

So there we go read, review I'll respond eventually. Just don't forget to tell me how much you love me and my stories and I'm the greatest. You know something honest like that


	3. When Ronnie met Kimmie pt 2

A/V First of all I'd like to thank all of my repeat customers. Now some of you doubters are hell bent on thinking I'm going to angst this up but you're wrong (granted there will be some degrees of angst) This is a legitimate romantic comedy

Let's look at the Romantic Comedy check list

Boy And Girl Are Very Different. Whatever boy is, girl is very different or just plain the opposite. The more ridiculous the contrast, the more we doubt that boy and girl could ever be a couple. (You've Got Mail, 50 First Dates, Just Like Heaven)_ CHECK_

Boy Meets Girl In An Unusual Way. Their first meeting should be realistic but memorable. _(Notting Hill, Ground Hog Day, While You Were Sleeping)_ CHECK

Quirky Friends: Quirky friends are a must, for comic relief, and snide advice. _(Notting Hill, Say Anything, Mannequin)_ CHECK

You see there's a formula for these things. And so far I'm on the right track. There will be more checks as the list is being completed.

* * *

Ron whirled around to see his wild eyed would be assailant barreling down on him. 

_Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap._

He willed his legs to move faster, but they were starting to ache, His chest was beginning to tighten, his lungs were on the verge of imploding and then subsequently exploding.

What a great time to finally notice that he was out of shape.

_Oh man I've got to lose this guy...I'm coming to an intersection, should I cut to the left or the right, the left or the right, left or right, left or right, left or right_.

He decided to run to the left, he turned a dark corner and smacked right into a filthy dumpster. He bounced off the dumpster onto the ground; the collision knocking the wind from his body. Groaning loudly he climbed to his feet when he heard someone creeping up on him.

"Hey come on" Ron wheezed as he held his side "let's not do anything rash." The mugger was built like a tank worse of all he had a crazy look in his eyes, and on his face. There was no way in a million years he would be able be able to take him.

The mugger grunted as his face twitched "I hate running" he rasped before abruptly and angrily striking himself on the base of the chin, forcefully stopping his none too smooth face from its frantic twitching.

"Ok" Ron huffed "I see the medication fairy has been using her sick days…" he paused when he heard the click of a switchblade being fully extended. Ron stared at the weapon in the mugger's hand "hey come on man….you don't want to kill me…if you do that…heh….then the terrorists win."

The mugger grinned as he closed the gap between them.

_Just when I thought things couldn't get worse I'm going to get stabbed. Out of millions of sperm cells, I was chosen, only to end up here, seconds from bleeding to death, besides a urine stained dumpster….."And I say to myself what a wonderful world."_

"Fine I don't care, just get it over with!" Ron shouted.

The mugger was momentarily stunned by Ron's outburst.

_It worked he's confused_

"Come on I don't care anymore, just do it. You'll be doing me a favor……come on I dare ya! I double dare ya!"

"Um is there a problem here?"

Ron and the mugger's head snapped towards the voice. They saw Kim step out of the shadows into the light.

A stab of fear lanced through Kim's body when she saw the switchblade, but she quickly managed to squelch the urge to run.

Ron sighed in relief "Oh thank god….lady quick, go call the cops—

Kim gulped "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" She told the mugger _Oh my god could I have said anything more clichéd? Wait what am I thinking? I'm in a completely dangerous situation here!_

Both Ron and the mugger looked at her as if she had just fallen from the sky.

"What are you crazy?" Ron cried "go call the cops, the National Guard, something!"

"What did you say?" The mugger growled at Kim.

"You heard me the first time" She stammered "I think it'd be best if you leave"

"Are you making funny of me?" The mugger asked as he turned away from Ron

"No she's not, that was a joke" Ron laughed "she was joking, she wants to be friends, right lady?" Ron made frantic hand motions to wave Kim away.

Kim acknowledged Ron's warming with a simple nod "You should leave now if you don't want any trouble……."

_Oh my god this girl is a lunatic. She's going to get herself killed!_

"I just got out of a cab and…..the cab driver is still waiting….and if something happens …..He'll do something….because he's a marine."

Confusion reigned on the mugger's face. He couldn't understand this woman before him who was threatening him with "trouble" "are you a cop?"

Ron waved his hands back and forth to regain the mugger's attention "No she's not a cop, she's too hot to be a cop. Cops are all fat and ugly" he said to no avail.

"I hate cops!" Johnny growled in Kim's direction.

"So do I, and so does the nice lady…you hate cops right nice lady?"

Kim's mind was currently reeling, as an unprecedented amount of adrenaline pumped through her body. _Ok, ok remember the self defense lessons. You don't need to be Bruce Lee to defend yourself. At close range the right way to go is to deflect his hand holding the knife to the side using my open hand against the back of his hand. Then I can punch the back of his hand so the knife is thrown to the side. Or I can trip him up and apply some leverage to his wrist when he is on the ground. That should work right? Yea it'll work…I hope._

"Johnny hates cops!"

Ron could see the anger building in the crazed maniac. He was reaching his boiling point "Johnny? Is that your name…Johnny don't do anything crazy John-John, you don't want to go to jail you're too pretty!"

Steam seemed to be pouring from Johnny's nostrils as he slowly cut the distance between him and Kim

"Johnny bubbe baby, don't worry about her she's just joking…..what about me Johnny-boy….don't forget about me….."

Johnny's hands clenched around the handle of the switchblade he was preparing to strike.

_I've got to do something!_ Thinking quickly Ron banged his right hand against the dumpster "Hey everyone, guess what, Johnny's a girl's name!" He shouted into the night.

Johnny's head swiveled to screech at Ron. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" He pulled his hand back to attack. Just then Kim's hand flicked out with blazing speed to chop him on the wrist The switchblade spun away as Johnny's right hand went numb.

"AH!" Johnny clutched at his hand. He looked up just in time to see Kim's fist about to make a high speed connection with his chin. Johnny fell unceremoniously onto his back unmoving.

A full sixty seconds passed before Ron realized what just happened. "Holy Crap You Knocked Him Out!"

Kim continued to stare down at the body "I did?"

"Yes you knocked him the f….."

"Wow" she gasped "I've never knocked anyone out before……" She smiled modestly "I…..I…uh I've been taking Martial Arts classes on and off since I was little"

"I'm sure" Ron exclaimed as he took another glance at Johnny then back at Kim. "Did you plan it all out like this?"

"Planned it out? Uh no…..I didn't really plan anything at all……Nice distraction there"

"What?"

"Nice distraction, you banging on the dumpster and calling him names, it distracted him long enough for me to get the drop on him"

"Distraction? I guess so" he ran his hands across the back of his neck "So what, do you roam the city at night looking for thugs to punch?"

"Huh?" Kim said still partially in shock "no this is the first time I've ever done anything like this. I don't know what came over me"

"So you are not aware of your own insanity?"

"Insanity?" she drew a few more breaths.

"Yes you could have been killed! Who jumps in the middle of a robbery attempt anyway?"

"I don't know I guess I do" Kim said the adrenaline fizzing in her veins was starting to wear off.

"Well" Ron laughed "I guess you do….good thing too you saved my life, thank you. The name is Ron Stoppable by the way a now avid supporter of the Feminist movement."

Kim smiled and shook his hand "Kim Possible, and it's no big"

A blinding light washed over them both. "You'se two all right?" The cabdriver shouted at them.

Kim used her hands to shield her eyes from the cab's headlights "Yes we are, can you call the police! Please and Thank You" She turned back to Ron "Well Ron that was rather exciting wasn't it?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron felt a bit fragile as he exited the police station, which could be considered normal after days of frustration, and having spent every bit of his energy being chased by a maniac.

He had been released first but he decided to hang around and thank the red headed girl again for saving him. Fifteen minutes after he exited, Kim stepped out of the station. She looked a bit tired and as Ron rushed up to her, for a brief nano second, he wondered if he should put his arms around her. But that would be weird since she was like, a total stranger.

"Hey," he said to her, "look I'd just like to again say thanks a lot, for saving me back there. I'd be a goner if it wasn't for you."

"It's no big, I was just doing…….Actually, I have no idea what I was doing back there."

Ron grinned. "Yeah, that was kind of obvious, but that doesn't matter since you came out on top."

"I just got caught up in the moment, you know how that is…."

"Oh yeah, trust me, I know all about getting caught up in the moment…..but I uh... my moments have never gotten that suicidal." Ron cleared his throat. "So well thanks again but I guess I'll be heading on hom…"

"Look um," Kim interrupted, "I know this is going to sound strange, but I don't really want to go home alone."

Ron's eyes widened with surprise.

"No wait," she said quickly, "what I meant to say is that I'm not ready to go home yet….that is I don't feel like going home yet……I just want to do something before going home to be by myself…..you see what I'm saying?"

"Not really, but I'm not on a strict schedule or anything." He looked past her and down the block. "The uh entrance to Trinity Park is about four bocks that way….we can go for a walk or something…if you want."

She nodded and smiled "Sure that sounds great uh sorry what was your name again….."

"Ron, Ron Stoppable."

"Ron that sounds great."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Did you mean it?" Kim asked with her gaze on the ground

Ron eyed her curiously as they casually strolled past the pretty much empty park's carousal ride. "What?"

She looked up "I'm sorry that was a little abrupt. I was just curious about what happened earlier. When you told the mugger that you didn't care if he stabbed you or not, did you mean it?"

"Did that impress you?"

"Not particularly"

"Well you should be impressed; I do this kind of stuff every other Friday"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Ok, you're not being serious."

"What, you don't like brave guys?"

"I do, but there's brave and then there's idiotic"

_Alright, she's not getting you're brand of offbeat style humor but don't panic. Just keep cool _"You're right, I'm not being serious, I don't really mean anything I ever say, ever. Like back there with the mugger…..I was just trying to confuse him before I made my move. I would have taken him down too, if you hadn't interrupted."

"Right of course," she replied. "So you're not one of those kinds of guys who are quick to throw their lives away?"

_Ah crap the mood is too serious now._

"No I'm not ready for death but that never stopped me from thinking about it. It usually hits me around the time after I put my head on the pillow at night and right before I roll the covers up to my chin….but uh….

_What's that word? It was on Jeopardy last night……… To deviate or wander away from the main topic or purpose in speaking or writing; depart from the principal line of argument, plot, study……..What is to digress?_

"…….I digress; I intend to live forever and so far, so good" He paused for a moment. "Man, this is driving me insane but have we met before?"

"That's weird, I'm getting that same vibe too…..Do you go to Upperton University?"

_Me Upperton U? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA………._

"No, I go to Q"

"Q?"

"City University of Upperton…C.U.U. Nobody else calls it Q but me because….never mind….Have you ever been to Middleton?"

"Born and raised," she said proudly.

"Whoa, I grew up there too! Did you go to Middleton High?"

"No I went to a private school."

"Where did you go?"

"Oh, you wouldn't have heard of it….."

"Try me."

"Uh"

"Come on."

"The Fellowship of Learning and Centre for Specialized Education"

"Ok, you're right I haven't heard of it" Ron replied. Though there was something vaguely familiar about the name, yet he couldn't place his finger on it.

"It was an experimental school; the grades ran from Pre-k to the twelfth grade."

Something finally registered in Ron's brain. A memory he had long thought irrelevant. "Oh, the fancy privileged school at the edge of town."

"You see, that's a gross generalization, our school admitted a wide variety of students of all academic backgroun---"

Ron interrupted. "Didn't you have to take an entrance exam just to enroll in the Pre-k classes?"

"Yes, well that is true," Kim said sheepishly.

Ron nodded, remembering clearly an event he hadn't given a second's thought in years. "I took that test."

"Really? What happened?"

Ron offered her a fleeting glance.

"Oh," she said understanding.

"I'm a public school man, been in the system all my life. It's pretty funny though if I were smarter or better yet if you were dumber we might have gone to the same school. Stop me if I'm being to….." _She's obviously smarter than you, impress her with big words_ "…..meddlesome but how did you do on the test?"

"Well, first of all, the idea that you can quantify intelligence by some inane system of standardized testing is superficial at best……"

_Duh………_"Of course."

"Having said that, I got some of the best scores the school has ever seen."

Ron smiled at her glaring modesty. "So you're a brain."

"A brain? I'm so not a brain."

"You're not? Well it sounds like it to me."

"Calling me a brain implies all I do is study, which is totally not the truth."

"So…..what is the truth…what else do you do besides being a brain?" Ron inquired.

"Well in high school I was a cheerleader; actually I'm still a cheerleader but the Upperton Wombats are so bad I don't really like to admit it. Back in high school I had a job baby sitting for the parents in my neighborhood, which a still do sometimes when I go back home during vacations, that's if I don't have to catch up on any school projects. It's easy to fall behind when you're taking twenty one credits a semester……I also do volunteer work at the Host Families for International….

"A little overboard on the extra currics don't you think?"

"…..at the University Youth centers, Clean and Green Trinity Park," she glanced around at her surroundings, "which reminds me we need a few more recycling bins here…..I'm a Sunshine Spreader and finally I'm a volunteer social worker at the Amanda and Jake Program Inc."

He laughed.

"What? What's so funny?"

He took a moment to pull himself together. "I'm sorry, I sort of get a kick out of you Type A 'I can do anything' types."

"Again with the labeling, I'm not an 'I can do anything type', trust me."

"No trust me, I know people, and for what these ears have heard and what these eyes have seen…..." He paused "I'm not saying that's a bad thing, truth is you sound like you do a lot of good stuff. But I can confidently say if this was a TV show, 'I can do anything' would be your theme song."

Kim stopped and kicked a small pebble away from her feet. "Well Mr. know it all….if I can do anything, how come the only…..well I guess you can call it barely decent relationship I've had in awhile ended earlier tonight?"

They stopped walking, the sudden awkwardness forced Ron's gaze to drift away from her but it didn't stay away for long. With a smirk he said "Well you can do anything that includes getting dumped. The logic is sound."

Kim shook her head and walked past him. "No the logic is not sound, in fact is it fails miserably," she said humorously. "Besides, I didn't get dumped."

"So you were the dumper?"

"Well no, not really…..technically he was going to…..things were complicated," she said hurriedly.

"Ah." At that moment, Ron's nose picked up the faint hint of sour cream and lamb. His eyes locked on to a nearby Gyro stand and on cue his stomach began to rumble ferociously.

A Gyro cart still open at this time of night, he was finally catching a break. "I know what will make you feel better….a little snackage."

"Snackage?" Kim asked but her words fell to death ears. She watched as Ron sniffed the air and followed his nose to a filthy looking food cart.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What kind of sauce is that?"

"I don't know, but I want more of it," Ron replied as he instructed the cart vendor to pile more unidentifiable substances onto his pita bread.

Kim turned away from the supposed food product and noticed a small marble statue of three robed women hanging from a small chain on the canopy.

"The Three Graces, this statue is beautiful," she said.

"Oh thank you," the vendor said. He was a relatively young man most likely in his early thirties.

"Did you bring this from home?"

"Pardon me?" The vendor asked as he accepted Ron's money.

"Did you bring it from home?"

"What, you mean my apartment?"

"No uh," she paused, "no, your, you know, your original home."

"Oh," he said as he handed Ron some change. "You mean Greece. Actually, I'm from Connecticut, so no"

"Oh but your parents, they're from……."

"Rhode Island."

"But their parents are from….."

"Kentucky." He smiled at her with sincere kindness.

"Oh I uh….."

"Alright," Ron patted Kim on the shoulders, "thanks for the grub dude, but we're off."

"Clearly I am ignorant scum," Kim sighed as they turned away from the cart.

Ron took a big bite out of his gyro. "No, no, no, no….maybe…"

"I can't believe I did that. Where's the nearest cliff I totally need to jump off one right now."

"Let's hold off on the suicide watch, let's look at the positives. The good thing in all this is that at least you're not ignorant about being ignorant. So all's not lost"

"You do have a point" He offered her a bite of his gyro. She politely declined "no thanks

"You're missing out; this is absolutely orgas….delicious."

She watched as he savagely feasted on the saucy mess. "I thought guys were into the health food scene these days. At least the ones I know, it's all tofu pizza's and carrot sticks, and that's what they eat going into the gym."

"No need to worry," Ron said without a mouthful of food, "I have the metabolism of a gazelle."

"A gazelle has a fast metabolism?"

"You tell me, you're the smart one. All I know is that I eat all I want and I don't gain a pound."

"No need to brag."

He shook his head "not bragging, just stating facts. Do you mind if we sit down so I can digest in peace."

"Sure" Kim led them to a park bench on a hillside with a clear view of the city lights in the distance.

"So why did you break up with your boyfriend?" he asked casually as he nibbled on a piece of lamb.

"What?"

"You said you broke up with your boyfriend. What happened there?"

"So what are we best friends now? Why should I tell you something so personal?"

Ron licked some sauce of his lips. His dammed impulsiveness had gotten him to blurt out something that had just popped into his mind. Now his gut was telling him to just let things drop right now, but he'd never gotten far by listening to his gut. Then again, listening to his heart hadn't won him any prizes either. And his brain, ha, it hardly ever brought anything useful to the table. Hell he might as well roll the dice and go with it this one time. Anyway it would take up way too much mental energy to try and steer the conversation in another direction, and keep it interesting. Right now he was exhausted and he'd rather have her walk away disgusted; then to stress himself out thinking over new topics

"Well first of all, we just shared an 'It can only happen in the city' moment that we can tell our grandchildren. But if that's not enough, I surprisingly enough was also dumped tonight."

"I didn't get dumped" she snapped back before sighing heavily "did you really breakup with some one tonight?"

"Yep"

"You're serious…how long did it last?"

"It was going on two years" Ron swallowed again.

"Wow two years," Kim clucked. "My three months seems to have lost some of its tragic grandeur."

"Sure, whatever that means."

"Are you ok?"

Ron nodded "I think so….it stings a bit you know"

"It might not make you feel any better; but I don't think you can make it through life without some "I can't believe this is happening to me" moments."

"You're right" he sighed "that doesn't make me feel better"

"Did you love her?"

"I said I did…..well it was close enough I guess………..So come on tell me what happened."

She groaned before proceeding to tell him how she wasn't sure about dating Nicholas at first, but he was persistent with his advances, and at the time her friend Monique was always harping on her about having a social life and such. So eventually she said what the heck. Nicholas was a nice guy, he was smart, ambitious, hardworking, and maybe a bit too pragmatic……."

Interestingly enough, yet also hardly surprising, as Kim rattled off Nicholas's stats Ron found that he and Nicholas did not share many traits, except for being pragmatic. Was he pragmatic? He had no idea; he would have to look the word up later. It sounded nice. _That Ron Stoppable is so pragmatic!_

He hoped he was at least a little pragmatic.

"….. It was Friday night. I was bored, I just thought we could do something fun, is that so wrong?"

"No way, fun is about as good a habit as there is. And it sure doesn't look like you've ever had any fun."

"What?"

"I didn't say anything, go on……"

"So out of nowhere, he just turns into this humongous jerk."

"Did a complete one-eighty on ya"

"Totally, what a jerk….no what a joke, he's a jerk and a joke……I'm probably better off single right now anyway…….So what about you, what's your thing?"

"My thing?" Ron stared off into the space. "It's not really that interesting."

"That's for me to find out isn't it…..what happened did you lie to her? She caught you in a lie didn't she?"

Ron nodded "Yea who would have thought she'd ask to see the bat cave?"

"Come on, spill'

Ron's right leg twitched nervously "we had issues."

"Oh come on! I just laid out my guts in a line and all you're going to say is that we had issues?"

Ron smiled grimly. "Correction, I had issues."

"What kinds of issues?"

"Personal issues"

"Sexual?"

"No, no, no, no, no………no I had uh" he coughed "a 'closeness' issue, that's what she said anyway. Her name was Zita by the way."

"Pretty name"

"Yeah…..she said that I wouldn't let her get close……which is weird since I tried everything I could to be a decent, normal boyfriend. ……I guess it wasn't enough," he sighed.

Then it happened, that awkward moment between two people who've talked for a long time and have now run out of spontaneous things to say. A long period of silence in which you must now decide if you like the other person enough to continue interacting with them or to make some sort of excuse to walk away.

Kim tilted her head up towards the sky. "Nice night."

"Yeeeeeeaaaaaaahhh," Ron replied as he followed suit, "Hey you ever wonder if we're not really part of the universe. Like if this whole world is inside a snow globe in a fat guy's hand" he whispered

"Huh did you say something?"

"Who me? No I didn't say anything" he told her quickly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron was on his back as he lay down on his half of the park bench, his feet tapping along the ground.

"Well, I don't think I'll be looking for a girlfriend anytime soon..."

She smirked. "So you're going to be looking for a boyfriend then?"

"No, I like girls," he said childishly. "I mean that I have to, you know get some sort of life in order before I even get back on this relationship horse."

"That's not a bad idea. It would probably be best to get your priorities in order."

"Right, I'll finish school, hand my parents my degree, go on a road trip around the U.S.A, win the lottery, meet and have breakfast with my dream girl in a quaint diner, that serves a grand slam breakfast for less than five dollars, and then live happily ever after."

"Nice plan, you're quite the dreamer," She mused

"I call it my 'five year plan'."

"So your dream girl just falls right into your lap huh? Then its love at first sight I presume?"

"Immediately, and with no drama attached."

"Everyone dreams of the fairy tale 'happily ever after' sitch, but the whole finding your soul mate thing is so rare. I mean, there are billions of people in the world. The chances are better going into any and all relationships; you'll end up keying cars, tossing insults and leaving emotional scars."

"You're preaching to the choir sister"

She turned to Ron. "So seriously what do you think? Soul mate, fact of fiction?"

Ron shrugged. "I like to think there's someone out there for everyone."

"Really?"

"Yeah…..the thing is...I'm probably wrong. My brain is telling me you're most likely right about the whole relationships angle. But I can't help but feel different. There's just got to be a girl out there for me."

"Well," she smiled at him musingly as if she was visualizing what he had just said. Then she playfully nudged him with her elbow, "don't look now buddy, but you might be a hopeless romantic."

"Hmmm, or maybe my elementary school teacher was right when he said I was a 'dang blasted, doe eyed fool'. The thing that threw me off about that was he said it with a French accent."

"I don't think you're a fool at all. I think it's kind of sweet"

"Maybe I'm a little bit of both. A fool and a romantic"

"That's not necessarily a bad thing."

Ron was quiet for a moment. He put his right hand over his face and with a chuckle said, "Who needs a girlfriend, when I have old Handrietta here."

_Oh crap……_

Kim chortled. "Ewwwww T.M.I."

_You idiot, you don't say stupid stuff like that too a girl, you say that to dudes like Felix and Vince  
_

Ron sat up quickly in a panic. "Oh geez I'm sorry, I didn't mean too say that."

"Hey, don't get worked up about it, I've two teenaged horrors for brothers. Trust me, I've heard worse."

Ron sighed. "I'm sorry; I usually have a brain filter to keep stuff from leaking out"

"Stuff like what?"

"Stuff that's not important stupid stuff."

Kim seemed amused. "Maybe your traumatic breakup has messed with your filtration system."

_For some reason it's not bothering to work properly_

"And the way I was eating earlier. I was starving, hungry, hungry like the wolf….you know. I'm usually not that destructive when it comes to feed

Kim placed her hand up "Uh brothers" she reminded him before glancing at her watch. "Oh man it's getting late, I need to get home."

Ron jumped to see his feet. "Right, late, home, sure.Yea I think it's time to go" His head swiveled from side to side. "Wait; are we on the east side or the west side?"

"West side," Kim said as she stood up.

"Right, right, uh," He turned to his left, then to his right. He pointed forward. "I've got to go this way I think."

She pointed in the opposite direction "I'm going that way. Well Mr. Stoppable it's been fun."

_Fun _

Ron stuck out his hand. "Ms Possible, I wish you luck or something else random and uncontrollable in the future. And here's hoping you find your soul mate real soon."

She graciously shook his hand. "Same to you, and if you happen to find your soul mate, look me up I'm in the book. We'll celebrate."

"Oh, ok maybe I will, I'll call if I find you…I mean if I find…my um…you know, ok um, goodbye." Ron started off to his left.

"Um, weren't you supposed to be going this way?" Kim motioned to the right.

"Oh right yeah," Ron laughed self deprecatingly. "I'm such a scatterbrain."

Kim smiled as he waved goodbye before going off in the correction direction. She then in turn took the opposite path.

"_That went along pretty good…..God I hope she didn't think I was weird"_

"_He was pretty nice in a weird way sort of way_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few days later:

_What are you doing? It's not like she really invited you to call her. She probably doesn't even remember you. Girls like that are like goldfish they'll forget who you are eight seconds after you're gone_

Ron held the phone up with his shoulder as he stared into the phone book. He quickly began to punch in a few numbers, hesitating slightly entering the last digit.

"Hello" said a male voice from the other line.

"Hello. May I please speak with Kimberly please?"

"Sorry, Kim isn't here at the moment."

"Uh... okay... um...Wow I forgot how much I sucked at this…..phone conversations I mean."

"Ok…….I'm her father and I'm visiting her for the weekend. Why don't I just get your phone number and……"

"Uh you know what, forget it, and forget I even called, or existed." Ron quickly hung up, and then he proceeded to toss the phone book into the trash.

"What's all the hubbub bub?" Vince said as he entered the hallway before taking a big bite from a turkey sandwich.

"Is that my sandwich?" Ron asked.

"Yeah it's delicious…..The sweet onion sauce was a delightful touch…" he looked at the phone book in the trash "What's going on?"

Ron shook his head and let out a sigh. "I'm not a bit pragmatic."

"What?"

"Never mind, Agony County is on right?"

It's a repeat"

"Great," Ron groaned, "just great."

* * *

A/N Here we are again the place where I plead for your reviews because I have no self esteem. 

Anyway there have been some concerns concerning (Ha) Kim and I can agree with most of them. Kim is more complex then most people give her credit for. But I've got an idea of where I want to go with her so you'll have to say tuned for more development. Although suggestion are welcome (they probably won't be used but they're welcome)


	4. Run In

A/N Welcome back folks...first of all I'd like to thank all of you who stopped by Wedding Bells and checked that story out I didn't expect such good responses for that one.

Well enjoy this update, I'm going to be working on the next chapter of Middlewood now and some of my older stories. Thanks in advance to all you readers

* * *

A few weeks later:

Broom in hand, Jake stood motionless in the middle of the room. The sound of a burger patty sizzling on a grill broke the relative silence of the kitchen. He turned dramatically and brought the broom closer to his body, using the very tip like a microphone.

"You see, man made the cars to take us over the road," he paused for effect. "Man made the traaaaains to carry heavy loads. Man made electric light to take us out of the dark, man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark."

In the far side of the room, Ron sat on top of an empty crate and aloofly watched this impromptu concert.

Jake tilted his head back "This is a man's, a man's, a man's world. But it wouldn't be nothing; nothing without a woman or a girl."

"This is the worst impression I've ever seen," Ron moaned.

"Man thinks about a little baby girls and a baby boys, man makes then happy 'cause man makes them toys. And after man has made everything, everything he can. You know that man makes money to buy from other man. This is a man's world! But it wouldn't be nothing; nothing without a woman or a girl!"

Jake swiveled his head from the left to right and pointed to Ron in the corner. "Oh man needs a woman. I sympathize with a man who doesn't have woman. He's looooossssst in the wilderness! He's looooossssst in bitterness….."

As Ron groaned another one of his fellow employees bolted into the room. He wore the same grease stained apron with the accompanying hair net as Ron and Jake.

His name was Benny and he was the senior employee of the diner, and when the owner was way, which was usually the case, he was in charge. "Alright Ron, me and Jake will work the grill, you take the orders."

"Which means you'll be playing cards back here as I stand out front…..I don't get it, don't diners usually hire waitresses, why do we have to cook and take orders?"

Jake gaped at Ron in mock shock. "What are you a sexist? You think taking orders is women's work? Well they're hiring lumberjack's downtown if you want a manly job."

"It's not like that…..I'm just wondering, you know…..what am I doing here?"

"Have you forgotten? You wanted money to spend on your ex chick…..So through my vast connections I got you this job here with me and at Mendy's."

Ron lowered his head. "Alas, I'm not with my 'chick' anymore hence the 'ex' part…so why am I here?"

"Wait a minute," Benny interrupted, "I thought the guys who worked at Mendy's were..." he made his hand appear to have a broken wrist.

"A classic myth, allow me to bust it," Jake exclaimed. "It happens to be a fact, that the entire male staff at Mendy's, are heterosexual males. But the female populace in this city does not believe that regular Joes like me and Ron…..well like me anyway... can know anything about fashion. So we're not only sales people, we're also professional actors, and we perform accordingly for the lasses and we take their money…..though our blond amigo here refuses to go all out, which is why I had to save him from being fired many, many times."

"But it's deceptive," Ron grumbled. "It's got to be false advertisement or something."

"It's called business; you give the people what they want, even if it's not what they want but an illusion of what they want."

"Forget it, I'm quitting that job."

"Well you've still got Sal's diner."

"I'm quitting this job too."

"What, you've got a problem with the food industry?"

"No, I've got a problem with grease clogging up arteries, as well as my sinuses, this job doesn't just stink; it stinks on ice, in a freezer, during an ice storm."

"Hey watch it, Benny's been working here for five years and he gets easily offended."

"Yeah, I'm easily offended," Benny added. "And what's wrong with a little grease in your nose…." Benny's fingers inched towards his nostrils.

Jake caught him by the wrist before his index finger could make contact "Benny, no nose picking when you're on the clock ok."

Ron sighed. "Man, I hope to God these aren't my golden years."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"A party at the dean's house, the actual dean of the university?" Monique inquired as she and Kim stepped out from under the awning of a department store and into the sun.

"Yeah," Kim said as she rooted through her latest purchase, a fairly expensive handbag. She snatched an invitation from the bag and handed it to Monique as she slipped on her sunglasses. "The Dean likes to 'engage' with the students every now and then, so he throws parties like these, to keep in touch with the younger generation. Though most of the guests are usually on the honor roll, or have parents who are huge investors, whichever the case maybe."

Monique scanned the invite as the two friends strolled down the city block. "Well what do you think?" Kim asked when they stopped at a street corner.

"As your friend, I'd prefer that you ditched the snooty party and came to my little shindig but as a- would be fashion entrepreneur. I know the importance of networking. This party will be packed with the cream de la cream of Upperton U's social 'elite' you could make some excellent connections for the future……..so its ok if you can't make it to my party."

"Thanks."

"No prob." Monique sighed and the friends continued down the street.

"You know, in all honesty, I'd rather have a nice quiet evening at home."

Monique chortled. "Ah the battle cry of the socially inept."

"Uh excuse me; I'm not inept at anything….except maybe cooking, anyway I have reasons for not wanting to go…..I've heard that Nicholas is going to be there…….Things might get a little awkward."

"Hmmm, what you should do is show up at that party with some delicious man candy on your arm and a fabulously tight dress to show him what's he's missing."

"I had a feeling you'd say something like that; problem is where do I find some 'man candy' before the weekend?" She said sarcastically

Monique grinned. "You don't find the man candy Kim. You're supposed to use your feminine wiles to lure the man candy to you."

"You better watch yourself Mo; you're starting to sound like a certain brunette."

"She who shall not be named?"

"Exactly…" Kim stopped and scanned the immediate area. "I'm so starving right now." Her gaze fell onto a building across the street, with a sign on the window offering a ten dollar lunch special. "Let's check out this diner."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't know; it'll get really weird, I mean the break up was so intense." The girls glanced over their menus as they sat in a window booth closest to the exit. Excluding the two of them, the diner was practically empty.

"What, so are you going to let this guy dictate where you will or will not party? Besides, how intense could it have been really?"

Kim brought her thumb and index finger together and separated them by about two inches. "I was this close to caving his nose in with my fist."

"Violent much? Though I stand corrected, that does actually sound intense. Kim sweetie, you need to think positively. If you really, truly want it to happen, a gorgeous, athletic, intellectual, and artistic, hunky specimen of man will drop out of the sky just in time for the party."

Kim thought about it. "I'd like to believe you……"

"You must believe, believe it and it will come true." Monique pressed her fingers against her forehead. "Just keep thinking soul mate, soul mate, soul mate and the universe will eventually answer."

"…..Yet I feel I must keep at least a minimal grip on reality."

"Why bother? Reality is highly overrated."

Kim exhaled. "Who do you have to French to get some service around here?"

"Can I take your order," said a bored voice.

Monique started. "Yeah I…."

"Ron!"

"Kim!"

"Errrr..." Monique looked from Ron to Kim then back to Ron.

"What are you doing here?" Kim asked.

"I uh…well," there were many times in Ron's life where he wanted to be somewhere other than were he was presently at. But this moment right now was currently skyrocketing to the top ten. He shrugged. "I work here."

It probably wouldn't have sounded that bad if he hadn't choked on the "ere" part of here.

"Oh," she said.

Top five and climbing

"So," he uncomfortably shifted his body from the left to the right.

"So," she said. There was a long pause.

Monique broke the silence. "Soooooo, Ron is it, how would you rank today's specials?"

Ron tore his eyes away from Kim. "Best, good, ok, decent, and wrong sick..."

"Uh no," Monique shook her head. "I don't mean how you'd rank them, like the system you'd rank them with. I meant how you would rank them in terms of edibility."

A flash of recognition came over Ron's face. "Oh I…um," he glanced at Kim again "I'm going to be honest with you guys the specials are all pretty terrible."

"Oh," Kim scanned the menu, "what about the salads?"

"They go down like razor blades."

"Is there anything good here?" Monique asked

Ron reflected on this for a moment. "I can make you guys something off menu."

"You don't have to go through all that…."

Ron put his hands up to cut her off. "Don't worry about it. It's the least I can do after you saved my life."

Monique's eyes went wide. "Oh this is THE guy from that night."

"Please, THE guy is too formal; my friends just call me guy."

"Really, we'll just find something from the menu," Kim stated.

"Trust me, you don't want that…I'll take care of this personally, just give me five minutes tops." Ron rushed in the direction of the kitchen.

"Can you believe it?" Kim said as Ron disappeared behind the counter. "Fifteen million people in the city and I run into him again so soon. What are the odds?"

Monique ran her right hand through her hair reflectively. "Yes what are the odds?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wow, look at him go" Benny remarked as he and Jake watched Ron skillfully work the grill. It wasn't more than two minutes ago that Ron had barged into the room and demanded an opportunity at the kitchen alone. "Notice how he lacks any extraneous movements, every flip with the spatula, every sprinkling of pepper, adds to the overall flavor."

"What did you expect? Did you see those two out there? I'm surprised he didn't offer to shine their shoes."

"Eh, I've dated hotter."

"Can one of you hand me the salsa?"

Jake grabbed a bowl of salsa and handed it to Ron before turning to Benny. "What are you talking about when have you dated someone as hot as those two?"

"My last girlfriend, she was hotter than the two of them combined."

"I haven't seen you with a girl since I've been here."

"Benny, grab me the lettuce leaves….no wait, the fresh lettuce leaves."

Benny nodded to acknowledge Ron. "Of course you haven't seen her. She doesn't live in this state," he told Jake while fetching the lettuce.

"That's such an eighth grade lie," Jake groaned. "My imaginary girl lives two towns over."

"She lives in Pennsylvania!"

Jake scoffed. "Sure, I understand, you're dating a Quaker…..So Ron do you know these girls?"

Ron mixed in some onions into a bowl of Caesar dressing. "The red head out there, her name is Kim. She's the one that saved my life that night."

Surprise flashed across Jake's face. "Really? Jeez what are the odds of that?"

Ron froze. "I know, I never thought I'd see her again…..weird." He then returned his concentration to his cooking.

"Are you going to ask her out?"

Ron laughed. "Are you serious, did you see those two? They're the representatives of every girl who's ever rejected me."

"I still say they aren't that hot!"

"Benny, stop your lying…."

"Everyone shut up!" the room immediately went quiet as Ron rubbed his gloved hands together. "It's done." He tightly rolled up the two sandwich wraps and secured them both with a toothpick. "Perfect grilled chicken salad wraps in less than three minutes."

Benny and Jake applauded accordingly.

"Benny, get me two bags of sunchips; Jake I need two glasses of coke…no diet cokes, stat."

Benny and Jake rushed to retrieve the items. "Ron, you me, our own restaurant…think about it."

"Never going to happen Jake," Ron shouted as he placed the wraps on a plastic tray. A minute or so later, he presented the assembled meals to Kim and Monique.

"Here you go ladies, Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad Wraps I made them myself," he said gleefully as he placed the food on their table.

"It looks delicious," Kim commented.

"It tastes delicious," Ron replied.

He looked on anxiously as the two took small bites of the sandwich wraps, savored and chewed for at least ten seconds.

Monique was the first to respond. "Oh my God, my knees just buckled."

"It's absolutely exquisite," Kim declared.

Ron let out a relieved sigh. "Ok I'll let you guys….you know, eat." He slowly backed away, "and if you need anything more….than just call or shout…I'll be…..in…the back." He then turned and pranced back to the kitchen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Can we please not talk about this right now Monique? Because he'll show up again and I don't want to be talking about him if he does."

"He can't hear us," Monique whispered.

"He'll sense it, people always sense these things."

"All I'm saying is, for this kind of treatment, you must have left quite an impression on the boy."

"Yeah I kind of saved his life."

"Is that all you did? Are you sure all that excitement and adrenaline in the air didn't lead to an inner city liaison?"

"You see, this is why we can't be girl friends anymore. I'm officially your enemy."

Monique laughed.

Kim took in another mouthful. "This sandwich wrap is incredible; it's got me all flustered."

"I know; I'm glistening. If I smoked I would totally need a cigarette right now…" Monique stopped then she leaned back into her seat.

"What? What are you thinking?"

She pointed at Kim "I'm thinking about your sitch."

Kim stared at her friend curiously. "My sitch? What's my sitch?"

"Let me lay it all out for you. You've been invited to a party this weekend, your, pardon my French, schmuck of an ex is going to be there and you as of this moment have no escort. Now coincidently enough, the young man whose life you saved a few weeks ago, who you most likely never expected to see again, but if I remember correctly you described as quirky and funny in a weird sort of way, is somewhere in the back of this restaurant after serving you a meal he created especially for you...

"For us!"

"...Kim, do you know what this is?"

"Please enlighten me on what this is."

Monique leaned over the table. "This is fate."

Kim scoffed. "Oh come on."

"Girl, haven't you ever seen a romantic movie? This is how it starts!"

Kim returned to her sandwich. "Monique, do me a favor and get your head checked."

"Ok," Monique pulled a ten dollar bill from her purse and dropped it onto the table. Then she abruptly stuffed the rest of her wrap and her bag of chips into the bag. "I'll see ya later."

"Wha…where are you going?"

"I'm giving you the alone time you need to come to your senses and ask blondie out."

Kim held Monique by the arm. "What are you talking about?"

"Kim, I'm the first one who will admit that he is on the surface far from a gorgeous, athletic, intellectual, and artistic, hunky specimen of man. But he's cute…and he's dropped out of the sky just in time for the party. And honestly honey, sometimes that's enough."

Monique pulled her arm away. "Wait," Kim cried. "But I'd feel bad using him as a last resort…."

"Girl, how can he be a last resort when you didn't have any other resorts? Seems to me like he's a first resort" Monique then bounded happily towards the exit. "Call me when you get home," she called out over her shoulders.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minutes later:

"I was wondering if you'd like some dessert…..uh what happened to your friend?"

Kim looked up from her table. "She had an emergency and she had too……um run."

"Oh."

She smiled at him. "Would you like to sit down?"

Ron pointed to himself. "Me…..sit down?"

"Sure."

He looked over his shoulders like a child about to reach into a cookie jar right before dinner. "Ok," he squeaked.

He slid into the seat across from her. "So how was the food?"

"Immaculate."

"I'm assuming that means good, so I'll take that as a compliment."

"Take it and run," she said. "So…….."

"So," Ron said.

This was not witty banter, this was echoing.

She ran her index finger in a circular motion around the rim of her soda glass. "ok um t…t….tell me something a little about yourself."

Ron was taken aback at first. "You want to know about me?"

"Yeah, I think it's a fair trade, since you know so much about me. Not only did I tell you what school I went to and about my breakup, I also told you about all my extra curricular activities."

Ron ran his hands across the back of his neck. "Oh so that's how it works…you tell me something about you and I tell you something about me."

"That's the new thing spreading around campus; it's called a 'conversation'. I hate to brag, but we Upperton U students really live on the cutting edge," she said with a smirk.

He inhaled and exhaled. "Something about me…..why not….uh I'm Jewish, most of the time…..As a person of Jewish persuasion I'm fated…to like certain things……my mother, God…...Steven Spielberg…….Moses…...holidays."

"That sounds perfectly reasonable."

"I'm from Middleton but you already know that because I told you that the other night….my parents are still living there…..my father is an accountant which is quite an achievement since you rarely see Jewish accountants this day and age…um ok my mom runs a deli at the Middleton Mall…..and they both live in a two story house with my adopted sister."

"Adopted sister?"

"Yeah, her name is Hannah." Ron reached into his back pocket and removed his wallet. "She's six years old." He pulled a picture from the wallet and handed it to Kim.

"Aww, you carry a picture of her in your wallet."

Ron looked down at his wallet. "Well it's not like I don't have plenty of room."

"She's adorable," Kim cooed.

"You've got brothers right…two of them?"

"The twins," Kim said as she continued to admire Hannah's picture. "Jim and Tim, they're teenagers and are bigger pains than ever before. I'm seriously thinking we should trade siblings."

She handed back the photo "Is that all you're willing to divulge about yourself?"

"You want more?"

"I do….just one more thing…..something interesting."

"Interesting…..ok…." he vigorously ran his hands through his hair. "I….do not…….like……grapefruits."

"What do you have against grapefruits?"

"For one thing they're disguised like a big sweet juicy orange but in reality they're just bitter and yucky….."

He stopped. "Did I just say yucky?"

"Yep"

They had a rapid fire exchange of blinking before Kim chuckled.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I think grapefruits are yucky too."

"Oh….yeah, they're down right insipid!"

"Objectionable," she added.

"Repugnant!"

"Odius!"

"Loathsome even," Ron proclaimed.

Unfortunately after that exchange, the conversation immediately lapsed and quickly tumbled into the realm of awkward silence.

At a loss for words, Ron glanced out the window as his fingers tapped against the wooden table. He quickly returned his attention to Kim when she coughed.

He took in a deep breath. "Listen uh…." he said

"The thing is I'm not ready to get involved…." She said quickly

"……you're absolutely right, it's better that I should concentrate on school and stuff, at least it's something I can control…." He added quickly.

"…..I just don't think it's a good time for me to get….."

"Cool yeah I totally agree, me too, I'm so not in the right mental state for….."

"Do you want to go to a party this weekend?"

"Cuz it would be really stupid to try to force myself into something so soo--- What?"

"I've been invited to a party this weekend, and I don't want to go alone so I'm wondering if you'd like to go with me…."

Ron's right leg banged hard against the bottom of the table.

"…..As a friend," Kim finished, partially startled by the loud bang. "Is that ok with you just being friends? I mean I know it sounds…"

"No, it's fine, we can be friends…..I've never had a girlfriend, I mean I've had a _girlfriend_. But not a girl as a friend, which will be a relatively new thing for me, actually, now that I think about it, there was this one time….never mind …..I'm uh……Am I just babbling here?"

Kim smiled. "Yes you are, but somehow on some level I get you……I think." She pulled a pen from her purse and began to jot something down on a napkin.

"Hey you don't have to, your number is in the book right?"

"Yes but this time I'm actually expecting you to call. This just makes it official." She gave him the napkin. "Call me later and I'll give you the details."

He graciously accepted. "So what do I owe you?" she asked as she stood up.

Ron kept his eyes on the magical piece of paper. "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."

"No I couldn't possibly….."

He looked at her. "You saved my life and you invited me to a party. If that's not worth a free meal, I don't know what is."

"Are you sure you won't get in trouble?"

"No, but I have not thought about it long and hard, and I've realized I don't really care"

She smirked again. "That kind of attitude will get you fired."

"Here's hoping, this isn't exactly a four restaurant."

"You won't take my money will you?"

He shook his head no.

She blew out her breath. "Ok, thanks for everything," she told him as she started to walk away.

"No big."

"Don't forget to call" she blurted out before pushing through the exit.

"I won't," he shouted after her. He stared down at the napkin with her number on it. He nodded to himself. "Friends…..yeah….I can deal with that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three days later: The afternoon before the party:

Both hands under his chin, Ron sat in total contemplation at the table in the small kitchen area of their apartment. Jake sat on the other end of the table, wordlessly flipping through the business section of the local paper.

"I think I should bring flowers," Ron suddenly declared.

"Flowers are good. It'll be romantic."

"Good romantic….no…no…bad….flowers are bad…romantic is bad…I can't bring flowers, we're going as friends."

Jake shrugged. "Ok, but you want to be more than friends, right?"

"No I don't."

"Really?"

"Yes, this girl is so far out of my league, Jules Verne should be writing about it….any further pursuit on my part would only end in tragedy. Another tragedy coming off my last tragedy would really be tragic."

"Wow…….I can't believe you referenced Jules Verne."

"Are you paying attention man, I'm in need of assistance!"

Jake slammed the newspaper shut. "If you don't want to 'get' with her, then what's the point of prepping for this?"

"I might not be in it to win it, but I'd like to stay competitive on the field. You know what I'm saying?"

"No I don't because you're talking crazy."

"It's not my fault, it's this whole crazy ritual. I once spent thirty six hours preparing for my first date with Zita!"

"You just said this wasn't a date."

Ron dropped his head onto the table. "Don't listen to what I said man, listen to what I'm saying."

"You're driving me insane."

"You know what the worst part is? The party is being hosted by Upperton U's Dean. The entire guest list is probably on the honor role. And I bet at least sixty percent of them didn't have to buy their way on to it, but that doesn't mean they couldn't afford to."

"So what?"

Ron lifted his head off the table. "So what?" he said incredulously. "Do you understand that the entire room will be filled with people worth ten of me?"

Jake groaned. "Exaggerating?"

"Give me some tips."

"Huh?"

"How do I handle myself around these people, give me some advice."

"Just be yourself man."

Ron gawked at Jake for about a forty seconds. He pushed away from the table and walked towards the sink. There he poured himself a glass of water that he swallowed in one gulp. After that he slowly shuffled back to the table and took his seat, where he resumed gawking at his roommate. "What did you just say?"

"Be yourself?"

"Wait; let me clear the sanity out of my ears." Ron pretended to dig into his left ear. "Did you just say be yourself?"

"Yep"

"You do realize that I'm going to a socially elite party and not a comic book convention, right?"

Jake rolled his eyes. "Dude"

"Be myself? No one likes myself! I don't like myself! How can you sit there and tell me to be myself, you're living proof that one shouldn't be themselves, you're the antheseus of 'being yourself'."

"I believe its antithesis"

"You're the antithesis of being yourself."

Jake put his hand up to surrender. "Fine, I'll help you out. Do you have….like... a notebook or something?"

Ron ran into his room and hastily returned with a tiny seven by five inch notebook and pen.

"Alright," Jake started, "being in the field of business as I hope to be, you've got to know people. I've personally crashed tons of these kinds of parties before. Now the one thing you'll notice, if you really pay attention, is that ninety five percent of these party goers are superficial and phony as heck. Now if you pick your spots carefully and watch yourself, you can easily fake your way through the night." Jake started to scribble into the notebook. "Here's a tip if they're talking about some pretentious movie or some snobbish new book and you have no idea what they're talking about, just disagree with what they're saying, and disagree with an attitude, be a a bit of jerk about it. No one can ask you your favorite part of something if you hate it…..The party, is it formal wear or causal?"

"Causal"

"Ok so you're going to need Khakis. Luckily, I have a spare for just such an occasion."

"Jake mi amigo, I owe you big."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At the same moment across town, her hair still wet from her shower, Kim stared into the large mirror on the back of her closet door.

"My hair is so messed up. I look like a wolf that has just gone for a swim in the ocean."

Monique's voice wafted in from the speaker phone on Kim's night stand. "I'm sure your hair doesn't look that bad."

"I'm a breath away from cutting it all off."

"Ah the Britina look. I hate to tell you this girl but I don't think you have the hips to pull it off."

"Hmmm, if only mockery could heal split ends."

"You're really panicking over a supposed non-date."

Kim ran a comb through her hair. "This is a non-date. It's more specifically a friendly engagement between new friends."

"Yet you're panicking."

"I'm not panicking…I'm just a bit nervous about this party."

"Kim your mission tonight, if you choose to accept it; is to look good but not too good; so your so called new male friend doesn't expect anything but a causal encounter; in addition to making your ex realize he blew it by being a complete jackass."

"Right, I can't overdress, I need to look sexy and comfortable, yet low key."

"I've got it; remember the latest issue of Stylish I lent you?"

"Yeah" Kim opened the drawer on her night stand and picked a magazine out of it.

"Look at page thirty, the article on casual chic."

Kim skimmed through the magazine. "Monique I don't think any of these….oooohhhh this one isn't bad. I have this shirt."

"Casually elegant, you're welcome."

Twenty minutes later Kim once again found herself in front of the mirror. "I don't mean to sound conceited or anything but I am totally gorgeous."

"Gorgeous and humble, the complete package," Monique teased.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night:

"OK brain, stop being a spaz, this isn't even a real date!" Ron told himself.

_But there is a faint date-like vibe to this whole thing, it's freaking me out!_

"Stop freaking out, there is nothing to freak out about, this date like vibe is only in your imagination! So chillax!"

_Ok I got it._

"Are we cool?"

_Like an ice cube._

"If you screw this up…I swear…I'll, I'll…….I'll start eating lead paint…..do you understand me. Have I made myself clear?"

_Diamond_

"You mean crystal."

_Right crystal, crystal clear, that makes more sense._

He took a second to pull himself together before stepping into the elevator of Kim's apartment building. A moment later he found himself knocking on her door.

"Ok," he muttered to himself softly, "when she steps out I'll go 'hey, you look beautiful'….no wait, friends don't say beautiful, it's way to extreme...cute….no I'm not talking to a child….pretty….yeah, pretty is good….pretty is like beautiful but toned down…..ok I'll go with pre…."

"Hey," The door swung open and Kim stepped out. She wore a Venni Caprice black satin trim tunic shirt and tight black jeans.

Ron instinctively looked her up and down. "Wow you look prettiful..." he gasped "….I mean you look beatty …I mean…" he placed his face into his hands and sighed. "Can we start over?"

"What?"

"If you don't mind, can you please go back inside so we can start over?"

"Uh," Kim wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. So she asked "Are you serious?"

"I know it sounds crazy and weird, but if I start off the night like this, I'm never going to recover. Trust me, it's for the best."

"Ooooook." She reentered her house and closed the door.

"Ron-man you are so smooth no wonder the ladies are lining up around the block to be with you." He straightened himself out and knocked again.

"Hey….again," Kim said when she opened the door.

"You look great," Ron replied.

Ron himself was wearing a black button down shirt featuring a pixilated Bruce Lee on the back, and jeans. "You don't look to bad yourself," Kim remarked.

"I would have worn Khakis but I just found out this afternoon that I really hate Khakis."

"Really? I'm neutral on Khakis."

"Well unfortunately, I can't stand them at all. I don't mind cargo pants though."

"Fair enough, you do look fine though."

"Thanks, ok let me apologize beforehand for what I'm about to do."

Kim's left eyebrow raised. She had finally noticed that he had kept his left hand behind his back throughout the conversation. "Apologize for what?"

"For this" His hand whipped out and she found herself staring at a single red rose.

"I know this is a friendly non-date type of thing but I couldn't help but bring the rose. I've been brainwashed into giving girls flowers. When I was little my mother would tell me every day 'Ronnie, when you take the girls out, don't forget to bring the flowers, always remember the flowers' then she'd turn to my father and say 'isn't that right honey?' then he'd put his paper down and say 'Yes Ronald, flowers will always impress the chicks' he'd say it in a way he thought was cool, but it wasn't really cool at all, it was actually ironic since the only chicks I got back then were marshmallow peeps and…..you stare in confusion as I continue to ramble on about nothing."

He caught his breath. "Maybe it'd be best if I just hop on a bus and go back home……yeah. I'll just go now."

Kim grabbed him by the arm before he could run off. "It's ok. The rose it's really sweet."

Ron sighed "do girls still like sweet; I've been out of the game for so long."

"This girl still likes sweet, and that's all you need to know," she said with a grin.

"Badical," he said beaming.

"Should we go?" They both said at the same time.

"Jinx," Kim exclaimed before Ron could spit it out. "You owe me a coke," she laughed triumphantly.

"Looks like I'll have to be on my toes around you…..Diet or regular?"

"Diet is fine. Now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, shall we go?"

"Yes let's"

* * *

A/N See I can do fluffy its not all Agnst with me...I can do sweet!

Anyway I think this might be one of my better chapters in awhile. Hopefully the chapter flowed well. Of course what I think doesn't help my self esteem at all. It's what you guys think that helps me out. What do you think of this K/R run in? How was Kim and her subsequent reactions? Ron I'm pretty is on point since he's the only character I can write and maybe Monique, oh yeah what did you think about Monique's first meeting with Ron?

So review it'll make me feel better and helps Middlewood get updated faster


	5. Bonding?

A/N Welcome back folks. Obviously I invest a high volume of energy into Middlewood and About a Ron. But I'm getting really high on this fic.

Hopefully you are enjoying this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it……so far_  
_

* * *

_ Ok here we are…_

"Here" happened to be the cab that was currently leading Kim and Ron to their next destination, which happened to be a highly upscale party.

By Ron's standards anyway.

He peeked at Kim, her arms folded she rocked back and forth in time to the music coming from the car stereo.

_Cab rides do not impress the ladies. I wish I had a car, I should have a car. Why don't I have a car? Oh right I don't know how to drive…..Maybe I should say something_

He started too but his words found it necessary to cling for dear life in the back of his throat. He then decided it was better to wait until the song had ended or until the station went to commercial or when the cab stopped at a red light or…….

Kim sniffed the air "Do you smell something?"

"If it's fear and self pity you smell than that's probably me."

Apparently she did not hear him. "This cab stinks" She smiled before taking a moment to study his face "are you ok?"

He licked his lips "I'm cool"

"You sure?"

"Yep….So what's the deal with your dean throwing a party anyway?"

"Well he likes to keep in touch with the student populace. He's a really laid back administrator."

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat "And you're positive this is not a sophisticated thing---with uh suits and stuff."

"Yeah it's supposed to be casual."

"Ok" He exhaled "I think I should have worn the khakis."

"You look fine…"

"I was told" Ron declared "that these Upperton U hip/intellectual parties are strictly khaki affairs."

"Who told you that?"

"A very reliable source."

"Well tell your source that he/she is over generalizing Upperton U students."

Ron nodded "I should have worn the khakis." A few minutes later he found himself twiddling his thumbs "so um is your ex going to be there?"

Kim stared "Nicholas?"

_Nicholas eh?_

She looked down at her lap "yea there's a good chance he might be there."

Ron stayed silent

"….Unfortunately…..

He smiled

"...God knows I so don't want anything to do with that jerk."

"They say when you see your ex with someone else they never look better. So when he sees you looking all beautiful tonight he'll really be feeling like an idiot."

There was a forty three second pause

"I'm sorry."

She eyed him curiously "for what?"

"I just called you beautiful….."

"I don't think I got that memo, beautiful became an insult when?"

"I…ok it was a compliment."

"Thank you…. Anyway dressing up just to make an ex jealous would be really petty."

"Oh" Ron faced forward "Got to admire that, personally, if I know anything about myself, I don't think I'm above that kind of pettiness."

He turned his head towards the window. Kim looked down at her jeans; she used her hands to smooth out the wrinkles.

"I'm not either."

He looked at her "hmmm?"

"I'm not…" she diverted her eyes away from him "I guess I'm not really that above it myself."

He shrugged "ah we're only human."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Nice place" Ron whistled.

The dean's house which was located on the outskirts of the university was more akin to a mini mansion than an actual house

"Yeah it's neo-Georgian" Kim said as they sauntered up the walk to the house.

"Uhhhhhh-huuuuh"

"That means it's got red bricks up front."

"Well obviously." Ron stared up at the house "maybe I should just wait out here, keep the grass company"

"Oh come on" she put her hand on his shoulder "They won't bite."

"They won't bite but they'll hurt me, emotionally, with their elite all knowing eyes that can see my every weakness."

"Melodramatic much? Don't worry you're with me"

Ron thought about this for a moment "well as long as we're here. What the heck."

They came to the door and were greeted by a butler. This helped further reaffirm Ron's belief that he was out of his element.

The butler led them down a long hallway, into a large area that was filled wall to wall with people who chatted amongst themselves and sipped slowly from champagne glasses.

As Ron looked around he could tell immediately that every guy in the room was wearing some form of colored shirt and khaki combination.

"I guess you were right about the khakis" Kim whispered to him.

"Oh really, I hadn't noticed" he replied.

As he contemplated rushing over to the nearest Gap, a skinny blond in a stylish yet easily assessable black tube top dress, bounded up to them.

"Kim you made it." She stopped when she noticed Ron. She looked him up and down.

_The eyes_

"Oh…..Ron this is one of my classmates Valli Chaney."

"Classmates?" Valli fake pouted "is that all we are, I thought we were good friends."

Ron noticed that the girl was wearing two of the most expensive diamond earrings he had ever seen.

"Of course" Kim smiled politely "oh Valli this is Ron Stoppable."

"Kim" Valli grabbed Kim by the arm as she continued refusing to acknowledge Ron's existence "Dean Roth has been looking for you all night."

"Wait I…"

Valli started to pull Kim away.

"It's ok I'll just wait….. here." Ron watched as Kim was dragged further from him. He took another long look at the partygoers.

_Ok brain this is a party and what do normal people do at parties. _

_They mingle. _

_Exactly_

_Though, normal people usually don't have conversations with their brain._

_Shut up_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Mingle attempt #1**

Ron stood in a small group of four that encircled a young man who was ranting about the merits of his last creative writing professor.

"The man was completely inept yet he had the nerve to call my work sophomoric. He called my work sophomoric..."

Ron jumped in "I guess you wish you had taken him during your freshman year"

They all turned to look at him.

Ron ran his hands along his collar "then you know; you would have seen that as a compliment...sophomoric, because you would have only been a freshman."

They continued to stare.

_Time to move on_

Ron stared off in a random direction "ah so there's the bathroom" he said before walking off.

**Mingle attempt # 4**

Ron approached an older gentleman who looked somewhat familiar to him.

"Excuse me sir, do I know you from somewhere?"

The man puffed up his chest "ah yes I was featured in the latest Artisan Times. That was my dissertation on the effects of postimpressionists on the development of analytical postmodern cubism."

"Ah, of course, of course" Ron nodded "I'm sorry but can you point me in the direction of the bathroom."

**Mingle attempt # 9**

Ron drifted past a group of arguing students and to his surprise, one of them turned to him "Quick who do you think more people have heard of Britinia or Margaret Thatcher?"

"Ah Britinia?" He answered

"Ha I told you!' The student said to the others in his group. He turned back to Ron "Thanks"

"No big, so uh who's Margaret Thatcher?"

The student glared at him with a bemused look on his face "wait are you serious?"

Ron shook his head no and forced out a chuckle before asking for directions to the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As Valli happily skipped from one group of chattering heads to the next, someone grabbed her roughly by the forearm and pulled her into a secluded corner of the room.

"Who the hell?"

She turned to her assailant. It took a second or two before she realized the extremely cute dark haired guy, (who wore a blue button down with black khakis) who had grabbed her was her brother.

She sighed "what's with you now Ken?"

"What's with me?" He licked his lips "What's with you? You told me they had broken up, you said she was single, but guess what; I just saw her walk in here with another guy."

"I'm as shocked as you are" Valli said before clicking her tongue "he's kind of a real downgrade from Nicholas dontcha think?"

"Look I don't really care ok? You're good friends with her right?"

"Well…."

"Again I don't care, just find out how serious the relationship is, alright"

Valli groaned "but you're going to break them up anyway like you do with all the others. Why should I even bother?"

He glanced over his shoulders "I'd like to know how much work I've got to put into this and how hard I've got to crush this guy ok? Now go."

As his sister stomped off, muttering angrily like an enraged six year. Ken found part of himself hoping that things between Kim Possible and the blond guy were serious. It would make things harder but also a lot more interesting. He always relished a challenge

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't belong here" Ron groaned.

"Me neither"

Ron turned toward the voice and came face to face with the only other person who didn't blend in with the crowd. Aside from the fact that he was obviously gay the guy had on a black turtle neck and jeans, pretty tight jeans.

The guy looked at the partygoers as if he couldn't believe how dull the party was. Then his eyes fell back on Ron. "Hey you're the guy who walked in with Kim Possible."

"Uh yeah"

"You're the talk of the party."

"What?" Ron swiveled his head back and forth, everyone seemed to be more concerned with their own affairs, no one even gave him a second glimpse "are you sure?"

"Trust me. I'm Brian by the way" They shook hands "Oh and if you're looking for Kim there she is."

Brain pointed the way, and Ron looked in that direction. He spotted her on the other side of the room yakking it up with an older man who Ron could only assume was the dean. He continued to stare as she talked. She really was pretty.

It was than; after somehow sensing she was being stared at; that she noticed him. Her eyes flickered towards him and he jerked his head away.

"That was smooth." Brain said

"What?"

"Jerking you head away like that is like the universal message for 'yes I was staring at you, when you weren't looking'."

Ron gulped "Do you think she noticed that?

"Stevie Wonder would have noticed that hun"

_Crap_

A smile suddenly came to Brian's face "oh things just got more interesting, lookie who just walked in. The Ex"

_Ex? Nicholas _

Ron peered towards the entrance just in time to see Nicholas walk into the room.

"Don't tell me he's not gorgeous."

"Well I guess" Ron responded "if you're into that perfect features type look."

_Groan_

Brian noticed the extra slump in Ron's shoulders and patted him on the back "don't worry, he's gorgeous yes, but he's such an unbearable bore. Nothing remotely interesting about the man."

"Really, it's hard to image that he would have been with Kim for so long then."

"Ah my friend apparently you are unaware of the virtues of shallowness." A lull "You like her don't you?" Brain asked abruptly

"What? I don't like….we're just friends"

"Really?"

"Yea"

Brian looked down at his finger tips "Well you're either lying or you're gay."

"What?" Ron said momentarily startled "Ah what do you know?"

"Trust me hun a woman always knows" Brian laughed "I'm surprised though, I thought she was the type to go after the alpha males. "

"I guess maybe she thought a beta male would be a nice change of pace" Ron ran his hands across his face "seriously look I acknowledge that she's a really, really, really, good looking girl...

"But you're not attracted to women."

"I AM, I so am, no one is more attracted to women than I am."

"That's a bold statement. Don't you work at the Mendy's downtown."

Ron mini gasped "I….I guess you've shopped there before"

"Oh frequently and I never forget a face."

Ron took in a breath "Alright, I know the reputation that the Mendy's staff has. But I'm totally, completely, into women."

"Oh I could tell that just by the way you stare at Kimberly."

"Yes thank you," Ron agreed "that's all I've been trying to say…wait what?"

Brain laughed again "if it makes you feel better, just from these few minutes I can tell you're definitely a step up from Nicholas."

"Oh really" Ron said cheerfully

"Not in the looks department though."

"Oh, really" Ron said dismayed

"But as they say, looks don't mean everything. I'm sure 'Ms I can do anything' knows that now'."

"Ms. I can do anything?"

"That's her motto; she says it all the time. Though one wonders if she believes her own hype"

Ron briefly glanced back at Kim "What do you mean?" He inquired.

"Don't get me wrong the girl's really talented; she's also very ambitious and competitive in everything she does. People like that, its make or beak for them, succeed or fail, no in between. They'll take on all challenges and they can find themselves in over their head, especially since they take everything on, alone." Brian ran his forefinger along the rim of his champagne glass "So when the pressure is on they need something to help get by, hence that's why I believe that 'I can do anything' can be interpreted as an emotional clutch maybe even a smidge of self delusional"

Ron blinked back at Brian.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm a psych major. I guess I haven't learned yet to keep my thoughts to myself."

"I can do anything….self delusional…huh…" Ron paused "I've got nothing to base this on, but I feel that Kim isn't the type of person to say something she doesn't think is true. When she says 'I can do anything', she probably really believes it. I'm no psych major but I don't think you can just will yourself to believe something you know is false."

"Ooooo how philosophical" Brian cooed "you're smarter than you look"

"Uh thanks. Besides if anyone can say 'I can do anything' and back it up, it's her. Trust me I've seen her in action."

"Oh that sounds scandalous."

Ron shook his head vigorously "no, that's not what I meant" he said quickly "she saved my life"

"Interesting" Brian took a sip of champagne "I like you uh…"

"Ron."

"Ron, you're different, the only one here besides me not wearing khakis, stomping about this place like one of the Stepford Wives, that's a huge plus in my book. But you've spent enough time in my glorious company. Go on man, go claim your woman."

"It's not like that." Ron muttered "besides….you should have seen me out there among her….your peers. It was a disaster of Hindenburg proportions; all I was waiting for was for someone to shout 'oh the humanity'."

Ken chortled "how ironic that the only seemingly genuine person here feels like an outcast"

_Genuine…hmmmm…..Wait how could I forget? Jake gave me notes on how to fake my way through this._

"Uh excuse me I've got to go…..bathroom."

"No worries, oh and good luck" Brian called out to Ron as he sprinted away.

Brian sighed "the good ones are always taken or straight."

"Hey!"

Brian almost jumped out of his clothes when Valli suddenly appeared beside him.

"What were you two talking about?"

He placed his hand on his chest and inhaled "pardon?"

"You and the blond guy what were you talking about? Did he talk about Kim? Are they really an item?"

Brian's eyebrow furrowed "Oh I see your brother is looking for more bragging rights."

"That's none of your business"

"Then my conversations are none of your business as well"

Valli scowled "Listen you little fruit cup; I don't care how popular you are around here. My brother and I will run you out of this school if you don't play nice."

"Ah Valli I see you've mastered the mystical art of tact."

"Answer the question; does my brother have to worry about this guy?"

Brain smiled and shook his head "no they're just friends."

"How do you know?"

"He works at Mendy's"

"Aren't the guys who work at Mendy's…" Vailli's face lit up "you mean he's…'

"Like a three dollar bill. But that's just between us three ok" Brian added.

"Ok, that's good then, Ken won't have to rush things."

"Tell him to take his time. You've got to go slow with a girl like Kim Possible."

"Right" Valli agreed "ok enjoy the rest of the party."

"Of course" Brian somehow managed to smile sweetly as Valli strolled away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Leaning against a bathroom stall Ron quickly ran through the note cards Jake had written for him.

"OK body language……when spinning a web of high grade bull it's crucial to always keep eye contact. You can get away with almost anything if you appear confident, and stand up straight."

Ron groaned "if I knew how to appear confident, I wouldn't be who am I today."

He continued "…..of course there is such a thing as too much eye contact. Stare too long and people will think you're a murderer.""

_Hmmm got to remember this one _

He flipped through the cards, which were classified into different sections, movies, art, politics….."If people are talking about something you should know like current politics, just keep your mouth shut and look slightly disinterested. That way people will think that the topic is too humdrum for you or you just don't want to get involved."

Ron kissed the note card "Jake I love you"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So what do you think? I just brought this piece, and I'd like your opinion on it"

Dean Roth led Kim and another student towards a large painting on his wall. Kim looked at the large white canvas that contained giant red blobs on each of the four corners, and a yellowish stain in the middle.

"Isn't it exquisite?"

"Um" _What am I looking at?_ "It's…….….Ron?"

She was slightly surprised to see Ron stroll up beside her, his hands ran along the bottom of his chin.

"Dean Roth this is my friend Ron…"

Ron ignored her and walked up close to the painting "Hm!" He looked up and down the canvas. He nodded "the brushwork is brave"

_How can brushwork be brave?_ Kim thought

She glanced over at Dean Roth who seemed to be pleased. "I see you have an eye for art"

"Well I'm no expert, but I do enjoy the occasional Ethan Shah piece……

Kim noticed Ron look down and tug at his sleeve. For a brief second she thought she caught a glimpse of an index card tucked in there.

"The uh composition is playful and there is a brilliant stroke of negative light. It's what the painter hasn't painted that really captures your attention"

_What?_

Dean Roth stared at the painting for a moment "yes, yes I agree wholeheartedly. My boy, you have made me see this painting in a whole new light." Dean Roth glanced sideways and his eyes locked with a few other students. "Would you excuse me for a moment?"

"Go right ahead." Ron smiled to himself as the dean walked away. _Ha he totally brought it. _He turned to Kim to see how impressed she was, only to find out that she wasn't there.

"Hey wha.."

"You really impressed the dean there."

Ron turned towards the other student who had been part of Kim and Dean's Roth little group.

"Uh"

"Have you taken Professor O Leary's Art History class?"

Ron looked past the student and saw Kim standing near a refreshment table.

"Uh I don't go to this school."

"Really? Where do you go?"

He looked over the student's shoulders again. Kim was taking a sip from a plastic cup when Nicholas suddenly came into view "I go to Q."

"Q?"

"City University of Upperton…..C.U.U"

"Oh?"

Ron looked away from Kim just long enough to see the condescending laughter in the student's eyes "Well it was the only school that had my major."

"Your, major?"

Nicholas crept closer to Kim like a predator on the plains. "Ah yes, I major in Human Capital management." Ron had been prepared for this question.

The student looked bewildered "Human capital management?"

It was the perfect major for Ron it sounded way more impressive than "Business Major" and it was so vague because well it didn't exist.

"Yes it's the latest thing in the business world, really cutting edge stuff."

The student nodded "I think I read about it in the latest issue of Entrepreneur monthly."

_Of course you have_

Ron eyed Nicholas; he was now standing next to Kim, he leaned in to say something.

"Well do you find that the courses adequately prepare you for today's workforce?"

Kim and Nicholas started talking, Ron couldn't believe it, they were talking while he was stuck here feeding manure to this nosy bore!

"Well of course it does, it teaches…." He paused to think of more lies "About effective management in a world a of shifting paradigms, where you must adapt by incentivizing your deliverables, and synergizing your uh core competencies."

"Wow sounds interesting."

"Yes, yes it does, because it is" He peeked back at Kim just in time to see her smile politely, pick her cup off the table, and splash it's contents in Nicholas' face before storming out of the room.

"Whoa, you'll have to excuse me! Uh let's do lunch or something" Ron brushed past the student and as he made his way towards the exit Nicholas grabbed him by the arm.

"Word of warning, she's not worth your time, she's nuts. She'll chew you up and spit you out." He told Ron as fruit punch dripped off his handsome face

"I gotta tell you, I think I'll take my chances on this."

Nicholas looked Ron over "you know it took me months to get her to go out with me. What kind of hell did she put you through?"

"Actually, she asked _me_ out."

Technically she did ask him, though they weren't dating. But Ron didn't mind basking in the surprise on Nicholas' face. "Well see ya."

"I'll catch you on the _rebound_ then" Nicholas retorted.

"Yea I'd hate to end this uh great….. _dang what's that word, it was a good one it started with r…..repart…repore….__repertoire_…repertoire we've got going on, but I tend to start fires when I get caught in conversations with jerks. And if I don't get moving soon I might light this place up like a Christmas tree."

With that Ron spun on his heels and walked out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That stupid, idiot, that, that ooooo" Kim fumed as she paced back and forth in front of Dean Roth's house.

"I need him" she snorted "please, I so do not need him or anyone else for that matter." She stopped and reviewed the last few minutes of the party.

"'He's good for me, I need him!' Oh he's got some b…."

"Yo KP"

_KP? _Her head snapped towards the voice

"Good, you're still here" Ron told her.

"Not for long, in a few seconds I'll be back in that idiot's face!" She growled. She was at her boiling point; her anger had hit its peak. She was going to go back in there and slug Nicholas right on the nose

"Uh-huh, you're not going to do anything assault-_ish_ are you?"

"I think I forgot something inside."

"What did you forget?"

"I forgot to knock someone out."

She started back up the steps of the house when suddenly she felt something hold her back. She looked over her shoulders and finally noticed that Ron had gently taken a hold of her wrist.

"Yeahhhhh that might not be such a good idea. Besides that fruit punch bath you just gave him in front of his friends was probably more than enough humiliation."

Kim shoulders heaved as she took in a deep breath "But I've been meaning to punch him for awhile."

Ron chuckled softly "Ok he did ya wrong that's a given. But you're a better person than that right? Turn the other cheek."

She sighed "it might be a little too late for that after what just happened"

"Oh right the juice…..well how about we try 'don't kick em while they're down'"

"We can try that" she walked back down the steps "mmmm I just want to curse his name from the highest roof top."

"Why? No one would hear you from up there"

Kim stared at him; Ron in turn just smiled innocently and shrugged. She groaned and rolled her eyes, yet she discovered that she was no longer angry. The overpowering rage she was feeling a second ago, had receded rather quickly.

She looked down at her hand and they both realized he still had a hold of her. Surprisingly she found it slightly amusing when he dropped her hand as if it was scalding hot.

"Let's bail." She told him

"I could have sworn we had already done that."

"Let's get out of the walkway then. There's another party we can go to." They started to walk towards the front gate. "Listen I'm sorry about ditching you with the dean back there but I didn't know what to say about that painting."

"What you didn't like it?"

"Hardly, I thought it was kind of ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? How can it be ridiculous? It's art!" Ron said incredulously.

"I know its art. But what did it mean? What was the point? It looked like someone just put on a blind fold and tossed some paint in the direction of a canvas."

"So you weren't digging that painting?"

"Not at all, I didn't care about half the stuff that was going on in there" she observed the pained expression on his face "but I was surprised by how much you knew about the uh painting."

"Don't put too much stock in that" Ron reached into sleeve "I had no idea what the heck I was talking about."

"What?"

"It was all these cards" he handed them to her. "I guess it was all a waste" he replied dejectedly.

"But you knew the painters name."

"I read the little information on the tiny card on the frame before anyone noticed."

"How did you sneak these cards around?"

"I had a tiny obsession with magic tricks when I was little. I had allot of hobbies back then, not many friends but allot of hobbies"

She skimmed through the cards "why did you need these?"

"I needed them so I didn't look like a fool in front of your brainy hip friends. So I could impress yo…..uh the party guests."

Kim reflected a bit on this new revelation. _All this?_

She handed him back the note cards "hey I don't care about any of that stuff. You can just be yourself around me."

"Really?"

"Really. It's not like I'm totally shallow or anything."

Ron said nothing

She stopped in her tracks "what does that mean?"

Ron stopped and turned to face her "I didn't say anything."

"Exactly!" She saw his eyes dart back and forth between her and the dean's house and something clicked.

"I didn't go out with him just because of his looks."

"I didn't say anything."

"Yea he was…is good looking, but he was also smart and um…athletic and political."

Ron put his hands up to his chest as if to surrender "You're preaching to the choir, as was just about to fall in love with him myself."

Kim marched past him. Ron then quickly followed after her "Kim I'm sorry if I came off….."

"But" she interrupted "he was also incredibly boring, conceited and at times really insensitive." She paused "And I guess I knew that since the third date."

Ron wisely kept his mouth shut.

"Fine" Kim said to herself after a moments silence "Ok I may be a little shallow, I'm big enough to admit that."

"Ok you're shallow

"A may be a little shallow" she corrected

"You may be a little shallow and I lie and show off my imaginary life to strangers."

She grinned "we've got some issues for sure."

The atmosphere lightened, Ron decided to change subjects "hey did you run into the guy who wanted to start a letter writing club?"

She scoffed "who writes letters anymore. What are we on the front lines of the Civil War?"

Ron straightened up and in a monotone voice he said "Dearest Wife I take my pen in hand to write you a few lines. I promise to write more as soon as our regiment is organized. General Sherman says we march on Atlanta in the morn."

She laughed "that sounds exactly like the voice overs in those documentaries."

"You won't catch me writing a letter. Only Egyptians can read my hand writing, sometimes when I don't know how to spell something I just draw it."

"Sure" she rolled her eyes again "Hey what about the guy who was bragging about training rabbits?" She asked.

Ron nodded "Yea what was that about?"

"I know, what do you train rabbits to do, hide eggs?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking" he chortled.

They giggled for awhile longer

"How did you think up KP?" She asked abruptly

"KP?"

"You called me that earlier"

"When?"

"A few minutes ago"

He shook his head "No I didn't."

"You so did."

"Nah"

"I clearly heard you say "Yo KP"

He ran his fingers through his hair "did I?"

"Yep"

"Maybe it's a little too soon for the nicknames. Should I stop saying it?"

Kim surprised even herself when she latched onto his arm "No it's fine. I kind of like it" She found it comforting, but then again, amazingly enough she felt very comfortable around him overall.

"Oh….ok" was all he managed to say.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Everybody was touching.

They arrived at Monique's party and found that it was very loud and packed from wall to wall. No one was dancing as much as they were rubbing….no grinding together. Dozens of bodies were entwined; with limbs flaying madly about as if some kind of sensual trance had taken over all the party guests.

With all the hard grinding and heat being generated Kim thought that it was a good thing that there wasn't any dry wood on the ground.

Ron stared at the crowd in awe. "Someone call Patrick Swayze cuz there's some serious dirty dancing going on here."

"Tell me about it."

"So" Ron stretched out his body "you want to dance?"

Kim's eyebrow arched

"That didn't come out as funny as my brain told me it would."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Some night we bailed on two parties."

"No prob" Ron replied "I didn't get enough sleep last night anyway so I'm pretty tired."

Half an hour after ditching Dean Roth's party Ron and Kim found themselves in front of Kim's off campus brownstone apartment building.

"So you want to come in?" Kim asked casually as she searched for her keys.

If words could knock someone out, Ron would have went down for a ten count

"What?"

"I said do you want to come in."

Seventy seconds and around thirty blinks later he said "no, yes….maybe, ok."

His body as stiff and rigid as a statue encased in cement, he quietly followed her into the house.

"Don't mind the mes---" she stopped in her tracks "Why are my lights on…..oh no!"

"Yo----"

----sis"

Kim stepped back in horror when, as if taken from a scene out of The Shining two identical figures popped out of her living room and into the main hallway.

"Tweebs! What are you doing here?"

Jim sighed "There was a problem at school---

----incident at the science lab." Tim added "They're talking suspension."

"Mom's pissed" Jim told them "So uh we decided to visit our sis."

"Until things calm down" Tim finished.

Jim looked up at Ron "who's this?"

"And why is he coming in at this time of night?" Tim asked leaving Kim to wonder if he was channeling her father.

Ron mumbled something inaudible.

"It's not what it looks like. Tweebs this is my friend Ron. Ron these are the tweebs."

"Yo, Tim….Jim…Hiya"

Jim stared suspiciously at Ron "Friend huh? You weren't expecting anything from our sister tonight were you?"

Ron ran his hands nervously together "maybe a cup of coffee."

Jim's face contorted in an exaggerated look of shock and moral outrage "Coffee? That sounds like a euphemism for intercourse to me Tim'

"Def" Tim replied "are you trying to get to _know_ our sister Ron, and I mean _know_ like in the biblical sense?"

Ron did a quick check of an imaginary watch on his wrist "Right I think it's time for me to go." He stumbled backwards into the door.

"Ron you don't…" Kim started

"No, no it's ok" he was already halfway out the door "I've got to wake up early tomorrow….I'll call you, sometime in the future."

He quickly slammed the door shut.

"Got rid of him in record time. Hicka bikka boo----

---Hoo Sha!"

Kim glowered at her brothers.

"What?! We were protecting your virtue!" Tim declared.

"Your honor was at stake" Jim announced.

They made a move to escape but Kim grabbed both of them by the back of the collars. "Where do you think you're going? The three of us are going to have a long talk about adult privacy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So?" Jake asked the second Ron stepped foot inside their apartment.

Ron closed the doors behind him "So what?"

"The party man, the party."

"Oh the party, yea that went along fine. Your cards were a great help too but it turns out I didn't really need them."

"Great, so what happened after the party?"

"Look I'm a gentleman I don't…"

"Nothing happened huh" Jake interjected, as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Something might have happened, but then her brothers, and well, I don't……no nothing was or ever will be happening."

"You've landed in no man's land haven't you? You parachuted yourself right into the friend zone haven't you?"

"Look I've come to realize, on my way home, that she's not my type."

"What are you talking about? Who are you to make that decision?" Jake replied

"See the thing is 'out of my league' is a type of type. And clearly that's not my type."

Jake opened his arms out wide "you make no sense."

"Listen, I don't mind having her as a friend. She's cool. It could be fun, to have a gal pal, a female chum, a Señorita amigo. You can always use new friends."

Jake shook his head "here's my advice just be pathetic, because you're going to do that anyway."

"I don't have to stand here and take this….I'm." He remembered how he felt in between the time Kim had asked "Do you want to come in?" and when he was unpleasantly surprised by the twins "I'm going to take a series of cold, cold showers."

Five minutes later he stepped under the shower and let out a deep sigh. His brain set on self delusional and his memory repression on high, he replayed the night's events in his mind.

"_I'll catch you on the rebound then" Nicholas retorted._

"_Yea I'd hate to end this great repertoire we've got going on, but I tend to start fires when I get caught in conversations with jerks. And if I don't get moving soon I might light this place up like a Christmas tree."_

"_Why you son of a…" Nicholas swung at him. _

_The crowd gasped loudly as Ron deflected the attack right before he planted his elbow into Nicholas' midsection. Ron then followed that up with a massive uppercut that knocked Nicholas high upwards and backwards into the air. Nicholas performed three successive back flips before dropping onto a table filled with full champagne glasses. _

"_I guess the drinks are on him" Ron blurted, a sardonic grin on his face._

_Kim skipped into the room "Ron, what's going on?"_

"_Craziest thing happened; he slipped right onto my fist and knocked himself out." _

_She looked at Nicholas' prone body "you didn't have to do that" she said smiling "but it is sweet."_

_He pointed at her "Check it mamacita, let's drop out of here like a rollercoaster. We can go chill back at my place."_

_She bit her lip "I don't know" she replied coyly_

"_The real party's over there, it's got everything you might need, music, drinks, and rapturous delight." _

_There was a mischievous glimmer in her eye "ok that sounds like fun." _

"_Cool' he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and led her to the exit "don't worry I won't bite, unless you want me too."_

"Ah" Ron let the water ripple over his face. _Thank you brain_

Whenever he needed a break from reality, Ron's brain; a creative editor, could conveniently misremember certain events when asked to do so.

He replayed it again this time giving himself a suave French accent.

It may have gotten him into a few jams over his lifetime but he would never say that his brain wasn't wonderfully loyal.

* * *

A/N I really liked this chapter and I think it's one of the better ones in this story. 

Ok did I do better with Kim this time or am I still flying blind.

There will be more Tweeb/Ron interactions in the next chapter (and possibly more of the Possibles) so you can look forward to that……..or not

Oh we've got a rival in love/antagonist now. You didn't think I would make this easy did you? (But do not fear I still pledge to keep the angst to a minimum)

A few people have asked for a new update to my other story Used to be Hero. Don't worry I'm working on it, but it's not that easy for me to get back in the flow of that story. But it should be one of my next two updates. Along with "I love you Ron Stoppable."


	6. O Brothers, Where Art Thou?

A/N OK Welcome back it's been um a few months unfortunately. But let's look at the positives, we have an update. Yay! I'd also like to say that the premise of this story was created from three movies one of which happened to be a movie called Allot like Love. I'm afraid I'm going have to start to diverge from my initial outline. The thing is if I stay on that path the story will be pretty long. And with all the stories I've got to work out it would make no sense for me to keep this one going when I could basically tell the story in less (quality) chapters. This story should still be longer than About A Ron. So there's still a bit of ways to go and it won't drastically change. I'll still be able to hopefully deliver the romantic comedy goodness.

* * *

Ron awoke to the glare of bright sunlight beating down on him from an open window. His sweat mixed with the chilled breeze of the morning air caused him to shudder involuntarily. 

He crawled out of bed, washed unenthusiastically, slipped on his clothes and then proceeded to drop pellets into Rufus' cage.

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, eh buddy" he said gloomily

He watched as his pet nibbled drowsily at its breakfast.

"I'm glad you're my neighbor." Ron tapped lightly on the cage and then headed out the door

He found his roommate in the kitchen diving face first into a bowl of cereal.

Jake swallowed a mouthful as Ron took a seat beside him at the kitchen table. "You're up early."

Ron drummed his fingers against the table "rough night, bad dreams"

"Sucks"

"I think I might have given up to easily on Zita, maybe I should take another shot y'know. I mean Zita was a hot girl who actually liked _me; _do you how rare that is? That's Buffalo rare."

Jake shoveled some more cereal into his mouth. He savored the crunchy treat for a long time before gulping loudly. "What happened to uh more recent one? Why don't you take a swing at her?"

Ron blinked back at his roommate "um did you just ask me to sprout wings, jump out the window and fly to the Grand Canyon?"

"The Grand Canyon, that's pretty specific."

"With Zita there's a bridge, a broken bridge yes, but a bridge I believe can be repaired."

"Sometimes it's better to just build a new bridge, one completely from scratch, a stronger bridge if you will."

"It would be really foolish of me to try and build a bridge across the Grand Canyon."

"Again with the Grand Canyon?"

Ron smacked his hands against the table "Listen to me. Impulsiveness is not my friend, common sense is."

"But…"

"I've decided that I'm fine with being just friends."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I actually like being her friend. I really do, and this is not just 'Ron in denial' you of all people should know "Ron in denial' when you see him."

"I happen to be on a first name basis with "Ron in denial."

"This is not him, this is sincere Ron."

"Ok I get it" Jake slurped the remaining milk from his bowl and sighed contently "oh by the way she's on her way over."

"Who?"

"The more recent one"

Ron chuckled nervously "what?"

"She called, said it was an emergency and she was in the neighborhood."

"How does she know where I live?"

"I assume you told her"

"K' I did, I remember now, so when did she call?"

Jake shrugged "maybe ten….fifteen minutes ago"

"And you were going to tell me when?"

"When I finished my breakfast"

Ron sighed, leaned back in his chair and gazed up at the ceiling "how can I spin this as justifiable homicide?"

"Hey I can't get anything done until I've finished my breakfast."

Ron was seconds away from pouncing on his so called friend when the down stairs buzzer rang.

"You buzz her up…I got work to do." Ron reached down and dragged a stack of magazines from under the table.

"Hey careful with those I need them to find out what's hot. The business world is all about--"

"All about current trends, I know. But I'm taking your precious magazines anyway." Ron hoisted the stack off the ground and marched towards his room.

He placed a Time magazine on his night stand; he left an Entrepreneur monthly peeking out from underneath his bed just enough for the title to be seen, he left a USA Today on his counter, and the rest were scattered in various places around his room.

"What are you doing?" Jake said from the doorway

"I don't have time to clean up, but I do have time to stage a fantasy world where I seem like a better person than I am."

"Look at you. When was the last time you've panicked like this?"

Ron took a seat at the foot of his bed "I've got to admit I haven't panicked like this in a while."

"You know what this means right?"

Ron exchanged stares with his roommate "and if I did, I'm not saying I do, but if I did why would it matter?"

They heard knocking on the front door

"I'll let her in" Jake told Ron

* * *

"Hello" 

Ron jumped to his feet and embraced Kim. "Hey" he greeted.

"Hey" she returned. Then she strolled past him into the room

With a smile on her face she said "huh you didn't have to clean up for my sake."

"Well unfortunately I had to fire the maid. I suspected she was dipping into my priceless collection of pennies."

"It's so hard to find good help these days" She paced and surveyed the messy room "so this is the domain of Ron Stoppable, it's kind of what I expected."

"OH HO and what is that supposed to mean?"

A mischievous smirk came over her face "I'm just saying this room seems…..Ronnish"

"What exactly is Ronnish?" he said as casually as he could

"I can't define it, but I know it when I see It." she replied. Then she reached down and picked a magazine off the floor

"Right but thing is that---"

"Is this your magazine?"

He cleared his throat "every now and then I like to chill and read about things that interest me."

"So how much of the one hundred ways to please your man have you memorized."

The room lapsed into silence

"Or maybe you're trying to lose thirty pounds in three days," Clearly amused Kim began to skim through the magazine. "Wait I know, you want to get on the fast track to love."

As Kim flipped through the pages, Ron quietly shuffled over to her, gently snatched the magazine out of her hand, tossed it out of his room and slammed the door shut.

"I seriously don't know how that got in here. The truth is I don't even know how to read"

"Hey I was just a few pages away from unlocking the secrets of true love."

Ron waved his hands in the air dismissively "Pffft….You don't need that magazine I can tell you all about love."

She crossed her arms over her chest and arched her eyebrow "oh really? I'm all ears."

He balked under her gaze "I uh…well love…love is love it can't be explained."

Again, she stared at him in silence. Then she said "Huh…you Ron Stoppable are---

"Wise, complex, mysterious……handsome?"

"Uh I was going to say interesting"

He nodded in approval "I can live with interesting. So what brings you to casa de Ron?"

It was just about then that he noticed that she was eying something across the room. Before he could mount a protest she had already made a beeline towards Rufus' cage.

"What's this?"

"That's um…he's uh…"

Kim peered into the cage "your pet?"

"Yeah"

"Is it some kind of gerbil?"

"No actually" he coughed into his fist "he's a naked mole rat."

Her head cocked to one side she gave him a quizzical look "naked mole rat, that is unusual."

"No it's not unusual, it's normal, perfectly normal and American like apple pie and baseball."

"Amp down" she told him. She couldn't help but be slightly taken aback by his reaction and this didn't go unnoticed by Ron.

Shoulders slumped; Ron's gaze fell to the ground "I'm I just…You're totally freaked out right? I know you want to leave; you can leave if you want to. I'll just hang around and do something."

She waved her hand before his down turned face until he lifted his head "Look if I didn't want to be here, I would have already left. Trust me."

He took a moment to study her face "actually I think you would stay for awhile even if everything in this room weirded you out."

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because it's polite and you wouldn't want to be rude"

"Oh is that what you really think?" she challenged

He nodded "that's what I really think."

"You want to know what I think" she pointed at the cage "I think this Molerat is definitely Ronnish."

He let out a sigh that to his surprise was immediately followed up by soft laughter "I'm going to sit down."

"Is that breaking news?"

"I see you've mastered sarcasm" Ron hopped onto his bed "his name by the way is Rufus."

Kim peered back at the cage "Rufus obviously"

"Ok back on topic what are you doing in my neck of the woods?"

"Yes right, the issue at hand. Ron I need a favor, you've only got night classes on Wednesday right?"

He watched as she paced across the room while explaining the predicament. And from what he could gather her brothers had spent most of the week at her house, apparently they didn't plan on leaving until their suspension was over. Surprisingly it wasn't the hellish nightmare that Kim had imagined. In fact at certain points she found that she was having a good time. But there was one drawback; she couldn't leave them in the house alone for too long.

"Why?" he asked.

"You don't know my brothers. If I leave them alone for more than three hours they will get bored. And when they get bored they get destructive."

"They can't be that bad."

She laughed

For a long time.

"Ron I am one hundred percent positive that if I spend the entire day out as planned I will return to a ruined home. I have very important appointments lined up for today, I can't miss them but I can't leave my brothers at home."

"That's pretty rough."

"I know I'm really in a pickle here"

"Right" he replied.

"I'm at wits end"

"Yep"

"I'm caught between a rock and a hard place Ron."

"Damned if you do and damned if you don't"

She threw her hands up in exasperation "What is this, dueling clichés"

"Wait a minute" Ron said as he finally put the pieces into place "You want me to watch over them?"

"Would you?" she asked sweetly

"What about um Monique?"

"She refu….um she's actually really busy today."

"You couldn't find anyone else?"

Her eyes narrowed "Are you implying that I don't have any friends?"

"No, no you have Monique obviously."

"And others, I know allot of people" she muttered,

Ron's hands rose up to his shoulders "I have no doubt you are very, very popular"

"Ok" she ran her own hands up and down her arms "and besides I trust you."

He let the words process in his mind "for reals?"

"For real"

"You sure?" he asked skeptically

She let out a sigh, and lowered her head. A second later she looked up, her face brimming with innocence, her eyes were shinning, and her bottom lip protruded slightly. The puppy-dog pout was set into place

* * *

**10 AM:**

"What was that?" Ron asked as he stepped past her front door.

Kim glanced over her shoulder "what was what?"

"That Jedi mind trick you did to me back there."

"I have no idea what you're talking about" she told him as they walked into her living room.

There they found the twins. Tim clicked away with the television remote as he languished lazily on the couch. Jim sat on the ground before the couch typing away at a silver notebook.

"Hey guys"

The two brother's heads came up at the same time.

"You guy's remember Ron right."

"Yo, Jim, Tim"

"Oh it's the 'just a friend" Tim remarked

"Yes you're right I am your sister's friend."

"So you say" Jim declared

"So you claim" Tim added

"Ok" Ron sighed "this is uncomfortable"

Kim peered down at her wrist watch "oh look at the time I've got a very important appointment to get to." She clapped her hands together "you guys have fun, I'll see you later"

"Wait a minute!" Tim leaped off the couch "This is mom's old gimmick; she used to pull this with Kim. You're trying to unload a baby sitter on us."

"A babysitter? We're like totally fifteen." Jim said.

"Guys, guys you've got it all wrong. Ron's not here to baby-sit, he's here to keep company and to keep my home from burning down."

"Kim come on, you can trust us" Tim pleaded.

"Of course, I totally trust you guys. I also trust Ron. And……...that's why; while I'm gone it's in my best interest to have the house packed with people I trust."

"But…"

Her attention went back to the watch "oh gotta go, so late"

Hurried foot steps

The front door slammed

Silence

Ron turned to the twins "Um yeah"

"Hey, its Ron right…Do you have a cell phone Ron?" Tim asked.

He nodded.

"Can I see it?"

"Sure" Ron fished out his phone and tossed it to Tim, who wordlessly flipped it open before plopping back down on the couch.

Ron stood motionless in the center of the room sucking in the silence.

"I'm sure we're going to have a bon-diggety good time."

"What the heck does bon-diggety mean?" Jim said without bothering to look away from the notebook's screen.

"Uh I believe it's Latin."

"No it's not"

"Yes it is, it means "welcome to a time of happiness…Hail Caesar"

Jim glimpsed briefly at Ron before returning to the keyboard "you're lying, badly"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. I took Latin in my freshman year, aced it."

Ron found that he was genuinely impressed "now I remember, you guys are geniuses right?"

"That's what the schools say."

"So if you don't mind me asking how smart are you guys?"

"You tell us" Tim placed a jumble of wires circuits and plastic onto the coffee table "I just turned your cell phone into a random number generator."

Suddenly the robotic voice that usually guided Ron through his voice mail options loudly announced the number four fives in a row then it fizzled into an irritating high pitched whine before going completely silent

Ron stared down at what was once his cell "that, wasn't random."

"How would you know?" Tim countered.

Stunned, Ron lowered himself into Kim's armchair and mulled over the remark. Eventually he announced "I think my mind has just been blown."

It was at that moment that Tim leaned over and whispered into his brother's ear. Jim pushed the notebook away, climbed up to the couch and returned the action. After that they both sat shoulder to shoulder and stared into Ron's eyes.

"Ok enough banter let's get down to the nitty gritty" Jim said

Ron's eyebrows furrowed "nitty, gritty?"

"Ron Tim and I have a proposition for you."

It dawned on Ron that there were few things in the world more disturbing than having two pairs of identical eyes staring holes into one's body.

"For forty dollars we will allow you to have one hour of access to our sister's underwear drawer. That's twenty for the first hour and an additional ten fifty for each additional half hour after the allotted time."

"Wait a minute, what?" Ron stammered.

"Listen carefully dude. For forty bucks you can rummage through our sister's unmentionables and do whatever you want to them. Whatever you want and we won't say a word."

"Our lips are sealed." Jim made a zipping gesture

"Mmmmff mmmfff mmmff" Tim added.

"What did he say?"

Jim mimed the unzipping of his mouth "he said, deal or no deal?"

Ron replied without hesitation "see the last time I checked I wasn't _that_ desperate or a perv, so I'll have to say no deal."

As Jim kept his eyes on Ron Tim muttered something into his twin's ear. When he was done he watched Ron as his brother performed the same action, and so they went back and forth.

Jim reached for his notebook "Alright you passed the first round, just give me a moment to enter the data and process it."

"Passed, first round, data?"

"Just so you know, we lied" Tim stated. "If you had answered differently we would have been forced to tell Kim that she's dating a creep…."

"Um we're not dating."

"….And that she has bad taste in music. I've been meaning to tell her that for years" Jim affixed.

"So that was some type of test?"

Tim nodded "it was a type of test yes."

"And I was being tested on what exactly?"

"All will be answered when the complete results are processed."

Ron picked himself out of the chair "let's just get something straight your sister and I are not dating."

"Who said you were?"

"You did' he pointed at Tim "you said we were dating."

Tim turned to Jim "did I say anything like that?"

"Nope, it didn't even occur to me until he brought it up."

Tim laughed "sounds like a Freudian slip to me"

"I get it, you guys are playing me. You're playing me right?"

The twins simply shrugged.

"You know what; maybe I should hang out in the kitchen till your sister comes back."

Amusement written all over there faces the tweebs watched as Ron shuffled away.

"Tweaking him is almost as easy as tweaking Kim."

"And just as fun, hicka bicka boo--"

They pounded fists "-----Hoo sha"

* * *

**12:00**

"RON!"

Upon hearing his name called out Ron made a mad dash into the living room "what, is there a fire? Is there something wrong?"

He scanned the room; Jim was now hooking up a video game system to the television and Tim was lounging on the couch with the notebook lying on his chest.

"Actually there's no emergency we're just hungry. However we do appreciate the enthusiasm, for our well being" Jim said.

Ron rubbed his face vigorously with his hands "what?"

"It's lunch time. And I'm thinking you should order us a pizza"

"Ok the problem with that is I don't really have the cash …"

Jim flicked on the game system and hopped onto the couch "you hear that Tim he's broke. Have you ever seen Kim date a broke guy?"

"Not I brother, every guy I've seen Kim with has been well off."

"See that doesn't really bother me because I'm not interested in your sister in that way."

"Great then you've got nothing to worry about" Tim started to type away "let me just put a note here, lack of sufficient funds"

Ron gently massaged his forehead "Alright, I've got some claude on me but…."

"Oh so you're just cheap, make note of that Tim"

"……..You can only have one topping."

"Two or else"

"Or else what?" Ron said incredulously "What are you two going to do to me?"

"How about if we Photoshop a picture of your face on a baboon and then email it to everyone in the state."

"That might be greatest follow up to "or else' that I have ever heard. It would suck having it done to me but I gotta say I would appreciate its brilliance

The twins smiled "we try our best."

Ron closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. When he reopened them he was staring directly at the television. The intro movie of Jim's video game was being displayed on the screen.

"I have a proposition for you guys, how about if we play a little of this…." He pretended to squint to see the screen "…Street Kombat 4 and if I can beat you guys, we'll agree to only one topping. If you win you get two."

"Have you ever played this game before?" Jim inquired.

"I swear I've never played this particular game before."

"It's a deal, Tim scoot down" They made room for Ron on the couch and handed him a game controller.

"I wish somebody was recording this. The world may never see ownage like this again" Jim gloated.

**12:05**

"What happened?" Jim cried

"Oh did you miss all that?" Ron grinned triumphantly "you see what happened was I purposely let my life bar go down below twenty percent; you know just to give you some false hope. Then I parried your super attack, I countered all your strikes, and then I hit you with an endless stream of rapid fire combos."

"I thought you said you never played this game before"

"I haven't, but I mastered Street Kombat 1, 2, and 3 and sadly these games don't really change that much over the years."

"I'm up next" Tim proclaimed "Jim may have underestimated you but I've seen your moves, I've seen your style. You can't win."

"Be prepared dude because I'm going to put all my strength, all my power, and all my love into this fight. Everything I've got is coming at you right now."

Tim's eyes narrowed as he stared at Ron "I must break you."

"Bring it then"

**12:10**

"I can't believe I only got three hits in."

It's….it's inconceivable" Jim lamented.

"Fellas, fellas" Ron crowed "let me explain something. When you guys were learning to walk, I was playing these kinds of games. In my teenage years I had nothing to do with most of my time except play video games. That makes me a battle hardened veteran. The difference here is not overall talent but experience."

Tim slammed his fists against the carpeted floor "one more round" he roared.

Ron picked up on the dash of excitement in his voice "Never been pushed this far eh?"

"I will not back down from this challenge"

"Ah youth, wrap your genius minds around this one _tweebs_. I'll beat you guys nine times out of eight. That means I'll beat you more times than we actually played. My skills transcend space, time and logic."

"No more smack talk only action" the twins said in unison.

**1:30 **

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jim cried.

"We couldn't win a single round even with our best characters! His technique is impenetrable" Tim moaned aloud.

Jim tossed his controller onto the ground "The controller is not working properly, the A.I is corrupted, there's a glare coming off the TV that's blinding me."

Ron made a sympathetic sound _Tsk_ _Tsk_ "Maybe you're just bad"

Jim drew in a breath and chuckled softly before leaping at Ron and tackling him to the ground.

"Dogpile!" Without giving it a second thought Tim joined the fray.

**1:43**

Gasping for air, sweat dripping from their foreheads, Ron and the twins lay sprawled along the living room floor.

"That was kind of awesome" Tim laughed

"Which one of you guys put me in that wrestling hold?"

Jim raised his hand "that was me."

"That was classic stuff; I didn't know you guys liked wrestling."

"Who doesn't?" Tim told him.

Jim clucked "Kim doesn't. I think you're forgetting that she doesn't like allot of cool things

Ron sat up "hey I'm not surprised. Compared to guys you won't find that many female wrestling fans in the world. That's just how it is."

"Sometimes I think girls use a different part of the brain then we do" Jim remarked.

"Yeah like how most guys can only see primary colors. I mean you show me purple and I see purple. You show a girl purple and she sees Royal Fuchsia."

They burst into laughter.

"Your sister is different I think. She might say she's a basic average girl, but she, she's something else…" Ron's words trailed off.

"Maybe" Jim said

"But really most girls are downright strange" Tim said.

"They're yucky" Jim giggled

"And they all have cooties" Ron continued. Then he sighed and gazed off into space "but man there is literally nothing on this planet as gorgeous as a woman. So soft…And they come in so many different shapes and sizes that you just wish you could….." he stopped when he noticed the stares.

"Wow I really went off on a tangent there. Wasn't I supposed to be ordering a pizza?"

"One topping right? Make it pepperoni" Jim said.

Ron clambered to his feet "I think we might be able to spring for pepperoni _and_ mushrooms."

Tim and Jim exchanged glances as Ron went in search of the phone.

"New data" Tim muttered under his breath.

"Most definitely let's get on it."

* * *

Kim slapped her phone shut and pocketed her cell phone "Ron would call me if my house was on fire right?" 

Monique shook her head "Kim you need to learn to stop worrying about your own problems and start worrying about celebrities."

She shoved a magazine under Kim's nose "look at Linzah, sources say she is two pukes away from perfection."

Kim gently pushed the magazine away and took a sip of coffee from a small plastic cup "I also feel bad about dumping them on Ron. You never know what you're going to get with the tweebs sometimes they're sweet and other times they're complete nightmares."

She took another sip "it's not like I don't have other things to worry about."

"Yes stalking a professor is worrisome."

"Stalking?"

"How else would you explain why we've been standing out here for the past thirty minutes?"

"Personally I would call it an example in perseverance and drive."

Monique closed her eyes "I can see the end result now Kimberly McBeal, strutting down the streets in a pair of Manolo Blahniks, a latte in one hand and a leather briefcase bursting with case notes in the other."

"You mock?"

"Hardly, I approve wholeheartedly. You've got passion; passion in any form is a wonderful thing. And speaking of passion, recently there has been an influx of potential suitors who have approached me on your behalf."

"Approached you?"

"I have had two inquires about your status this weekend. One happens to be from Neil Parker."

"They guy with the wide rimmed glasses and the pretentious pony tails?"

"Ok we'll scratch that name off the list, next one John Freeman"

Kim groaned

"What? John's a pretty good looking guy."

"Yea but he's so boring, we were in the same public speaking class last semester and every time he gave a report, he put half the class to sleep."

Monique began thumbing through her magazine. "Fair enough I'll let the boys know, with all the politeness in the world of course, that their applications have been rejected."

Kim drained the rest of her coffee "Monique why did they approach you about my weekend plans instead of coming to me directly."

"Did you want them to approach you?"

Kim tossed the plastic cup into a nearby trash bin "no but still…"

Monique averted her gaze "maybe some guys are afraid of you?"

"Afraid of me? You're kidding" Kim said with a look of bewilderment

"Allot of me are afraid of powerful, successful women…plus" she placed a hand on Kim's shoulder "since you broke up with Nicholas the people in his circles have been playing a game called aspiring female students or frigid…well it rhymes with witches."

Kim's hands clenched in tight fists at her sides "go on"

"Well girl some of those jerks are placing you on the B side."

"I should have hit him when I had the chance" Kim seethed.

Abruptly her train of murderous thoughts was derailed when an older gentleman in a brown suit exited the building they had been staking out.

"I have no time to waste on some stupid list" Kim waved her hands in the air enthusiastically "Professor Albert, Professor Albert"

"Ah Miss Possible" the Professor announced as Kim rushed towards him "I've been wondering why you haven't chosen a suitable partner for the team project."

Kim stopped in her tracks "oh about that, I don't need any extra help Professor."

"What's that?"

"I'm saying I don't need a partner I can do it on my own. In fact I've already completed most of the assignment on my own."

The Professor gave her a curious stare "that is highly unusual."

"But very possible"

"Possibly a bit arrogant?" he said slyly

"No sir not arrogance, only confidence."

"Kimberly you are a very ambitious individual. But I worry about the pressure that you seem to be putting on yourself. From what I hear from the other Professors you have a very aggressive schedule."

Kim's smile ran from ear to ear "I appreciate your concerns professor. But I want to be the best I can be sir. I won't be the best if I can't overcome these challenges alone."

"Is that so?"

"It is not my intention to boast but I feel…no I know that I can do anything."

Albert nodded "very well. If you're not here to discuss the team assignment, why are you here?"

"Sir I was wondering if you've come to a decision on which of your students will be selected to study aboard this summer."

"I have not."

"I would hope that you keep me in mind during the selection process. I know if I was selected I would take full advantage of the opportunity afforded me."

"I'll be sure to keep that especially in mind, Miss Possible"

"Thank you sir" Kim turned on her heels and walked back to where Monique was waiting.

"How did it go?" Monique asked.

"One word…..spankin'" Kim told her gleefully.

Their faces masked with worry, Ron and the tweebs looked down upon the broken stereo. A loud gulp could be heard coming from each of them.

Ron grabbed a handful of hair "how did this happen?"

"I think it happened when we tried to do a double German suplex on you."

Ron chuckled "oh yeah that was pretty cool."

"Obviously that was cool" Tim remarked "but what we must focus on now is which one of us will sacrifice himself to Kim so the other two can get away. I vote Ron."

"It was an accident maybe she'll understand."

Tim and Jim stared at Ron as if he had gone mad.

"Jim and I know better. This will make Kim angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry."

"Actually I've seen Kim angry" Ron paused for a moment "and you're right we're doomed."

"Don't panic" Jim said emphatically "Tim and I can rebuild it; nay we can make it better than it was before."

Ron pointed to himself "I'll supervise and by supervise I mean watch from a distance."

* * *

**3:15**

As he watched quietly, Tim and Jim went to work on the damaged stereo using tools and electrical equipment that the twins, for some odd reason; carried with them wherever they went.

"Hey you guys want to hear a joke?"

Jim lifted a speaker over his head and inspected it "shoot"

"What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?

"What?"

"A cereal killer"

Ron chuckled to himself as the twins groaned.

**3:23 **

"I'm not saying I would embrace the dark powers of the Universe. But I have thought about it." Ron snatched three bottles of soda from the kitchen and made his way back to the living room.

He handed two of the bottles to the twins.

"Imagine driving along the highway with the theme to Rosemary's baby blasting from your radio. You could flip cars over with a flick of your wrist, turn people to stone with you eyes, summon brimstone down from the sky to smite your enemies. And best of all you get to have a long, black flowing leather cape that for some reason moves in slow motion in the wind."

Jim took a swig of soda "that does sound pretty cool."

"That's not just cool it's badical beyond belief. You'd have it all, money, power---"

Tim closed his eyes and blurted "hot, naked sex in palaces built in my honor"

Ron's eyes went wide "wow those hormones are something else aren't they? I had almost forgotten what it was like to be fifteen."

Jim punched his brother on the shoulder "idiot, you said naked sex, that's totally redundant. You have to be naked to have sex. What kind of sex can you have when you're not naked?"

He then looked to Ron as if awaiting confirmation.

"Well um…there is…..maybe you guys should get back to work."

**3:37 **

"You're the geniuses what do you guys think?"

Tim ran his hands under his chin "I don't know, sometimes I imagine that death is like slowly falling backwards into a black hole"

Ron shuddered violently "k' now I know I'm not getting any sleep tonight"

**3:40**

Ron looked on as Jim and Tim removed the cover of the chassis.

"I wonder if this is going to void the warranty."

The twins ignored him and continued working.

**3:42 **

Lying down beside the back of the couch Ron whistled softly to the ceiling "you know if ants were the size of turkeys. We'd all be in chains."

Tim stopped combing through a jumble of wires and glanced at his brother

"What?" They said simultaneously

**3:51 **

His head lowered Ron released a mournful sigh "before you know it I was looking out the window, staring at a full moon singing "Somewhere Out There" and then my aunt walked into the room. Our relationship has never been the same since."

Tim quickly screwed in the back panel of the stereo before discreetly ducking behind it. "Dude he's got issues, he been talking for almost ten minutes. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen."

Jim joined him behind the panel "You're right it is pretty awesome. We've got to remember to add that to our database."

**4:30**

"Dancing? I'm not doing any dancing."

Ron shrugged "the girl's in a dance class right? You can join the class and try to get close to her, maybe even impress her with a few moves"

He jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen "what about your brother? Does he have a crush on the same girl?"

'What, you think just because we're twins we have the same tastes in girls?"

"Sure" Ron said. "You're basically clones of each other right?"

Jim rolled his eyes "Tim's kind of a chubby chaser."

"Hey I heard that! Just because I like healthy looking girls---"

Jim cut his brother off "yeah, yeah I know." He turned his attention back to Ron "so dancing huh?"

"Listen I know you're skeptical. I know I'd be skeptical too. Just look at me, girls aren't exactly lining up the block to be with the Ronster"

"That's exactly what I was thinking."

"Ok that hurt me, but I'm going to move past the pain and explain that though it may have been a once in a lifetime deal I at one point had a girlfriend. And she was out of me _league_ in the looks department. The thing you need to understand is me getting her might have arguably been a miracle but me keeping her for three years took skill….After the first date it was all skill."

Jim's interest was now piqued "go on"

"I've done the research" he said "most of the time you don't even need to be yourself."

"What do you mean?"

Ron shook his head "ok scratch that last thing."

He put his hands up to eye level "you see these hands, foot massages and body rubs" he tapped his mouth with his forefinger "you see this mouth, compliments whenever possible. What I'm saying is I took the time to figure out what it took to make my ex happy."

"Didn't she break up with you?"

"Not the point….The point _is_ she liked dancing so I took dance classes. I also learned the right compliments. As the relationship advanced then came the foot massages, flowers, cunningllllllll listening. Yes you need listening skills I once watched the entire Fearless Ferret Director's cut as my ex girlfriend talked about her day. I picked up on every word."

"But a dance class? I'll be the only guy there."

"Even better no competition. Look at it this way you're going to the class to get a girl to notice you. Name one thing in the world manlier than the act of trying to attract girls?"

Tim entered the room and stood beside his brother "he makes a good point"

Jim nodded "ok I hear you but I can't go in that class as a total noob, teach me something."

Ron looked surprised "teach you what?"

"Dancing duh, teach me something, anything."

"Um, shouldn't we be working on the stereo?"

"We? Anyway _Tim and I _finished that half an hour ago when you were telling us how you once got first degree burns from a calzone."

"Really?" Ron scratched his head. "Ok I guess I can show you guys a little something."

* * *

**5:00**

_What is love oh baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more. Oh, baby don't hurt me  
Don't hurt me no more_

Tim and Jim sauntered awkwardly into the middle of the room, they clumsily performed a brief spin and in unison, their heads bopped to the music.

_Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh  
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh_

The music suddenly cut off

"No, no, no, no" Ron stated "that was all wrong!"

"What, what did we do wrong this time?" Jim whined.

"The moves were robotic, there's no passion. And your facial expressions, you look like you were getting a tetanus shot. On the dance floor your faces have to smolder."

"Smolder?"

"When you're on the floor the dance moves and the face must ask "who's your daddy" and they must answer "yes I AM your daddy"

He sighed "let me show you what I'm talking about. Jim you pay close attention, Tim you give me something sexy to work with."

A moment loud beat pulsed through the house, Ron's feet tapped against the floor "what you're hearing is what those in the know call grind music. The only reason it exists is for two people to grind into each like wooden sticks so that you start a fire, if you catch my drift."

"No I don't but I like the way it sounds" Jim exclaimed.

Ron snatched a pillow off the couch "OK the following should only be done when you're of proper legal age and married."

"What was that? A public service announcement?"

"It would be irresponsible for me to---

"Just show us already" Jim said.

"Alright what you got to do is let the music flow through. Don't conquer it let it conquer you. This pillow represents your chi—wife" he placed the pillow near his abdomen.

Holding the pillow by its lower half he said "chances are if you are at a party and this is the type of music being played. You'll be facing her back, so during the song you may want to hold her gently by the waist like so. Girls tend to lose themselves to the music allot faster than guys, so if you keep your cool and keep surprises from the "pants monster" to a minimum eventually the girl will trust you enough to put her arms around your neck and push back against you. This might not automatically make her your girl, but it does mean that she likes you enough _at the moment_ to let loose."

Jim rubbed his hands together "Sweet"

"The key here is moving your hips and hers together…and remember friction my amigos that's the spice of life." He lifted the pillow up to his chest "now here's a special move I developed. When your bodies are moving at the same rhythm and you're practically one organism. You can put your hand on her back and knead it a little. Then you lean in and nuzzle her neck softly; let out a sigh or maybe even a growl so that your warm and hopefully fresh breath will tickle the back of her neck."

Ron grinned "at this point if done correctly your girl—wife should be at the peak of um excitement, that's when you hit her with your best stuff. This worked a hundred percent of the time on Zita, even when she was angry with me. What you do is, you act like you're about to nibble on her earlobe but at the last second you say "girl you look so….."

Someone cleared their throat.

There was such a note of disapproval in the sound that it startled Ron causing him to drop the pillow. He slowly lifted his head to find Kim standing at the entrance of the living room directly across from him.

She frowned "What's going on here?"

Visibly flustered Ron turned to the tweebs "what's going on here?"

"That's what I just asked you."

Tim threw his hands in the air "Oh Kim ruining our fun. Who saw that coming?"

"This isn't fun, this is… I don't know what this is. What is this?" she asked Ron.

"What is this?" Ron asked the tweebs.

Jim stepped before Kim "we're trying to learn something important here."

"Like what?" she asked dubiously.

"Like how to get a girlfriend" Tim replied.

Kim froze "You…you guys are looking for girlfriends?"

"We're fifteen what do you think?" they shouted at her. "Ron was trying to help."

"Yea I guess you are fifteen" She bit her bottom lip "you know you guys could have come to me---"

"Come to you? You wanted us to come to you about chicks?"

"First of all you can stop with the "chick" stuff. If you really want girls to notice you, you can start off by being gentlemen"

"Gentlemen?" Jim said in amazement. "Is that your advice?"

Kim nodded "Yeah, like buying flowers, holding doors, pulling out chairs."

The room fell into silence.

"Oh my God this is awkward" Jim muttered.

Tim's gaze fell to the ground "we might as well have asked mom."

Kim opened her arms out wide "What, I'm trying to help."

Tim placed his hand on his brother's shoulder and spoke into his ear. Again when he was done Jim did the same.

"If you want to help, dance with Ron, you're a better reference point than a pillow."

"What?" Kim and Ron cried out in unison.

"He was giving us lessons on how to dance with girls before you barged in. Don't you think we should finish the lesson?"

Kim exchanged looks with Ron "um"

Jim started "Listen if you do this for us we promise------

---------we'll go back home tomorrow." Tim concluded.

"Aren't your suspensions lifted the day after tomorrow?"

Tim turned to his brother "whoa what happened to the fun? Someone must have sucked it all out of the room."

"Ok fine I'll help, but none of that freaky stuff."

Ron raised his right hand in the air and used his left to make a cross over his heart "Cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

"Good." She walked up to him and clasped her right hand into his left and took a familiar dancing stance "Alright Professor Love, get on with the lesson."

"Ok, so we're going for gentlemanly behavior right?"

"Yes we are" Kim told him

He took a deep breath "Jim Tim, unlike the last dance we're not trying to start a "fire" so a lot less friction here is key. Slow dances are kinda more about soft touches then uh grinding"

"So what should we play?" Jim inquired.

"Um…try track fourteen. That should work for this" he answered.

A slow tune filled the room.

"To be safe you'll to want to put your right hand on her left hip. But if you're really close to the girl like very much in love or something like that, you can put your hand on her---

"Hey" Kim warned.

"----back on her back" Ron placed his hand on the small of her back and smiled "is that ok with you?"

She shivered slightly under his touch "I'm fine….I'm just now noticing how big your hands are."

Ron continued "with your hand there during the song you can rub her back gently as you move in the slow rhythm."

"That…..that actually, feels kind of nice" Kim said.

"During the dance you should be looking into her eyes---

He stared and she met his gaze.

------if things are going good. Feel free to talk to your partner, slow dances are pretty much all about interactions.

* * *

_Love I get so lost, sometimes, days pass and this emptiness fills my heart. When I want to run away, I drive off in my car, but whichever way I go. I come back to the place you are_

"So I'm on this list aspiring student or frigid b-word. Can you believe it?"

"That's so wrong." He said with all sincerity.

They went around the room several times, very slowly and carefully. Then he began to turn with each step, so that they whirled around a bit in very slow motion.

"I mean what's wrong me, why are guys coming to Monique instead of talking to me directly?"

"Honestly, you are kind of intimidating."

'What does that even mean? How am I intimidating? Please tell me how."

"I don't know what the other guys are thinking, but I saw you knock out a huge thug with your fist."

Kim blushed "Oh right, I forgot. Hey you're not supposed to tell me the truth; you're supposed to be making me feel better."

He looked at her thoughtfully "well for what it's worth, I would most definitely have placed you in column A. You're a little headstrong yeah but you've got goals, you're motivated. You want to get the most out of school, doing things I know nothing about, you should be proud of that."

_All my instincts, they return, and the grand facade, so soon will burn without a noise, without my pride. I reach out from the inside._

Kim wrapped her arms Ron's neck and leaned into him "Hey I'm sorry about snapping at you when I came in."

"It's no big, looking at it from the outside; it probably would have shocked anyone."

She grinned "I think the most shocking thing is that I had a home to come to--"

They moved in sweeping circles around the center of the room.

"Your brothers are alright."

"In small doses sure. More importantly though they seem to like you."

"I know I'm as surprised as you are"

"You shouldn't be surprised you're a nice guy."

"Yes my one redeeming quality."

She rolled her eyes "you have other qualities"

"Like?"

"You're quirky."

"Wow, stop the presses" he laughed.

"And you're a good listener too" She pressed closer to him and placed her head against his shoulders

"_In your eyes, the light the heat, in your eyes, I am complete, in your eyes. I see the doorway to a thousand churches, in your eyes the resolution of all the fruitless searches  
in your eyes, I see the light and the heat in your eyes oh, I want to be that complete  
I want to touch the light, the heat I see in your eyes."_

Kim sighed and closed her eyes "So are we supposed to just keeping dancing or is there another step to this lesson Professor?"

Softly he said "I'm afraid if I take this a step further you might end up hurting me."

"Huh?"

"Well at the end of the song I'm supposed to surprise you with a dip and a kiss."

"Oh"

"I'm pretty sure if I did that without warning you'd probably toss me over your shoulders" he chuckled.

She opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out.

Tim nudged his brother in the rib cage "This is making my stomach turn."

"I know, but check it out, the listening gimmick really works."

"Yeah you better be taking notes, and you better have the web cam on."

Jim glanced over his shoulder at their notebook which was discreetly positioned behind a vase "oh yes this is definitely blackmail-worthy."

"Awesome."

"So what about our data?" Jim asked

"It'll be incomplete until we do some testing on the home front."

Jim watch as Kim and Ron performed another spin "alright Ron's completely forgotten about us, and we've already gotten at least five minutes worth of them dancing. Can we tell them to stop now I'm about to hurl."

Tim shook his head "Nah not yet."

"Why not?"

"You'll figure it out when you're older."

"What are you talking about? You're only older by three minutes" Jim scoffed before returning his attention to Kim and Ron.

"Oh." He said after watching his sister dance for another minute or so. "I see"

* * *

"Thanks again for helping out." 

Kim walked Ron past the doorway and onto the street

"No prob. I had fun" he said.

Abruptly a grinning Tim stuck his head out of the living room window "So did we, for most of the week actually and that's not something we expected when we decided to come over here."

"Are you saying I'm not fun? I'm fun right Ron?"

"She's definitely fun guys. If she wasn't, I wouldn't hang out with her."

Jim squeezed in beside Tim "Really? Are you sure we're talking about the same kind of fun?"

Kim's face glowed red "alright tweebs back inside!"

"Don't get your undies in a bunch sis. Ron catch" Tim extended his out the window and tossed an object to Ron.

"Be careful it might be a bomb" Kim warned.

Ron stared at the object and a smile came to his face "It's my cell phone; I must have forgotten it inside. Thanks guys."

"Don't mention it" Tim said. "Oh before I forget, Ron you said your parent's live in Middleton too right? Pretty close to ours?"

"I said that?"

"We're pretty sure you did during one of your ramblings."

"I don't know if I rambled, but ok. They do live in Middleton."

Jim gave his brother a discreet wink "here's the thing if you don't have any plans our grandmother's birthday is next week. Kim's probably going to come down, so you can come with her, and we can hang out or something."

"W...what?"

"We're inviting you as our personal guest. It would be rude and ill advised for you not to come."

"Um" Ron looked to Kim for help.

"Tweebs I'm not sure mom and dad will be…."

Tim cut her off "It'll be fine. We'll handle the technicalities. Ron we look forward to seeing you there."

Without another word the twins swiftly ducked back into the house, leaving Kim and Ron alone on the street.

She said "listen you're not really obligated to come----

He said "if it's ok with you and your folks I'd be happy to---

They paused.

He said "then again I don't want to intrude------

She said "who knows maybe it'll be fun.-------

Another pause.

"Jinx"

"Jinx"

"Double jinx"

"Double jinx"

"How about we call this one a draw?" Ron said quickly

"Draw it is…and in the unlikely event that my 'rents say yes. I don't see why we couldn't travel to Middleton together. It's definitely not that long of a trip."

"Sounds like a semi plan to me" he replied with a smirk on his face.

They said their goodbyes and Kim watched as Ron walked down the block and turned the corner. Back inside her house Tim handed her the wireless house phone.

"It's all taken care of. Mom says Ron could come" he said with a snicker before running off.

"Really?" Kim put the phone to her ear "mom?"

"Hey sweetie, it's been awhile I'm looking forward to seeing you and meeting your new boyfriend. The boys are just raving about him."

"TWEEBS!"

* * *

A/N Hopefully you liked that and it makes up for the months of absence. 

More Possibles! (next chapter) and a few Stoppable's (in the next few chapters)

So..

What did you think about Ron and the tweebs?

And of course since Kim is my biggest problem in this story. Tell me what you think about her.

Offtopic: Oh and if you have the time check out my original one shot (link on my profile) tell me what you think K'


	7. Guess who's coming to dinner

A/N

Been awhile. Hope it's worth the wait. I've decided to spend a little more time (and fun) in Middleton then I first plotted out. What this means is a few more chapters for you fine folks. If you choose to have it. Special thanks to Joe Stoppengheim for making this chapter at least presentable.

* * *

"What about this?"

Ron ran his hand through his hair as Kim shoved a DVD case under his nose. He grabbed the DVD studied the summary on the back and then he placed it back on the DVD rack.

"Or we can try to find something entertaining" he told her.

"OK, we've been at Blockbuster for over twenty minutes, why don't you suggest something?"

"Showgirls?"

Kim wrinkled her nose "strike one."

Ron glanced down the row of videos "Back to the Future?"

"How old are you again?"

"Bricks of Fury VII"

Kim contemplated this and nodded sagely, "oh I get it now you are not a fan of _films_"

Ron leaned closer to her, "do I detect movie snobbery."

"Excuse me for liking films with substance."

"I like films with substance; substances like explosions, genetically enhanced sharks, and serial killers who haunt your dreams."

Kim snatched a DVD from the shelf "what about this? It won an independent movie award."

Ron scanned the title "an English historical piece. Let me guess, main character loves the main girl but she's engaged to another, they wear fancy clothes and go to a ball, they brush against each other in a lonely corridor and then we're supposed to cry."

"There's much more to the story that that."

"Sure let's get it. And when it's done we'll talk about our feelings over hot cocoa."

Kim let out a sigh "I read an article that stated most men enjoy romantic movies as much as women do."

"That's interesting because I read an article that said most men are liars, go figure."

"Alright compromise," she handed him a copy of The Princesses Bride.

A smile came to Ron's face, "oh ho what happened to all the _film_ talk?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. This is an effective fairytale with a satirical edge geared towards adults."

"Suuuuuuure," he teased.

"Alright that's one movie down, two to go."

Ron followed Kim down the Action/Adventure aisle, "y'know the giant rodents in The Princess Bride were actually little people inside rat suits. Remember that fight scene with the giant rat; the actor in that rat got arrested, he had to be bailed out of jail by the filmmakers so the scene could be filmed."

Kim glanced over her shoulders, "why do you know that?"

"Misspent youth, my mind is a catalog of useless knowledge."

"Is there really such a thing as _useless_ knowledge?"

"oH tlhIngan Hol DajatlhlaH 'e' DaneH'a'?"

Kim appeared taken aback, "what in the world was that?"

"I just said,** "**So you want to speak Klingon?" in Klingon"

Kim nodded, "I stand corrected."

"Of course you do."

Ron stopped abruptly. Kim watched as he picked a movie up and stared at it for a moment or so. After putting the movie down he looked as if he were about to say something but he then immediately seemed to reconsider it.

"Why don't you just say it?"

"Huh?"

"Just say whatever it is you want to say."

"What are you talking about?"

"This isn't the first time I've seen you do this. You even draw in a breath and open your mouth. But then you blink once or twice and nothing comes out. I think you're editing yourself. I thought we were friends?"

"I don't edit myself."

"Yes, you do. You actually cut yourself off allot, and I should know I've been paying extra close attention to you lately."

"Why?"

"Because…." Kim replied.

Ron awaited an answer for a moment "because what?"

"You know what; we probably shouldn't be having this conversation at Blockbuster."

Ron sighed in relief as Kim brushed past him.

"What is it about Blockbuster that makes couples fight in here," remarked a Blockbuster employee as he added new videos to the shelves. "Maybe it's the color scheme."

Ron shook his head, "um you got it wrong dude, we're not a couple. She's not my girlfriend."

Before the teen employee could reply Kim suddenly returned, "are you uncomfortable talking to me, because I thought we were kind of strong on the communication front."

"Wait a sec. Didn't you just say we shouldn't be having this conversation at Blockbuster."

"Tell me what you're thinking," she said

"What?"

"Right now, tell me what you're thinking right now."

Ron paused, "I'm thinking about politics."

"You're a terrible liar."

"I am not."

"Why the long pause then?"

"…………………………………What pause?"

"Alright fine, let's drop it then."

Ron sighed again as she brushed past him for the second time in a matter of minutes. He ran his hands across his face and glanced back at the video clerk, "she's not my girlfriend."

"Are you sure?"

* * *

"All right what did I do wrong?" Ron asked as he chased Kim past the westerns .

"Heaven forbid I might want to know what makes Ron Stoppable tick."

"There aren't enough psychiatrists in the world," Ron muttered under his breath.

"Ron if you told me you felt uncomfortable talking about certain things I would understand; if you were shy and reserved, I would understand. But I've noticed that you're a little inconsistent with it all."

Ron leaned silently against a wall as Kim skimmed through the musicals. Then solemnly he said, "it involved vampires."

Kim turned to face him, "hmmm?"

"I saw Bram Stroker's Dracula on the shelf and I started thinking about vampires. See besides garlic the typical weapons against vampires are what? Holy water and the Cross right? So it dawned on me that unless I am in a pizza restaurant or in the woods, as a sort of Jewish guy I have no chance against a vampire. We have no natural weapons against vampires, in fact no other religions do. A vampire shows up in India what are they going to do, throw a statue of Vishnu at him? What I've been wondering is what about the Egyptian Ankh I mean it's got the shape, but does it have the power--

Ron froze as if he had been caught in an embarrassing act. He lifted his head up slowly to glance at Kim who smiled at him appealingly.

He groaned, "see!"

"What?"

"I saw it, these are experienced eyes Kim. I know the, "what the heck is he talking about" look when I see it."

"Well….OK, admittedly it was unusual--

"See!"

"--but who cares? I don't want you to feel like you need to watch what you say around me."

"KP, I just don't blurt out what's on my mind for good reasons."

"Like what?"

Ron avoided her gaze, "I prefer to keep some things secret."

Kim smiled brightly, "well, now you're challenging me aren't you? I am going to make it my mission to cause you to lapse, and open yourself open"

"Number one, I am looking at your eyes and you're getting a little too excited about this, it is a tad scary. Number two, you would be wasting your time and energy."

"We'll see about that," she replied.

_Was she grinning?_

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'll get you to talk somehow."

"Ha, from now on I am like Fort Knox, baby."

"Oh? What if in exchange for your secrets, I'll offer to go out with you."

Ron tripped on an invisible bump in the carpet and knocked a few movies off the shelves.

Kim let out a playful laugh, "I am just kidding, but I think I've proven my point."

Ron glanced up at her briefly as he snatched DVD's off the ground, "you are assuming of course, that I want to go out with you."

She shrugged, "I suppose I am."

Kim watched quietly as Ron replaced the movies. When he was done they walked along the aisle of new releases in amiable yet awkward silence. Eventually they both came to the same conclusion that it was time to change the subject.

"How about Jaws?" He blurted out, failing in an attempt to sound causal and relaxed.

"I have no problem with Jaws," she replied quickly. "I wouldn't mind seeing it again."

* * *

Ron awoke with a start.

There was a pounding in his head. It was a familiar feeling that was usually attributed to a lack of sleep.

He laid there for awhile in the softness of the; he glanced around….the softness of the carpet; unable to figure out where he was. The air smelled of potpourri, chocolate bars and pizza sauce. Surreal wisps of memory sifted through his consciousness

_Popcorn….movies…..laughter…..giant rats…..inconceivable!….someone's head resting lightly on his shoulder. _

As Ron lay on the ground he heard a pounding from the front door and realized what had awoken him. It grew louder as he picked himself up off the floor. Still caught in the fogs of sleep, he stumbled towards the front door and pulled it open.

Ron focused his eyes and managed to mutter, "ya.'"

He yawned and noticed that the stranger before him seemed to be taken aback by his appearance.

The stranger bit his lip and put out his hand, "My name is Ken Chaney, I was wondering if Kim was home. I am a classmate of hers."

_Classmate? Kim?_

Ron stepped out of the house and stood beside Ken. He turned towards the doorway and looked it over.

"This isn't my house," he proclaimed.

Ron then felt a quick stab of anxiety. He asked Ken to excuse him before rushing back into the house. He sprinted into the living room and found Kim asleep on the couch. He thought about it for a while and it wasn't hard for him to visualize that they had both fallen asleep and he had rolled onto the carpet.

He tapped her lightly on the shoulder, "hey, KP."

Her eyes fluttered open, "Ron?"

"Yeah, I'm surprised to find that I am still here too. Its morning, we must have fallen asleep in front of the television."

"Oh," Kim shifted on the couch and stretched her body out. "That's alright we're going to Middleton today anyway so--"

"Listen KP, do you know which one of us fell asleep first?"

She stared curiously at him, "what does it matter?"

"It'll be less awkward if I fell asleep first."

"Why?"

"You're not answering the question Kim."

"I think I fell asleep first," she replied.

Ron moaned, "I should have gone home, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for?"

"For um," he paused as he ran his hand across the back of his neck. "Encroaching on your….personal boundaries?"

"Boundaries? I invited you over to watch movies at my house."

"Yes but you didn't invite me to saw logs on you carpet," Ron countered. "See when I go to sleep my policy on pants becomes flexible."

"Are you saying you undress in your sleep?"

"It's rare but it happens. I've also been known to on occasion sleep walk, sleep eat, and sleep microwave."

"Is that all?"

"And according to some credible sources sometimes my body moves about in urgent fashion………. and I may or may not grope the nearest object."

Kim's eyebrow arched high up into her forehead, "...what?"

"I am just saying that if anything weird happened it wasn't me; it was years of emotional trauma affecting my sleeping habits."

"What kind of trauma?"

"The traumatic kind, you know how it is."

"Actually I don't know how it is."

"The bottom line here is that I'm sorry.'

"OK," Kim sat up on the couch. "Maybe you should try and consider the fact that I trust you enough to fall asleep beside you."

"I can see that," Ron nodded. "Or alternatively, maybe you're just being polite and you're masking your vast disappointment in me abusing your trust."

Kim yawned, "you're a tad pessimistic aren't you?"

"I am what I is."

Ron once again heard light knocking coming from the front door. "Oh I forgot; someone at the front door is here to see you. He says he's a classmate of yours."

"Really?" Kim picked herself off couch; pulling her drapes back she peeked out the window.

Ron came up behind her and they both discreetly stared out the window.

"Who is he?" he asked.

"I am not sure. He seems familiar."

Ron glared at the Ken who was wearing a dark gray blazer with khakis "Poster boy for Business Casual monthly. How do you _not_ know this guy?"

"I think I do remember him vaguely."

"Geez check out his watch. Having him just stand there is bringing the property value up."

"I think I remember something about Monique commenting on his shoes; something about them being fabulous."

"I can't compete with that," Ron sighed.

Kim turned to him.

"I wasn't talking about you; I was talking about in general" Ron told her matter--of--factly.

"Are you OK?" Kim asked

"I don't usually wake up this early I'm a little sleep deprived."

She turned back to the window, "anyway, I've got to at least run some water across my face and swig some mouthwash. Distract him until I get back."

"Can do."

Kim darted to the bathroom and Ron shuffled back to the front door.

"KP will be with you in sec."

"KP?" Ken clucked.

Ken glanced past Ron into the house. Ron briefly wondered if he should invite Ken inside. But it wasn't his house and he had been told to distract.

_Distract him? How?_

"Um," Ron peered down at Ken's footwear. "Those are some fabulous shoes"

"Fabulous?" Ken's semi sneer transformed into a smile.

"Yeah um" Ron averted his gaze. "They're quite fashionable."

"Yeah fashionable, right" Ken smiled. "You would know a bit about fashion wouldn't you?"

Ron was confused but he decided to roll with it.

"Sure. I love the way your um, collar, is wrapped around your neck. That's very in this year."

Before Ken could say another word Kim sidled up beside Ron, "hello."

Ron took this as his cue to ease himself out of the conversation and back into the house. He then made a beeline to the kitchen. He weighed the pros and cons and decided that he wanted to surprise Kim with a surprise breakfast. He popped open the fridge and began to scrounge around.

A few minutes later Kim entered the kitchen and found Ron flipping pancakes

"You're cooking breakfast?"

"Surprise," he said. "I can make a little more if Ken is going to stay over."

"No he's gone; he just wanted to partner up with me on this team project."

"Oh."

"I declined his offer," she said quickly. "I don't need any partners. I am going to run solo on this one."

"Ah, isn't it a _team_ project?"

Kim waved her hand in the air dismissively, "yeah, but I can work better without the team aspect."

Ron felt the urge to point out the very obvious but thought better of it.

"So, should we clear the air about the sleepover?" She said.

"Sleepover?" his voice replied with a little higher pitch than normal. "Is that what we're calling it?"

"Why not?"

"Well for one thing we happen to be adults"

"Two mature adults watching The Princess Bride and Jaws. I wouldn't worry too much about it. We had fun so that's what counts."

"I guess that's true."

Right eyebrow cocked, Kim stared at Ron for a moment or so, "I see you've made yourself comfortable in here. I know you can make a fine lunch, but what about breakfast?"

He flipped a single pancake onto a plate and offered it to her, "you tell me. Careful though, girls and small animals have been known to swoon after tasting my pancakes."

Kim popped a piece it into her mouth.

"It's really good," she exclaimed with her eyes brightening.

"Yeah well, when I was eight, my mom got me a Granny Crocket Quickie-Bake Mixer and Oven set, the rest is history."

"I get something new out of you every day. Can I help?"

"Sure."

"Uh, I should warn you I am not much of cook."

"You can work on the eggs; you can't really screw up on eggs."

* * *

"I know who did it!" he moaned.

Kim turned to see Ron in a reclined position on the passenger's seat clutching his stomach with both hands.

"It was Miss Possible in the kitchen with the hemlock."

Kim rolled her eyes, "ah, a Clue joke, too bad there weren't any poisons in that game."

"Well there were some in my eggs this morning."

"Walked right into that one," Kim sighed.

"Yes you did."

"I said from the start I wasn't much of a cook."

"I thought you were being coy."

"Why would you think that?"

"I have poor judgment," Ron grumbled. "Oh man, my stomach just fell past my lower intestine"

Kim turned the key of the ignition, "we could continue to discuss my lack of cooking skills, or we can get on our way."

"Why can't we do both?"

Ron then fished his vibrating cell phone from his pocket. He flipped it open and spent the next few minutes staring at the screen with a perplexed look upon his face.

"OK this can't be right."

"What is it?" Kim asked.

"I've asked your brothers about how to behave around your parents and I'm getting some pretty weird info. I'm starting to think I've been wasting my time."

"When did you and my brothers become instant messaging buddies?"

Ron noted the slight agitation on Kim's face, "don't get the wrong idea they contacted me first. Yesterday I got this."

He pushed a few buttons on the phone then held it out for her to see. Kim glanced over to see a picture of herself, as a child, smiling up at the camera as she was being potty rained in the nude.

Kim drew in a sharp breath, "I'm going to kill them."

"Now Kim, double fratricide is not the answer here; besides this picture is adorable. "

"Why didn't you ask me? About me parents I mean."

Ron shrugged, "I didn't want to bother you about it, and you don't really talk about your family that much."

"Hey it's not like I am purposefully keeping secrets, like some people."

Ron made note of the irritation in her voice, "touche."

"So what did they say?"

"Your bros have advised me to wear tons of man jewelry, pretend I come from a long line of circus folk, and pinch your rear end in front of your father every hour on the hour.

"I'm going to kill them. It's going to be slow and drawn out, but I'm going to kill them," Kim muttered as she kept her eyes on the road ahead.

After a few minutes of silence Ron cleared his throat and said, "well I was thinking maybe I should ….you know…..buy a bottle of wine or something?"

"What?"

Ron gulped nervously, "your parents like wine right?"

Kim glanced at him with a smile, "are you going to propose tonight?"

He shook his head rapidly side to side, "it just seems like um the grownup thing to do."

"A bottle of wine, you want to bring a bottle of wine to my parents as a tribute?"

"I think it's kind of classy OK. I am trying to show some class….what is wrong with bringing them a bottle of wine?"

"I didn't say anything was wrong," Kim chuckled. "It's just that, no one's ever…I mean I've had people over to meet them, but no one has ever suggested, are you serious?"

"If I were a parent, I'd love it if my kid's friend brought me a bottle of wine."

"I don't know, my mom would probably be alright with it, but my dad might feel like you're trying to bribe him."

Ron blew out a breath, "OK this is good, I am going to most definitely need this kind of info if I am to dialog with your folks."

"Dialog?" Kim clucked as she tapped lightly on the steering wheel.

"Yes, I need Intel KP."

"Alright if you must know about them; in the simplest terms my dad is a rocket scientist and my mom is a brain surgeon."

Kim heard a tut and sigh before she turned to see Ron tapping his head against the windowsill.

"It's no big really," she exclaimed.

"No big? From being around you I knew they were probably accomplished but….are you sure your last name is Possible and not Huxtable?"

"So my parents are accomplished professionals, so what?"

Ron lowered his head, "if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."

Kim flashed him a smile, "just be yourself, you'll be fine."

Ron scoffed loudly and brought his attention to the landscape beyond the window.

"Ok I can deal for the evening," he said a moment later. "But I gotta know how you've dealt with it all these years."

"What do you mean?"

Ron ran his hands together "OK, before I went to high school, I discovered three things. My father was a highly regarded actuary, my grandfather was a highly regarded accountant and I was bad at math. So I spent the summer before high school trying to brush up on my algebra. Second worst summer of my life."

"What happened?"

"After the second worst summer of my life, a summer of which I beat myself up for not figuring out what X equals. I got to high school and I discovered I didn't care; not until my junior year anyway."

Kim ran her right hand through her hair, "well my parents never put any pressure on me."

"My folks didn't either; I put it on myself. And if I put pressure on myself then you must….."

"So!" Kim blurted out suddenly. "I've noticed you haven't deleted that picture yet."

"Which picture? The one where you're being potty trained or the one where you're wearing the Tina Turner wig."

"**Both**!" Kim snapped.

Ron put his hands up to surrender, "fine, your brothers were right about one thing though, you are scary when you're angry."

* * *

"I am here to see my mother, Anne Possible"

"Having no idea what to do I ended up screaming "Oh vey, somebody stole my yamika, I have to go now." I got off the floor and spent a few seconds patting my head furiously before running out of the room."

Kim turned away from the hospital receptionist and faced Ron, "that sounds like a Bris Mila, your family will never forget."

"A memory among memories KP. A few hours later my evil cousin Sean puts diablo sauce in my fruit punch. So I am standing there in the middle of the room looking like a cherry lollipop. And instead of heading to the bathroom like a rational person, I make a beeline for the pool. I swan dive in head first and I land on my Uncle-in-law, you know the one who speaks Yiddish with a Southern drawl--

Ron stopped himself when he noticed that Kim and the receptionist were staring at him.

"Um uh," he stammered. "And that's the end of the story"

"Well then, Kim you'll find your mother in room 213," the receptionist told them.

"Thank you."

"When are you going to stop?" Ron asked when they were out of earshot of the receptionist

"Stop what?" Kim asked.

"Making me tell you weird things."

"I agree that it was a strange story, but for the record I am not making you do anything," she said as they stepped into an empty elevator.

"No more embarrassing secrets. I am now a lock box. I've got a strong will Kim, as strong as an iceberg."

"How strong is an iceberg exactly?"

"Hey you don't see the Titanic strolling by anymore do you?"

They stepped out of the elevator.

"Ron, if I were to go out of my way to pry into your life. And I am not. It would only be because you are an interesting person in a messed up type of way," she said with an imperceptible smile.

"Boy you could play tennis with a backhand like that."

"And I meant every word of it. Oh before we meet up with my mom, I want to thank you for agreeing to volunteer."

He shrugged, "no problem, I kind of like the sound of being a sunshine spreader, 213 right?"

Rubbing his hands nervously Ron followed Kim into room 213 and they found themselves staring at a wrinkled, withered, and naked body.

"Hi," the old woman said nakedly.

She walked away from them and bent down to pick up a small piece of cloth on the ground.

"The worst part is that I won't be able to unremember this," Ron whispered to Kim.

Kim made an attempt to shield her eyes with her palm but she quickly brought her hands down from fear of being rude.

"Just don't stare directly at," she told Ron.

"It's making my reflux act up, but I….I can't turn away."

It took a moment for them both to realize that Anne Possible had appeared from the room's bathroom.

"Kim, you're here."

Turning her head away from the horrific scene Kim finally noticed her mother, "mom, hey."

She nudged Ron with her elbow, "mom, this is Ron."

Ron pulled his gaze away from the old woman and began to shake his head vigorously, "thank you, oh thank you, I'm finally free."

Anne approached them with a smile, "so this is the Ron I've heard so much about"

"I am very pleased to meet you Mrs….Doctor…Possible."

"Oh please, don't call me Mrs. Possible, it makes me feel old. Call me Anne."

Ron ran his right hand across the back of his neck, "sure thing Ann--Mrs….Dr….P."

Kim sighed, "this might be as informal as he can get right now. Uh mom, are we intruding on something."

She gestured towards the elderly woman who was now practicing calisthenics in the corner.

"Oh don't mind Mattie, she's a nudist."

"That is not the image of nudists that I've had since late childhood."

"Oh Ronald, I am sure you've seen your fair share of naked women before."

Ron snorted, "you'd be surprised Mrs. Dr. P."

He froze.

"Did I just say that out loud?"

Kim and Anne exchanged glances

Ron put his hands up to his shoulders, surrendering, "just to be clear I was implying that I have not seen allot of naked women….I've only seen one…excluding my mother…which was awkward because I was twelve…and I should have stopped talking twenty one words ago."

He clapped his hands together then pointed toward the door, "OK, I am going to leave."

He turned to walk away and Kim snatched him by the sleeve, "Ron, it's so not the drama."

She pulled him back into the room, "he's just nervous mom. But he'll be alright to volunteer."

"Oh that's fantastic news! Some of our regular volunteers had to cancel today."

Ron smiled, "I can't not help."

"Will you be staying with the kids or the seniors?"

It may have been his imagination but through the corner of his eyes Ron caught sight of Mattie winking at him.

"Kids, the kids. We'll take the kids!" Ron cried out.

After saying their farewells to Mattie, Kim and Ron found themselves heading towards the children's wing.

"So what are you thinking now?" she inquired.

"Right now?"

"Yes."

An exaggerated wolfish grin came to Ron's face as he watched Anne Possible walk ahead of them.

"One word, RAWR."

Kim clicked her tongue and punched Ron playfully on his shoulder.

He laughed, "What, you asked what I was thinking right?"

* * *

Kim reached into the vending machine and pulled out a bag of BBQ chips. "I shouldn't be eating these." Kim opened the bag and popped a few chips into her mouth, as she reflected on the day's events. As she dipped her hand into the bag a second time a shadow fell over the vending machine.

"Ron seems nice."

Kim turned to her mother, "we're not dating."

Anne rolled her eyes, "you are a grown woman. You are allowed to see whoever you wish."

"We're just good friends."

"Fine, but I will say this. He isn't like any of the other boys you've introduced me too."

Kim fingered her hair and smiled thoughtfully. "That's an understatement mom. But I am pretty sure that he's holding back on me a bit. I can understand why he'd be a bit apprehensive about some stuff. We haven't really known each other that long really, though sometimes _I_ feel like we've been friends longer than we have."

"Well dear, relationships take time."

"This isn't a relationship mom."

"A friendship is a relationship honey." Anne stepped forward and pulled Kim into a tight embrace. "You seem like you're doing well, I know I haven't heard you say "so the drama" for a few years now."

"Really? Well things have been good lately, on all fronts actually."

Anne gave her daughter and extra squeeze, "we haven't talked face to face for awhile; you know you could call home more often."

"Mom you know I've been really busy lately."

"Not busy enough to make a new friend."

"Well you got me there, so you like him right?"

Anne stepped back and placed her hand beneath her chin, "well his nervousness does remind me of someone I met in college."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter," Anne replied with a sly grin. "Why don't we go check up on him?"

"Ah you're right. Knowing Ron he is probably getting a bit overwhelmed right about now."

They entered the hospital playroom to discover about a dozen children seated in a circle in the middle of the room.

"Where's Ro--"

Kim was interrupted by the sound of someone bursting out of the closet and rolling into room. The costumed person broke out of the roll onto his feet standing proudly before the children.

"I think that's--" Anne began.

"It is I, the fierce fighter of freakish foes. These crime-ridden streets will bow to the will of the Fearless Ferret."

A small boy jumped to his feet, "you'll never catch me Fearless Ferret MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ron jumped in the boy's path and pretended to karate chop the child. The boy cried out in mock horror and fell to the ground.

"Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man!"

Ron knelt over the boy "I'm not going to kill you. I want you to tell all your friends about me."

"What are you?" The boy cried.

"I'm the Fearless Ferret! I stalk the night to foil fiendish foes" Ron growled.

The seated children broke out into cheers and applause

"He's really getting into this," Kim commented as Ron pointed melodramatically into the air.

"Children, I am off to ferret-out crime wherever it may hide. But first lets all do the ferret dance."

A chorus of "na-na-na-na-na-na" filled the room as Ron led the kids in the famous dance. Ron danced his way around the room until he found himself face to face with Kim and her mother.

He swiftly pulled the fearless ferret mask off and held it sheepishly in his hands, "I uh…the kids showed me the costumes, I saw this….and I decided to put it on. You only live once right?"

Kim grinned then she placed two fingers over her face forming a mock mask, "na-na-na-na-na."

"It's been awhile but when in Rome..." Anne said as she followed her daughter's lead.

Ron chuckled softly at the sight of the two women moving around in ridiculous fashion as a pack of children danced around them.

* * *

"Are you alright?" the elder red head asked.

Ron's opened his eyes and sat up. He quickly discovered that he was on a hospital bed. "I feel like someone has been stamping on my head."

"Here drink this."

Anne offered Ron a paper cup; he accepted it graciously before gulping down its contents.

"You've slipped up on a toy car during the dance. You took a bad spill and bumped your head."

With a groan Ron reached for the bump on his head, "yeah that sounds like something I would do. Where's Kim?"

"She went to the cafeteria to get you some snacks."

He found movement difficult so he lay back down, "I feel a little woozy."

Anne smiled down at him, "that's a perfectly normal reaction. You'll be fine after some rest."

Ron moaned; his head felt cloudy and he was just a bit more than slightly confused.

"Hey Mrs. Dr. P., earlier you said you've heard about me...good things?"

"Well I've heard two different versions of things, one from Kim and the other from Jim and Tim. Rest assured they are both positive."

"That's good to know," Ron replied.

"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question Ron?"

"Shoot Doctor P."

"Do you like Kim?"

"Like Kim? Yes we have lots of fun together, like-like Kim…………no."

"Is there a reason for that?"

Ron put up two fingers, "two reasons. One I like the platonic thing. I really enjoy spending time with her. There are times I get the feeling that I've known her allot longer than I've known her. Problem is I can get too comfortable that's when my filtering system gets out of whack."

"Filtering system?"

"Mrs. P, you may be surprised to hear this, but I am far from….your average Joe….or your average rich pretty boy Joe. If I told Kim _everything_ well…."

Ron inhaled and blurted out the sound of an explosion "……total flame-out"

"Hmmm, what was the second reason?" Anne asked.

Ron placed his right hand high in the air "this is Kim's radar."

He placed his left hand far below the right one "this is me…..flying under it. But it's all good."

"You are a cautious young man."

"I live my life like an antelope Mrs. P. I'm always looking around, checking the water for crocs, worrying where the next lion is coming from."

"I see."

Ron closed his eyes but they flickered open a second later "Mrs. Dr. P. Did I just tell you a whole bunch of stuff that I probably would have wanted to keep a secret?"

Anne coughed nervously into her fist, "I don't think so."

"Good, oh and Mrs. P., never make a bet with the Cobra commander, he'll cheat every time.

Ron then closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Kim was beginning to unpack when Ron, who had been lying down on her bed, suddenly bolted upright, "oh my God!, We treated Al gore like Jor-el and now we're paying for it!"

"What was that?"

Ron blinked rapidly before bringing his attention to Kim, "did you just say something?"

"No, you said something, something about Al Gore."

Ron gave her a look of confusion, "who's Al Gore, but more importantly where am I?"

"Wait a minute are we just going to gloss over the fact that you just woke up screaming?"

"KP, if you're going to question the logic in everything I do, our friendship won't ever progress."

"Fine whatever, FYI you're in my old room."

"I'm in your house? When did I get here?"

"You don't remember? We got here about a half hour ago. That bump must have really done a number on you."

"Oh." Ron scanned the immediate area, "so this where the magic happened eh?"

"Define magic," Kim said as she absentmindedly held her book bag upside down over her bed.

She gasped suddenly as a plush doll fell out of her bag. There came a moment's hesitation before Kim swiftly shoveled everything back into her book bag.

"Did you see it?" Kim asked.

Ron answered quickly, "I didn't see anything."

"Good."

"Wait a minute, are we talking about the teddy bear or your underwear? Because I saw both, and I am not sure which one of them you're embarrassed about."

Kim lowered her head as she massaged the base of her forehead with her thumb and forefinger.

"It was the doll?"

Kim remained silent as she drew in a breath.

Ron chortled, "hey Kim, you mind if I crack a window? the irony in here is getting a little overwhelming."

"This is not irony."

"Hey I understand irony alright. Irony is the shark hunter getting eaten in Jaws. Irony is what is happening right here."

"It's not ironic it's a coincidence. We both happen to have things we would like to keep from each other."

Ron ran his hands under his chin, "I think you owe me one. Especially since breakfast when you introduced me to your friend Sal--"

"Oh no please..."

"You remember sal right--salmonella"

"Gah. I don't know what's worse the guilt or the joke," Kim reached into the bag and pulled out the rather strange looking doll.

"This is panderoo," she gave it a little squeeze before placing it at the head of her bed. "He's a cuddle buddy."

"Can I ask what is the deal with panderoo?"

Kim licked her lips and glanced down at the doll, "you can."

"OK I can…But I'd rather talk about those" he pointed to the mass of trophies and medals lining the walls of the room. "What I want to know is why didn't you take them with you when you moved out?"

Kim shrugged, "I figured their place was here in this room, in this house."

Ron walked along the line of honors, "regional spelling bee first prize, certificate of merit, first honors, first honors, first honors, volunteer service award, certificate for academic excellence, perfect attendance, the Stephen A. Barowsky Prize in recognition of exceptional leadership qualities,The Bucknell Prizes for Exceptional Women….."

Ron glanced over his shoulder "you think you have any more room for achievement in your life."

"Is there something wrong with me having these?"

"No, I am genuinely amazed and impressed by all this. Makes me kind of wish I had ambition. However when did you have any fun?"

"Getting all these were fun."

Ron shook his head, "no, I don't mean "hey I won, this is fun." I mean "I don't care; I am just in the moment" fun."

'Um, well during high school Monique and I…."

Ron picked up on her hesitation "how about "I don't care if I win" fun.**"**

He waited as Kim quietly scanned her trophies. Eventually when she had reached a far corner of her room she picked up a golden cylinder.

"I won this one three years ago. I had a great time thinking up unique cheer movers for the competition. Winning this cheer stick was just a bonus I guess."

"But you put that one all the way across the room."

As Kim was about to reply to Ron's comment her bedroom door opened, and her mother stepped into the room.

"Honey, dad's home and dinner will be ready in a few."

"Thanks mom."

Once Anne had walked out of the room, Ron let out a deep sigh.

"Problem?"

"Uh your brothers, your mom and your dad. It's not every day that I walk into a place knowing for sure that I have the lowest IQ in the room."

To Ron's surprise Kim took him by the hand, "don't worry about it. Trust me it's really not that bad."

* * *

Ron had only taken a half step into the dining room area when James Possible materialized before him.

"So this is the Ronald I have heard about."

Ron gulped, in a weak voice, "good things I hope."

They engaged in an unusually long handshake before James took his place at the head of the dinner table.

"What was that all about?" Kim whispered.

"I think that went will. It's a good thing that I've been experimenting with a ten pump heavy handshake.

"What for?"

"I imagine it's what grown up men do."

That pretty much killed Kim's line of questioning.

The dinner started off well. The Possibles chatted amongst themselves as Ron took in the

the family scene. He felt strangely at home until.

"You're a little quiet over there Ronald."

Ron jumped at the remark, "no! I was just savoring this fine meal. This is really delicious Mrs. Dr. P."

"Thank you Ron. Would you like some more pasta?"

Ron laughed nervously, "oh, Mrs. P. are you trying seduce me?"

"Pardon?" James inquired.

"He's joking dad, it's a line from The Graduate," Kim said quickly.

"Oh, of course, The Graduate that's a very fine movie…..one of Hoffman's best. Huh I should have caught that reference."

"It's not your fault Mr. Dr.P it's clear that I should stop being funny but I've yet to find what the alternative is."

Silence

"I will have more pasta thank you Mrs. P."

"You're trying a tad too hard Ron, relax," Kim told him through hushed whispers. "Just be yourself."

Ron rolled his eyes "I'd rather be locked in the mirror room of a fun house with a snake haired woman then do that."

"Why not? Just be honest with them, I'm sure they'll like you."

"I am sure of that too, and by sure I mean highly doubt."

"I like you, they'll like you."

Ron opened his mouth to reply but words currently escaped him.

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Anne asked playfully.

"Nothing," Kim said quickly.

James poured himself a glass of iced tea "Ron, are you an Upperton U student as well?"

"No, I go to Q"

"Q?" Anne asked.

Kim answered before Ron could, "City University of Upperton…C.U.U. Ron's the only one who calls it that."

"Oh that's a fine school."

James nodded, "so what are you studying?"

"I, uh, would love to answer that but I guess I am starting to reevaluate my academic life. I am not so sure I am happy with the way things are going right now."

Kim eyed Ron curiously, "Really? When did this happen?"

His eyes in turn went from her face to his plate, "it happened recently. I've been thinking about it for literally a few days now. I know some people might say it's a little late in the game to think about switching majors, but y'know."

Anne handed Ron a bowl of mashed potatoes, "well Ron, life is about the journey not the destination."

On the other side of the table Jim exhaled loudly through his nose

"This is boring, it's going too smoothly," he muttered under his breath.

"Chill dude, have some faith," Tim said through the side of his mouth.

"Can you pass the pepper Mr. Dr. P.?"

James put down his knife and fork, swallowed his mouthful, turned to Ron and slowly said "shut your loser mouth. You're a parasite on the underbelly of society and God help you if you touch my beautiful daughter, you worthless waste of space."

"I had no intention of touching her sir" Ron gasped.

James glanced up from his meal, "excuse me?"

"Intention of touching who?" Anne asked.

A quick scan of the table revealed to Ron that every eye at the table was now staring at him. Waiting for him to explain what had occurred.

"Did you just say something Mr. Dr. P.?" Ron asked.

James wiped his mouth with a napkin before slowly shaking his head.

"Oh my uh my bad. I was thinking out loud."

"What's the matter?" Kim asked.

"I am on the edge KP. I am hallucinating and I have no idea what is going to happen next," Ron whispered back.

"So Ronald."

"Huh?" Ron squeaked

"Oookay…..What are you looking for out of life Ron?"

"Dad? What's with the third degree?"

"It's small talk Kimmie-cub, I am trying to get to know your boyfriend."

Ron almost fell out of his chair.

"He's not my boyfriend, he's my friend," Kim stated.

"Well from what I hear from the boys, you're practically engaged. Besides why would you bring a friend to meet you parents?"

"MOM!"

Ron placed his hand in the air, "check please"

"It's just a misunderstanding dear; there is no need to get heated. Your brother's misinterpreted your relationship. I can see where that could happen."

"What?" Kim exclaimed.

"From what I saw," Jim began

Something mystic told Ron that he would be better off answering James' question than allowing Jim to continue talking. However that didn't leave him with enough time to think up a suitable answer.

"I am not sure what I want," he blurted out. "I mean yeah some financial success would be cool, help out with the bills. Get my folks a nicer house. I guess I want what most people want, world peace, a career that makes me happy, a girl to call my own….I want a dream lover. So I don't have to dream alone."

"Wait wait, I know that one. Don't tell me." The room became silent as James mulled over Ron's reference. Then with a smile of confidence, "Bobby Darin, Dream lover. I love that song."

"Lovely song," Anne added. "I used to play that very song for Kim when she was little. She would dance to it in the nude, shaking her cute little tush in the air."

A tinge of red appeared on Kim's cheek, "no, no, no, no, no, we are not going down that road."

Anne's face lit up "I know I should bring out the photo album."

"No!" Kim cried.

"You're right I should save that for the party tomorrow. I am sure Nana would love that."

"Mom!'

"I would love to see the photo album Mrs. Dr. P."

"Ron! Not Helping!"

"What about the home videos?"

"Dad!"

Ron grinned mischievously, "I have feeling Kim was absolutely adorable as a little baby."

"As cute as a button, let me go get the album we'll give Ron a sneak peek."

"Mother, no!"

As Ron, Anne and Kim engaged in a three way chat. Jim let out disappointed sigh "OK, Kim's embarrassed that's fine, but how different is this from every Thanksgiving."

"I guess it's time to take this up a notch" Tim said. "So Ron what do you think about the upcoming election?"

Ron froze, Kim glowered at her brother.

"That is a good question" James remarked.

"The election, now that is complex issue." Ron took a sip of iced tea and then he turned to Kim, "can you please pass the salt."

She handed him the salt, he sprinkled some on his food and proceeded to continue eating silently with his head lowered.

James turned to Anne who shrugged cheerfully; he turned to Kim who was staring daggers at Tim, before returning to Ron.

"Well?"

Ron meekly looked up from his food "Hmmmm?"

"The election, I'd like to hear your opinions on it" the Possible elder inquired.

"My parents raised me not to express any opinions outside of the home."

This brought out snickers out of Tim and Jim.

"Boys!"Anne turned to Ron, "if you prefer not to answer Ron that's fine."

Ron looked to Kim for help but she nudged him softly in the ribs.

He sighed, "here's the thing Mr. Dr. P., I can try to guess what you want to hear. And if I _was_ dating Kim I would probably take that chance. I am sure most guys you've been introduced to have gone that route. But religion and politics are usually dicey subjects at best, and I am a terrible guesser. I am not looking forward to a sleepless night wondering if the Possible's think I am a jerk."

"Huh?" James replied. "Well that was an honest answer I guess."

"But if you need some opinions sir, it's my opinion that Goodfellas is the best movie of all time, rocket science is cool, Clementine's are an underrated fruit, three is a magic number, and your wife's pasta is undeniably drool-worthy."

Silence.

James shrugged, "that's good enough for me"

"Ron's right this was a great dinner mom," Kim said.

"I'm sure he's just being polite."

Ron popped a forkful of pasta into his mouth. "No this isn't politeness Mrs. P. I really needed something to counteract the breakfast Kim cooked this morning."

James forcefully cleared his throat, "so Kim made you breakfast huh?"

The obvious implications of the statement forced Ron to execute a spit take. Bits of lasagna were launched over the dinner table into the air. Tim and Jim ducked out of their chairs to dodge the scattering pieces.

"Dear!"

"He brought it up. I was just asking a question."

Beneath the table Jim grinned, "that was a classic moment right there."

Tim nodded, "Told ya, now I can't wait for the party tomorrow."

"It's not like that," Ron gasped. "I just happened to be there in the morning and I...uh...nothing's happened!"

Jim peeked up from under the table, "YET"

"Boys!"

"It isn't like that," Kim proclaimed. "But that's not that point. The point is if Ron and I were a couple and we did decide to engage in an act of intimacy--

Ron placed his face in his palms, "oh it just keeps getting better."

"--as consensual adults why would you have a problem with that dad?"

"I would have a problem with it being brought up at dinner time."

"Why? If Ron were my boyfriend at this point in my life shouldn't it be assumed that we are having sexual relations?"

Ron butted in, "But we're not together so it's not an issue, though it's not like I am completely against it. It's just we're not together--"

"I thought he was your boyfriend until a few minutes ago" James answered Kim. "And I rather not assume anything at all."

"--No one heard that last part right--"

"Kim I am sure you're father agrees that you are free to pursue relationships at your leisure. We only want what makes you happy."

"--Because I was just joking wakka wakka--"

"As long as what keeps her happy stays away from the dinner table."

"--I am going to stop talking now--"

"You're the one who was jumping to conclusions dad. It wasn't really fair to Ron."

"We're just really good friends," Ron summarized. "And that's the way it is."

Kim turned to him, "right"

As expected shortly afterward the room descended into an awkward silence.

"Well I guess we've had out fun, for now," Tim muttered.

"Hey Ron, did you hear about the upcoming Captain Constellation movie? You mentioned you like that show, right."

Ron looked over at Jim, "I did?"

"Among other things, Tim and I didn't ask about."

"The movie sounds pretty good, but I doubt it will be good as the original series. That show was genius."

James stopped stabbing at his food, "I was just saying that to Anne the other night. If you dig deeper you'll notice that the episode City on the edge of Time is a rather Shakespearean exploration of time travel."

"It's my opinion Mr. P., that the show was a great mix of science, wonder, philosophy, humor AND drama. Plus the catch phrases were great."

"ROCKETS ARE GO!" They shouted in unison.

"Kim doesn't care for the show," James told him.

Ron shook his head sadly, "that's a shame. She might like the stand alone TV specials."

"Already tried that, she…

Tim took the opportunity to mouth "you're welcome" to a now less agitated Kim.

* * *

"Everything went along fine. A couple of times you sounded like a nine year old, but I found it amusing."

Ron stepped off the Possible porch "I am glad you thought it was funny. A couple of times there I was eying the table cloth and wondering if I could hang myself with it."

"It was fine. My mom is sweet on you and my dad doesn't hate you."

"Really?"

"He said and I quote "he has a fine handshake" and "at least he's not boring" so take those for what their worth."

"It's worth allot actually. I thought things had come off far worse after your brothers thanked me for the entertainment."

Ron surveyed the neighborhood, "I can't believe this. I only live a few houses down from here.'

"Really? I'll walk you over then."

"I don't think that's a good idea--

"I insist," Kim declared.

"She insists," Ron muttered to himself in an old man Jewish accent. "So, let's go."

Kim took him by the right arm as they walked away from the Possible homestead. "By the way, I think cherries are underrated fruits."

"You're out of your mind KP, everyone loves cherries. Heck this one time when I was at summer camp, which F.Y.I, turned out to be the center of all things evil on the earth I….Ah wait a minute!"

* * *

A/N So there you go folks. Read and review. Next stop Hannah and the Stoppable's!

Let me know what you thought about the Possibles, the dinner, and any or all other character details.


	8. A Fish Called Swimmy

A/N

It's been awhile for this story I know, boy do I know. XD Worst of all, the last chapter of this story may have been some of my better pieces of writing. So I've got to make up for time and live in the shadow of that last chapter. Oh and I'm on the last legs of my last semester in college. So I'm on Graduation road road folks! Needless to say I've got a lot of the noggin lol

But anyway enough about me. Here's the chapter XD

* * *

**Six Months Ago:**

The cell phone had been vibrating profusely for the last ten minutes when he finally slipped it out of his pocket. He was set to disconnect the call before catching sight of the caller ID. For a moment he considered his next action before taking the call and placing it against his ear.

"What is love?" said the cheery voice from the other line.

"What?" Ron recognized the voice immediately as the one that belonged to his little sister. "Is mom there? Does she know you're calling?"

Ron heard his sister's exasperated sigh. "The lady on the T.V said 'I love you' to this man, but before that, the man first said 'I love you' to the lady's sister. The sister got in a car but then the car exploded and now she's in a hospital sleeping for a long time. So now the first lady was going to shoot the man, but she cried and said 'I love you' to him.…and then she shot him with a gun."

"What…What the heck are you watching?!'

"Passion hospital of the Young, Bold, and Restless."

After a moment of scanning through the vast Rolodex of television programming titles that occupied the section in his brain that should have been reserved for Math; a image of the program his sister had been watching sprang up in his mind. Hannah was watching a soap opera, a contrived yet very racy soap opera.

"Han….What happened to Sesame Street?"

"Booooooring!" Hannah chirped happily from the other line. "So what is love?"

"OK, sis, I'm sorry but I'm very busy right now so I'm going to hang up, and when I do, I want you to change the channel and watch some cartoons ok? …..do you hear me? I'm going to hang up Hannah, I'm gonna…..Hannah, I'm going to hang up."

Pause.

They both new that he was bluffing and the longer he waited the more awkward the silence grew.

Ron groaned. "OK, Love is um…I guess it's like when, uh OK, see, even though mom has seen dad laying around like maybe a thousand Sunday mornings in his underwear, kind of sweaty with a pooch belly, and she still says he is more handsome than Burt Reynolds…"

"Who is Bert Rainolds?"

"He's a guy who used to be handsome when mom was young.…The point is Han, there's like three billions guys in the world and mom only wants dad…."

Silence

"I don't think that's good enough."

"What?"

"I need a better answer."

Ron grabbed at his hair. "What's wrong with my answer?"

"I still don't know what love is."

"Hannah, I barely know what love is!"

"But you're old!"

'I've got a long time to go before I'm old, Han" Ron countered. "Love will come to me eventually."

"How will you know? You don't know what it is."

"I do know....I've been close OK…I think…" Ron sighed. "Sometimes Han when you're with someone you like a lot; you get tingles…..tingles of happiness around your whole body."

"Tingles, like when soap bubbles get in your nose?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go with that. The uh tingles make you smile and as long as you're around that person you'll almost always feel like smiling. Because no matter what happens just being with that person makes you want to smile."

There was another pause. Ron feared that this would go on all afternoon.

"I like tingles" Hannah replied.

"Everyone likes tingles Han, everybody wants the tingles."

"K"

"Han I'm going to go, but first I want you to change the channel. Put the phone next to the TV so I can hear you change the channel."

Ron heard a slight whimper from his sister, before hearing bursts of dialog from various channels. He sighed in relief. What were his parents doing while Han's mind was being corrupted? Hmm it was likely something he did not dare imagine.

Suddenly he heard Hannah coo. "Ooo kung fu channel!"

Alarms rang off in Ron's head as he listened to the furious sounds effects of physical blows and screeching men. Without him there to gauge the level of violence on the kung fu movies and deem them acceptable she'd watch all kinds of hyper violence.

"Why did that guy's head come off?" Hannah seemingly asked herself.

"No, Han turn away from the gratuitous yet comical violence. Where is mom and dad?"

"Bye, bye bro, thanks for teaching me!"

Dial tone

Ron placed the phone against his forehead and let out a heavy sigh. Now he would have to re-install the V-chip at his parents' place.

"Ahem!"

Ron glanced up at his Art History professor, then at his bewildered classmates, and then back at the Professor. "That was my younger sister sir, I can't turn it off...the phone I mean, with her on the line."

"That is very touching Stoppable, however the next time she calls during my class room, feel free to step outside."

"Yes sir." Ron muttered. "I'll make note of that, sir.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Present**:

"The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart."

Ron blinked in confusion at the thin strip of paper in his hands. He then crumpled the paper into a ball and tossed it over his shoulder. "That's not even a fortune! If you take the fortune out of fortune cookie and all you have is a bad tasting cookie."

"Are you done?"

Ron glanced over at Kim's direction. "Something wrong?"

"We picked up Rufus from the car right?" Kim said.

He nodded.

"Then we stopped by the store to pick up some of your sister's favorite ice cream, and a newspaper for your dad right?"

"Ya."

"Somehow you spotted an old arcade game and you felt like playing for nostalgia reasons, I watched you play five "lives," then you realized you hadn't had fortune cookies in a long time and we got some of those."

"Productive evening wouldn't you say?"

"You're stalling" Kim snapped.

"What?!"

"I know what you're doing, you're hoping I get tired and go home."

He paused, for awhile. "I am not."

"You're still trying to keep me in the dark huh?" She leaned in close to him, uncomfortably close.

"I would never…" he stammered.

"You're right, I'm not just in the dark, I am in a black hole, blindfolded."

"Wow that is some deep dark…."

"Are you trying to convey to me, oh so subtly, that your parents are embarrassing?"

Ron shrugged. "My parents are relatively normal in the embarrassment department."

"Your sister?"

"My sis is pretty cool."

"So what's the problem?"

Ron ran his right across the back of his neck and took in a deep breath. "I uh…it's just that over there it's harder for me to contr...uh never mind."

"Tell me the problem and maybe I'll understand."

Swiftly he brought up the newspaper to shield himself from Kim's glare. "Wow these are some killer ads."

He quickly scanned the newspaper for any resemblance of an advertisement. "Check this out fifty tampons for just three dollars."

Kim snatched the newspaper from his hands.

"No strings attached….."

Kim crumpled the newspaper up into a ball.

"Sounds like a bloody good deal…."

Then she unceremoniously tossed it into a nearby public wastebasket

"You done with the bad jokes?" she asked.

"Very." He exhaled. "To clarify that was the act of a very poor defense mechanism

"I understand. You can lead the way Mr. Stoppable."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well here we are." Ron announced as they stood quietly before the Stoppable residence. "This is where I spent my formulative years."

"What years?" Kim grinned.

"You know the formatalive…."

"Come again?" She teased.

"The early years!"

Kim glanced around taking in her surroundings "I suppose the word you were looking for is formative."

"I suppose you suppose correctly" Ron muttered under his breath.

Kim turned one hundred and eighty degrees; she stepped off the Stoppable front porch, glanced around and stepped back on the porch. Ron watched in silent confusion.

"What are you…uh...How am I supposed to respond to what you're doing?" He asked eventually.

"My mind is being blown; you live like less than five minutes away. You can probably throw a rock into my front window from here."

"I kind of had the same reaction when we got to your house."

"You did, I didn't notice it."

"It was an internal reaction" he explained.

"Well…" she sighed. "It's perfectly reasonable to see why we never met. I mean we did go to different schools. I went private."

"Again product of the state" Ron said raising his right hand.

"My school had specialized after school programs, I spent my afternoons and weekends there when my parents had to work."

"I ran home to watch television."

"Club Banana?" She continued.

"Comic book store."

"Library?"

"Arcade."

"Museum of modern and Avant Garde art?"

"Come on, that doesn't even exist….does it?"

"See." Kim sighed to herself. "The chances of us meeting were pretty slim."

Ron nodded. "They probably got worse when we left home, weird how things worked out."

"Yeah weird" Kim replied with a hushed tone.

"So close, yet so far away, y'know."

"Right."

What followed was a less than golden silence. The two friends twittered on their heels while they stood across for each other. Ron anxiously ran his hands across the back of his head while Kim glanced off into the neighborhood. Ron hemmed and hawed the seconds away as he collected his thoughts.

"Would you call this uh….Is this what they call an uncomfortable silence?"

Kim turned towards him. "I uh I don't know what to call this."

Before either one could utter another word, the front door of the Stoppable home swung open. Their heads whipped towards the threshold to see Mrs. Stoppable step out into the night.

"Mom?"

"I thought I heard something, come in, come in." Mrs. Stoppable said cheerfully.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Truth be told it was a heartwarming scene. Richard and Cheryl Stoppable graciously invited Kim Possible into their world. In a whirlwind of activity, introductions were made, pleasant small talk was exchanged, and snacks were handed out. And it happened so quickly from Ron's perspective, that he found no time to significantly monitor the progress of the evening. It was as if they had been shanghaied into situation. One second they were at the door and in the next they were in the Stoppable living room sitting beside each other on the couch. Ron had been truthful in saying his parents generally were a normal source of embarrassment for him, which was typical for most parents. Thus his guard was reasonably lowered. In hindsight this would be a mistake, one he didn't realize until he was staring at himself on the television screen in his parent's living room. Ron stood up with an incredulous look upon his face before the television.

"What's going on here?"

Kim and his parents stared up at him as if he had just crashed the party. They sat there, gathered together as if were the most natural thing in the world.

"Home videos?"

"Oh don't worry." Cheryl said dismissively as she held up a DVD case featuring the Stoppable's on the cover. "It's not any old home movies, it's the highlights. A 'best of' so to speak."

"Explain to me again how this is not insane."

His father adjusted in his seat. "Well you rarely bring any lady friends home, so we took this as an opportunity to pack everything in at once."

"Somehow I think there's been a misinterpreting of the foundation of this relationship" Ron said.

Mrs. Stoppable waved him away from the television. "This is the one we sent in to America's funniest families! Let me set it up. Now this happened recently, Grandma Estelle requested that Ron cook for her seventieth birthday."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The camera shook slightly as it focused on Ron's dour face. His mother's voice suddenly came in clear from off screen.

"Hello sweetie, how are you doing in here?"

Adjusting the chef's hat on his head Ron glared at the camera. "How am I doing? Let me see I'm hot, I'm greasy and I've lemon pulp in my eye."

He pointed to his right eye that now featured a reddish tinge from irritation. He tightened the apron strings around his waist and sighed. "I could be so copacetic under the shade of a tree right now, just me, the cool breeze, the soft grass, and a portable video game system. But instead I'm here cooking dinner for every Stoppable in the tri state area."

The camera zoomed while a female hand reached on screen and pinched Ron on the cheek. "Just think of the smile on Grandma's face."

Ron nodded. "Hey I'm willing to go the extra mile for grandma-ma but……this would be so much easier if….you know….there weren't so many people in the kitchen!"

The camera swung around revealing about a half dozen or so Stoppable family members milling about the kitchen, some engaged in small talk, others raided the fridge and party coolers.

"Dad, what are you doing!"

The camera swung back to Ron who was currently staring to the left. The camera panned to the left where Richard Stoppable came into focus as he curiously licked the tips of his fingers.

"I think the chicken should be marinated in….barbecue sauce."

The camera panned back to Ron.

"What?" He said incredulously. "It's not chicken….it's quail!"

The camera returned to Mr. Stoppable as he pondered on the statement. "Hot sauce?"

Ron groaned off screen.

"Your father's knowledge of gourmet food…..is not why I married him."

"Just stay away from the stove dad" Ron bemoaned with the camera centered on him again. "You guys are so distracti---"

Before Ron could finish his sentence a thick white glob-like substance hit him in the right ear. His face distorted in disgust, Ron wiped the slick ooze from his face.

"Look everyone its cream of geek!"

The camera switched off Ron to his teenaged cousin Shawn who was cracking up in a far corner of the kitchen.

"Shawn that is rude!" Mrs. Stoppable blurted out from behind the camera.

Suddenly Ron's five year old tiny tot of a sister stepped into the camera's view. She glanced at Shawn before bowing before him at the waist.

"Everyone chooses their own path. You have chosen to dishonor my brother; if you have guts you will accept my challenge."

Shawn glanced at the camera in confusion. "Huh?"

"Hai!" Hannah took a fighting stance before she quickly planted her tiny fist into Shawn's crouch. The boy let out a muffled whimper before collapsing to the ground in a heap.

"Hannah! Hitting is not allowed you naughty girl!" Cheryl exclaimed.

Hannah hid her glee by bowing for a second time. "I'm sorry, but the warrior cares not if he's called beast or a dog; the main thing is winning."

"She's right mom." The camera went back to Ron who was grinning from ear to ear. "The main thing is winning…Let me guess Han, that quotable is from…Win Chung Kung Fu of the Gods part 2?"

"Part one." Hannah shouted from off screen.

"Vintage" Ron nodded. "Although I appreciate the backup lil sis, remember the classic line from IP Man the wandering warrior…. 'The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life.' Remember that lesson grasshopper."

"OK!"

"Oh my goodness!" The camera whipped towards the left. The oven comes into view with the door hanging open and flames sprouting from the inside. Richard Stoppable stood a few feet from the inferno, looking everything but innocent.

"What, did, you, do?" Ron shouted.

"Um….Hot sauce..." Mr. Stoppable stammered as he rushed to a nearby cupboard.

"My quail!"

Hannah jumped back in front of the camera. "Everybody!" she shouted. "Stop, drop and roll!" The little girl quickly dropped down onto the ground and began rolling along the kitchen floor.

A moment later Richard Stoppable returned with a fire extinguisher and let the foam fly. When the commotion finally died down, Ron peered into the oven. With a sheepish look on his face Richard shrugged at the camera. "Pizza…?"

The camera tilted down to the still rolling Hannah. "Stop drop and roll, stop drop and roll" she continued to call out mirthfully.

"Hannah you're going to ruin that beautiful dress! You haven't even had it for a week!" Mrs. Stoppable blurted out.

"No pizza, it's not over yet…..." Ron pulled his face away from the over with sooty residue covering most of his face. "This is for grandma's sake!"

Hannah suddenly jumped up to her feet. "Oh yeah round two!"

"Stepping up for grandma" Ron shot a fierce look at the camera. "What's our fowl situation?"

"We're all out." His father announced. "But I can run out and get a few buckets of fried chicken."

"Do it!" Ron blurted. "Bring me the junk food and I shall Ron-cycle it into a dream meal."

Hannah leaped into the air again. "Ron-cycle!"

Ron re-tied his apron strings and readjusted his hat. "Change of theme folks we're going from French chic, to Southern dandy!'

"And I'll help" Hannah exclaimed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I forgot all about this" Ron chuckled. "Grandma ended up loving the meal, I still can't believe I managed to pull that off…." He stopped when he noticed no one was paying attention.

Mrs. Stoppable placed her hand on Kim's shoulder. "He only brought his last lady friend by the house once or twice. You'd think he was ashamed of us."

At the end far end of the couch Ron leaned forward. "You're making a great case for yourselves tonight aren't you?" Ron turned to his father "dad!"

Mr. Stoppable pointed at the screen. "This is a good one; this is the first stage of Ron's first identity crisis."

Ron brought his palm to his face. "It's called teen angst; it's as American as a football shaped apple pie!"

"Let me set this up for you Kimberly." Richard said. "Ron we've noticed at times tends to get a little melancholy. So we have little discussions about life and such with him. In this particular case one thing led to another and Ron became a philosopher for two weeks. He went around pontificating on the great questions of the world."

"It only lasted a weeks and a half…" Ron stated as his voice once again came from the TV.

"_If you choose not to decide have you made a choice?"_

"That's a legitimate question" Ron said quickly.

"_Would a fly without wings be called a walk_?"

All three heads turned to Ron at the same time.

"The intellectual backlash in this house is very disturbing." Ron blurted out as he rose to his feet. He turned to Kim, "you don't want to watch anymore right?"

Kim glanced up at Ron and their eyes met. She saw the pleading look on his face, and then she caught sight of the expectant faces of the older Stoppables through the corner of her eyes.

"Well…while I am enjoying the video I'd actually like to meet Hannah."

A smile flashed across Mrs. Stoppable's face but it disappeared as soon as it appeared. "Oh actually it's her bed time…..and well, she's been a bit down lately" She said sadly.

Kim noticed Ron's eyebrows furrowing in concern before returning to Cheryl. "What's happened?" she asked.

"Well, Swimmy passed away today."

"Swimmy died?" Ron muttered. "That reeks."

Kim studied the faces around the room. "Um Swimmy?"

"Han's pet fish" Ron replied.

"She's taking it hard." Mr. Stoppable explained.

"A fish called Swimmy, that's uh unique." Kim stated.

Hands in his pockets Ron rocked back and forth on his heels. "Well you know kids and their imagination," he chuckled.

"Didn't you name him son?" Richard Stoppable asked. "And planty, and scaly…?"

Ron once again placed his palm against his face and sighed heavily.

"Son you should know she's taken a vow of silence over Swimmy's death."

Ron nodded. "Street Fighter Sisters, her favorite movie. The main character Lian Xianxe takes a vow of silence, after her kin were killed by the evil Mao Tian."

Mrs. Stoppable's face blanched. "Oh dear, how long do you think Hannah will remain silent?"

"For Swimmy?" Ron mulled the thought over in his head. "Three days."

"Your really know your sister." Kim remarked.

"She uh….I guess so."

Kim turned her attention back to the Stoppable's. "Well that's too bad I was looking forward to meeting her. I've heard so much about her."

"Why don't you two go and check up on her."

Kim looked over at Ron and noted a moment's hesitation. "Well I don't want to impose."

Ron skipped quickly into the dining room snatched Rufus' cage off the dining room table and returned to the living room area. Then he made a sudden and abrupt gesture with head. "Come on, she knows I was bringing a friend, if I don't introduce you, I'll be in the doghouse…"

With that said Kim rose to her feet and followed him out of the living room.

"No hanky panky up there!" Ron heard his father say with a chuckle as he and Kim climbed up the stairs to the second floor of the house.

Ron sighed. "KP you've got a good handle on the law, is there any way I can spin it as a crime of passion at my trial?"

"Depends, if you kill them after I leave then the State will probably see it as premeditated."

"I figured." Ron muttered as he reached the top of the stairs. "I'm sorry you had to sit through that vid."

"Actually I found it to be very enlightening."

Ron stopped and allowed Kim to walk past him. "Enlightening how?"

Kim glanced over her shoulders. "Well I have two new theories about you, and now I need the empirical data."

She turned away and he called out after her. "Hold on…….remind me what empirical means?"

She turned to him. "Well a central concept in the scientific method is that all evidence must be empirical, or empirically based, which means dependent on evidence or consequences that are observable by the senses."

"Huh…..so you're going to test me?"

"I never said that."

Ron narrowed his eyes at her. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying…. I'm going to get to know you."

Ron opened his arms out wide. "You know me....enough"

She responded to him with an arched eyebrow. He wanted to rebut but he found the eyebrow gesture more disarming then any argument she could have possibly made. He stood in silent befuddlement before coming up with something clever.

"OK, if you don't know who I am, then why are you my friend?"

She opened her mouth to answer but Ron cut her off. "Wait, don't answer that, I rather not know."

Kim pursed her lips in apparent reflection before nodding to herself. "I've got three theories now."

"FYI KP, you're _not_ making me regret bringing you over." Ron stopped before a door, reached out and tapped lightly against it. "You know I've never knocked on my own bedroom door before. It's feels so wonky."

"I would ask what dictionary I'd be able to find the word "wonky" in, but I'm more interested in why you've stopped knocking."

Ron stared intently at his door. "Hey I am genuinely weirded out by this situation."

Kim sighed. "Are you sure she's in here?"

"If she's upset, she will be. Chances are she's asleep in my old bed."

"That's adorable. I remember when my brothers were that cute."

Ron raised an eyebrow of his own. "I see what you're trying do. You're trying to find common ground between us in an effort to get to know me….how diabolical."

"And I see what you're doing, you're still stalling." Kim reached down, turned the knob on the door and pushed the door open.

"After you" she announced.

Ron stood still at the edge of the doorway. He closed his eyes and smiled brightly.

"What's the matter now?" She asked.

"One second please, I'm enjoying the delicious irony of a _girl_ dragging _me_ back to _my_ room."

Kim placed her hand on his back and shoved him lightly into room. Ron stumbled forward with his arms flailing. He turned towards her with a disappointed look upon his face.

"Oh come on, I rarely get to be on the good side of irony!"

At that moment Kim was no longer paying attention to him. Her eyes were quickly scanning the room; however it revealed nothing to her but a single bed, a nightstand, alarm clock and a window. The entire bedroom was mostly empty and cast in white paint as if someone had given it a good scrubbing with bleach.

"What did you think you'd find, hmmmm?" Ron asked.

"I had theories."

Ron leaned in close to her. "Liiiiikkkkee?"

Kim shook her head, "it's practically bare."

"Problem?"

Kim glanced around the room one more time. "No, I just…..no not really..."

Meanwhile, the child occupying the bed only a few feet away yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She sat with her dark eyes fixed eagerly on the two figures in the room but they still had not noticed her

"….it's just a little sterile that's all.'

"Sterile? If that's not on the bottom of the list of words a guy wants to hear in his bedroom…."

"Over exaggerating much?"

"Much or not enough….?"

Presently Hannah watched the two friends before grabbing a plush cat doll and placing it beside her for a grand seating to the show. Then she reached under the pillow she had been sleeping on and pulled out a post-it pad and a tiny pencil. This furtive movement on the bed finally alerted Ron and Kim to her presence.

"Yo sis! Ron exclaimed as he placed Rufus's cage on the nightstand.

Hannah greeted Ron with a nod as he sat down beside. Wrapping his arm around Hannah, he pulled his sister into a tight embrace.

"Vow of silence?"

Hannah used the pencil to scribble on the post-it pad. She tore the top piece from the pad and handed it to her brother. Ron read the note out loud.

"_Honor to the fallen_."

"I understand, but mom's going to be worried, so you can't let this go on for more than three days or she shall freak."

Hannah tilted her head and offered her brother a crestfallen look.

"No, none of the cute stuff, the fallen will be honored enough after three days."

Hannah frowned, before nodding silently. Her attention then turned to the third person in the room.

"Hey Hannah this is my friend Kim Possible……She's um, she…she's." Hannah looked towards her brother and he wilted under her gaze. "She's great…I mean…she knows martial arts."

Hannah's glanced over at her brother's friend and Kim met the curious eyes. "I've dabbled a bit in a few styles. I mean I haven't perfected my technique but I am fairly confident in m…."

Kim paused as she realized that she was trying much too hard to impress a six year old. She then decided to change subjects for fear of sounding conceited.

"I'm glad I can finally meet you Hannah, though I wish it was under better circumstances. I'm sorry about Swimmy.'

Looking dejected Hannah nodded once again. Ron placed his hand in his sister's hair. He cleared his throat. "Hannah in the dualism of death and life there is a harmony. We know that the life of a soul, which is finite in its expression and infinite in its principle, must go through the portals of death in its journey to realize the infinite. It is death which is monistic; it has no life in it. But life is dualistic; it has an appearance as well as truth; and death is that appearance, that maya, which is an inseparable companion to life."

"Seriously?" Kim asked.

Ron looked up at her. "You didn't get it?"

"I got it….sort of….but you're trying to help your sister not me; she's not going to get it."

"Oh right." Ron turned to Hannah who stared blankly back at him. "I should have considered that before I did all the net research" he muttered under his breath.

Hannah rolled her eyes and pulled herself from her brother's embrace. She then lay back in the bed with her back to him.

Ron glanced down at his sister. "Ouch."

His eyes went from Kim to Hannah and suddenly Ron appeared very defeated. His shoulders slumped, and his arms hung down like they were carrying heavy shopping bags.

"This would be a good time to tell her about fish heaven." Kim said suddenly.

Ron stared at her with confusion. "What?"

Kim winked. "You know, fish heaven, you were telling me about it earlier"

Moments away from asking Kim if she was feeling alright, a post-it note slid its way past Ron's shoulders.

"_Tell me"_

Ron peered down at the note and the puzzles pieces fell into place. "Oh fish heaven…yeah I can't believe I forgot about that."

He grabbed Hannah and placed her on his lap. "See Han, Swimmy might have been sick but now he's in a better place now. He's in fish heaven, and it's a great place. First of all, in fish heaven you don't live in water, you live in chocolate milk. Isn't that right Kim?"

"Ah yes…..chocolate milk with cinnamon and bits of marshmallows." Kim said quickly.

Ron placed his fingers on each side of his neck. "Can you imagine how sweet is to have chocolate milk going through your gills."

Hannah nodded and he forged ahead.

"Secondly but more importantly, no more of that nasty fish food you sprinkle on the top of the bowl. That stuff tastes terrible Han, trust me. How would I know? Well Hannah your brother is the wrong kind of curious. Now if you add poor judgment, and the luck of a thirteen foot tall leprechaun, with a broken mirror and spilled salt in his pocket, that happened to be born on Friday the 13th under a ladder, you'll realize your brother's life is one seemingly……"

Kim cleared her throat.

Ron stopped and inhaled deeply. "Right, fish food is terrible. In fish heaven, fish get to have people food…..Except there's no fish on the menu because that would be fishybalism, and there's no fishybalism in fish heaven. So Swimmy won't get any tuna wraps but he'll get a nice slice of seaweed pizza with a thin crust…and a thick layer of……

Kim watched over the scene, Ron was now completely lost in his own story. However, and this was the most important detail. Hannah was entirely captivated by her brother's tale. She looked at her brother unblinking and apparently hanging on every word. It occurred to Kim that this was likely not the first time Ron had captured the little's girl's attention.

"….OK here's the thing. I know you're still going to miss him. Hey I'm going to miss the little dude too. But even though Swimmy might be gone, we've still got memories of him."

He tapped Hannah on the forehead. "You're still going to remember Swimmy right?"

Hannah nodded.

"If you keep remembering him then he's not really gone."

Hannah appeared to reflect on this and then she wrapped her arms around his waists.

Ron gave her a peck on the head. "Awww, hey how about I get you a bowl of ice cream before bedtime?"

Hannah pulled herself from Ron's body and nodded.

"Ladies, chillax, I'll be right back"

Ron departed and it was as if he had taken all the energy out the room with him. In its place he left a heavy pressure in the air that one would feel moments before a thunder storm. It was something Kim hadn't expected to say the least, especially after things had gone so well with the elder Stoppables. Kim ran her hands together as Hannah looked her over once more before directing her attention to Rufus' cage. Kim's eyes fell on the plush cat doll on the bed.

"Let me guess, kitty?" she said after snatching it off the bed.

Hannah looked over her shoulders; she glanced at Kim and then the doll. Swiftly she grabbed her pencil and pad. In a few moments she handed Kim a note.

"_His name is Spot_!"

A smirk came to Kim's face. "I should have known. Ron's sister alright."

Kim looked down just in time to see Hannah offer her another note.

"_You are pretty_." It read.

"Oh thank you." Kim knelt beside the little girl feeling very pleased. "But you know you've got me beat in the cute department."

Hannah grinned and her pencil went to work. Kim received the note graciously.

"_Good answer_ _+ 1_"

"Huh? I'm not sure what…"

Abruptly Hannah reached over and tapped Kim lightly on the chest. Then her pencil danced across the front of the pad.

Clearly confused Kim received the note.

"_You are smaller there than the last girl. But your face is prettier_."

"Oh well…." Kim shook her head attempting to stop the blood coming from her cheeks. "I um…" to her surprise she found herself wrestling with a sudden mix of jealously and relief.

"….Thank you Hannah, though I see Ron hasn't gotten to the filtering system talk with you yet."

Kim briefly eyed the door. "You want to know a secret? It seems to me, from the home movie and your interactions, that your brother acts normal around you more than anyone else."

Hannah cocked an eyebrow.

"Relatively normal…normal for Ron" Kim said quickly. Hannah nodded in apparent agreement.

She sighed whimsically. "He's quite a character, your brother."

Hannah tilted her head to the right and their eyes locked again. She bit her bottom lips and worked the pencil across the pad again.

Once again Kim took the note.

"_You want to make him smile"_

"That would be good for everybody" Kim said not knowing for sure what the child meant. "I think he should smile more."

Another note.

"_Are you asking for me for help?_"

"Come again?" Kim inquired.

With a roll of her eyes Hannah pried the original note from Kim's hand, waited for three seconds and then handed it right back.

Kim considered the little girl's proposition and though she was still confused about what Hannah had to offer, she nevertheless found the idea intriguing.

"Yes, I guess I am. Hannah I could really use your help. If we work together we can make your brother smile a lot more."

Hannah grinned before gesturing for Kim to follow. The six year old led her to the bedroom closet. Hannah pulled the door open and an avalanche of items cascaded to the ground. Kim quickly itemized the contents in her mind; there were a few Captain Constellation action figures, two or three swimsuit magazines which she focused on for a few seconds before scanning to the comic books, video game cases, monster movie posters, posters of monster movies, GWA wrestlers and Snowman Hank, DVDs, Bueno Nacho and Diablo sauce wrappers, various forms of Smarty Mart branded keychain flashlights, a T-shirt with "meh" emblazoned on the front, Japanese Pocket Puzzles, a "grow Your Own 1up Mushroom" novelty toy, a mini Pet Cactus, and many other peculiar items.

"I should have thought of the closet," Kim mused, shaking her head side to side slightly.

Wordlessly Hannah dove into the mess and literally swam her way into the back of the closet. As Kim sifted through some of the items, she picked up what she thought was a Rubik cube but was in reality an alarm clock. Hannah returned from the depths of the closet with a thick book under her arms. She scribbled out a quick note, slapped it on the cover and handed it to Kim.

Kim read the note.

"_Buried treasure_."

She glanced quickly at the cover of an elementary school year book.

"This is a tremendous breach of privacy." The redhead replied.

Hannah offered her another note.

"_I won't tell if you won't_."

Reluctantly Kim opened the book and began to scan the pages; eventually she fell upon a page that was halfway torn from the spine. As if someone couldn't bring themselves to completely rip the page free. Peeking down at the page Kim saw that Ron had circled a girl's picture. She studied the picture deeply and with a critical eye. Hannah in turn studied Kim. Moments later Kim closed the book and sighed.

"Buried treasure huh?"

Hannah nodded.

Kim handed the book back to Hannah. "Thanks Hannah that really helped. So what do I owe you, a new friend for spot…some candy?"

The little girl pondered for a moment before a large grin came to her face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron was halfway up the stairs when he heard peculiar sounds coming from the general direction of his room. Strangely enough it sounded as if someone had shouted "Hiya" and then this was followed by a muffled thud. Holding the bowl of ice cream with both hands he sprinted up the stairs and pushed through his bedroom door. He wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting to see but it was quickly apparent that whatever happened had ended before he had arrived.

"There's a weird energy in this room" he stated.

Kim sat coolly at the foot of his bed and Hannah lay on her back by the headboard staring at the ceiling and suspiciously breathing heavily.

"Welcome back" Kim said nonchalantly.

Hannah placed her hand in the air and waved a greeting. His eyes narrowed, Ron inched closer to the two in his bedroom.

"Something happened." Ron said with a squint in his eyes, as he handed Hannah the bowl of ice cream. Hannah exchanged the bowl with another note.

Ron stared at the note, then Kim, then at Hannah.

"What does it say?" Kim inquired.

"She likes you…I figured she would, but hmmm."

"Oh" Kim smiled cheerfully. "I'm glad we had a chance to bond."

"Bond how?"

Kim glanced at her watch. "I better get home."

Ron paused for a beat. "K, I'll walk you home."

With her mouth full of ice cream Hannah pointed to Kim and gestured for her to come closer. Kim walked over to the little girl and Han motioned for her to come even closer. Kim leaned over until her face was inches away from Hannah's mouth. Ron's sister lifted her head up and whispered discreetly into the red head's ear. Though instinct told him to protest, Ron watched over the scene quietly. He wouldn't readily admit it, but he found the idea of his sister enjoying Kim's company to be more appealing than he initially thought. He was creating a list of pros and cons when Kim pulled away from Hannah with a confused look on her face.

"Um….sure….I'd love to Hannah. I'll try my best."

With that said the two exchanged enthusiastic goodbye waves and Kim followed Ron out of the bedroom.

"She broke her vow of silence." Ron said as he closed the bedroom door behind them. "What was so important that she had to say it to you?"

Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not sure, maybe you can help. What's a tingle lady?"

Now it was Ron's turn to be confused. "Tingle lady?"

"She said if I want I can be the tingle lady….and the way she said it was like she was giving me permission."

"Huh," Ron said with a shrug. "Well let's say sayonara to my folks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I can't believe my dad hit you with the old 'I'm not really forty, I'm actually thirty nine, ninety five plus shipping and handling' joke...the worst part is that he officially shouldn't be using it for like three years now."

"Your parents were very enthusiastic," Kim remarked as they walked down the fog drenched block containing the Stoppable home.

"Yeah well I uh, it might surprise you but, I haven't had many chances to bring a lot of girls back home."

Visibly amused Kim watched him closely.

"Yeah, I'm not the best looking guy in the world. Put me next to Brad Pitt, you can say he's better looking than me no question."

Walking beside him Kim purposely stepped into Ron's path and bumped him slightly off balance. "I don't think you needed to go as high as Brad Pitt" she teased.

Regaining his balance Ron quickened his pace to catch up to her. "Ha, ha, you should take that act to the stage."

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Kim said when they were once again walking side by side.

Ron thought over her question for a sizable amount of time. "Shoot."

"Two things first, the first one is that I want to apologize. I'm sorry."

Ron's eyebrows furrowed nervously. "Apologize for what?"

"That's where the second part comes in. You have to promise you won't get mad."

"Why would I get mad?"

Kim blew out a breath. "Because of how I got the info leading to the question."

"Alright….I can't promise I won't get mad. That's technically impossible, getting mad might be my initial reaction to what you're going to say. So then I'd be breaking the promise with it being beyond my control."

"Fair enough…….who's Cynthia?"

Ron tripped _over_ his _own two feet_. As if his legs had suddenly become self aware and decided to go their separate ways. He fell to the ground, and Kim aided him in getting back.

"I think I sprained my ankle a little" Ron cried out. He balanced himself on one foot and glared at Kim. "How?"

Kim shrugged sheepishly. "Lucky guess?"

Ron groaned. "I see the bonding…Y'know …I…I didn't go to your house…being all analytical…and…snooping…and…getting to know…stuff."

"I quote 'when did you have any fun Kim' do you remember that one?" she retorted.

Ron ran his hand across the back of his neck. "Tha……that wasn't…. that was an observation not an assessment, there's a difference."

"Do tell?"

"I can't stop myself from observing something in the presence of my eyesight." He answered.

"Well in any case I suppose your assessment may have been right."

Ron stopped and faced Kim. He studied her face for a moment. "No wait, hold the phone, I'm the victim here. I'm the one who has been collaborated on by my friend and sister."

"You're right, and I'm really sorry for invading your privacy like that."

He wasn't sure how he knew but at the moment he wholeheartedly believed that she was being sincere.

"I uh, I'd rather not talk…."

"You don't have to say anything now" she interrupted. "But I just want you to know that these ears are open."

"I don't think I want or need to…"

"Open ears, 24/7 like a Bueno Nacho drive in," Kim interjected.

"Anybody ever mention how persistent you are KP?"

"Only with things I care about." Kim turned and continued walking towards her parent's home. "If you're not upset, I'll see ya tomorrow."

Ron drew in a few quick breaths before dash/hopping over to Kim's side.

"Unfortunately mama raised a gentleman; I said I'd walk you home. So I'm going to do it."

"It's only a five minute walk."

"So?" Ron said.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I'm a little annoyed at the moment but not mad enough to stop walking."

"Thanks." She said as she began to smile.

"I…I figure I might as well uh….play along and let you observe and analyze my kindness. But you should know I am aware of your master plan."

She rolled her eyes towards the night sky and smiled. "You figured me out; I am befriending you out of spite."

"I've been in weirder situations."

"I'm very sure."

"I notice you're a little too quick with the humor tonight."

Kim chuckled as she latched onto his arm.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Upon reentering his home, Ron made a beeline to his own room. Hannah had to have been the culprit behind Kim's discovery. He recalled the day two years ago when he had rediscovered the year book. He was still dating Zita at the time and Ron had been fixing up his room knowing for sure he would eventually have to bring her over to meet his parents. After spending some time staring at the book he noticed then that Hannah had been in the room. She remarked on how sad he had looked. The same day Ron had stuffed everything completely into the closet.

As expected Hannah was still up and about. He stepped into the middle of the room and their eyes met. There was a moment of frozen silence, as the two siblings stared each other down like two western gunslingers. Ron counted his heartbeats, ready to pounce.

Eventually he's spotted the mischievous Hannah gleam behind her eyes and he knew she'd break. He was right, a few second later a smile grew on Hannah's face. She puckered her lips and made kissing noises in the air.

Ron rubbed his hands together. "Looks like it's time for the tickle monster."

Hannah squealed out loud as Ron chased her around the room.

* * *

A/N Well hopefully it lived up to the last chapter. This is my third "Hannah" each one a slighly different version of the last. I enjoy writing for her and her interactions with Ron. I know she didn't get good press during the show itself, but I like working with them. So anyway Kim's on the war path, Ron's on the defensive, something's got to give. Got my Graduation to prepare for but my next two updates will be awesome if I do say so myself. the prologue for something new and possibly....MW. Thanks for reading.


	9. Love Child pt 1

A/N OK I'm back, good to be back. Whenever I start writing out this story I'm surprised you folk still like it.

A few details I'm going to throw out.

Revisionist History: Kim and Ron are home for Spring Break, initially it appeared they would be home for a weekend. But a few days needed to pass in Middleton for what will be obvious reasons once your read them.

A few changes in the Cynthia plot-line coming. This will be prominently addressed in the next chapter. But just as a head's up I've changed some things in the first chapter.

This is actually maybe about a half of a larger chapter, but I decided that I might as well fire off what I had available. I am currently working on the next chapter, so that should be posted very soon. It's my next update for sure.

About A Ron is probably pound for pound my most liked story on this site. The thing about that is I snipped numerous plot lines from that story for the sake of getting to the ending quicker. I could easily do that with this story. I've thought about it, but I've decided not to. Of course this will extend the story, but for good reasons. There are a number of issues that need to be worked out. And I think it will be a better story overall. Additionally some of the plot lines from this chapter on, will seem similar to certain plot lines in About A Ron. Outcomes will be different of course.

I haven't forgotten about any of the characters (I.E Ken) they will all have critical roles to play in the future.

Excuse the song-fic-nes in this chapter. It's an obvious plot device XD and since you're reading this story, you probably enjoy cliches.

* * *

"You've come to the right place."

Tim cleared his throat dramatically, though it was barely heard over the noise of Jim typing furiously over a keyboard. Jim basked in the glow of the notebook screen as Tim walked by and patted him on the shoulder.

"We've been thinking about starting a P. I. business for awhile now."

Kim eyed Tim skeptically. "Since when?"

"Since we saw 'The Big Sleep' last night with dad."

"Great movie" Jim stated as he continued typing.

"Excellent movie," Tim reiterated. "Inspirational."

Massaging the base of her forehead with her thumb and forefinger Kim inhaled and exhaled loudly. "Never, ever, ever, ask the tweebs for help."

Tim opened his arms out wide. "What? We guarantee success. We'll find Ron's former flame in no time."

"Wait" Kim muttered. "What does this have to do with Ron?"

Tim rolled his eyes. "Come on ma'am. We know this about the blond man; obviously you hired us to find his ex."

"Whoa, whoa, we're broaching upon a misunderstanding. She wasn't his girlfriend, she was his friend" Kim revealed.

"Judging by your hinky play, it's safe to assume he had strong feelings for this dame right?" Tim remarked.

Kim shook her head, "_we _don't need to be assuming anything."

"Horse-feathers!" Jim blurted out without taking his eyes from the notebook. "It seems to me Big Cheese, that we've got an obvious case of a pushover stuck on some chippy, who took him for a ride."

Kim's eyes went from Jim to Tim, "Big, cheese?"

Tim checked his watch; "I'm the head P. I. for the next fifteen minutes. Then he'll be the Big Cheese. Either way we're the best gumshoes in the business."

"Clearly I have made a tremendous error," Kim sighed.

"Don't worry." Tim said reassuringly. "We've seen this a million times. Your daisy rube of a friend got a bum steer by some flimflam chick. You want revenge, get her behind the eight ball, play her some of that chin music, cool her out and get her counting the lights."

Kim rose off her bed. "Alright, well it's about time I say good night to you both. I'm sure you guys are familiar with the exit."

Tim made a move to stop her, "Wait, wait, wait. We can't possibly stop now."

"Why not?"

"It was your idea!"

"Wrong, it was my mistake," Kim countered.

A mistake yes, but it was an honest one. It wasn't long after Ron had dropped her off at her door that a jittering and buzzing swarm of "Cynthia" had descended upon the once tranquil field of her curiosity. Ron obviously did not want to broach the subject and a true friend would respect that wish. Even though she considered herself a very good friend of his, within the span of two hours after her conversation with Ron, the "Cynthia" grew aggressive; they buzzed and buzzed until Kim had gone mad. Mad enough, irrational enough, to seek the help of her brothers. Worst of all it wasn't as if she couldn't have done the search herself, however she was well aware that the twins could get it done much, much faster than she could.

"We'll stop the hard-boiled talk, I promise." Tim pleaded

"That's the good news guys; you can do your Sam Splade and Tracer Bullet act to your heart's content. _In your room_."

"First of all sis, its Sam Spade not Sam Splade---"

"Strange, I don't see anyone heading for the door" Kim interjected with her hand gesturing in that direction.

"---Secondly," Tim continued. He pointed to himself and his brother. "We're all interested in the same thing here. How can any of us sleep not knowing the fate of the Daisy Buchanan to Ron's Gatsby."

Wordlessly Kim scrutinized her brother with her eyes.

Tim lowered his gaze. "I uh, was doing an English assignment on the Great Gatsby before this entire situation started."

"Puuuuulease, he loves that book. He's read it like a billion times."

Tim Possible turned quickly towards his brother. "Only for assignments… Jim."

"Only a guilty person would have the nerve to lie to their twin," Jim remarked without averting his gaze from the notebook.

Tim turned his attention back to Kim, "Anyway."

"He also likes Jane Eyre," Jim blurted out said quickly.

Tim once again cleared his throat loudly. "Anyway, before we were rudely interrupted by a big mouth liar, we were about to reach an agreement."

"Actually we were….." Kim paused. It occurred to her that like Ron, the tweebs held puzzle pieces of their own. It was normal for her not to have picked up some of her brother's quirks right? She didn't need to know everything about the tweebs, but did she know enough?

"You like Jane Eyre?" she inquired.

"Like it, he loves it" Jim snorted. "He kept the book under his pillow for like three months."

Kim cooed. "I didn't know you were such a romantic Tim."

Tim's eyes went towards the heavens. "Oh geez, this cannot be happening."

"Y'know Tim if you ever want to talk that about...."

"Whoa," Tim cut her off with the wave his hand. "OK this isn't about me; this is about your boyfriend's EX."

"Excuse me?" Kim sputtered. "Didn't we have a conversation earlier about assuming things?"

Pleased that he had managed to get the spotlight off himself, Tim let out a sigh of relief. "The cat's out of the bag sis. We can work alone and deal with the situation as we see fit. Or alternatively dear sister, we can work under your supervision."

"Under my supervision?" Kim repeated.

"Totally."

Kim met her brother's gaze. "Whatever info we find you'll keep it a secret?"

"Who are we going to tell?" Tim asked.

She continued to stare him down.

"How about this, we'll keep anything we find to our selves… Until you tell Ron you went behind his back to search for this girl. Then its public knowledge."

The stare down continued.

"I really shouldn't be doing this" Kim muttered.

_However_

"How are you going to find her?" She asked.

"Social networks duh, everyone under thirty years old is on the SN grid," Jim answered.

"I knew that, but what if she changed her name, if she had gotten married?"

"That's why we had you sketch from memory what you saw in her picture. We'll scan the sketch into our computer and run it through the facial recognition software we developed."

Kim placed a single hand up in the air. "You have facial recognition software....why?"

"Well we got grounded for a week last year, and we had some free time on our hands yadda yadda. We also created a robotic leg for the pet hamster of a friend of mine."

Kim shook her head, she had almost forgotten how annoyingly brilliant her brothers were. "Listen I appreciate the help...sort of. But I'm starting to have ethical misgivings about this whole thing."

"Who is it going to hurt sis?"

"How about Ron? Just by telling you guys I've betrayed Ron's confidence, searching for her makes it even worse. No, we need to shut this thing down."

"Found her!" Jim shouted.

Km and Tim exchanged glances. The timing of the discovery seemed too good.

"Really?" they said in unison.

Jim gave his brother and sister a "who is the man" grin of satisfaction. "Cynthia McGannon is one of the patrons of the website 'myLife,' her status bar say she's single, her mood is _feisty_, she's got some pics to share and uh... hmmmm."

Tim and Kim watched on in confusion as Jim's headed slowly but steadily continued to tilt towards the right until it rested at a seemingly uncomfortable forty-five degree tangent from his shoulders.

"Are you sure it's her?" Tim asked.

Jim remained silent. He stared at the computer wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

Tim looked over at Kim and shrugged. "Jim?" he said when he turned back to his brother.

Jim drew in a sharp intake of air; it was eerily similar to a person just breaching the surface of water before running out of oxygen. After a few more clicks of the mouse he looked up at his brother.

"Well I can safely say I am in love," Jim said a moment later. "Or something very close."

"What?" Kim and Tim said in unison.

"Timothy, please join me for a second. This is a Code Orange alert." Jim said his face a mask of seriousness.

"Timothy?" Kim turned to Tim only to see his departing shadow on the wall. She turned back and found Tim hovering over his brother's shoulder.

Jim began to whisper to his brother as he clicked loudly on the mouse. "See this folder is tagged---I thought it was a joke right but---"

Tim gulped loudly in return. "Now she's dressed as Eowyn of Rohan."

_Who?_ Kim thought to herself.

"Click on the next pic!" Tim said impatiently.

She was interrupted when the tweebs gasped at the same time. "Slave Leia!" they said simultaneously.

"Hey you know what I wouldn't mind? Someone cluing me in."

She watched as Tim begrudgingly pulled his face from the light of the screen.

Tim formed a pyramid with his fingers and placed under his chin. He sighed with the professionalism of a doctor about to tell a patient some bad news.

"Uh OK, Eowyn of Rohan is an awesome babe from Lord of the Rings. Slave Leia, well even the tightest square such as yourself knows is obviously from Star Wars."

Right eyebrow arched Kim shrugged. "So.....?"

"First of all we don't know anything decisive yet. If anything, she might have lost a bet or something."

"Here's her favorites list: Book, 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' Movie, 'Fearless Ferret and Sparrow.'"

Tim's eyes narrowed suspiciously at his brother. "But that movie was an epic failure. It's universally accepted as a natural disaster."

"I was shocked at first, but then I noticed the 'LOL' in addition to the colon, half parenthesis, combination she put right after the title. It was ironic Tim, wonderfully, deliciously ironic."

Tim wiped at a gleam of sweat from the top of his upper lip with his finger before turning to his sister. "OK it's not confirmed but it looks like she might be a 'Nessie'."

"A what?" Kim said with obvious exasperation.

"A 'Nessie' is what those in the 'geekdom' often refer to as a really, really, hot geeky girl. Most guys have never seen one in real life, but there are dozens of blurry pictures of alleged 'Nessies' all over the net. Most of them are fake, but some of us like to believe they actually exist."

Speechlessly Kim stared at her brother for a beat or two. "Oh, as in the _Loch Ness Monster_, I get it. But um..." she chuckled.

"I know you guys are teenagers and all but let's not get worked up over a few pictures."

Fingers interlocked Tim sighed. "Here's the thing... No offense, but she's way, way, way hotter than you."

Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "Excuse me?"

"As much as it hurts me to say this as your brother, objectively speaking your girl next door, all American traditional beauty and charm have its appeal. But this is...this is a different beast altogether."

Kim nodded to herself. "Yep, this is exactly how I expected my night to go, me standing in my room, irritated and stunned as my little brother comments on my looks. It must be divine retribution of some sort."

"See...uh sis...Plato suggests there is a mathematical basis for beauty...a balanced relation between sections in which heavenly bodies approximate in a greater degree to the sum of all parts."

"The science of love," Jim sighed softly as he stared, mesmerized by the screen.

Kim shook her head. "Oh good grief, you can't be in love, she's just a picture on the screen."

Jim closed his eyes and smiled brightly, "ah first love."

"Oh come on!" Kim exclaimed.

Getting her brothers to search for her, no telling her brothers anything...at all, was a monumental error on her part. She sincerely regretted that now, but she couldn't turn back time. The least she could have done was to not gaze upon the pictures of Cynthia and further her indiscretion. At least that is what she had decided before her brother's had gone hormonally insane. Their reactions to the pictures had annoyed her to the point where before she fully realized it herself she was peering at an enlarged, high-resolution photograph of Cynthia as "Slave Leia." She was dressed in a cloth skirt with plastic bikini bottoms on front and back. Her chest was covered (barely) with a bikini top held on with elastic cords. Cynthia peered at the camera giving the viewer a sultry look.

"She's not that much better looking..." Kim bit down hard on her bottom lip. "I mean beauty is a subjective thing anyway."

She glanced at her brothers. They stared back at her in silence. Everyone in the room knew she was shoveling manure. In all honestly Cynthia McGannon might have had the most perfect body Kim had ever seen. 5'9 and tanned, a diamond belly button ring glittered in the center of her perfectly toned stomach, the carved contours of her calves and legs artistically complimented her thighs and seemingly firm buttocks. She topped it all off with high cheekbones and a flawless complexion.

Kim wasn't even going to scrutinize the chest area.

"She's this hot and she's a geek, it's impossible, it's like dividing by zero, the universe should be collapsing in on itself." Tim muttered.

"Are you sure this is the same girl? The picture I saw, she had braces, and glasses and what I'm pretty sure was a pimple on her forehead."

"What are we amateurs? We aged the sketch. This is a 99% percent match" Jim said. "Obviously the ugly duckling must have evolved into a far, far superior being of incredible hotness."

Kim glared back at then notebook. She regretted that things had come to this point, but whatever point it was that they had reached, it was leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. The swarm of "Cynthia" had finished nesting on her field of curiosity and was buzzing down upon her last nerve.

_OK reality check. She didn't look like this back when Ron knew her right? And looks aren't everything, there's always something to be said about personality, and charm, fresh breath too…...Let us also not forget she was the one who betrayed his trust... just like I did just now... hmmmmm._

"If Ron sees her again, he's going to fall hard," Jim said.

"Most definitely," Tim agreed.

Kim literally tossed them out on their ear. Having been hurled from Kim's room countless times in the past, the tweebs tucked tumbled and rolled clear from immediate danger like professional stunt men. By the time she had slammed her door shut they were instinctively making their way back to their room leaving giggles and chuckles in their wake.

_It is time to prioritize._

Kim knew she would be better off working on her term project than cyber stalking someone she didn't know. Her eyes scanned the miscellaneous trophies and awards lined up around the room. Yes, she had more important things to do. Besides, working or studying always kept her mind off of any unpleasant details that she might find herself dwelling on.

As she considered what part of her project she should tackle, the door to her room opened and her father's head peeked through the door.

"Hello Kimmie cub, we're all going to get together later and watch a movie. It'll be just like old times. Now since I know better than to ask the boys, I was wondering if you have any recommendations."

Kim shook her head. "That sounds sweet dad, but I'm going have to pass on that. I've really got to get to work on something for school."

"Oh, but aren't you on vacation?"

"Yeah, but I'm kind of in the working mood. And I do my best work when I am this focused."

"Well alright, I suppose this will be just like old times," James said as he smiled weakly. "Hey if you change your mind, you know where to find us."

With that said James pulled back behind the door and Kim plopped herself onto her bed. She dragged Panderoo into her arms, and let her mind shift into a more serious mode. A moment or so later she lifted her head and glared at the laptop on the end of her bed.

"What am I, in high school?" She said while giving Panderoo a little squeeze. "Her boobs were probably fake anyway."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She smiles and her face fills the screen. "I think things went well"

"Went well you say?" Ron's voice comes through now as the camera shakes slightly.

The memory is apparently being shown from a fist person viewpoint. Documentary style with a bit of "shaky cam" tossed in.

"Let's see, my parent's embarrassed me, you betrayed my trust, and I think I broke my leg."

"Well when you say it that way... it sounds horrific"

The camera points downwards towards the floor. "Well it _sounds_ horrific...."

"But?" Kim coaxes

Ron's shuffling feet come into camera view. Suddenly the camera lifts upwards and the focus returns to Kim's face. "But it wasn't as horrific as I thought it would be. All things considered in many ways it could have turned out much worse."

"I had fun too." Kim agrees. "That's not to say I don't feel bad about what happened..."

"Well." The camera moves up and down, establishing a shrug on Ron's part. "Well I am expecting a written apology, Times New Roman, twelve font size, double spaced."

Kim glances over her shoulder at the camera as she climbs up the stairs of her front porch. "I'll be sure to get working on that right away."

The camera stops moving at the bottom step of the porch. Ron apparently goes no further.

"Please see that you do, Miss Possible."

Silence.

"Are you sure you're not upset anymore?"

"No." The camera swivels from the left to the right. "And here's why. In the time it took us to get from your house to mine, I've come to the conclusion that your interest in me and my past is the same interest as when a person discovers a strange new late night television show."

"Uh-huh."

The camera aims downwards and focuses on Ron's hands. "See, hear me out, when you watch a TV show for the first time you don't take it to seriously, your thought process is "let me see where this goes." The first episode is a little weird, you don't quite get it but you know it's not like the other shows. So you decide to watch the next episode, and then the next. Eventually you realize you've invested a lot of time in the show, you're wondering if anyone else is watching. You're on the Internet looking for plot points you may have missed. Why did this happen, why did this character say that? You find yourself at school trying to pieces the puzzles of the show together. It's almost the season finale and you still don't know exactly know where the show headed. Is he eventually going to snap and get hauled off to the nuthouse? Is he going to lock himself in his room and live off his parents and eventually his sister? Will he turn it around by winning the lottery, falling in love, and leaving behind a line of descendants who end up being the key to saving the world from a race of warmongering space pirates from beyond _Alpha Centauri_? Who knows what will happen? But you have to see how it all plays out, because you're certain when the weirdness does finally come to some kind of conclusion, it'll blow away any 'Twilight Zone' craziness, any 'Outer Limits' strangeness or any 'Lost' mysteriousness out of the water."

Kim looks at him inquisitively.

"Or not?" Ron responds quickly. "Maybe you're just a nosy friend?"

"You are....from a land beyond eccentric....no offense."

"None taken."

"However in response to your two theories, I admit maybe it's a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B." Kim declares.

"So then it would be in my best interest to walk away from this friendship right now?"

She smiles, she shrugs, she says. "That is entirely up to you Mister Stoppable."

OK, let's compromise. Since I still can't figure out how to handle myself around you totally. You deal with my occasional weirdness and I'll deal with your occasional demanding-ness?"

Right eyebrow arches, a curious look. "Demanding-ness?"

Ron's open palms come up from the bottom into the camera shot. "OK maybe Demanding-ness is too harsh.....Your insisting-ness?"

"When have I ever insisted?"

"You just insisted a walk you home on a broken leg---"

"OK for the record, your leg is not broken, but more importantly you are the one who insisted on walking me home. It was unnecessary but it was sweet."

"Hey we can play the blame game, who betrayed who's trust, who broke who's leg or we can compromise to save this friendship."

She rolls her eyes. "You forgot to add annoying, it compliments your weirdness."

"Yet, you're smiling." Ron responds.

"Who said my smile had anything to do with you?"

"Well there's only three options; either you were smiling with me, you were smiling at me, or you're plain crazy, because I'm the only thing out here worth smiling about."

"Ah Ron, is that some of your ego I see peeking through? I could have been smiling about something I remembered. Something that just came to me out of the blue."

"That's very convenient," Ron adds.

The chuckles and giggling subsides into an awkward silence as both parties run the previous conversation in their head. They do so while wondering if it had sounded as surprisingly flirtatious to the other party as it had to them.

"So good, our relationship has evolved." Kim stated. "We've gone from good friends to great friends, with the potential to go further."

The camera zooms in for an extreme close-up of her face. "Pardon?"

Her eyes dart back and forth. "I mean go further as a friendship. Like from great friends to close friends, it has that kind of potential, ahem, which is always good... you know what I'm saying."

The camera pulls back. "Of course... I know what you're saying."

Awkward silence part deux. Someone coughs.

The camera pans away from Kim's face into the street as Ron seemingly averts his gaze. "So I'm going to go. We'll hang tomorrow... If that works for you."

"Yeah tomorrow's good. We're going to hang in the afternoon right?" she says quickly.

"Yeah, sounds like a plan." he responds quickly.

"OK... I'll call you..." she says.

"I'll call you," he says.

"We'll call each other, that's what friends do."

"Makes perfect sense to me. Good night."

"Good night."

The camera begins to shake as Ron starts quickly down the street.

"Oh wait Ron, hold on."

"Huh?" The camera turns back to the Possible residence.

Kim is still on the porch. She opens her mouth to speak. "Are you going to wake up now big bro?"

"Huh?"

"BIG BROOOOOOOOOOO…"

Ron's eyes flickered opened and he was quickly greeted by the teeth, tongue and gums of his less than quiet little sister.

"…OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He clamped his hand over Hannah's mouth. "So you haven't simply broken your vow of silence, you've shattered it."

Hannah took the opportunity to leap onto her prone brother's body.

"Are you awake now?"

"Obviously."

"Good." Hannah squeaked. "It's almost time for breakfast."

"Now Han, didn't we talk about little sister not messing up big brother's dream time?"

Hannah placed both her hands against her face. "Sorry, I forgot."

Ron reached over and softly pinched her cheek. "Don't worry about it."

She peeked through the cracks between her fingers. "Was it a good dream?"

"Yes it was."

"A kiss dream?"

Placing his knuckles against her head, Ron expertly executed a firm but somehow light noogie upon his sister. "You are way, way... waaaaaaaaay too young to know about kiss dreams."

Squeaking loudly Hannah rolled off of her brother to avoid the noogie's burn.

"Anyway it was a memory not a dream so it never got to that point...."

Puzzled Hannah stared at her brother.

"And it never would have gotten to that point. Because we're friends....in the dream and in real life... So..."

She continued to stare blankly at her brother.

"My point is, even if it had been a dream, it wouldn't have happened because friends don't have kiss dreams about each other. It would be wrong and a betrayal of dream trust... you understand?"

"No," she said simply.

"Fine, that's all good because you shouldn't know anything about kiss dreams anyway. You're too young."

Hannah considered this for a moment. Before puckering her lips and making kissing noises.

This of course prompted another visit of the tickle monster.

XXXXXXXXX

Yawning loudly Ron wearily shuffled into the kitchen.

"Teach me more stuff?"

He glanced down at his right foot where his sister's arms were currently draped around his ankle. Like a boat and its anchor he had been dragging her around for a few minutes now. She made it obvious that she had little to no regard for the cute new star embodied pajamas their mother had recently purchased. Mrs. Stoppable would be sore but Ron had calculated it would take less energy for him to drag her about for a few minutes than to convince her to get off. Besides she was enjoying it.

"Teach? Han with my history of failures, I'm the last person you should ask for a lesson."

"Teach me or I'll poke you."

"Poke me?" Ron asked nonchalantly as he opened the fridge.

"Five finger poke of death right in the big toe" Hannah said forcefully.

Ron tsk-tsked as he snatched a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator. "Han, what did we learn from the Nineteen Seventy Two classic Punch of Fury?"

Hannah held out a fist as Ron dragged her to the kitchen table. "How to punch?"

"Bzzzzz wrong young one. Remember how Sensei Suzaki of the Snake Clan wanted the secret scrolls of the Eagle clan. Now instead of asking Master Yujaing of the Eagle Clan Suzaki politely to learn the secrets, Suzaki decided to 'poke' Yujaing with the powerful 'Snake Fist' technique until the secrets were revealed. And as we both know, Yujiang decided to die honorably instead of betraying his school and his ancestors."

Hannah bowed her head slightly. "A noble warrior."

"Han, you should never hurt someone to get them to do what you want, that makes you a bad guy. You'll have to wear black clothes all the time, stroke your beard constantly and you'll never be able to laugh normally without having to throw your head back towards the ceiling. No one will like you either, oh they might fear you, but you'll be the last person they invite to Christmas parties. Oh and another thing is, if you go around poking people, someone might poke you back. Remember Chen Wei the best student of the Eagle clan school? To avenge his master and his school, Chen Wei poked all the greedy bad guys in the Snake School. Then he faced off against the last boss Suzaki, in Snake Fist Vs Eagle Claw. At first they were evenly matched but Wei eventually defeated the evil Suzaki and you know why?"

Hannah shook her head but continued giving attention that would be best described as rapt.

"It wasn't because of the speed and strength of the poke, but the heart behind the poke. The techniques of the Eagle clan are powered by the heart. Only those of pure heart could master the 'Eagle Claw'. Suzaki was cold, greedy and evil and thus his techniques were defeated. Remember the last words of Master Yujiang 'a cold heart backing a hard fist makes for a weak soul. A strong soul is a hard fist backed by a pure and warm heart.'"

Hannah appeared to reflect on this for a moment before looking up expectantly at her brother. "Teach me the Eagle Claw please?"

Ron poured himself a cup of orange juice. "Why do you think I know that move?"

"Pure heart, strong soul... Eagle Claw?"

Ron paused briefly, before reaching down and hugging the top half of his sister. "Thank you lil' sis but you may be overestimating your brother's uh--everything. My soul isn't any stronger than the next gu…"

He pulled back from the hug and saw Hannah staring at him with a bright smile upon her face.

"Well yeah, you do need a warm heart to master the Eagle Claw, but you also need lots and lots of training to learn how to do it. Remember Chen Wei had to train in the mountains since he was a little boy. I never had the right training."

"Oh."

Ron ran his hand through Hannah's hair. "You know little grasshopper, sometimes I wonder if my influences on your are too influential."

"What?" Hannah said with childish befuddlement.

Wordlessly Ron pulled her into another embrace, and Hannah gave him an extra hard squeeze.

"Always breaking down my walls....I guess you two girls have something very annoying in common."

"Awwwww, Kodak moment!" Mrs. Stoppable cooed. A grocery bag in each hand she strolled proudly in the room and embraced both her children. "It's so great watching my two cuties getting along so well. I should my camera with me at all times."

"Mom, I haven't been cute since I was seventeen."

Mrs. Stoppable placed her grocery bags on their kitchen table and grinned broadly at Ron. "You'll never guess who I met at the grocery store."

"Yo Dude!"

A pleasantly surprised Ron looked on as Felix entered the kitchen. "Felix! Wow that egghead school of yours actually lets the students have vacations?"

Felix grinned. "M. I. Tech does offer vacations, if you ask very, very nicely."

"I ran into Felix at the store," Mrs. Stoppable announced.

"Got home last night and surprised me my mom. I mean really surprised her; she had to go to bed extra early and get up for an important meeting. This unfortunately meant no breakfast in the morning. So I went out for groceries and bumped into your mom."

"I told Felix you were home and invited him over for breakfast."

Ron walked over to Felix and patted him on the back. "Dude If I had known you would actually venture beyond the safety of your campus I would have made plans."

"Don't worry about, it wasn't really a planned thing. But I am here now, we can still hang."

"Yeah," Ron said as he nodded to himself.

This was indeed a pleasant surprise. It had been a long time since he had spoken to Felix face to face. Of course there had been the occasional more modern form of communication involving emails, texts and messenger services between them. Still there was something quaint about the antiquated notion of talking in person with an old friend.

"So Ron-man, amigo, how have you been?"

"That's totally a loaded question Felix," Ron said with a smirk. "But I can honestly say for the first time in awhile I feel 'OK' ...Literally I feel no more or less than 'OK' in the purest definition of the word.

He paused.

"Now that I have realized this, all the wheels of this wagon should be coming off real soon."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Text flashed by at ninety words per minute along the screen of Kim's laptop. Specialized words, Quotidian words, Latin words and various other forms of legalese poured from her fingertips onto the digital page. Part of Kim's attention centered on the report she was working on, the remaining portion of her attention was tuned to the open webcam window that took up the bottom right corner of the screen. Monique's face featured prominently on the screen.

"And this witch had the nerve to spill soda on my design plans and pretend it was an accident. The plans I had been working all week on!"

"Well she's acting that way because she hates you."

"Oh really? I guess the next thing you're going to tell me is that fresh air is breathable. I know she's hates me Kim, but that's no excuse to act like such a conniving witch."

"You bring out strong passions in people Monique. Clearly she is envious of your immense talent in fashion designing. And as if that's not enough, she's has to compete with your winning attitude, your superior wit, you're indefatigable charm, and your undeniable sex appeal. Obviously she hates you for right reasons."

Monique's grin glowed from the screen. "Kim I know some of what you just said might not be true. But I love that you said it. You should teach a course in cheering people up."

With a quick wink at the screen Kim said, "no big."

"Now with my minor issues out the way let's get to your major one. This email I got last night with the subject header "Oh my God I think this is Ron's ex girlfriend and she might have broken his heart" had a very interesting paragraph "slash" rant and link attached to it."

Kim immediately ceased typing.

"Oh I know this game Kim. You were hoping if you didn't bring it up, it wouldn't get discussed. But this---"

"OK... you have to understand I really, really, shouldn't be talking about this" Kim interrupted. "I already betrayed Ron's trust twi... three times now... I wasn't in the right emotional state last night... So I was a little impulsive with decision making.

"I completely understand. I will say this, the girl from the link you sent me, she is--"

Kim leaned forward in anticipation.

".....Drop dead gorgeous."

"I knooow," Kim whined. "I've never been more annoyed in my life."

"So you're jealous?"

Kim was taken aback. "J-jealous no, why would I be jealous? I'd say I'm more angry than anything."

"You realize that anger can be a form of jealously. Plus you described yourself as being emotional last night. Jealously is also an emotion."

"OK there is a painful skeleton in Ron's closet, that's not a tremendous surprise." Kim said seemingly ignoring Monique's last remark. "This girl may be the source of some apparent pain. And if that is the case, to see that she's turned out so very... UGH... where's the justice y'know?"

"Fundamental tenant of karma girl, it's nowhere near instantaneous."

"Still..." Kim muttered.

"Besides do you even know the full story? Are you even sure they were boyfriend/girlfriend?"

"I assume."

"How long did the relationship last? How old were they exactly?"

"I dunno the exact specifics.......they were preteens I think."

"How did they break up? Why did they break up? Could it have been Ron's fault?"

Kim reflected on the situation for a moment. "No, my gut tells me it wasn't."

"Because?"

Kim shook her head vigorously and resumed typing. "Sorry lost my train of thought. Let's talk about something else,"

"As you wish, how about we talk about me coming down to Middleton? And its potential ramifications upon your life."

"You're coming down? I thought you were going to spend the week looking for a better apartment?"

"I thought so too, then I looked at my bank statements" Monique sighed. "That being said, I am depressed, so I'm coming home. And I am looking forward to painting the old neighborhood red with my very best girl friend tonight."

"As much as I like the sound of that," Kim said. "I've sort of made plans with Ron tonight."

"Then take me with you guys! I need an infusion of fun so, so badly" Monique declared. "Unless of course the third wheel rule in effect" Monique said a beat later with a hint of mischief in her voice.

Kim reached into her pocket and fished out her cell phone. "For the record your implication has been noted and ignored. That said, I don't think Ron would have problem with you tagging along."

"Sounds good, we will be a triple threat. And if things go well, there's a chance I might get you some definite answers about whether 'The Girl' is a problem for Ron or not. I have excellent 'damaged goods' radar."

"No, no, no, any discussion about 'The Girl' is strictly prohibited."

"I also have great 'only wants to be friends'-dar 'Gay'-dar, 'broke'-dar, 'alcoholic'-dar, 'secretly a serial killer'-dar, 'love em and leave em' –dar, 'sugar-holic'-dar, illegal..."

Kim placed her cellphone against her ear. "OK, I get it Monique, you have an impressive array of social radar. However there will be no discussions tonight about 'The Girl.'"

"But what if it comes up in conversation."

"Why would it come up?" Kim exclaimed.

"It might."

"I doubt it."

"We'll see," Monique grinned.

"Don't push it Monique. It's enough that I've filled up a year's worth of my usual quota of guilt in just the last few hours."

"Guilt, jealously---"

"Anger," Kim interrupted. "Not jealously, anger."

"Right anger... directed at another woman... from his past... mixed in with a number of other heavy emotions---"

"You imply?" Kim asked sharply.

"I _infer_...that you've built quite the interesting relationship with the boy."

Pulling the phone away from her ear far, Kim stared at her computer screen with a look of annoyance upon her face. "To be honest I'm starting to have second thoughts."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron plopped himself down on his living room couch. "You see Felix I've had a lot of 'me' time. And by 'me' I mean me, Rufus, a bottle of Pepsi and Nickelodeon's TV land programming. In these, well I call them moments of clarity. I've identified many of the problems weighing me down. Heck, even the problems weighing the earth down, the other day I figured out the cause and cure to depression."

"Oh really?" Felix said speculatively. "Been a while since I've heard a new theory. Lay it on me."

Ron placed one finger in the air. "First of all, 'the cause'... Decisions, decisions and decision making are the sources of depression in this world."

"Please elaborate, professor," Felix said.

"See buddy, every decision we make alters our lives. It changes our story. Who you date, who you marry, what school you go to, what you study, who your friends are, who are not your friends. You may do the pros and cons and try and make better decision, but you'll never be able to escape the 'what if' scenario, no matter how good you do or how good your life turns out. Be it good or bad there's always alternative to your story. The possibility of an alternative story is a reminder that the life we are leading is only one of many possible lives and it is the fact that we can't live them all, we can't experience it all, that feeling that we're constantly missing out on something, is what plunges us into sadness."

Felix stared at his friend in stunned silence.

"So what we need to do is clone ourselves and then through some kind of weird but cool psychic link be able to control these clones so that we could share all their experiences. That would be the end of depression. The downside of course would be the total over population of the earth, which would suck."

Felix sighed. "Ron I've long since theorized if you had some form of serious focus you'd be closer to brilliant than you could imagine."

Ron eyes flickered up to Felix. "Sorry, I zoned out did you say something."

"Yeah....I was just saying how interesting your theory was."

"Yeah Kim said the same thing, a few minutes later though she said I was 'endearingly insane' and I reckon that is a compliment."

"Kim huh?" Felix muttered curiously.

Though they communicated infrequently the topic of "Kim" had come up once or twice. Descriptions of the friendship were brief and concise and therefore blatantly obvious that Ron was once again keeping things to himself.

"So you tell her.....stuff....your stuff?"

Ron yawned indifferently. "I tell you my stuff."

"Sometimes…" Felix conceded. "But she's a girl."

"Who is a friend." Ron stopped and appeared to be working things out in his mind. "And because of the platonic nature of the relationship I guess don't have to be ideal..."

"Ideal?"

"Nothing, just thinking out loud," Ron muttered.

It was just about then that Ron felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He plucked it out and gazed down at his caller I.D.

"Speak of the devil."

Felix watched on as Ron placed the phone against his ear.

"Hey," her voice crackled through barely audible. Ron stuck a finger in his ear.

"KP?" he shouted.

"Yeah."

"Hey how are you doing?!"

"Why are you shouting?"

"Because I can't hear you!"

"Well then wouldn't it make more sense if I was the one shouting?"

"Errrr, I guess you're right," Ron sighed and placed his palm against his face.

"Hold on a moment." There was movement on the other line as Kim moved about.

"How's this?"

"Better, thanks."

"Hey, there's been a new development that I want to run by you. Monique's been feeling a little down lately and I'd really like to get her spirits back up. Since you and I were supposed to hang out today I was wondering if you wouldn't mind her joining us?"

"I wouldn't mind, but see the thing is I have an old friend over at my place now..."

"Oh, you can bring your friend along too. It's only fair."

"Right...fair."

Felix was trying his best not to eavesdrop. But it seemed as if Ron had forgotten he was in the room the second he had answered the phone. It was very amusing though it made it hard for him to remain polite. He couldn't help but catch the general gist of the conversation, especially when Ron started casting furtive glances in his direction.

"I hear you, but I don't know if he'd...'

"I love to go!"

Ron stared at Felix. "Yea... yeah that was him. Seems like he's fine with it... OK, we'll meet up at your place."

He hung up, but he continued to stare at Felix.

"What? You think I'm going to embarrass you?" Felix responded.

"Nah," Ron said as he continued to stare. "I have enough time worrying about embarrassing myself."

"So what's with the mean mugging bro?"

"I don't know. I'm conflicted." Ron's eyes narrowed. "You're a smart Felix, maybe too smart, your ambitious, you've got life goals, and with the eye of a heterosexual male, I can safely say you're fairly attractive."

"I'm flattered, but now you can also say I'm fairly uncomfortable."

"You're a good man Felix, may be too good."

Felix threw his hands up in the air. "So what now, you're jealous?"

"No, no, no" Ron said slowly. "I'm not jealous; some other irrational emotion has taken hold of me. I haven't figured out exactly what it is yet."

"Ron, listen to me. We're old friends; I'd take a bullet for you."

"Out of the gun that I'm shooting at you?"

"OK, Ron I'm going to be honest. This sounds a lot like jealously."

"It's not."

"Why not?"

"Because it can't be. Why would I be jealous?" Ron ran his hand beneath his chin. "No I think it's a whatyoucall uh, premonition.... strong inner feeling or notion of a future misfortune."

"Well it's good to see you've gotten less paranoid since we last spoke face to face."

"Paranoid? No, it's more likely your smarty brain has forgotten the fifth law of thermodynamics, a little thing called Murphy's Law."

"First of all, I can't begin to tell you what was wrong with statement."

Ron suddenly shrugged. "OK, I'm over it."

"Huh?"

"Yeah I don't care if you go out with her. I've got no say in the matter."

Felix's face scrunched up in confusion. "I'm doing what now, with who?"

Ron slammed his fist into his open palm excitedly. "Alright moving on, high school anecdotes! We're high school chums so they're bound to come up. But as they say most of what happens in high school, stays in high school."

"Who says that?"

"Here's what we won't talk about for instance. The dodge-ball incident."

"Which one?"

"Junior year"

Felix winced. "Oh right."

"Next on the banned list, the chess club scandal."

Felix opened his mouth to speak.

"Senior year," Ron said quickly.

Felix nodded in acknowledgment and made a zipping motion over his mouth.

"Oh, and no mention of what happened when I tried out for the team."

"Which team?" Felix sighed.

After a moment's contemplation Ron came to a conclusion.

"All of them."

"KP, when Monique suggested dinner and karaoke...well I was being ironic when I voted for it," Ron whispered.

"Well obviously that message did not come through. Your irony in addition to Monique and Felix's approval equaled an overwhelming majority." Kim whispered back.

Ron ran his hand down the back of his neck. "But come on, karaoke? Monique is cool, she can't possibly think this is that the best Middleton has to offer."

"Actually this is the best Middleton has to offer. There's not really much of a nightlife here compared to Upperton or Go City."

"Well I wouldn't know, if it wasn't for my last GF, most of my night life would have consisted of...um... of um... oh man I'm so anxious I can't even properly self deprecate. I feel my right hand shaking; my right hand is shaking isn't it?"

She looked him up and down. "Actually your left foot is tapping."

"Terrific, now my central nervous system is out of whack." Ron massaged his forehead, "last time I was on stage, I was in high school and I... Kim I'm sorry, but I'm not getting on that stage."

"Ron we're already on the stage."

Ron's head swiveled from left to right as he took in the sight of the audience before him, the stage below him and mini lights above him. It was decent sized room, with a decent sized crowd.

"Oh that explains a lot. How did this happen again?"

"Monique hinted that it would be cute if we did a duet."

"And we accepted because?"

"Because she can be a very persuasive person."

"Well I suppose worst things have happened to me. So how much time do we have left?"

Kim glanced to the side of the stage. "The teleprompter over there says forty five seconds."

"Ugh, that's a life time away. Let's talk about something else in the meantime, it'll get my mind of this recent mistake."

"Are you serious?"

"Rarely am I this serious," Ron replied.

"OK, let's talk about what happened between us last night."

"... You know it might be nice if we mediated in silence."

"I mean there was some awkward silences there."

"...............I wouldn't have called them awkward silences."

"What would you have called them inelegant lulls?"

Ron chuckled as he rolled his eyes. "You reached far for that one KP, but I still dug it."

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "Anyway I believe it can reasonably be said that we probably have reached the point in our relationship where we're feelings things out and testing the boundaries of our friendship."

"Is that what happened?"

"Haven't you ever had a 'feeling out' period in a relationship?"

"Last I checked I was a guy 'up' maybe 'out' not."

"Well it's something that happens, in relationsh-uh-friendships."

"Hmmm, fair enough. I'm glad we worked that out. Now if we could talk our way out of singing or through my fear of public speaking, I'd be solid."

"I thought you said you were good singer?"

"I said I was an adequate singer. Adequate is closer to terrible than excellent."

"It'll be fine... I think."

"Wait you 'think?' How can you reassure me, when you're not sure yourself."

"Well while I am reassuring you, I'm kind of reassuring myself. So you know it's like pumping up a team. It's a duet right? It's a team effort."

Ron turned to face the crowd. "Uh-huh, so is it working?"

Kim did the same. "We're about to find out."

Music began to drift from the side of the stage. It started off low but quickly filled the air around them. A simple melody weaved from the strum of a guitar and rhythmic drumming.

Ron sighed, "I need to work on my usage of irony"

Kim mouthed out the count down from the teleprompter. "3,2,1"

Ron swiftly brought the microphone up to his lips. _"Baby let's cruise..."  
_  
_"-----away from heeeere,"_ Kim sang in turn.

A bit of applause came from the front row. Ron glanced at Kim and she shrugged sheepishly.

_"Don't be confused...."  
_  
Ron gestured to Kim and she jumped in _"---the way is cleaaaaaarrr."  
_  
Tentatively they sang in unison. _"And if you want it, you got it forever."  
_  
A loud whoop came from Felix and Monique in the back of the room. The calculated whoop had the desired effect of a drawing a bit more out of Kim and Ron. Though they weren't consciously aware of it, they stood a little straighter and sang a little louder.

_"This is not a one night stand, baby. Sooooo let the music take your mind. Just release and you will find. You're gonna fly away, glad you're goin' my way. I love it when we're cruisin' together. Music is played for love. Cruisin' is made for love, I love it when we're cruisin' together."  
_  
There came a steady applause from more of the room. It had different effects on the two singers. Using the applause as fuel, Kim's spirits were enlivened. Ron perturbed that the crowd was actually paying attention, turned to face Kim. Mistaking this act of anxiety as one of showmanship, Kim turned to face Ron.

_"Baby tonight....."_ Ron began.

_"---Belongs to us,"_ Kim concluded.

Ron's eyes had continuously transited from a side-glance at the audience, to a hard stare at the top of his microphone until his eyes locked with Kim's. There was a pointed pause as they gazed thoughtfully at each other for a second or two.

_"Everything's right......"_

_"----Do what you must."_

_"And inch by inch we get closer & closer."  
_  
Though neither had initiated the action, the short distance between them began to shorten. Swaying slightly Ron stepped forward as Kim matched his pace.

_"To every little part of each other. Oh baby....Sooooooo."_

_"Let the music take your mind. Just release & you will find. You're gonna fly away, glad you're going my way. I love it when we're cruisin' together. The music is played for love, cruisin' is made for love. I love it when we're cruisin' together."  
_  
Kim laughed softly and Ron gave a throaty chuckle in response. He found that the shimmering green light of her steady gaze had an overall calming effect on him. His half smile fueled Kim as much as the applause from the crowd, any lingering doubts that they wouldn't make it through the performance was quickly fading.

_"Let the music take your mind. Just release and you will find. You're gonna fly away, glad you're going my way. I love it when we're cruisin' together. The music is played for love, cruisin' is made for love. I love it when we're cruisin' together."  
_  
_"Cruise with me baby.....Cruuuuuuuuuuuu-ooooooooooooooo-ise."  
_  
Kim bit down softly on her bottom lip and (so far so good), Ron licked his lips and nodded discreetly (yeah, let's bring it home) in response.  
_  
"Baby let's cruise......"_

_"--Let's flow, let's glide."_

_"Ooooh let's open up....."_

_"---And go insiiiiiiiiiiiiiide."_

_"If you want it you got it forever. I can just stay there inside you, and love you baby."_

"_Let the music…."_

_"---take your miiiiiind."_

_"Just release…"_

_"-----And you will fiiiiiiiind."  
_  
Moving in tandem they rocked slowly on their feet as the rest of the world seemed to fade away. Shoulders rocking, head swaying they brought into the music.

_"You're gonna fly. Yeah, I'm glad you're going my way. I love it, when we're cruisin together. The music is played for love. Cruisin' is made for. I love it, I love it, I love it. You're gonna fly away, yeah, glad you're going my way. I love it when we're cruisin' together."  
_  
The music faded as the applause rolled in. Still facing each other Kim and Ron drew in ecstatic breaths as the modest applause washed over them.

Kim grinned as she wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. "See, we did it. A team effort."

Ron shrugged happily. "Hey it was just singing....in hindsight. It's not like we saved the world or anything. Besides you probably would have done just as fine without me."

She shook her head. "I don't think it would have gone nearly as well if you weren't here."

Ron scoffed. "You have no way of knowing that."

"Well I can't know for certain, but I have a gut feeling about this."

"Your gut doesn't really know...." Ron found that he didn't have the urge to fight. "Well thanks; I uh, hey since your gut believes in me, let it know I have your back if you need me."

Kim pushed a strand of hair from her eyes and smiled brightly at him. "My gut already knows that."

"I uh huh, well." Cutting himself off, Ron simply smirked before letting his gaze drop down to the floor. Through his peripheral he watched as she waved to Monique and Felix, stepped of the stage, and walked back towards their table. Slowly as if recovering haze Ron bowed slightly to the audience and stepped off the stage.

"Girl, you know, during that performance, my 'sexual-chemistry' radar was going off like a smoke alarm at a barbecue---"

Monique's purposefully booming whisper reached his ears when he arrived at their table. Moments later Felix tugged at his sleeve.

"You OK, man?"

"Uh yeah," Ron glanced back at the stage. "I just had a deja vu moment. I shook it off, so it's fine."

"So you're OK?"

"I would hope so," Ron replied a beat or so later. "At least I should be."

* * *

A/N Hopefully you enjoyed it. It was part of a larger chapter so it might not feel "whole." This is more of a transitional chapter, things will make more sense with the next chapter which I'm going back to writing right now. The Cynthia issue comes into play and more KimRon goodness. Read and review.


	10. Love Child Pt2

A/N So I promised this chapter sooner but I got caught up in the holidays and whatnot. Speaking of which Happy Holidays dear reader!

But here we are hope you enjoy. Ten chaps strong, and more to come

* * *

_For the most part, risk management consists of the following critical elements performed, more or less, in the following order: _

_1) Identify, characterize, and assess threats _

_2) Assess the vulnerability of critical assets to specific threats _

_3) Determine the risk (i.e. the expected consequences of specific types of attacks on specific assets) _

_4) Identify ways to reduce those risks_

"So then he calls me up and says, "Felix I've just had the revelation of a lifetime." Turns out he saw an informerical on TV about risk management. His plan was to apply economic theory to y'know romance. I thought he was nuts, but before I could convince him otherwise he eventually, well he kind of fell asleep on the line."

_Possible relationship with Zita:_

_1) Threat to relationship: Fact that she is out of my league/her realization that she is out of my league. _

_2) Assess the vulnerability of critical assets to threat: The fact that I am aware she is out of my league speaks for itself._

_3) Determine the risk: Risk of exposing heart once again to abject humiliation and rejection. Consequence: Newfound perception of happiness as a violent denial of reality. _

_4) Identify ways to reduce those risks: __**Withhold **__truth of regular Ron. Win/Win = through interactions with Zita create second better Ron both parties can enjoy. _

Ron guided himself through the haze of memories and confusion. Slowly but surely he regained his bearing on reality. Piercing things back together he recalled that the group was currently strolling through Middleton Park. Felix was in the lead telling a story he couldn't possibly know. Monique walked beside him hanging on Felix's every word. Kim and Ron were a step or two behind them, occasionally Kim would glance at him and she seemed generally sympathetic but she was also simultaneously attempting to mask her curiosity.

Ron reached forward and tapped his friend on the shoulder. "Wait a minute Felix...how do you know about all this?"

Felix appeared taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I could have sworn I dreamed that entire sequence. Which is why I always thought, my plan was like divine inspiration."

"No it actually happened. We had this conversation."

"Hmmm." Monique said as she turned to Ron with her chin pushed forward slightly pausing. "What I can gleam from this strange parable is that you lie to girls."

"Whoa!" Ron put his hands in the air. "I do not lie; I simply attempt to anticipate everything I believe a girl might want to hear. And if I happen to hide something, its stuff like my continued fondness for animated TV shows aimed at children. I keep certain aspects of lameness to myself."

Felix turned to Monique and Kim. "You think that's off the wall? Wait until you hear his second theory. Three weeks later he calls me up at 2 AM, he got another revelation while he was watching TechTV….."

Felix paused then continued.

"Dude, do you realize you are more honest with me when you're sleep deprived."

Ron blinked rapidly at his friend. "Are _you_, sleep derived right now Felix? You are entertaining people, with stories from my life."

Felix's enthusiasm faded a bit. "But dude these are great stories."

"They're _my stories_."

"And there are two beautiful girls here, somehow paying attention to us. How can you not tell them an interesting story, whatever it may be?"

Ron eyes' discreetly darted from Kim to Monique. Platonically speaking or not, Felix's logic was sound.

"Fine, I'll let this one go."

"Why don't you tell it? It'll be better coming from you."

_Note to self; murder Felix; toss body into sewer; make sure you have an alibi. But will Hana cover for me?… For now recall how the conversation got to this point?  
_  
Ron retraced his steps back through the conversations_. _Monique had asked Felix about the dating scene at Middleton Tech. Then as they compared their respective campuses it was slowly revealed that they were all currently single. Once that was out of the bag Kim, Felix and Monique started discussing the nature of relationships and love. Ron having no control over the flow of the conversation navigated it like he was whitewater rafting. However he made his mistake when Monique asked him whether he believed in love. Instead of giving a generic answer everyone would have accepted, he had replied "under certain conditions." Of course this would absolutely lead to follow up questions. The problem was he hadn't been thinking when Monique asked, at least he hadn't been thinking about himself. He had been thinking about Kim's answer to the question and comparing it to his own. Her answer before his had him wondering whether she truly believed what she had just said.

Naturally Ron started to dance around the follow up questions until Felix decided it was time for a funny anecdote about his old pal's point of view.

"OK, OK," Ron said and the entire group came to a complete stop.

"My theory is this. You know how a computer always has a set of space reserved to restore the operating system in case of a virus attack or some horrific system crash? Well you adapt that kind of thinking to love. As in you should never ever, ever fall completely in love. At most you should only give a person… eighty percent of yourself.

"Eighty percent?" Monique inquired.

Ron nodded. "Eighty percent of yourself is dedicated to love and your partner. Which leaves… twenty-five percent to keep for yourself where only you matter, so you can "reboot" from there, it's your system recovery."

Monique scratched at the base of her forehead. "Um, that's impossible." Actually thinking about Ron's math. "Literally and mathematically."

"It's pretty easy to abstract-ically break yourself down like that when you realize you can't really _know_ another person, because you know they are _another _person. So once you wrap your head around that, you realize that everyone is on, will always be on some level a stranger, you no matter what happens. And with strangers, you're not supposed to fully trust."

When he was done he was met with absolute silence. Ron glanced around reading the expression on each of their faces and it didn't take much deduction for him to come to conclusion that he wasn't preaching to the choir.

Ron rolled his eyes.

"OK, I can't help but notice the _subtle_ vibe I'm getting from everyone. But let's look at the 'Big Picture.' I'm not really that crazy in my line of thinking. The crazy thing is 'Love', and the people who dive headfirst into that shark infested water like it was a backyard swimming pool. See if you can grip on this. The questions 'Why do you love me?' and 'Why don't you love me anymore?' both can have the same fundamental answer. The answer being of course 'because you're you.' Huh, what do you think about that?"

Noticing Ron definitely had everyone's attention he asked, "Blows your mind doesn't it?"

But no response came, only the feeling that he was losing them and fast.

"It's like... come on... this is crazy. Hey folks plutonium is great, it can generate enough energy to power our cities, it makes our lives better to have it, but if you play around with that sucka without the proper precautions, without a proper fear and respect of the humongous amounts of dangers involved in handling plutonium, you will find yourself mutated or dead."

"So, you're comparing love to plutonium?" Felix inquired.

Ron nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes I am Felix. That is exactly what I'm doing."

"Whoa, that girl must have really put a hurting on you," Monique declared.

A moment later the tip of Kim's elbow plunged into Monique's side.

Ron stared at Monique through narrow eyes. "What did you say?"

Monique clinched her side as she winced in pain. "What?"

"What did you just say?" Ron repeated.

Monique drew in a deep breath. "I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did, right before Kim elbowed you."

Ron paused to reflect.

"KP? Why did you elbow Monique, immediately after she said the thing she said."

Eyes still narrowed, Ron held Kim's gaze. After a moment, lip compressed Kim nodded to herself.

"She knows about Cynthia… I told her."

Ron groaned out loud. "Oh come on! Yesterday nobody knew about her but me, now that number has tripled."

"Who is Cynthia?" Felix asked.

Ron grabbed at his hair. "Quadrupled."

"Felix doesn't know the context, he just knows a name," Kim argued. "But if we're going to be technical, five people know because I also told my brothers about her."

At a loss of words Ron simply blurted out a Charlie Brown like. "AAUGH! I CAN'T STAND IT! JUST CAN'T STAND IT!"

"Who is Cynthia?" Felix repeated.

"She was a girl....a friend" Ron sighed.

"A girlfriend? Monique inquired.

"No she was a friend." Ron fumed as he turned his back to the group. "She pulled a tack from my paw a long time ago and we've been friends ever since."

Felix laughed. "Dude that was pretty funny."

Ron glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah, that was totally off the top of my head."

"It was funny…But seriously....the atmosphere around here is pretty thick. So I'm going to assume this Cynthia is really like an ex or something?"

Ron stared at Felix for a moment before flinging his hands in the air. Swinging them about as he paced back and forth he said "OK you want to know? Fine! Since the whole world wants to know, I'll let it out. Its story time boys and girls, story time with Mister Stoppable! Here we go I'm flashing back!"

He suddenly came to abrupt stop. "But first things first."

Ron pointed past the group. "Once we exit the park, we'll find a nice cafe where we can get some of the best scones in the city."

"Wait," Kim muttered. "Weren't you just like in some sort of emotional 'huff.'"

"Clearly Kim, my love of a good pastry outweighs the anger I feel at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very upset… Especially with you KP... But these scones... they're terrific."

"Sounds good, I wouldn't mind a scone, if it's OK with you," Monique, Felix, and Kim said respectively.

The group followed Ron towards the exit.

"OK, let me say something about myself before I go on. After you know this, you get an idea of my life and the story in a nutshell… When my mother gave birth to me, I came out feet first. And I have continued to make the wrong moves ever since."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So you should all know I'm not an 'angsty' guy. Yeah I might complain occasionally.....Wipe that smirk off your Felix. I may lament, but I do appreciate life and what it's all about. See life is not about what happens to you, but how you choose to react to what happens to you. That being said, my reaction to what life has thrown at me since I've been a child has mostly consisted of fear and terror. No terror is too strong a word, apprehension? That's a word right? OK, my typical reactions; fear and apprehension. Wait aren't fear and apprehension the same thing? Well never mind, now that you know what I've just told you, I can safely say my childhood was not an easy one. So let's skip to the most pivotal time in my preteen era, my sentence served as an eighth grader.

It was three weeks into September. And like every Monday morning since the school year had started, a charming lad by the name of Alan Barker and his pals dunked my head into a boy's room toilet. Now Alan's weekly dunking was a conflicted event for me, because at the time I probably hated Alan more than anyone else in the world.

But a part of me envied him. Don't get me wrong, Alan was a arrogant, violent and overall a complete jerk of human being. But when I saw him punch a kid in the face for looking at him funny or vandalizing the school with a scathing one liner written on the boys' room wall, a part of me wanted that freedom. But I couldn't be 'bad.' Which is a major handicap, because life is so much easier when you don't give a darn about most things, especially other people's feelings. Being bad is a skill, an art if you will. And the benefit of being such an artist is that you didn't need people to like you as long as they respected or feared you. It wasn't complicated being Alan Barker, he had a mean left hook, and he was lights out from behind the three point line.

I can see from the looks you all are giving me that you're wondering what an old bully has to do with this 'love story?' Well Alan is a major player in this tale, for one thing. It's his dunking that fateful morning that sent me to the school nurse. Have you ever gotten swimmer's ear from being dunked in toilet water? No? No one? Anyway, it's not a pleasant experience, at all. So there I was, in the waiting room drenched in toilet water and the remains of my self esteem._"  
_  
_"Is this the nurse's room?"_

_I looked up from the puddle pooling around my feet, towards the source of the question. Standing at the door of the room was a girl who had water dripping from her hair and streaming down her face._

_"Yeah," I answered._

_She was soaked to the bone and as she walked into the room she left watery footprints in the shag carpeting on the floor. She approached a chair across from me and took a seat. Unfortunately there came a rather loud squishing noise as her rear hit plastic. She blushed profusely and I averted my eyes to allow her a measure of comfort. Soon I returned my concentration to the puddle on the floor._

_"What happened to you?"She asked._

_I looked around the room to reconfirm that I was her only audience."_

_"Um, got caught in the rain,"_

_Sunlight streamed in golden bands down from the window behind the girl onto her neck.  
_  
_"It was a quick storm, just came and went, so it caught me by surprise. But y'know that's global warming for ya, sudden climate shifts. Really complicated stuff."_

_The girl nodded._

_"What happened to you?" I asked._

_"Uh, water fountain exploded."_

_"Wow, that's sounds dangerous."_

_" I was walking down the hallway and it just happened. I was totally like, whoa."_

_"I'm like whoa by proxy," I said._

_"I know, it was so weird that a fountain would just explode... out of nowhere... never saw it coming."_

_"Did it scare you?"._

_"Nah, maybe a little. But y'know I didn't panic... I'm usually cool about stuff."_

_We both laughed. This predictably, was followed by a few beats of awkward silence, as we both avoided each others gaze. During this lull of self-confidence I dug through my pockets and pulled from them a tiny packet of cough drops. My hands trembled with hesitation for a moment, before stretching out my arm._

_"Here," I said offering the cough drops. "This will take the 'ick' taste out your mouth, and it's fortified with vitamin C so it'll help the chances you don't catch a cold."  
_

_She looked the offering over as if she were suspicious of its contents or the intentions of my offering. Eventually though she graciously accepted the gift and unraveled a piece for herself, before handing the rest back._

_"Thanks," she said sheepishly.  
_  
_"You're welcome." _

_It was a crowning achievement for me, a rare moment with the opposite sex where I didn't babble. So I retreated while I was ahead, and for about the next five minutes I stared at my shoes. Eventually though I caught her looking in my general area. Fighting my better judgment, my God-given natural instinct to avoid danger, I spoke up again.  
_  
_"I didn't know girls gave each other swirlies."_  
_  
She studied me carefully carefully before answering. "It's the twenty first century. Girls can do anything a boy can, maybe even better." _

_She smiled, "except you know, and go to the bathroom standing up."_

_I snorted and chuckled. "A bathroom joke?"_

_"Too soon?" she replied taking in my reaction._

"_I guess it's a little tasteless, considering what happened to us," she said with a grin._

_"I wish it was tasteless," I replied, popping my own cough drop into my mouth._

_"It wouldn't have been so bad then."_

_Laughter._

_She drew in a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Cynthia." she announced and extended out her hand.  
_  
"After that somewhat touching experience, we exchanged bios. I learned that she was currently living with her dad in Middleton, I learned what her classes were, the teachers she hated, which sections of the school she avoided and who her bullies were. This was all before lunch, before recess, before my mid morning nap during math class. I can see now that before the nurse had even called me in, I had fallen for Cynthia."

XXXXXXXXX

"We became friends, pretty good friends. We called each other on the phone every day. We talked about the way that we were and they way we really wanted to be."

Throughout the process of becoming friends I picked up on small details that seemed to confirm what I was beginning to feel. Cynthia and I were both born at midnight, twenty four hours apart, in the same month of an even number year. We both were at the bottom of the social ladder at school. We both had a healthy fear of clowns, we liked ketchup on eggs, we had the habit of sneezing when we passed under a ladder, and we both had freckles on our right big toe. The reason we met is that we both had happened to have our heads dumped into a toilet at the same time. What were the odds of all that? Coincidences? Maybe. But aren't there some religions based on less coincidences and smaller details?

Well even though I was a preteen, it was all beginning to seem like destiny. Now you believe in destiny or you don't. If you don't believe in destiny, meeting a person in a waiting room, who is as drenched in muck as you are, has almost no meaning beside what you think it does. This might be a good thing when you think about it. However not believing in destiny means you have to face the fact that no one has written out your story, and so you're not assured a happy ending. And we all want a happy ending right? Who doesn't deserve a happy ending? Besides y'know criminals and tyrants?

Wait, where was I? I lost track of...oh yeah my traumatizing life experience. So right, we were friends, let's skip ahead to when I really figured out I was in love. And oh, before any of you start thinking it was puppy love, let me tell you something right now. It wasn't puppy pain I was experiencing when everything came down on me like a house of razor sharp cards. That pain was full blown, Shakespeare pain. Hey, Romeo and Juliet were like five years old. That's why whenever I hear someone tell a kid 'you can't be in love your twelve, or thirteen, or fourteen' I scratch my head. Oh because they don't share income tax benefits it's not love? When he's sitting in his room, crying because a song comes on the radio, you walk up to the kid and tell him that what he felt wasn't really in love.

Oh wait, did I go off on another tangent? Well you wanted to hear the story, so you're going to take it with an extra side of ramble. Holy crap you guys need to try this carrot cake, it tastes like divinity.

So OK it was Halloween, and the school was throwing a costume party. Wait before that, I should say this. OK, I had this Uncle Marty, and Uncle Marty liked to party. I swear that was his catch phrase. Whenever there was a party you would find Uncle Marty. The thing is, when the party ended, Unc' would get very, very depressed. When he got depressed he would pull me into a hug and say with the quietest despair. "Kid, men are social animals."

For most of my childhood I had no idea what this meant. I learned though...

Who ordered crepes? Felix you ordered crepes with no strawberries and cream? You don't like cream, are you from this planet? What did Monique order? What? Oh right focus."

"Social animals…"

"So they, unlike a jelly-fish, or a snail. Humans need other people to define their existence. See and I've thought about this, you can't ultimately get a complete feel for who you are unless someone tells you, then you can reject their opinion or not. You can't feel real unless there are other people around who know you are real, they are aware of your realness, and maybe they might end up knowing your realness better than you do.

That being said I decided to go to the school's Halloween party instead of trick or treating to justify my real. I blew a month's allowance and an advance I got from dad on the greatest Fearless Ferret costume I could find, with all the matching accessories. I memorized all the best lines from the blockbuster remake that had come out that summer. I had the walk down, the poses, everything. I can safely say it was an awesome costume. And wearing it made me feel....it gave me a different feel when I wore it. Like it just washed everything away... So yeah I over-confidently walked into the school gym thinking I was going to blow minds.

Well I was wrong as usual. It turned out the popular kids decided a few days earlier that wearing costumes was lame. So they came in with their fresh gear and proceeded to bag on every costumed idiot who had the misfortune of not being popular enough to get the 'no costumes' memo. I didn't have to take three steps into the school gym before I had some jock pointing and laughing directly at my face.

Wait let me back track for a second. I didn't tell Cynthia what I was wearing because I wanted it to be an awesome surprise. She decided to do the same, so neither of us had any idea what the other was dressed as. The plan was to meet up at the party and search each other out.

So there's the real setup. A promising evening turned into a laugh fest with thirty percent of the crowd making fun of the rest. I knew Cynthia was in that mass of acne and hormones somewhere. And I was looking to pull her out before things got bad. As I was pushing through a slow dance between Cinderella and Frankenstein, through the corner of my eye I saw Alan Barker ripping the wings off of the Vulturess.

What? Who is the vulturess? Felix, explain to the ladies who the Vulturess is. That's right, a main staple of The Fearless Ferret's rouge gallery and a long time love interest. Not even knowing I was the Ferret, Cynthia came dressed as the Vultress. Another trivial coincidence for you... frigging universe... anyway, what happened next I blame on the costume."

_Alan Barker looked down at the hand wrapped around his wrist. I looked down at the wrist my hand was currently gripping. I wasn't sure how it had gotten to this point, when I had crossed the room, or I when had grabbing the bully's arm. It was as if I had been pushed forward through time. We looked at our respective hands, both of us equally stunned at the recent turn of events._

_"What are you doing?" Alan asked._

_"I'm not sure" I replied softly. "But I do think you should leave her alone."_

_"Or what?"_

_"Or," I gulped. "Someone will get hurt."  
_  
"I was referring to myself. At that moment I had caught a glimpse of the future and it involved a fist and skull colliding at terminal velocity.

What? Felix I don't care what terminal velocity is. It was like a metaphor."

_Soon enough we both realized that a crowd was slowly forming around us.  
_  
It was as if Spock had the atmosphere by the pressure point. The air was so thick it was clogging up my lungs.

_Chants of 'Fight, Fight, Fight,' echoed off the ceiling and rained down upon us._

"Funny thing, I've never stared a fight in my life. But I've suddenly found myself in the middle of one many times."

"_Alan pulled himself forcefully from my grasp. Noses flaring, eyes bulging, Alan stepped forward and swung furiously. Anticipating the attack I dodged the blow easily. A collective 'oooo' spilled from our audience. Furious Alan continued to swing wildly at me."_

"Bear in mind I've seen the kung fu classic 'Fist of Justice', about three hundred times give or take. I know that movie like the back of my hand. So while I was standing there barely avoiding guaranteed knockout blows, it occurred to me that the main character in that movie had been in a similar situation. Ignoring the fact that the movie took place in World War 2 era China, the hero had the same problem of a large thick headed goon swinging at his head. In the midst of a flurry of punches the hero manages to land a counter punch. As I was barely dodging a blow that would have knocked my head off, I thought, "I think this is about the time Jin Qingquan would have thrown the punch."

So I threw the punch."

_Alan Barker crumpled to the floor at my feet. The entire room fell silent, though I was as mystified as everyone else. I first starred at my fist, and then I glanced up quickly at Cynthia's direction. She looked back at me in awe._

_"Did I do that?" I asked her, and myself._

"The chaperons swooped down on the dance fall and hauled me away. I was lectured about the horrors of school violence. I was told that violence was 'inexcusable,' I agreed. Then I said 'there are two sides to every story.' And my story was entitled 'Self Defense, the unauthorized Biography of Ron Stoppable.' I actually said that, word for word. It didn't go over well with the school staff. So they called my parents. A half hour or so later I found myself alone in the back seat of a Volkswagen, while my dad was inside trying to deflect references to local therapists from the school faculty. With a possible week's suspension from school ahead of me, along with a month's grounding, in addition to my reasonable fear of the future wrath of Alan Barker, it was safe to say I had a lot on my mind when I heard that tap on the passenger's side window."

_Glancing up I saw Cynthia hovering outside the window. She was still in full attire, and it seemed to me that the fake diamond tiara that rested on her head accentuated her chestnut colored hair. The costume had left the nape of her neck exposed revealing very smooth acne free skin. Behind her glasses, her large watery blue eyes refused to look into mine._

_I sighed and tapped on the glass. "Hey it's not your fault."  
_  
_Cynthia smiled and placed her hand against the glass. "I think we should have gone trick or treating instead."_

_My mouth went dry. There was like a sudden throbbing lump, in the tiny space where the neck meets the chest._

"It's hard to declare anyone the love of your life until you're close to death. But shortly after barely surviving Alan Barker's meat fists, it did not seem strange at the time to think of Cynthia in those terms. Yeah, OK, I was twelve, still it was love, and it was something I sensed very suddenly. I fell prey to moment of an almost universal understanding I never had before. I understood now, why people cried during certain songs, or certain movies. Why my mom would let my dad kiss her in the mouth with his morning breath. Why my grandparents, on my father's side, were buried beside each other. It felt like... OK, now I must be an adult because things are finally starting to make some kind of sense.

And I did get a week's suspension and while out of school was a waiting game When I woke up I was waiting for her to call, when I went to bed I was waiting for morning to come. No amount of logic or reason could overcome my childish desire to believe.

So going against my natural instincts as a dude, I wrote a love letter."

_I stared intently at the sealed envelope in his hand. It was the morning of my return to school, and God willing I imagined it would be his last morning without a girlfriend. Hearing a familiar voice call out my name, I quickly stuffed the letter into the locker and slammed it shut. Glancing up I noticed Cynthia coming down the school hallway. _

_"Hey," I said._

_"Hey" she replied. "Welcome back."  
_

_"Um, hey would you like to go to Bueno Nacho after school?"_

_"I don't know, do you want to go?" she asked._

_"I really don't mind, if you feel like going……or not."I replied._

_"If you feel like it, whatever you want," she continued._

_"Either way is fine with me."_

_"I agree."_

_The conversation was confusing to me so I checked. "So do you want to go or not?"_

_"Well," Cynthia thought it over. "Sure, why not?"_

_"You're right, we should go" I concurred._

_"So OK, Bueno Nacho, after school?"_

_"Sounds great."_

"Well not every conversation with her had to be an hour of deep and meaningful chat…Though at the time most of them seemed that way…for obvious reasons, my perception was be a little off... The important thing here is that I had decided to give her the letter that afternoon at Buneo Nacho. It just felt like the romantic move to make. Until then the letter was supposed to rest peacefully, securely, covertly in my locker."

_Anticipation, excitement and hope mingled in my blood giving me a bit of an euphoric high. With the school day finally behind me I skipped happily down the hallways. However I slowed down some when I spied a lone article of clothing upon the ground._

_"That looked like my gym shorts," I muttered as he skipped by._

_Continuing, I ran into a calculator that looked suspiciously like the one dad had given me as a back to school gift. I skipped on, albeit much less merrily, until I ran into my English text book, my brand new notebook, and my s new pack of Ferret pens._

_"My locker!" The words spluttered out of my mouth._

_I ignored skipping and went instead for a mad dash._

_I found the door of the locker ajar, and many of its contents littered the floor. I dove headfirst into the locker. Pushing my body in as far as it could go, my hands explored every corner of the locker. Stricken with horror, I pulled back out and, sifting through the items on the ground, but it was a fruitless search. _

_The letter was gone._

_Who, what, when, how? I had to think things over before panic completely settled in. Locker thrashings were rare but not uncommon. An act of vengeance? Yes and yet it was still a warning of things to come. But from who? Who was angry enough.....Barker. It was clear that Alan and his crew had upended his locker and stolen the letter. But why? What would he do with the letter beside.....revealing its contents to the entire student body! Alan was going to humiliate me by revealing my love._

Faced with what was likely school-wide embarrassment I did what any man would do in that situation._  
_  
I ran home.

The next day it occurred to me; I uh should mention that I faked being sick so I could be excused from school the day. As I was slurping down some chicken noodle soup that my mother had graciously cooked up, it occurred to me that this is exactly what I wanted. What had actually happened was that we added a middle man instead of cutting one out. Sure everyone else would know how I felt, but for the first time I didn't care what everyone else knew about me. The important thing was that Cynthia would know my feelings. She might have been upset about the way the news came out, school gossip is hardly romantic. But it couldn't be helped, she would just forgive me and then we could move on. It didn't matter what anyone else thought, it was just about us. Us against the world you know. I went to sleep that night like a baby, because I knew that, she knew, what I knew--had known for a while.

Before we enter the climax, I've got another Uncle Marty tidbit. On my eleventh birthday my Uncle Marty told me a story about a guy who was lost in the desert. I cannot exactly remember the story word for word but the summary is just as effective. The guy looks in the horizon and he sees an oasis. He sees water, and tress with vast shades. What was actually there in the horizon however was a withered wasteland filled with rabid scorpions. Now the thing is, the guy didn't fool himself into seeing what he saw, he actually saw it. Even though he had no evidence to believe what his eyes was seeing, the problem was that he saw what he did because he was really, really frigging thirsty.

_They laughed, they howled, and they guffawed loudly and proudly. In all honesty, I was used to being the comedic foil to everyone else but for some reason Cynthia's laughter seemed to be the loudest. No it wasn't really the loudest; it was the only one I could hear._

_I hope this doesn't somehow scar me emotionally for the rest of my life was the only thought that appeared in my mind._

Sad? Yeah, it wasn't quite over yet. And why would it? It was barely tragic after all…….I briefly thought about trying to sue Cynthia into loving me. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the government protects all these rights, but not the right to be loved? What was the point I thought? How could you pursue happiness when you are miserable? I should sue I thought, Cynthia was denying me my pursuit of happiness. There should be a constitutional amendment for the right to be loved! As you can see at the age of twelve I didn't have a broad scope of what the Declaration of Independence was about.....But the point was I felt lousy and it almost drove me insane. I should mention that Cynthia's locker was like three feet away from mine. So we ran into each other again plenty of times. You see Alan Barker, was a genius, an evil genius if you will. Beating me up was not going to heal the humiliation he had earned by my lucky punch. He had to crush me, and he did that by making Cynthia popular. And by taking her under his wing by which I mean dating her, he struck quite the blow. But he wouldn't just date her right of the bat that would have been crazy. What happened was all the popular girls went all "extreme makeover" on her. It was like one of those movies where the popular kids turn a geek into super hottie. But instead of learning about herself, and going back to the nerd friends who really loved her, the geek stayed with the popular people, and went on to enjoy the rest of the school year.

Since she was popular she barely acknowledged my existence, so I had to you know stare at her through the corner of my eyes like every day, with the knowledge that I thought she was beautiful before she was beautiful_._

Oh wait a minute. I did say one last thing to her before she completely started ignoring me.

_I shoveled a text book into a locker when the sounds of footsteps approaching reached my ears. I glanced quickly over his shoulders down the near empty hallway before returning my attention back toward my locker. I continued piling books in but stopped abruptly when the footsteps were the loudest._

_"You should love me," I blurted out suddenly. _

_The footsteps stopped. "Why?" the familiar voice asked curiously._

_"Because.....I love you" I said softly._

That's all I had. That little, insignificant, excuse was all I had to convince her. And when she walked away, at that moment I knew it just wasn't enough. It was like a zap of inspiration, I finally got it. She was happy now, she had it all and I was trying to bring her down with that? My love came with "me" attached. Why would she trade away all that because "I" loved her. Why doesn't someone love you? **Because you're you.** And they don't love **you**. That's the bottom line and if you had something more than the current "you" could offer. Things might be different. But then if you had more to offer, you wouldn't really be you would you? You'd be somebody better.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Whoa" Ron said as he leaned back into his seat and took slurped up the remains of his iced chocolate latte. "Bright moments in life always come back vivid" he said sarcastically.

Felix took a sip from a cup filled with chamomile tea. "You've really given that a lot of thought."

Ron shrugged. "Well when something disastrous happens to people, they look beyond casual explanations to uh, explain what went wrong."

He glanced at the two girls who had grown quiet as the story progressed.

"I well," Kim coughed.

"I think what Kim is trying to say is that... we see now that you've been rendered pessimistic by the pains of love, and have thus made a conscience decision to avoid it altogether."

Kim glared at Monique.

"Was that not what you were going to say?"

"I'm sure that was as awkward for you all as it was for me." Ron declared. "On one hand, I had a pretty decent night hanging with you guys. On the other hand, you made me relive possibly the worse period in my life. So let's pretend we broke even."

Ron fished some bills out of his pocket and placed them on the table. "I'm going to leave. And uh, I don't want anyone following me out."

Kim began to speak, but Ron cut her off.

"That goes double especially for you KP." He pointed to himself, "this is operation Cyclops. _I alone_, get it?"

He bowed to his the group. "I bid you all adios" he said before walking out.

"Lost me."

Ron grinned as he ducked behind a parked car. His irritation faded as he listened to the footsteps in the night die away.

He poked his head up and scanned the area. No one was around. There was silence again now, and he could hear nothing but the occasional sound of passing cars. Stepping from behind the car Ron walked briskly down a side road, round the corner and along the wall of a churchyard.

Finally appeased, he slowed his walk. He was wondering how late it was when unexpectedly, he heard a noise from behind him. Turning his head sharply, a flash of red bobbed into his eye before disappearing quickly in the darkness of an alleyway.

He listened, but heard only silence. He turned and continued walking this time at a quicker pace. But still as he walked, he strained his ears for any sound showing that he was being following. Minutes later he picked up on the sound of feet crunching on gravel, coming from behind him.

"Dang it Kim!" he shouted without turning around. "What did you not understand about the cleverly titled operation Cyclops?"

Silence.

"I know it's you! It's you or I'm getting mugged. Which wouldn't be so bad since I know the mugger would leave me alone after robbing me."

There came a sigh from behind him. "Fine, it's me."

"Of course it's you," Ron stated. "Felix wouldn't have searched so hard for me because he would know I'd appreciate him not seeing me in such a vulnerable state. Felix understands the basic principles and codes of being a male friend. Monique probably feels guilty at the hand she played in having me relieve an awful moment. So she'd give up out of respect of my wishes this time around. You on the other hand, even if you did feel guilty. Well....giving up---"

He looked over his shoulders to see Kim in his wake. "--Giving up does not compute for Kim Possible."

He turned away and continued to steadily pick up the pace.

"Maybe so, put I'm still worried about you."

Ron bristled at her comment. "Yeah I was just about to head to the Middleton Bridge and jump off. Listen I may currently be on the longest losing streak ever, but I'm not ready to be cut from the team and I won't drop out. I'm not that guy OK? I do have some appreciation for the little things I got."

"It's not--"

"Plus hey, I'm not the best role model for my sister, but no... never that... AND since death is still in my top five fears, even if I wanted to I---"

Ron yelped in surprise as he was grabbed by the collar and jerked backwards. He started to protest when a wavering minivan rumbled past. It had missed what would have been a sudden and painful interaction with Ron by a few seconds.

He landed on the floor with loud thud. Stunned by his brush with disaster, he lay on his back to catch his breath. Kim let out a sigh of relief and offered him a hand up.

"I didn't think you would hurt yourself. But sometimes when you get lost in thought you lose track of the....environment."

Ron took her hand and picked himself off the ground. He brushed the dirt off the back of his pants and straightened up. "Thanks... for saving my life."

"No big."

Silence

"Are you OK?" she said gently.

"OK? About which? Narrowly avoiding being road kill or the "thing" I just relived?"

"Both?"

"Yeah, I'm OK" Ron said as he walked past her. He took a few more steps before stopping and turning around.

"Coming?" he asked.

Kim looked at him.

"Aren't you still mad?"

"I am sort of, but it's a dangerous neighborhood."

He paused, "And what kind of guy would I be if I let a lady walk around here at night alone. You can walk and apologize right?"

"Oh," Kim smiled knowingly. "I definitely can."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Reentering the park, they happened upon a playground. With it being well into the night, the area was deserted leaving behind a more than a tad spooky atmosphere. However Ron's instinctive fear of various moving shadows wasn't enough to supplant his low spirited demeanor. Kim had managed to remain silent as Ron seemingly worked through, whatever he may have been working through internally. Ron had made it apparent that he was more comfortable having it that way.

She knew that what she wanted to say and what he wanted to hear would probably not be on the same wavelength. Tight lipped she watched him shuffle towards a pair of swings.

"Don't mind me; I'll be good to go after a few minutes. I just need a good sulk."

She considered whether she should say anything at all as she watched Ron silently push himself back and forth on the swing. Moments later she was considering what she should say, and how she would say it, as she walked closer. When she had gotten to the point of standing behind him, gently pushing on the swing, she didn't know what she wanted to say, let alone how. But she had come to terms that something would definitely be said.

"During my freshman year of high school there was this award ceremony to honor the students who did well during first half of the school year. I worked on the committee that helped run the award and I was nominated to sing the national anthem before the ceremony started. At first I thought, hey I could rehearse between classes. Well those rehearsals were far and few between, and when I did manage to have time for practice I couldn't hit any of the high notes in the song."

Kim chuckled to herself. "As the ceremony grew closer I had the idea of watching old home movies of my mom singing, I thought I could imitate her style. You know my mom she could have been a singer if she wanted too, but she set her goals on being a brain surgeon....who managed to find the perfect balance between work and life to raise a family of three."

Gripping the chains of the swings tightly Ron leaned backwards until he was staring up at Kim.

"So instead of asking your mom to help you, you watched old tapes of her?"

Kim reflected on this statement. "Well yeah, I suppose I did....It uh didn't seem like such a strange idea at the time."

"Huh."

Kim continued. "Well the tapes didn't help, I still couldn't hit the high notes and when the ceremony rolled around I was too terrified to even step on the stage. I completely balked on the entire event even though my parents were sitting right there in the front row. Because of that… huge failure on my part I had trouble sleeping for weeks "

Ron used his feet to put the brakes on the momentum of the swing."Wait, are you trying to relate to me?"

It would have been an understatement to say that his comment had taken her off guard. "Yes… no...Yes...I was just--"

Ron sat up and turned towards her. "Double wait, are you comparing the only failure you've had in your life to my lifetime string of failures."

"That's not what I was doing," Kim stated. "And I've had a couple of disappointments in my life as well."

"A couple? When you get to consistent, then you can talk to me sister."

Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "OK, you're just being difficult."

"Difficult, about what?"

"I'm just trying to help!" Kim snapped back.

"How?" Ron said incredulously. "How did we even get to this point?"

"Oh my goodness, just think about it for a second" Kim said with exasperation. "That moment was a source of considerable pain for me, it affected me for awhile and yet there we were like fifteen minutes singing on stage. Something which I totally did not expect was going to happen when I woke up this morning."

"Oh," Ron said as a flash of recognition came over his face. "Subtle."

"It wasn't meant to be that subtle," Kim proclaimed.

Ron pushed off on the ground and resumed swinging. "So that was a "considerable source of pain" for you?"

"Yes."

"Can I ask why?"

She glanced over at him.

"Can't I be nosy?" he asked.

"Fine, for awhile it had me wondering if I was really part of the family."

He snapped his head on her answer. "Seriously?"

"Like I said my mother is a brain surgeon, my dad is a rocket scientist, they are at the top of their fields, even with their family first thinking, which of course I truly appreciate. And my brothers well they were disproving the likes of Isaac Newton when they were five using Lego blocks and pine oil. Don't get me wrong I love my family but compared to them I'm not..."

Ron interrupted her when he rose up out of the swing. He gestured forward with his head. "Walk with me Kim; I want to explain something to you."

Kim started after him. "Oh, yeah?"

"Confident, optimistic types like yourself just can't pull off insecurity and vulnerability. It's a totally a bad look on you KP, it just does not fit you at all."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying, you don't have experience with pessimism colored glasses to do the look justice." He waved his hand before his face, "especially around the eyes area. You're better off working with your 'I can do anything" attitude. The one that comes with the eye glimmers of "righteousness and determination"

"My what?"

"It's in the eyes, it's all in the eyes" Ron stated.

Hesitantly Kim rubbed both eyes with her hand.

Ron looked over at her. "No, that's ridiculous those are just red eyes. All irritation not enough determination."

"Yeah well, I'm not really sure, what we're talking about anymore."

"Here's what's going to happen. You're going to invite me to your grandmother's party."

"You're already invited. My mom even insisted."

Ron paused. "OK, I'm so invited... So I'll come and I'll be me, and compared to me it'll be obvious to your family how special you really are."

Kim stopped in her tracks. "That doesn't sound right."

"Sounds right to me. Hello fam' here's my friend Ron, I can do anything, and he can't."

Kim shook her head vigorously. "That sounds awful. We are so not doing this."

Ron shrugged. "Nah its fine. Besides there's no use in both of us being miserable."

"Well it's wrong, I don't want any part of it."

Grinning broadly Ron swiftly turned to her and pointed two fingers at her eyes. "Ah there it is determination and resilience. And it still looks good on ya KP."

He turned around leaving her blushing a bit in his wake, unfortunately turning around so quickly caused him to be completely unaware of this fact.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They drifted back towards the park entrance. Quietly they walked side by side until Kim took in a deep breath.

"Love is something that is grown, it uh tends to fail allot and first crushes always never turn out to be the best."

Amused Ron met Kim's gaze. "Are we talking about me again?"

"And you should now none of it was your fault." She comforted him. "It wasn't you who chose popularity over love."

"Hold on," Ron said with a wag of his finger.

"Cynthia didn't choose popularity over _love_. She never made the same mistake I did. She chose popularity over _me_. Which was the right move, I would have done the same thing."

In his ignorance, Ron hadn't expected genuine sadness, and the suddenness of it coming over her eyes caused Ron to be momentarily flummoxed.

"That is the saddest thing I've ever heard" She said.

"Oh come, on ever hear of the Titanic? Huh? Compared that, what I just said, can't possibly be the saddest thing you have ever heard."

They stared at each other, the pain showing in their eyes for different reasons though it was the same source. For some moments they could not speak and they searched within themselves to collect their thoughts.

Kim turned her head. "Hey look over there; they're opening a new Bueno Nacho."

"Seriously?" He said as he turned his head to look

Stepping up quickly Kim clasped her arms around him as she embraced him. She hugged him like he was in danger of vanishing at anytime.

"What are you doing?"

"If you don't want me to hug you, push me off."

"This is... this is, that wasn't fair." Ron's arms were held up high over his head as if he was a man unsure of what do with his hands.

"Otherwise, you can just take it and like it," she said as she hugged him tightly.

Ron struggled or more specifically he squirmed weakly against her tight embrace.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

"Multiple reasons actually, most of them revolving around the themes of the past, present and future. Do you want to hear the very detailed explanations?"

"No, I want you to let me go."

She ignored his protest. "Well the past represents you letting me in by telling me about Cynthia--

"Letting you in? You forced your way in! And I basically just told the whole word." Ron sighed he was beginning to thaw under he warm embrace.

"---The present representing our current friendship---"

"This is ironically childish," Ron stated.

"----The future representing my hope that you let me see more of your essential Ronness."

"Come on...that's." Ron made a futile yet anemic attempt to pry himself from her. "That's too much Ron; no one can handle that much Ron."

"I can do anything remember? In fact I can handle it for you if it's too much to bear."

Slowly but surely Ron lowered his arms. This time he didn't hesitate to wrap them around her as he said, "ahh, fine, you win."

"Somehow I knew I would." The warmth of the moment was shown in her voice.

He had tried to keep it at bay. Heaven's knows it had been brewing while he was telling the story. The pressure had apparently eased down when he had finished. But it had spiked up frequently while he reflected internally. Now, well it was apparent to him that the center would not hold for much longer.

"KP?"

"Mmmmm?"

Kim lifted her head from his chest and leaned back so that she could meet his eyes.

"It's about to get really awkward in a few seconds. So I think it would be best if you let me go, turn around, cover your ears, and just ignore any sob like noises you may hear."

"Do you really want me to let go?"

"Yes," he replied, wondering if she could hear the lie in his voice.

"OK"

She lowered her head and him a little tighter. "I'm here for you."

"Awww....Fuji," Ron muttered as he buried his face in her shoulder. Kim rocked gently, holding tightly.

They stood that way for a few minutes. Eventually Ron would sniffle, and pull away. His eyes were red and swollen, he touched his cheek, it had poured out stronger than he'd realized.

"I'm sorry," he said, blinking. "I, I… messed up your shirt."

"Don't worry about it."

He squeezed his eyes shut tight, and then opened them. "So, hey this stays between us right?"

"Absolutely."

Ron ran both his hands across his face.

It time for a life decision to be made. And this decision would be made quickly. He considered scientifically, that the ample lessons he had received from bitter experiences had taught him that every new relationship or intimacy, while at first introducing such pleasant variety into every-day life, had a high probability of developing into a problem of excessive complications. Which usually led to some form of pain and or discomfort.

However when Kim was around he forgot all about these certain experiences, everything suddenly seemed simple and amusing. On the heels of the end of one relationship Kimberly Possible had breezed into his life and offered him the chance of another. And if friendship was the most of what she was willing to offer, it was a gift he would gladly accept it, time and time again.

Ron inhaled and exhaled deeply before stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I knew…I knew you would complicate things Kim when I first met you. You complicate me KP."

Kim shrugged happily. "Well, you can say, we complicate each other."

Ron shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense."

"It wasn't meant to make complete sense, it was supposed to be you know, whimsical and cute."

"Listen leave all the insecurity, the whimsical, and the cute stuff to me. In fact leave all the quirks to me."

"Wait, you can't have a monopoly on quirks."

Ron casually began to walk away. "I can and will."

Kim started after him. "You can't. You know I still sleep with my cuddle bunny."

Ron yawned. "Trust me KP you don't want to play this game."

Kim continued to count off her fingers. "Let's see I eat marshmallows with hot dogs, I've been known to whistle the Scarecrow/Tin Man/Cowardly Lion song at random times. I am strongly susceptible to 'brain freeze.' I mostly drink from plastic or paper cups because I don't really like the feel of glass in my hand."

Ron leaned over and nudged Kim with his elbow. "I just thought of five things for every one you stated."

Kim shrugged. "Huh, well clearly this is a fight I can't win."

"First time for everything KP, first time for everything."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Felix and Monique back tracked their way back to the park, they found Kim and Ron loitering just outside the entrance with their backs to the street.

"I guess they've forgotten about us."

"Seems like it," Felix nodded. "So, what do you think?"

"What do I think?" Monique repeated. "About what?"

"About…." Felix waved his hand in the direction of Kim and Ron.

"I think they've both got a lot of baggage."

"Uh huh," Felix muttered. "So they've got baggage, do we push?"

Monique shook her head rapidly. "No, no never push. You never push someone into a relationship they aren't even sure they want. This is a big decision, especially since their friendship is on the line. Now, I may nudge or poke, but I won't push until Kim decides what she wants. Then I'll give her all my support in the form of a swift kick to the behind."

"Wise words, dear lady," Felix said.

"I am a wise woman?" Monique remarked.

"How _close _do you think they are?"

"Well I'd say one of them is acutely aware of a physical attraction and struggles with it daily."

"My guess is Ron. It's obvious he'd be the first to catch serious feelings."

"Huh, you're right about Ron on one count. But I'm not so sure about the other."

"Really?"

Laughing Ron draped his arm over Kim's shoulder and they turned together. Mid-turn as Ron was going through the first stages of an eyes closed chuckle, Kim reached up and deftly clutched the hand on her shoulder.

"You are a wise woman indeed" Felix stated.

"Sometimes, I even surprise myself." Monique said before she called out for Kim and Ron.

* * *

A/N So hopefully you enjoyed. Next chapter will likely deal exclusively with Nana's party so that should be funny. So a bit more focus on Kim. We'll see Slim and Joss, I may or may not be coming up with a few new original creators for the Possible clan. This is not set in stone, depends on if I can divine any interesting personalities.

Some of you might not think the flashback needed to be emphasized. Well you need to trust me on that, there are reasons for it to have been brought back into the spotlight.

Read and review of course :)


	11. On the other hand

A/N Back in town after a too long hiatus. Don't worry this story is still one of my favs so I haven't forgotten about it. The thing about is...well there's not enough of it to everything you want sadly.

But I digress, I offer you this story and hopefully you will enjoy.

* * *

"WAFS?" Ron placed his right hand under his chin as a look of stern contemplation came over his face. "Women's...Alliance-For...stuff?"

Kim smiled graciously, "Not exactly, but you're kind of close."

"How close?"

"Well you were right about women," Kim said as she quickened her pace to match up with his.

"You mean that they'll be the death of me?"

"No," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Because I do think they'll be my eventual downfall."

"OK, please tell me how women will lead to your downfall?"

Ron stopped abruptly in his tracks and Kim immediately followed suit. She watched his fingers once again stroke his chin, another sign of serious contemplation.

"Well?" she said after a long pause. "You don't have a real answer do you?"

"I have a lot of answers. Do you want them all, or should I take the time to sort out the best ones."

"I'd prefer to forget that I even asked," she sighed.

"I should clarify, I meant an emotional downfall not a physical one." He paused once again to reflect, "Then again, the right girl would probably have me running a 'gator farm in Florida just north of chez leisure..."

As usual when a curious statement had escaped from the blond, Kim's right eyebrow arched up into her forehead. "That is an oddly specific...whatever that was-it was oddly specific."

Ron simply shrugged. "Anyway you were saying something about wasps?"

"W.A.F.S! It stands for Women's Auxiliary Ferrying Squadron a small group of female transport pilots that was formed in 1942."

They continued walking and Ron shook his head. "Never heard of them."

"Unfortunately most people haven't. Anyway, my grandmother was one of the twenty-eight women who were there when the group was founded. And she was still with the group when it folded into the Women Air force Service Pilots-."

"So technically, I was right when I said 'WASPs'."

"-Almost every type of aircraft flown by the United States Air Force during World War II was also flown at some point by the women in W.A.S.P. In addition, a few exceptionally qualified women like Nana for example, were allowed to test rocket-propelled planes, to pilot jet-propelled planes, and to work with radar-controlled targets. Also women who were candidates for W.A.F. S leadership were admitted into Air Force Reserves, because of that Nana was awarded the rank of lieutenant colonel in the Reserves in 1952. Well after that, she decided why not take a shot at the Navy?"

Ron pointed at her face, "Hey KP you have some pride on your face there. Do you want a napkin?"

Kim smiled, the corners of her emerald eyes crinkling. "She can be a little overprotective, but I am very proud of Nana. She is a one of a kind person in a family full of one of a kind people. That's why for the last five years we've celebrated her birthdays by using a theme based on some of the more unique moments in her life."

"Let me guess this years' theme involves airplanes?"

"Nope, we did our Air Force theme five years ago."

"Something with the Navy?"

"Sorry, that was three years ago," she said with a shake of her head.

"I give," Ron conceded.

Kim drew in a deep breath. "The year is Nineteen Seventy Six, on her way home after a late night run to a grab some cold medicine for her husband; Nana's cars is sideswiped by another car driven by none other than Philip Winne, the lead singer of the American Motown group known as The Spirals. Thanks to her sharp reflexes and top notch driving skills, Nana avoids careening out of control while Philip Winne unfortunately hits a lamppost. After regaining her bearings Nana pulls Philip from the wreckage. Once out on the sidewalk, he tells her that he's sorry for crashing into her but he was being chased by a group of men sent by local loan shark Joey 'Rubber band,' Trivoli. As Mr. Winne is passing out in Nana's arms, a white unmarked van comes to a screeching halt down the block. Six huge thugs pop out of the van with their trademark rubber bands wrapped around their wrists. That was their gang 'thing' wearing the rubber band. Anyway they're are there to teach Mr. Winne a lesson, so they walk up to Nana and order her to beat it."

"What happened?" Ron gulped.

"Well long story short, she beat up the loan shark's men, carried Mr. Winne to her car and drove him to the hospital. Flash-forward two weeks later, The Spirals are debuting their latest hit single/dance craze on the iconic show 'U.S Bandstand.' During an encore performance of their hit single and current dance craze the Rubber-band man dance, Mister Winne invited a special guest to the stage to dance along beside him. That special guest happened to be the same woman who saved his life."

"Wow," Ron said, genuinely impressed. "So the theme this time is-"

"Yep, Nana's performance at the show. My uncle and cousin are going to put on a little performance for Nana tomorrow night."

"That sounds great," clapping his hands Ron together. "I'm going to want to know how that turns out."

"Wait a sec," Kim muttered. "Are you implying that you're not coming?"

"No, I'm not implying anything. I'm saying, I'm not coming. No offense to your family, I'm sure they're all great. But for you and me we're, probably better off if I don't come," Ron declared.

"How?"

"Just take my word for it."

Silence ensued.

In that period of time three distinct cars sped past them and down the block. Averting his gaze, Ron followed the cars with his eyes until they were all three barely visible dots in the distance. Ron then exhaled very slowly for a very long time. It wasn't lengthy by choice. It just so happened while in the middle of the sigh, through the corner of his eyes, he saw the look on Kim's face and realized that he would be expected to explain himself the second the sigh ended. So he kept the weary sigh going until he had just about squeezed out every drop of air in his lungs, and was on the verge of collapse.

He drew a quick breath as if surfacing from underwater. "I guess you're waiting for an explanation."

"Didn't peg you as a psychic," she quipped with a sideways grin.

"And you won't back down without one."

"Two for two."

Ron ran his right hand across the back of his head. "OK, we had kind of a moment tonight right? It started when someone was meddling—"

"Hey!"

"Then someone cried; there were apologies and hugs and then friendship experience points were gained and then we leveled up. A moment."

"Awwww, that's weirdly sweet."

Using both his pointer fingers, Ron traced an imaginary box in the air. "This is our comfort zone, we've found it. It's just you and me, see? It's a combination of what makes you comfortable and what makes me comfortable, meshed together all sweet and comfy like. That's all it is. It's simple, who are we to complicate this beautiful system? For example you're uncomfortable when I eat Sloppy Joes, so I only eat that when you're not around. Now as we both now, I'm uncomfortable with the everything on Earth, so unless your family members are from Mars, there's gonna be a problem."

Kim sighed and placed her right hand on his right shoulder. "Ron, listen-"

"KP, We got lucky with the last dinner with your family. We don't need to push our luck."

"-You'll be fine. They will like you -"

"I'm going to say something stupid and it'll linger in the air like…poison!"

"-And if they don't like you, well I wouldn't care-"

Silence again.

"OK, you say that but-"

She interrupted him by now placing her left hand on his left shoulder. "Let's try something new. For the next twenty-four hours 'Ah, why not' is going to be your personal philosophy."

"Why would I do that?"

"As a favor to me?" she asked while smiling fondly.

"You know what you are, KP?" Ron mumbled up to the night sky. "You're some kind of female fatal."

"Uh-You mean femme fatale?"

He glanced back down at her. "Yes, a '_femme fatale' _who hasn't realized yet that you don't need to correct all of your friend's mis-speakings."

Kim opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself soon after. Suddenly they heard a soft voice coming from behind them.

"Very interesting."

Startled, they turned around to discover an elderly woman, carrying two clear plastic bags in both hands, standing directly behind them. "You know to my knowledge, a femme fatale is traditionally an alluring and seductive woman, whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations. That is quite an interesting description of my little Kimberly Anne."

"Nana?" Kim blurted out.

His head swiveling back and forth Ron scanned the immediate area. Eventually it dawned on him the critical blunder his absentmindedness had caused. _"Ron you idiot, why were you having this conversation in front of her house!"_

The truth of the matter was that Ron was not even sure when exactly he and Kim had broken away from Felix and Monique. After he had allowed the tears to flow freely like a toddler he remembered the group of four hanging out awhile longer, chatting and generally having a great time. But then he was back talking to Kim and it was abruptly just two of them alone again. Which is something he didn't really mind, still the conversation had steered to her grandmother's birthday, and then suddenly here she was.

"Good news I dropped by the store and brought ice cream," Nana proclaimed.

"Nana," Kim repeated as she separated from Ron and embraced her grandmother. "When did you get here?"

"Oh about two hours ago with Slim and Joss." Nana wrapped her arms around her granddaughter, "It's good to see you again, hun."

"It's good to see you too, Nana."

The elderly woman cleared her throat. "I see you're still fond of the baggy boy's pants. What happened to that nice dress I sent you for your birthday?"

"Now is not the time for this conversation, Nana," Kim muttered to her grandmother.

'It's a shame, today's youth do not have a proper appreciation for a fine sundress." Sighing loudly Nana turned her attention away from Kim, "Kimberly, your friend seems to be attempting to escape by melding into the shadows."

Kim glanced over shoulder. "Ron?"

"Hey!" Ron blurted out as he stumbled back out of the darkness and into the moonlight. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Grandma P."

"Ah, so you're Ronald Stoppable."

"Yes."

"James tells me that your family lives a few houses down from here."

"Yes."

"432 wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"I just walked by; it's a lovely home. Your family must be very proud of it."

"Yes."

"But you're living in Upperton now, are you going to school there?"

"Yes."

"Where."

"Yes. No, I mean I go to the City University of Upperton, Upperton," Ron said clearly flustered.

Nana chuckled to herself. "It seems like everything I've heard is true."

"What have you heard?" Kim asked testily.

Nana shrugged nonchalantly. "I've heard predictable things from your father, some sweet things from your mother, delightfully-charming things from your brothers, and some odd things from all of the above."

"Odd?" Ron asked anxiously.

"Delightfully charming?" Kim asked heatedly.

"Hmmm," Nana held up one the grocery bags and peeked inside. "Oh dear, if we don't get inside this ice cream will melt."

Ron glanced from Nana, to Kim, then back at Nana. Lowering his head he said "It was nice meeting you but I really should be getting ho-"

Nana interrupted him with a groan. She then offered one of the grocery bags to Kim and then held out her remaining hand.

"Would you be a dear and help an old woman carry these bags inside." Nana said meekly.

Ron stared at the bag curiously, it was only a moment or so ago that he had seen Nana effortlessly lift the back up to chest level to glance inside. At least that's what he thought he saw. No it didn't matter what he saw, he couldn't refuse to help the old woman. It seemed clear that the infamous Nana Possible had lured him into a trap. No, he couldn't blame the cunning old woman; he could only curse his chivalric white knight ways.

"I'd be honored," he said as he graciously accepted the bag.

"It's good to see there are still polite young men these days. You'll be staying for some ice cream as well, right?"

"Ah… why not?" Ron nodded.

"Excellent," with the said Nana took the lead as they strolled to the Possible porch.

"Why is this happening KP?" Ron whispered quickly to her.

"Amp down. Really, what's the worst that can happen?" Kim whispered back.

He turned towards her with a deadpan stare. "Have we met? Do you know me?"

"Ron Stoppable, early twenties, nice guy, tends to panic in social situations" she retorted.

"Oh, you think you've seen me panic? How naive of you. You haven't seen me panic, sister. Now whatever happens in there," as he motioned towards her home. "With the rest of your family…" then he politely pointing at her, "it's your fault" he said.

"Fine, I'll be sure to take full responsibility for whatever may or may not happen," Kim smiled.

"KP, if this were Star Wars you'd be a Storm Trooper on the Death Star whistling Dixie right before it explodes."

Kim took a moment to seriously reflect on this statement. Eventually she broke the silence and asked, "why would a Storm Trooper be whistling Dixie?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**9:30 PM**

They had only take a few steps into the house when a flash of reddish brown darted towards Ron. Having conjured up a heightened sense alarm and caution, Ron was not in the right state of mind to reasonably process the sight of a happily screeching teen girl sprinting towards them.

"Cousin!"

Caught completely of guard Ron sprang back like a startled cat, all arched spine and splayed limbs. In his haste he backpedaled, tripped over his own feet, fell over backwards, and smashed against the floor with a loud groan. He was quietly gazing up at the ceiling, when Kim appeared from the bottom right of his field of vision and stared down at him.

"Are you alright?" she said anxiously.

"Hey KP, what's that they say about first impressions?"

The teen girl appeared beside Kim and peered curiously down at Ron. "Who are you?"

"Who do you want me to be?" he groaned.

"Goodness, that was some entrance-" said a countrified voice as Kim extended out her hand and Ron reached out to grab hold. "-Is this my niece's boyfriend?"

"What? Who's boyfriend?" Kim exclaimed. This momentary lapse of concentration caused Ron to slip from her grasp and land back on the floor.

Kim's uncle, it was safe for Ron to assume it was her uncle due to him calling her his niece, suddenly stepped forward. Sporting a mustache that momentarily filled Ron with envy, he put his hands up to his shoulders and said, "was I misinformed?"

"What happened?" Anne Possible's face suddenly materialized above Ron. "Ronald? We weren't expecting you until tomorrow."

Nana's voice came in from apparently across the room. "I invited him in for some of my famous Peanut Butter and Banana Gelato!"

"I don't know how you do it Mrs. P, but you have the softest linoleum tiles in the neighborhood" Ron commented from the floor. "It's like lying on a solid cloud, you should be proud"

"Um...thank you" Anne replied.

Through the corner of his eyes Ron noticed Kim's cousin leaning over him. "Howdy, I'm Jocelyn Possible."

Ron reached up and shook her hand. "Ronald Stoppable, of the Middleton Stoppable's."

"-That's the way squirt tells it. You know how protective he is when it comes to his baby girl."

"Dad, what did you say?"

Joss peered down curiously at Ron. "No offense but, you don't look like the kind of boyfriend my cousin should have."

"How can I take offense when I agree with you?"

Nana's head popped into view from the top left of his field of vision. "If you lie on the floor for much longer young man, you'll likely catch your death of a cold."

"-Well Kimmie-cub, at first glance-"

Having admonished her father and enlightened her uncle on the situation, Kim brought her attention back to Ron.

"Why are you still on the floor?" She reached down took his hand and jerked him back up to his feet.

"The way I see it KP. If you stay on the ground, that really lowers the chances of you falling down again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**9:45**

In the world of video game the term _turtle_ has different meanings depending on the genre. But all definitions relate to a completely defensive strategy. The essential element of this strategy is usually avoiding damage, by either delaying the enemy until an assault or counter-attack can be mounted or used in desperation to prolong an inevitable loss in the hopes of recovering or to simply avoid the embarrassment of defeat. Depending on the situation, it could be a very useful strategy and as far as Ron was concerned there was no reason it couldn't be applied to real life.

Once back on his two feet, Ron was swept into the dining room and seated at the center of the dining table. He found himself completely surrounded by Possibles on all sides, which of course placed him in a barely suppressed state of pure panic. Initially, to Ron's delight, the spotlight remained on Kim as she reconnected with her recently arrived family members. While his friend steered the course of conversation, Ron relieved some of his anxiety by allowing his imagination to unfurl.

And so by having been somehow been granted the spectacular abilities of a chameleon, he camouflaged perfectly against the wooden dining room set, and was completely hidden from view.

"So Ronald tell us something about yourself?" asked Nana.

Having been spotted despite his miraculous powers of concealment, Ron resorted to "turtling." Which consisted of him weighing his words extra carefully before speaking.

"...OK a little about myself...Well, I'm a 'student'..." absentmindedly he made quotations marks with his fingers to emphasize the word student. Unfortunately multitasking was not one of Ron's strong suits and so while he considered and reconsidered his choice of words, his physical actions were quick to betray him. "...At the City University of Upperton."

"Oh what are you studying?" Slim remarked.

"...I'm glad you asked me that...Uncle...P."

"Call me Slim, son."

"I'm glad you asked that Slim...Again...as... I remarked to Mr. and Mrs. P before...I'm kind of in a state of academic transition...Currently I'm a liberal arts major but I'm considering other...fields of...study."

The Possibles had a few more uneasy exchanges with Ron. The problem is while turtling can significantly cut down the chances of someone saying something embarrassing, the delaying of every response by a couple seconds can at best lead to stilted conversations. At worst, as Ron was soon to discover, it can lead to other people believing that the 'turtler,' was suffering from a mild concussion.

"I'm telling ya cousin, I saw him hit the back of his back when he fell. That would pretty much explain his strange behavior."

"...No...I'm fine." Ron exclaimed as Joss led him to the living room couch. "Trust...me."

"Hey squirt, where do you keep the ice packs?" Slim shouted from the kitchen.

"Try the lower cabinet" James shouted back.

"Don't waste your time with the ice packs. All we need is a bit of Castor oil to rub into his scalp" Nana declared.

Shaking her head slowly, Kim let out a loud sigh as her mother flashed a pen light into Ron's eyes before asking him to count backwards from the number ten.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**10:10**

"This would never have happened if you weren't acting like this was a job interview" she said.

Ron dug into what was now his second helping of Nana's peanut butter and banana gelato and popped a spoonful into his mouth. Then after placing the ice pack back on his head he turned to Kim, "This might be a blessing in disguise."

"What makes you say that?"

"One, I get to play the sympathy card tonight. Two, I get a free pass for weirdness. Anything strange I may do or say can be chalked up to temporary brain damage."

"You don't have brain damage."

"I know that," Ron gestured towards the kitchen with his thumb. "But your family doesn't."

"My mother is a brain surgeon., if she thought anything was wrong, you'd be on your way to the hospital."

Ron sank deeper into the couch as he reconsidered the situation he was in. Sensing his negative aura reemerging, Kim plopped herself on the couch next to him.

"Just be yourself."

"I think you're trying to make me cry again, KP."

"I _think _that our twenty four hour agreement is still in effect."

Ron was set to speak when Nana appeared before him as if she had just risen up out of the ground. "So how was it?"

He glanced quickly down at the bowl.

"Well...I...found...it to...be ..."

Kim nudged him in the ribs with her elbows.

"It was badical!" Ron blurted out.

"Badical?" Nana said with visible confusion. "I assume that is a good thing. Your generation has such a peculiar vernacular."

"Badical is a very good thing Nana," Kim nodded, then looked back at Ron. "It's also a word that has been out of style for around five years."

"I'm bringing it back," Ron shrugged. "Now Granny P, when I say badical I mean, badical in its greatest form. I can't get enough of the really ripe banana and I love the-homemade peanut butter?"

"Yes, my own secret recipe," Nana said affably.

"Secret recipe huh," Ron took another spoonful of ice cream. "One cup roasted, unsalted, shelled peanuts, one-to-three tablespoons of safflower oil, a bit of sugar to taste, and finally a sprinkling of sweetened condensed milk."

Nana's eyes glittered in a peculiar way. "Young man, I am very impressed."

"Ron's quite the cook," Kim stated proudly.

"This recipe is practically perfect," Ron announced.

"Practically?" Nana asked suspiciously

"Well, if you don't mind..." Ron stated.

"Please go ahead, a person is never too old to learn something new."

"I would suggest a few drops of lime juice," Ron replied quickly.

"Oh, I like that," Nana said as he beamed enthusiastically. "That is really good. I'll have to write that one down. Now where is my recipe book."

Nana turned on her heels and exited the room. Ron seemed to come out of a trance. He shook himself and stared at Kim as if saying, "Did that just happen?"

"See?" she said. "Just be yourself and it'll all work out."

"The night is still young K," he countered.

"You know if you got anymore self-depreciating Ron, you'd cease to exist, you'd end up vanishing like vapor into the sky."

"And no one would miss me."

Her arms folded across her chest Kim leaned back into the couch. "Except your sister."

"Yeah, well..."

"And your parents."

"Alright."

"Your old friends like Felix and Jake."

Ron sighed, "I get it."

"And your more recent friends; like for example me. I would miss you...greatly"

Ron ran his hands across his face and eventually he looked over at Kim with a smile on his face he could not suppress. "You're enjoying yourself tonight, aren't you?"

"Maybe," she said with a coy look on his face. "Are you?"

"Maybe," he conceded.

"Y'know Ron, believe it or not, I happen to enjoy your company."

"Hmmm, well at least one of us does."

Kim sighed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**10:18**

"You should have just told her that peanuts upset your stomach," Kim exclaimed while leaning with her back against the family's bathroom door.

"If I had a nickel for every time I 'should have' done something, I'd be rich enough to pay someone to invent a time machine so I can go back in time and do all the things I should have done. Still it's not like I only ate it out of politeness, I can't resist anything in ice cream form. If Ben and Jerry's came out with vanilla bean lead tomorrow I'd be the first one in line to buy it."

"Say listen, I just had a crazy thought, concerning what happened earlier tonight" Kim said softly glossing over his previous comment. "But before I'll tell you what it is, you'll have to promise that you won't get upset when you hear it."

"Um, can't this y'know wait?"

"Maybe-maybe not. So just hear me out. The thing is-"

"Kim!" Joss shouted from down the hallway. She then rushed up to her cousin, "There's a huge problem. I was going to wait for a more appropriate time to tell you this, like after your clumsy friend was gone."

"I'm still here. I can hear you-" Ron said from behind the bathroom door.

"But the longer I wait, the less time we'll have," Joss continued.

"To do what?" Kim inquired.

"Lookie here," Joss lifted her right pant leg and revealing the medical tape wrapped around her ankle. "When I was practicing my dance steps this mornin' and I slipped and sprained my ankle."

Kim bent over at the waist and quickly inspected her cousin's injury. "You can't dance with this sprain, you'll just make it worse."

"I know! That's months of practice with my dad wasted. Why it makes me as mad as...as mad as a bronco chewing on bumblebees!" Joss bellowed.

"-That sounds pretty mad-" Ron said again from behind the door.

Kim placed both hands on her cousin's shoulders. "Rein in the anger there Joss. It's going to be OK."

Joss's face turned bright pink. "My apologies cousin, when I get excited I tend...to...fall-back-on-regional-colloquialisms. But I've been working on getting as sophisticated as you are. I know one day I'm going to be a big city girl like yourself, so I've been working on my sophisticated _wit_."

"What?"

Placing one hand on her hip, Joss mimed taking a sip from a champagne glass. "So Gerard says to me, 'there is no such thing as bad publicity.' So I say "of course you'd say that Gerard you're a publicist!"

"-Ha!-" Ron laughed.

"That was..." Kim allowed her words to trail off.

"Wait I got one better," Joss took another sip of imaginary champagne. "The sad truth is there isn't enough closet space Upperton to hang up all of my exes."

"-I like it. It's witty and saucy-"

"A little too saucy if you ask me," Kim stated. "What have you been watching Joss?"

"Um, I've caught some episodes of Single Female Relations In The City"

"Isn't that show rated mature?"

"-As mature as Methuselah KP -"

"Joss, I don't think you should be watching that show."

"-F.Y.I Methuselah was like oldest old dude in the Torah...can't get more mature than that-"

"But it so good," Joss pleaded. "Plus there's this one character in the show Marie who is just like you cousin, except well she dresses a lot better."

Kim frowned pensively.

"-I thought it was funny anyway-"

"But that's only because she's rich. If you were rich I'd bet you'd dress better Kim."

"Uh-huh."

"Marie is just like you. She is a single woman in the city, she's a simple, open-minded girl looking for love-"

"Um."

"-But also having fun in the process. She experiences moments of both happiness in her independence and loneliness, to which most young women can relate."

"OK, OK, I get it," Kim exhaled. "We'll talk about it later but for the time being. Don't put your hands on your hip like that around your father OK? He might have a heart attack."

"That's fair, but this conversation isn't about me. It's about Nana and the performance. This was a gift from the family! That she'd miss out on it because of my stupid foot well, well that just burns my soul like a Sunday BBQ!"

"Ah colloquialisms again," Kim noted as Joss stared up expectantly at Kim.

"-Why doesn't Kim do it-?" Ron piped in over the sounds of rushing water.

Joss snapped her fingers. "Now that's an idea. Good thinking Kim."

"-Hey!-"

"I don't know," Kim said skeptically. "Nana's birthday is tomorrow that's not really enough time to practice."

"Come on Kim, with your background in cheerleading, you'll be able to pick it up the moves in no time."

"Well maybe..."

"I bet you it'll turn out better than Nana's performance. Wouldn't she be surprised at that?"

"I suppose..."

"Why, you should have been in my place from the start!"

Kim nodded quietly as she attempted to not seem as flattered by Joss' praise as she actually was. Even knowing that the dance had quite the learning curve, it in fact had taken Nana a full week of practice herself to master it, Kim couldn't help be moved by her cousin's enthusiasm. She was not one to think too highly of herself but there really was no real reason she couldn't learn the dance steps by tomorrow afternoon. A herculean task it was not, she mused. Hardly impossible; and if it was well like her father had noted since she was young anything is possible for a Possible. And unless her name had changed without her knowledge, she didn't consider herself an exception to that rule of thumb.

Kim and Joss exchanged ideas on how to streamline her "training" experience for a moment or so before the younger Possible sauntered away just as Ron emerged from the bathroom.

"You know this house has the highest quality toilet paper I've ever seen in my life."

Kim groaned, "T.M.I"

"Yeah I didn't want to say that out loud but then I thought 'ah, why not.'"

"Uh-huh, I'm not sure if I like the sound of that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**10:30**

The plan was very simple, but it was a good one nonetheless. Ron always did most of his best planning on the commode, and this time he had come up with gem. If they wanted Ron stoppable so badly he'd give them all a taste. Not enough to justify his friendship with Kim of course, but just enough for her to realize that her family's prolonged exposure to him was not in their best interest. Any normal family would quickly be turned off by his odd behavior. So he'd give them a taste of the real Ron, enough for them to find it bitter and for Kim to come to her senses.

He ventured back to the dining room and once again began fielding questions.

"Yeah I loved visiting my grandparents during the summer. But I admit I did go through a phase in my childhood where I didn't believe a word they said when they talked about their pasts. It was just that I couldn't imagine them being children. They were just so completely different from what children were, that I couldn't imagine they used to be kids. But of course for awhile there I did think the fifties were actually in black and white. I mean I thought that the entire world was in black and white, and I blame Honeymooners for that. Television really influenced my life as a child, it still does actually...I was a strange kid. But anyway my grandparents would sit me down and go, 'I recall when a hamburger cost two turnips and wheelbarrow.' And I'd just nod my head and go, yeah I get it. This is Flintstones time, tell me about stopping the car with your feet and the time the giant ribs tipped the car over..."

Joss leaned into her cousin and whispered, "I don't get it. Was that a tragic story? What was the point of it?"

With a smile on her face Kim simply shrugged. "The point is whatever you can get out of it, I guess."

James snapped his fingers loudly. "Y'know that reminds me of grumpy old man Webster who used to live in our neighborhood. You couldn't step on his lawn if you didn't know how many moons Jupiter had. Well even though he was a former member of the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics, I never did pay attention to a word he said. I had my own thoughts about the universe, and I couldn't abide by his rigid stance on orbital mechanics. Now that I think about, it he used to swear up and down to all the neighborhood children for years that the sun was hundreds of thousands of light years from the center of the galaxy. But it turns out that it's actually 23,000 light-years from its center. Boy would he have egg on his face if he were still alive."

James Possible chuckled softly to himself as the rest of the table exchanged glances. Ron was stunned by this turn of events. His miscalculation had come of course in believing that there was a standard sense of normalcy to the Possibles. There was nothing normal about this family at all and of course this seemed to be officially confirmed when Slim Possible remarked with a twinkle in his eye.

"You know, I think Squirt here and Ron are two peas in a pod."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**11:00**

As they approached the midnight hour Ron decided to quit while he was ahead. Cinderella should know better than to press her luck he mused. Plus always leave them wanting more was the first rule of show business. It was this reasoning that made him reconsider returning the next day for Nana's birthday party. He bid Kim's family feeling that by his standards of success; by _not _making a complete fool of himself, he was walking away with a total victory. There was no need to put himself at risk again so soon. Besides it was possible the Possbiles had been over-saturated with Stoppable.

They'd certainly prefer having Nana's birthday be an immediate family affair. If he explained this to Kim carefully he was sure he could get her to understand.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Well I..." He turned to see her at the door and she beamed upon him as if, he imagined, he were a World War Two era mailman who had just brought in good news from the war front. His eyes roamed nervously around avoiding anywhere but her face. Eventually though they locked on with hers for an instant and he was briefly amazed to see that once again there wasn't any trace of the confused apprehension his behavior should have brought about in any girl of her ...caliber. And it was so bizarrely odd that she appeared to be looking at him in a pleased sort of way. Friendly even, or perhaps something more? _"It had to be sisterly,"_ he thought, because the alternative was a little too farfetched to imag-Nip it in the bud Ron, nip it in the bud.

"Yeah, of course."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**11:01 **

Friendship or not, Ron Stoppable had always been a sucker for a pretty face. Muttering out loud and with his feet stamping extra hard on the ground he cursed himself for having such a natural susceptibility to being charmed by the female gender. _"There had to be a way out of this!"_ he wondered. Perhaps he could call in sick, claim an overnight bout with yellow fever. The instant he officially stepped off the Possible property and onto the sidewalk, the garage door to the house swung upwards and two identical figures darted into the front lawn. It dawned on Ron then, that he had just eaten dessert with perhaps the entire Possible clan excluding Kim's younger brothers. Obviously the two geniuses had opted out of the family gathering to work on some sort of science experiment. Ron had come to this conclusion upon seeing the boy's matching brown jumpsuits and the fact that the sleeve of Tim's elbow was currently on fire.

"I told you that gunpowder was unstable, Jim!"

Tim dived onto the grass onto the front yard and immediately broke into a roll as his brother swatted at the flames with a wet towel. Eventually they managed to snuff out the fire, breathing heavily both boys stared up at the front door of the house.

"You think they heard anything?" Tim asked as he inspected the remains of his burnt sleeve.

"Nah, dad would be out here freaking, if anyone heard anything. I think we're alright."

Ron coughed into his fist and they twirled around to find him waving at them.

"Hey," he said.

"Ah come on, what are you doing here?" Tim exclaimed.

"Your sister invited me."

"You didn't see anything!" Jim declared.

Ron pointed to Tim. "So, I didn't see his arm catch fire?"

"NO!" the twins shouted in unison. Realizing their mistake they slapped their hands over their mouths and tentatively glanced over their shoulders back at the front door.

"Now I'm not calling you guys liars or anything. But I'm pretty sure I saw-"

"OK," Tim said cutting Ron off. "Do you want something from us?"

Ron moistened his lips, "Maybe."

The twins huddled together, they whispered to each other quietly as Ron watched on. They spoke in quick quiet bursts while occasionally glancing discreetly back at him. A minute or so later they broke out of the huddle and faced Ron.

"OK, we usually don't sell out sister out like this," Tim started.

"But for you we'll make an exception." Jim concluded. "This is very useful information OK, so pay attention. Kim's 'super likes' are as follows; silver roses, orchids especially phalenopsis, art for example medieval paintings, horses, strawberry incense and sandle-root scented candles, cinema not movies _cinema-"_

"Wait just a sec," Tim interrupted. "That's not completely true. It's not a well known fact but she is fond of the kind of movie where there's a sensitive girl walking across the beach, y'know she has low self esteem even though she's kind of hot, and then, 'Oh look! There's a sexy vampire there.'"

"Yeah, man she really tried to keep that a secret." Jim laughed out loud as he shook his head. "Now where was I? Oh right, solving problems-not her own other people's. Italian food, meeting new people, sitting by a fire, pop music, fresh fruit slightly under ripe, researching the family tree, winning, cuddling, honesty and Integrity, taking long walks, citrus scented deodorant, mysteries, apparently adults who haven't lost 'the child inside,' and charity."

"Her extreme dislikes are as follows," Tim continued. "Cruelty towards people and animals, people who don't use turn signals, unnecessary cheapness, being powerless, heavy metal, sitting on a wet toilet seat..."

"Trust us, she hates it," Jim interrupted.

"…Spiders, flies, roaches mosquitoes and most other ugly insects," Tim rambled on. "Cluttered living spaces, morbidity, arrogance, losing, being bored, chauvinism, very heavy foods, things she's bad at for example cooking, bad poetry, slasher films, poop jokes, people who don't curb their dogs, discrimination, drinks that contain only ten percent natural juices-"

"OK, OK" Ron said throwing his hands up in the air. "I didn't really need any of this information. I don't have those kinds of fee-intentions towards your sister, OK?"

"Really? So why didn't you stop us one hundred and thirty seconds ago," Jim countered.

Ron eyes quickly cut from the tweebs to the garage. "So what are you guys working on? Science project? Building a volcano or something?"

Tim scoffed and jutted out his chin as if he had been offended. "Volcano, what are we two? Hey if you have the right parts we can build you a car if we wanted too."

"We'll totally build one when we're old enough to drive" Jim said excitedly. He then began to pull on an imaginary steering wheel. "It's going to look like we're rolling up into school in a U.F.O We'll be cruising for chicks, coastin', hitting the three wheel motion."

Ron snuck a peek at Tim's burned sleeve and wondered if the world really needed the tweebs behind the wheels of car. However he kept this thought to himself.

"Anyway we're working on something for Nana's birthday party. Top Secret, so don't ask about" Tim remarked.

"OK, I can respect that," Ron nodded. "But I do have something I must ask about. How hard is it to learn the rubber-band man dance?"

"What?" Tim asked.

Knowing he didn't have much time before he lost the twins attention Ron quickly summarized the events leading up to Kim taking her cousin's place in tomorrow's activities. It wasn't hard for Ron to see that the more he explained the more the twins faces fell. Their drooping features ended up confirming Ron's suspicions before he had even finished putting his thoughts together.

"She can't do it can she?" he concluded from their reactions.

Tim sighed apprehensively. "It's not that. It's just when Kim sets her goals in, uh, 'competition with the family,' it well, when it works out, its congratulations and sunshines of course. But when she fails, it's total funksville for her."

"She'll be ten times more irritable than she usually is," Jim said. "But it's even worse when she's not primed to tear your head off. That's when you get the nights of discrete but heavy sighs or the mopey stares out the window."

"Seriously?" Ron asked visibly surprised by these revelations.

"Listen both our parents, skipped a grade or two at some point when they were kids. Not too brag, but Tim and I got into high-school when we were only eleven. Kim did the supportive sister thing but there was something a little off about it."

Jim nodded in agreement, "it wasn't like she was jealous or anything, it was just like-the vibe was-it was like she wanted to be in our special clubhouse. Like a little girl trying to climb up into our tree fort you know? It was weird, and a little disturbing."

"Come on guys this is just a dance for her family, she can't get that much upset-" Ron stopped and a frown came to his face. He considered what the twins had just told him and then he reflected on his time with Kim and what he knew about her personality. It seemed clear that there was one simple truth that he could not deny.

"Is it the dance really that hard?"

"Get to the nearest computer and Google, "The top 50 hardest dance moves of all times," for the answer to that question," Jim answered.

"Oh crud," Ron groaned.

Tim shook his head sadly. "It's almost impossible, to learn by tomorrow "

Ron pressed his lips sternly, he was conscious of the overwhelming desire to do something. Take back his suggestion, lend a hand, something! However a) he couldn't simply stalk his way back to the Possible front door after leaving on moment's ago. A) They'd think he was nuts or nuttier than they had initially perceived. B) How in the world could he help her anyway with the performance when he was planning to not even show?

"So what are you going to do?" Tim asked.

Ron glanced anxiously down the block. "I think it's late and I should be getting home now."

"Yeah you better get some sleep, I'm sure you can figure out how to cheer her up tomorrow." Jim shrugged.

"W-wait" Ron muttered as the tweebs started back towards the garage. "What about you guys?

"We've got our own presentation for grandma to work on." Tim called out over his shoulder. "Besides it'll be easier for you to comfort her anyway, so we'll leave it to you. If we tried to help it'll get way too awkward."

"You know anything could happen between now and tomorrow it's not guaranteed I'll be able to make-"

"Oh and dark chocolate is a comfort food for her." Jim said seemingly ignoring Ron's protest. "So it will probably help if you bring some chocolate over. Anything else you want to ask about?"

"Yeah," Ron sighed with resignation. "When you guys build your car, which one of you gets to drive it first?"

The tweebs stopped in their tracks, they turned to Ron staring at him in some sort of stupor. Then they turned to each other while simultaneously muttering "I." Realizing that there would be no immediate answer to his question, Ron shrugged to himself before making his way home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**1:00 AM**

Ron turned sharply to his right and began to walk slowly around in a circle, his hands behind his back and his face bent and thoughtful. His eyes searched the shag carpeting on his bedroom floor, as if somewhere among the dust bunnies lay the right answer.

He did four laps before came to a sudden stop.

"Ah why not," he muttered to himself as pulled his cell phone from his pocket. A moment later he had sent a text flying off into cyberspace.

_Hey are you awake? If not don't bother replying_

He placed his phone down on his nightstand and stared at it intensely until it vibrated to life a minute or so later.

_Yeah, I am. Is everything OK?_

_Yep, just having some trouble getting to sleep. What about you?_

_Still practicing for the performance._

_Orly? How's that going?_

_OK_

Ron brought the cell up to his face. Reading between the lines, "OK," could have meant a number of things ranging from "Ok," and "Hellish Nightmare," depending on how much of her pride Kim was willing to swallow. Well if it was this bad, then there was no need for him to beat around the bush.

_Maybe I can help. You already know about my mad dance skills so how about I drop by?_

_You want to come by in the morning? _

_Actually I was thinking about right now._

_You are kidding right? It's one in the morning. _

_It's only 10 in Alaska._

_Are you sure that your head is OK?_

_Never felt better. I just talked to Napoleon and he said he never spoke to a sharper man in his life. _

_lol XD_

_Did U really "lol" or are you just saying that to be polite?_

_It was a 100% genuine lol, trust me._

_Sweet, in exchange for your laughter I'll take some honestly. Is the practice really going OK?_

Ron placed the phone back on the nightstand and simply waited. Lying back in his bed, Ron closed his eyes and wondered what in the world was he doing. This went completely against all his delicately honed survival instincts. Going back to Kim's house, in the middle of the night? With her parent's under the same roof? With a party looming that he was desperately trying to avoid? Nothing about this made any sense! Why wasn't he asleep, why was he worrying? Worrying about her? Why did he tell Kim about Cynthia? After five minutes of intense monologue-ing the sound of his cell sliding across wood brought Ron back to reality.

_You've Googled the Rubber band man dance haven't you?_

_It's in the top 25 KP. The top 25!_

_I admit, it's petty hard. I practically fell right on my face a half an hour ago. I'd like to think I can get it down by morning but I'm not so sure anymore._

_One more question are U having any fun doing this?_

_No_

Aw Crud he thought. He was right, she was in trouble! For the first time in a long time he had made a correct assumption about a woman! She could have at least lied and let him off the hook, but then again he did ask for honesty. Dammit, what kind of world was this that a person could ask for honesty and receive it? It wasn't the world he was used to that's for sure.

_You don't really have to do it right? Nana probably would understand if u couldn't learn the dance in one night._

_She would and I know I don't have to do this but I still do._

Ron stared quizzically at his phone. What did that mean? He pondered.

_You know it's supposed to be fun right, a fun little thing for your family._

_Yeah_

_But ur not having any fun?_

_No_

_So let me come over. _

_Why?_

_Because Misery loves company. Because two heads are better than one or a bird in hand is worth two in the bush… because I want to help you!_

_I appreciate the concern and not to make light of your extra mad dancing skills. But I think I can figure this out on my own. _

Ron sighed; it was time to bring out the big guns.

_U made me cry, KP._

_Oh come on, that's not fair!_

_I was just saying in case you forgot, the way u made me cry. U remember that right? When I was sobbing like a little girl on your shoulder :)_

_Oh you are evil!_

_Yet forgiving ;)_

_OK, give me half an hour. I'll sneak you in_

Confusion on his face Ron slipped the phone back into his pocket. Half an hour?

Still Ron felt curiously lighthearted as he walked towards his bedroom door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**1:05 AM **

After tossing her phone to the side Kim confronted her reflection in the bedroom mirror and started to giggle, partly because of how awful she looked, flushed wild eyed and sweaty due to the damningly frustrating dance routine - and partly because of how suddenly anxious she was feeling.

Suddenly sighed and shook hear had. It was a sure sign that something strange was going on when you find yourself giggling at your reflection in the mirror.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**1:33 AM**

By the time she had slipped out of her "back home," Lisa Simpson pajamas; redistributed a respectable amount of deodorant and antiperspirant under arms; added a layer of citrus body spray to her skin; combed her hair and picked the "private wear" off the ground of her bedroom floor and stuffed it into her closet; she had deduced the cause of her underlying anxiety.

Standing before the front door of her house Kim drew in a deep breath as adrenaline coursed dizzyingly through her body. Friendship or not, and even though she was a mature, adult woman, she was still sneaking a boy into her room, in the middle of the night, while the rest of her family slept soundly close by.

There was something wrong, but still exciting about.

Berating herself for acting childish Kim shook the feeling off in similar fashion to a wet dog. Glancing out the top window of the front door, Kim discovered that she wasn't the only one feeling anxious. Ron stood for a few moments on the edges of the driveway staring at the house. Then as if a whip had lashed at his back, he shot forward towards the house. He had cut the distance between himself and house in half before becoming immobile again. Then like a gazelle approached a watering hole, he took a few more steps forward while his head swiveled back and forth, in a frantic search for any sign of danger. Eventually he made it to the steps only to jump backwards, and following that with a quick scamper back to the sidewalk.

Kim took out her phone and fired off a quick text.

_I can see you from the door. What are you doing?_

The phone vibration obviously startled Ron as he was in mid-step judging by the way he fell flat on his face. Kim watched as he pulled out his phone. She received a message a moment later.

_What is anyone doing in the grand scheme of life?_

Kim groaned, if Ron kept up his tango routine in front of the house, he was liable to grab the attention of the neighborhood watch. She opened the door and simply waved him forward. His feet barely touching the ground Ron sprinted forward and slipped through the crack in the door. Breathing heavily, he stood facing Kim in the bottle neck space in the hallway just beyond the doorway and right before the house opened up into the living room. Panic was written on Ron's face, but Kim found that she was oddly touched. It wasn't hard to realize that Ron despite the anxiety attack he seemed to be having was prepared to do anything possible to help her.

"You have something on your face," Kim whispered.

"Probably some dirt or gravel. I kind of did kiss the ground a few seconds ago."

"Let me," she said. _  
_  
With her right hand she gently scrapped the grime off his forehead and cheeks. And quite impulsively, to the point that she didn't realize what she was doing until it was over, she leaned forward and blew some dirt from his eye.

"Thanks," Ron squeaked.

"No big," Kim said as she wondered what had just happened.

There was a pause.

"Nice night huh?" Kim remarked.

"Beautiful."

"The moon."

"Yeah."

"The sky."

"Yep."

"I like the spring."

"So do I."

Someone coughed.

"So you want to come up to my room?"

"Yes!" Ron placed his hand over his face. "I really didn't mean to sound _that _excited."

Kim glanced down noticing the excessive bulge in Ron's right pocket. "What's that?"

"Oh that's...Well my mom had some chocolate laying around."  
_  
_

**1:40 AM**  
_  
_Deftly Tim attached the rubber hose to the end of the faucet in the kitchen. His eyes trailed the length of the hose all the way to the door leading into the garage a moment before he turned the water up on high. There would be a doozy of a water bill coming in the near future but it was well worth it for this year's surprise.

Through the corner of his eyes Tim saw his brother enter the kitchen.

"Hey guess what-?"

Tim swiftly brought his pointer finger to his lips. Apparently his brother had forgotten that Nana was currently in the guest room closest to the kitchen. Having been trained in the military meant that no one in the house was a lighter sleeper than Nana. They were still working on their project and the last thing they needed was the adults forcing them to bed.

"So who was walking around upstairs?" Tim whispered. "Was dad going to the bathroom again?"

Jim shook his head. "I just saw Kim was sneaking Ron up to her room."

"Wow," Tim muttered after a moment's reflection. "I didn't think he'd show up until day light."

Jim leaned against the kitchen counter. "If I didn't know what this was all about. I'd probably be grossed out."

Tim agreed wholeheartedly and he was about to express this sentiment when he perceived Nana standing beside him.

_"Holy!_" Tim shouted inwardly as he took a mini leap backwards.

Jim was also clearly taken aback by her presence. "How long have you been awake Nana?"

"Since I heard whispers and footsteps coming from upstairs" Nana replied. "Now if I heard you correctly Jim, you said Kim has escorted Ron up to her room in the middle of the night?"

"Uh...Maybe."

Nana frowned. She seemed to be deploring the scandalous sensibilities of today's modern woman.

"Whoa, it's not like that," Tim said after hazarding a guess at his grandmother's thoughts. Realizing that the honest truth was leagues better than the alternative, he quickly revealed Kim replacing Joss and their subsequent exchange with Ron.

Nana took a seat at the kitchen table once Tim had finished clarifying the situation.

"So you assume there is no hanky panky?"

"At least not tonight," Jim groaned with a look of disgust on his face.

Which promptly caused his brother to smack him in the back of the head.

"What Jim is saying is, nothing is going to happen here. To be honest Nana, Kim and Ron are, what people way back when, would call complete squares."

"Total squares, they have four equal sides and four equal angles" Jim added.

Tim nodded, "Their areas can be found by multiplying the base times themselves... squares, Nana...goody two shoes to the squared degree."

Nana put her hand up in the air. "I understand what you're trying to say."

She then briefly glanced up at the ceiling. "I also understand that Kim would absolutely take any lack of success in this event completely to heart. That girl is far too competitive for her own good."

"That's why it was our idea, to have Ron smooth everything over, as y'know a friend" Jim declared. "He's here to help."

"Can he help?" Nana inquired.

"Definitely, Ron's a good guy. And we can prove it; you want the print out of the background check we ran for dad? Tim asked.

"We have transcripts of their conversation we took when we stayed over at Kim's place" Jim started.

"-Copies of their email-" Tim continued.

"-A Video compilation of them hanging out. Enough for a mini documentary we're gonna call an exercise in self denial-"

"You boys don't have much respect for your sister's privacy do you?" Nana interrupted.

"Think of it this way, we're keeping an eye on her, y'know," Jim shrugged.

"Yeah, totally," Tim tagged on.

"What I'm gleaming from this," Nana said as straightened up in her seat. "You boys are vouching for Ron's character, I imagine you like him very much."

The tweebs exchanged glances and shrugged. "Maybe," they said unison.

"Hmmm getting shy all of a sudden?"

Jim scratched at his cheek. "He's kind cool-alright I guess. Better than Kim's other dates. And y'know the thing is-"

"-She's happy when he's around. That's obvious," Tim concluded.

"Well now," Nana smiled. "It just gets more and more interesting."

* * *

A/N Slowly but surely eh? Hope you liked it. I know I dragged my feet with this one but hopefully you all are not too upset. So read and review. Tell me what you think, you can even yell at me for taking too long :)


	12. On the other hand part 2

A/N Yes the story has not abandoned. But it has been a long time. Broke up this chapter into two pieces I'm currently working on the rest so the next chapter won't be a year long wait. Thanks for being extra, extra patient.

* * *

When Kim walked into the nightclub it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. She was bombarded by music and initially it was a bit overwhelming but she gathered her wits after noticing that it was being pumped into the room from the ceiling. She took a moment to tap her feet along to the beat before moving deeper into the room. She glanced around the dance floor and noted that it was pretty packed. Which was quite an accomplishment given how huge the club was. She figured it had to be about twenty meters long and one hundred meters wide. It had a bit of a theatrical feel with a stage at the far end of the room and protruding balconies on opposite walls. Truth be told, it was all a bit extravagant in her opinion, though she did think the strobe-lit columns that descended from the ceiling were a unique touch.

Kim continued through the crowd passing various people dressed to the nines with polyester flares and bell bottoms. Everywhere she turned she caught glimpses of shiny satin tops**, **pantsuits;sequin disco dresses**, **and platform shoes.

"Kim!"

She recognized the voice almost immediately. Kim turned to see Ron shuffle-step his way through the mass of people. He wore a white three-piece suit, a dark shirt underneath, no tie, heavily flared trousers, and stack heel-shoes. But what really caught her attention was the bright smile on her face. Ron rarely had an expression that wasn't somewhat guarded. Even when he laughed out loud she could tell that he seldom gave himself up to the moment around her.

"Looo-king gooood KP!" Ron said as he neared.

"Backatcha!" she called out when he came within earshot. "You know, I've been looking all over for you."

He grinned. "If you wanted to find me, you should have checked the dance floor from the get-go. Kim I'm a dance a machine and I won't work for nobody but me."

She laughed. "Well this is new. What happened to Ron the wall flower?"

"Wall flower? I'm a wiiild flower KP, and Ronshine is in season. Catch My Drift?"

"I dig it," she replied. "It's killer to see you come out of your shell. You are who you are, don't apologize."

"All thanks to you, Kim. I was so La La before you convinced me to get some closure by talking things over with Cynthia. If it wasn't for you I would have never gotten in touch with my good vibrations."

"No big, what are friends for?"

"Knowing you, knowing me, KP, there's nothing we can't do." Ron said before pulling her into a hug.

Holding her close he whispered to her, "You make me feel mighty real."

When the embrace broke Kim was sporting a smile and a bit of red on her face. "So what do you want to do now, wildflower?"

"Do you see where we're at? I'm going to dance,shout, and shake my body down to the ground_."_

"Twitchin!" Kim said as she started to dance a bit herself. "You know something this song has always been a fav of min-"

Kim stopped when she realized that Ron had drifted away from her and was merging back into the crowd.

"Hey where are you going?"

Grinning mischievously Ron pointed to a pretty brunette across the dance floor. "The wildflower is about to spread some Ronshine to that groovy kitten over there. Yeeeeah, that's the way, uh-huh uh huh, I like it."

Before Ron could dip further into the crowd, Kim grabbed him by the arm.

He turned to her a puzzled look on his face. "Le freak ce chic KP, but don't freak out."

"Sorry," she said letting go of his arm. "I thought you were going to dance with me."

Ron studied her quietly.

"With only me," she added.

He sighed, "Kim, we're great friends. So I'd like to know where you got the notion to rock the boat"

"I'm not rocking the boat," Kim replied defensively.

"Don't tip the boat over."

"I'm not."

He looked at her sadly. "You know I think you should wake up."

"What?"

"You, really need to wake up. Wake up now!"

Kim awoke with a start. Blinking away sleep from her eyes she found herself staring down at blue denim. Kim jerked her head up and then straightened out her body. Her memories from the night before came flooding back to her. She recalled the dancing, her grandmother's clip from U.S Bandstand on a loop, the "That's what I call Disco" CD, that infernal elastic band, and then the heavy eye-lids.

She glanced over at Ron who was sitting beside her. They were both seated on the floor of her bedroom, backs against her bed. Kim's eyes cut from Ron's blue jeans to his pale face and horror stricken.

"Was my face-"

"Yes," Ron muttered softly

"For-how long?"

"Don't know I just woke up about thirty seconds before you did."

As he talked, Kim noticed that Ron didn't look at her face; in fact she was pretty sure he was staring past her.

"There's someone else in the room, isn't there?"

Ron nodded and Kim winced.

"It's not my dad is it?"

"No, it's your mom."

XXXXXXXXXXX

**8:46 AM  
**

Kim glanced briefly at Ron as he paced back and forth, anxiety pouring from his very body. With a heavy sigh she turned to her mother.

"Mom, it's not what you think."

"You know since you were eleven I always made sure to knock before entering your room. This had to be the one day I slipped."

Before Kim could say another word Ron materialized beside them. "Mrs. Dr. P, I realize you walked into your daughter's bedroom and found her face in my lap—," then squinted his eyes, "why did I start like that?"

Kim placed a hand on Ron's shoulder. "Um, let me handle this OK?"

With his head hung low Ron returned to his pacing.

"Mom, listen to me, I know it might have looked like-,"

"Kim, you're an adult, but I must say I am very disappointed to see that you would sneak Ron into the house under the cover of darkness."

"I didn't sneak Ron into…. Ok I did sneak him back into my room. But not for what you think."

Ron reappeared, startling both women. "Mrs. Dr. P, I would never disrespect your daughter in your home." He then did a quick pause making sure he'd cover all the angles, "In fact I've never even considered disrespecting your daughter outside of your home-oh wow I am really bad at this."

"Ron," Kim whispered.

"Yeah," he replied quickly before slinking away.

Mother and daughter watched Ron shuffle off. This time before Kim could speak Anne interrupted her by placing her hand in the air like a traffic cop. "Kim, I know you were practicing to replace Joss in the show for your grandmother. In fact it was Nana who alerted me of the situation a few minutes ago. It was decided that it would be for the best to make sure Ron had gone home before your father woke up."

"So then you understand that it wasn't…"

"Well, unless young people today have discovered a way to perform with their clothes on."

Kim let out a sigh of relief. "So why the frowning?"

"Even if Ron were helping you, that doesn't excuse the fact that you snuck a friend into your parent's home without their permission."

"I'm sorry, I-Wait, Nana knew about Ron?"

Ron brushed Kim to the side and stepped before Anne. "Mrs. Dr. P your daughter is a very classy gir-young woman and I…I don't know where I'm going with this."

He placed his face into his hands and with slumped shoulders strolled away from the Possibles.

"He seems panicked, Kimberly."

"He's a bit of a panicky Pete," Kim replied casually. "Mom I'm sorry about sneaking him in…. But I really needed his help."

Mother and daughter exchanged looks. Anne attempted to remain firm but Kim's bottom lip slowly began protruding outwards as her eyes shined with unshed tears.

"OK," Anne sighed.

"Alright let's be honest," Ron butted in abruptly. "She's a ten and I'm a six on a good day. Mrs. Dr. P, you're a doctor you can see that kind of math just doesn't add up."

Kim put a hand on Ron's shoulder once again and turned him towards her. "We've already established this as a misunderstanding, Ron."

"So we're good?"

Kim looked past him and over at her mother. Anne gave her a resigned nod.

"Yeah, we're good, Ron," Kim said with a reassuring smile.

"I gotta tell you these last few minutes are going to challenge for a spot on my list of Ron's most awkward moments."

"You have a most awkward moment's list?"

"I… might."

"You just said you did."

Mrs. Possible cleared her throat capturing Ron and Kim's attention. "Well I suppose this is as appropriate a time as any to ask what you would like for breakfast Kim. And Ron since you're here—"

"Ron's here?"

Wiping sleep from his eyes James Possible still clad in his pajamas stumbled into the room

"Aaand here comes a new challenger," Ron muttered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**9:15 AM**

"What are you looking so sullen for? My mom covered for us you know what that means don't you?"

Lying on her bed Ron eyed Kim wearily.

"It means she likes you." She grinned.

Anne Possible had indeed worked quickly. Ron stiffened up so much he could have been mistaken for a marble statue. Kim was in the process of concluding that it was impossible to be honest without revealing the part about Ron sneaking into the house in the dead of the night. So Anne leaped in and casually unraveled the mystery for her husband. James' own mother had a list of specialty foods that she requested for the party, the workload might have been too much for Anne if she hadn't requested Ron's help last night. And obviously he needed to be here bright an early if they were to have at least some of the food ready by the afternoon.

Kim waved her hand over Ron's face. "Hello, anyone home? Her liking you is a good thing, Ron."

Ron drew in a deep breath and lifted himself up to his feet. "So how did we end up in that, um, position?"

"Well we had gotten through the entire routine, perfectly, for the first time and you sort of just collapsed against the bed and settled onto the ground here."

"Yes, I remember the desperate, exhausted, joy."

"You cried a little."

"I don't remember that."

"You were kind of misty eyed."

"Don't remember that either."

"Gotcha, so anyway I figured we could both use some rest so I sat down beside you. We talked a little and then you fell asleep. I must have fallen asleep right after. Sometime before my mom walked in I must have moved in my sleep and-"

"OK, I can fit the rest of the pieces together," Ron remarked as he massaged the base of his temple. "You know what this is right? It's chaos."

"Don't be so melodramatic, every-thing's fine now."

Ron chuckled softly. "Ah sweet naïve KP, do you think that sitcom like misunderstanding we just had is going to be the highlight of the day? There's gonna be more awkwardness and embarrassment before the day ends."

Kim rolled her eyes. "I forgot you're a glass half full of poison kind of guy aren't you?"

"See, I tried to warn you, but you wouldn't listen. Chaos follows me around, chaos is my aura…You've invited chaos into your family's home."

"Well maybe I like a little chaos."

"Please, no one likes chaos," Ron said with a shake of his head.

"Maybe I do."

"Why?"

Kim shrugged. "Because it's different."

"It's different?"

"Yeah."

"But it's chaos!" Ron blurted out.

"I heard you the first time."

Ron started off towards the bedroom door. "You ask for chaos, you're going to get it."

"Well good, maybe I welcome it to my life," Kim called out after him.

"I hope you do because it's coming," he called back.

"Well give it to me, because I want it!"

They fell silent for a beat, then Kim squinted her eyes and said, "That was a poor choice of words to shout out."

Wordlessly Ron reached for the bedroom door and pulled it open. Joss stood out in the hallway a toothbrush in hand, a towel on her shoulder, and a mask of red on her face.

"It's a misunderstanding," Kim announced softly.

Joss nodded before sprinting off quietly. Ron slammed the door shut then he turned to Kim and gave her a knowing look.

"I know, I know, chaos," she replied.

"You, were warned remember that. Anyway I'm going down to help your mom, are you coming with?"

Kim walked over to the laptop on her bed and tapped the enter key. When the screensaver disappeared she tapped the keyboard a few times and the grainy image of a much younger Nana Possible appeared on screen. "You know what, I think I'll spend the rest of the afternoon polishing some of the rough edges of the routine. This is sort of like cheerleading; its one thing to know how to perform the moves it's another to execute them gracefully."

Ron ran his hands together. "You know your family is going to be having a party downstairs right?'

"It's ok, I'll def make it down before the show starts" Kim declared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**10:30 AM**

Jim looked up from his laptop just in time to see his brother approaching him. Yawning loudly Tim wiped a splash of oil off his cheek with his forearm.

"I think we're done."

"Should we test for bugs?" Jim inquired.

"Bugs? When have we ever had a bug? Let's get some breakfast."

"Cool, but first check out this screen-cap." Jim twirled the laptop on his hand and shoved the screen in his brother's face.

After the briefest glance Tim recoiled in horror. He clutched dramatically at his eyes and stumbled backwards until his back hit a garage wall. "No! No! No! My eyes'! Why would you show me that! I think…I think I'm going to hurl."

"Chill, it's not what you think. The first glance is deceiving. Kim _fell_ onto his lap."

Jim tapped the arrow keys on the keyboard. "See, five minutes earlier she's resting her head on his shoulder, then she's asleep, then…boom her face slips off. Waddya think?"

Licking his lips Tim said. "The pranking potential for this is very high…"

Tim trailed off into quiet reflection and the twins studied the screen together. Eventually Jim broke the silence. "But, you want to delete it, don't you?"

"Bro, be honest, am I getting soft in my old age?"

"As much as I'd like to rag on ya, I thought the same thing."

Tim waved his hand dismissively, "We'll definitely get more stuff down the road. Stuff that's less gnarly to our sense of sight."

"Yeah this is pretty gnarly."

Tim took the laptop from his brother pushed a few buttons and then slammed it shut. "Also we shouldn't record them when they're alone… At night."

"You think something will happen?"

"I don't know… but I'm not sure we can keep taking the chance for our sanity's sake."

Jim shuddered. "Let's stop talking about it or I'll be too sick to eat."

With that said Jim followed his brother out the door of the Possible's garage and into the kitchen.

"I wonder what time Ron got out this mor-,"

Jim's question was derailed when Tim stopped so abruptly that Jim couldn't avoid colliding with his brother. Jim was preparing to shove his twin out of the way when he caught sight of what had halted him. Ron stepped into their path wearing a sheer white apron that had him looking like a TV chef. He was wiping his hand with a paper towel when he caught sight of the twins.

"Yo."

"You're still here?" Jim exclaimed.

Anne Possible ventured into kitchen with her hand on her hips. "Still? So you did know about him being here?"

"Nana knew about it too?" The twins responded in unison.

"No one likes a tattletale," Nana called out from the kitchen table. "Anyway your mother already knows everything. Still she broke you boys rather easily."

"So does dad know?" Tim asked.

"Of course your father knows. He knows that I asked Ron to come over early and help me whip up a few special dishes for Nana's party tonight."

Tim smiled. "Sure, that's exactly why he's here."

"Sound reasonable to me," Jim added.

"Speaking of specialty meals, we might as well make the best of this situation. Ronald, are you familiar with the Garbanzo Bean Chocolate Cake?"

"Gluten free?" Ron inquired with a slight smile.

"Well, now I am intrigued," Nana said as she lifted a teacup to her lips.

"I'm on it. Mrs. Dr. P, point me to the garbanzos."

"I'm sure we have some in the fridge."

Ron darted off towards the fridge. He threw the door open, bent over at the waist and began to dig inside.

Tim and Jim appeared moments later and leaned against the open door. "So how's she doin?" Tim whispered.

"Who, Kim? You guys concerned?"

"Nah, curious."

"She's doing OK."

"You sure she's OK. Because if we had guess, we'd guess that she wants to pull it off perfectly after just one night of practice," Jim stated.

"And that will be a problem, a big problem," Tim tacked on. "She doesn't like to lose. Losing is not her thing, if she fails to deliver by her standards on this performance things will get awkward."

Jim nodded. "And not the funny kind of awkward but the sad kind of awkward. Which is where you're supposed to come in."

Ron stopped his rummaging and stared at the twins. "I did get the feeling that your sister is super competitive."

"As long as I can remember she's been type A all the way." Jim stated.

Tim shook his head. "Have you seen her eyes when she really wants to win?"

"Yeah, they're shark eyes," Jim muttered.

"Exaggerating much fellas?"

"Hah, we wish. A few years back she was the interim coach for our soccer team. It got real bad. Like ruthless dictator bad." Jim said

"Think Stalin's five year plan." Tim pointed out.

"I get it." Ron returned to the fridge. "So has she ever gotten uber competitive with the rest of the fam?"

Tim shrugged. "I don't think Kim's the type to sweat that kind of stuff. I mean she's zero fun-"

"-Zero fun-"Jim interjected.

"-But still she's tough."

"Well you guys are right about that, your sister is tough. But you won't need me for damage control because this dance is going to go off without a hitch. So prepare for your teenaged minds to be blown."

"Um, OK..." Tim said

"And while you're preparing your minds to be blown, prepare your taste buds, for the best bon-daggity smoked salmon artichoke mini wraps you've ever tasted."

Ron then dove further into the fridge.

"He's excited." Tim remarked.

"I'm excited," Jim grinned. "Hicka-bicka-boo?"

"Hoo-sha"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Noon**

The elder Possible brothers sat peacefully under a patio umbrella, hands in pockets, and legs crossed at the ankles; as they stared across the backyard in silence. Apron clad, tray in hand, Ron cautiously approached the two men.

"Salmon wrap, Mr. Dr. P? And Mr—"

"Slim son"

"Right, Slim."

Ron held out the tray. James and Slim each picked up a wrap with one hand and handful of napkins with the others. Ron watched as they brought the wraps to their mouths, bit into it, closed their eyes and grunted at the burst of taste filling their mouths.

"Didn't think I'd have much of taste for salmon wraps but I'd be lying if I said this didn't dill my pickle!"

"What my brother said," James Possible said absently as he took another hearty bite. "You know Slim, Ronald is here also happens to be a fan of Captain Constellation."

After taking a moment to savor his more recent bite Slim sighed. "Oh boy, here we go again."

"Which goes to prove what I've said before, the show is timeless. It's loved by pre-teens to college kids and.…beyond."

"Far beyond I'd say." Slim elbowed Ron in the ribs "Squirt here was a bit of a geek, well that is until Anne showed up. Then suddenly he was more interested in push-ups than Asimov."

"No need to rehash history, Slim," James said through a mouthful. Then he looked over at Ron. "I'm just saying that Ron here would agree with me that it's one of the better written television shows of all time."

Ron nodded emphatically. "I would definitely agree."

Slim shrugged. "I always thought the villains were a tad clichéd."

"That's the point," Ron and James said together.

They exchanged glances before Ron continued. "They're supposed to be clichéd."

"Ronald it seems my brother is not clued into the concepts of irony, subtlety and satire."

"Hold your horses' fellas, it was just a T.V show."

"Just a TV show?" Ron exclaimed with apprehension. "What TV show features all these amazing characters, each with their own story, heroics, and flaws?"

"The development and maturation of Captain Constellation and his crew, _as_ they encounter a universe in crisis, it's all executed to perfection," James proclaimed.

"It's War and Peace in space! I've never read War and Peace but I hear good things," Ron said.

"The complex interactions between the crew-mates and with alien life forms are second to none in the Science fiction community."

"Mr-Slim-Sir-, The season finale of season five-,"

"-Was not only thought provoking but a poignant illustration of the human condition," James continued

"Manly tears were shed."

James nodded emphatically. "Much, many tears."

"Alright, alright, no need to gang up on me now boys. I didn't come to my mother's birthday party fixin' for a fight. How about we change the topic?"

Silence came quickly. A cloud moved across the sun, a cool breeze wafted across the backyard, and for reasons unbeknownst to him, Ron was the one who broke the silence.

"Y'know in Japan they just created a hugging robot. It uh, hugs you when it senses that you're down-and in times of need."

"I'm always looking toward the future but I don't know if people should be hugging a blender in times of need." Slim sighed.

James nodded as he said, "I am a big fan of cybertronics but not when they're used as replacements for human contact."

Inwardly Ron let out a sigh of relief. He had no idea why he had chosen to speak up or even why he hadn't walked away when there had been a lull in the conversation. He had delivered the wraps, the Possible men had enjoyed them, and well like they say in show business always leave on a high note. In fact it was at that moment that Ron realized he could have been walking away instead of wondering why he hadn't walked away.

"Ronald what do you think about man's relationship with machines and nature."

"Mr. Dr. P, nature has tons of ways to kill me, at best a plasma TV will make me lazy or blind. I'll go with the plasma eight times out of ten."

All reflex no thought.

"I suppose…..there's some truth to that," James shrugged as took another quick bite of his wrap.

Ron looked over at Slim who was running his finger through his mustache. A clear sign of puzzlement Ron imagined.

_Noooooo! Why did you tell them the truth? People don't even buy plasma TVs its LCD or nothing you fool!_

"Hey, I-um-, going to go check on a pie."

"What kind of pie?" James inquired.

"Blueberry."

"Hmmm, sounds delicious."

"Yeah, so-I-just-check-pie."

Ron turned on his heels and walked off. It wasn't the fastest he had ever walked away from a group of people while being shrouded in fear and anxiety. It wasn't even the second fastest he had ever run off, but it was likely in the top five.

_What are you doing? Initiating small talk? Speaking without filtering? Blurting out how you really feel? Have you learned nothing man? _

"I know, I wasn't thinking. It all happened so fast," Ron muttered to himself as he started up the steps of the Possible back porch.

"Who are you talking too?"

"Gah!"

Reacting quickly Joss reached out and grabbed Ron by the arm before he fell over backwards and down the steps.

"You alright?" She said when he had stabilized his balance.

"No-yes, you startled me. I almost dropped the-food."

"Just breathe now"

"I'm breathing." Ron drew in a sharp intake of breath. "Salmon wrap?"

"Yeah sure-, Were you talking to yourself just now?"

Ron ran his right down his neck. "I can't really say for sure since I wasn't paying attention."

Joss picked up the wrap and brought it up to her lips. "I got a theory about you, but you might find it a little offensive."

Ron shrugged. "If offenses were smells, I would have lost my sense of smell in high school. You know because you can lose your sense of-"

"I get it." Joss interrupted.

"Yeah, so give me your best shot."

"I've seen plenty of television shows and movies about big city girls like my cousin and in a lot of them, the main character has this one platonic male friend. He's usually uh the type that prefers the company of other males."

Ron rolled his yes. "You think I'm…."

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I really mean no offense."

"Don't worry about it. This _issue_ has come up before unfortunately."

As he said that Joss took hearty bites of the wrap and swallowed. "Oh my gosh this here, this here is a bit of a delight."

"Glad you dig it."

"So you can cook something fierce, uh you do any interior decorating in your spare time?"

"Ok kid what you're thinking it might explain a few things," Ron paused. "But not nearly enough, sorry your theory is all wrong, I like girls, not that I have had much success with them to prove that point though. Kim and I are pretty good friends, I know it's hard to see but is it that hard to see?"

Joss swallowed a mouthful. "Ever since she moved out on her own, every chance I've gotten to talk to my cousin, I've asked her to talk about her city life. Friends and such come in pretty late in the conversation, there was always a big drop-off after Monique, whom she loves. And at the very end she _might_ mention a fella she's been seeing."

"Kim's got priorities, she's set serious goals for herself."

"I understand that. But I talked to Kim last night about her city-life before she started practicing. You came up pretty early in the conversation. She enjoys hanging out with you; I'd like to know why?"

"She has a kind heart?"

"It has to be something more than that."

"Well when you figure me out give me a holler. I bet it'll save me some future therapy bills."

With that said he left Joss to enjoy the rest of her meal.

"I must apologize for Joss," Anne Possible said when Ron reentered the kitchen. "I couldn't help but overhear and well she can be a nosy Parker as James would say."

"It's no too hard to figure out when someone's trying to get under my skin. I don't think Joss's the type."

Anne smiled brightly before lifting a small spoon to Ron's face. "Here taste this sauce."

Ron sipped from the spoon and licked his lips. "We're some dice onions and cayenne pepper away from perfection."

"We're fresh out of those." Anne frowned. "Perhaps I'll make run to the store."

"I'll stay here and man the battle stations general." Ron joked with a slight salute, as he watched Mrs. Possible leave the kitchen.

He was heading towards the oven when his brain kicked in once more.

_Wait a second there was something far too comfortable about that entire scene just now. I don't think I'm comfortable with this level of comfort. _

Ron glanced at the kitchen window just in time to see the tweebs pass by. The boys quickly exchanged a few words and chuckles before they both took turns waving, to his surprise, politely at him.

"The Possibles like me?"

Ron paused to consider the ramifications of such a revelation. He didn't exactly have a history of making correct assumptions. In fact if he died tomorrow he was sure his tomb stone would either read "Life let him down," or "He assumed far too much for his own good." The way he saw it there was always the possibility that he had read the environment wrong and the Possibles were simply really, really, really polite people. Like Zita's parents were, good polite people who didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Whoops, forgot my keys."

Ron turned as Anne suddenly reappeared and snatched up a pair of keys from the kitchen table. She smiled at him for the second time in a matter of minutes.

"You know Ronald, the day started off perfectly awkward but everything seems to be working out for the best."

"I-uh—I guess it's been fun so far."

"I'm not one to speak for the whole family….but I can tell that everyone has enjoyed having you be part of the festivities."

"You can tell that huh?"

"Yes." Anne said matter-of-factly.

'Well, I've enjoyed being here."

Anne departed once again leaving Ron in the suddenly sweltering kitchen. He stood dumbfounded in the middle of the room before briskly pulling the apron off his body and making a beeline for the Possible's first floor bathroom. Once there he glanced at his reflection in the mirror and pinched himself. Last night there had been bowl of his mother's chili in the fridge that Ron had scarfed down quickly before meeting up with Kim. Clearly he was still sleeping and the spicy chili sauce must have been affecting him. But didn't spicy food give one nightmares and not pleasant dreams?

"So they like you," he told his reflection. "That's good. So far so good. Just maintain for the rest of the evening."

Ron's right pointer finger began tapping furiously on the side of the sink. He felt his chest tighten.

"I'll just be myself, it's worked so far."

Ron turned to leave, unfortunately by the time he had gotten from the sink to the bathroom door, doubt and panic had taken hold, and effectively hampered his motor skills. He found himself fumbling with the doorknob, pulling and pushing at the same time. At one point his hand slipped right off the knob as if it had somehow been encased with grease.

When his panic was reaching its peak Ron drew in a deep breath.

And succumbed to it.

"Be myself, what? When has that ever worked?"

_You need to escape! You can't screw it up if you're not here!_

Ron looked around frantically wondering to do until he spotted the bathroom window. The window opened out to the side of the house and freedom. But it was very small. Ron quietly pulled up the screen and threaded his arms through the window first, then using a pulling, kicking, wriggling method; he started to drag the rest of his body out after them. The window was relatively small for his frame but fear had pushed Ron's determination into overtime. Half his body was out the window and he was trying to squeeze his waist through window until.

"Ronald?"

"Of course-of course," Ron groaned as he placed his right palm over his face.

Inevitably he peeked through the cracks of his fingers, and the magnetic pull of embarrassment brought him to eye with Nana Possible.

"Grandma P, why are you out here?"

"Well it is my birthday, and in my experience the closer you get to death the more you tend to stroll around."

Ron winced. "That's kind of morbid."

"Some may see it like that. May I ask why you are hanging out of the bathroom window?"

Ron opened his arms out wide. "Isn't it obvious?"

A hush fell like a heavy blanket over the two of them.

"No, I can't honestly say that it is," Nana replied.

"Oh I'm sorry of course it wouldn't be obvious to you, since it's a cultural-religious-a culturally religious thing, I'm uh Jewish."

Nana replied almost immediately. "You know in my younger years I spent a few months in Jerusalem amongst a few other Middle Eastern nations. I do not recall any religious practice that involved windows in such a manner."

"We'll it's um Orthodontist, no that's not the word its…it's you know the guys with the beards, it's on the tip of my tongue-orthopedic-"

"Orthodox?"

Ron snapped his fingers. "That's right orthodox, that's _not_ what this is. This is actually un-orthodox since I'm the only who practices like this."

"I see."

"You're not buying this are you?"

"No, but it's all rather amusing."

"I was trying to escape," Ron sighed.

"Escape? Are you worried about James finding out about last night? If he did find out I can assure you that you do not need to worry about coming to physical harm-"

Ron put his hands up to stop her.

"No, I 'm not afraid of Mr. Dr. P or anybody else in the family, if I'm afraid of anyone its myself."

She gave him a curious stare. "I, I do not understand."

"It's not you guys, it me. I'm really sorry but I've got issues. I don't know if I'm ready for the level of commitment it takes, to keep hiding them from you guys. Actually I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that kind of major commitment, but that doesn't mean I don't like you guys."

"Are you breaking up with this family?"

"I-I guess…"

Nana paused for a moment before speaking. "Ronald, you are under no obligation to stay, especially if being around us makes you feel uncomfortable. And I can understand why, it's possible we've all been acting extra vigorous around you. But that's mainly because Kimberly rarely brings a boyfriend over to meet her family."

"Whoa! No offense Grandma P but I'm more of boy type friend, not a boyfriend."

"Yes, there is quite the distinction I suppose."

"A huge, huge distinction, it's like two identical planets but with different moons, y'know."

"Fair enough….I stand corrected. Kimberley rarely ever brings a friend home and I've gotten the impression that while Kim doesn't need us to like you, she does want us too. And if I got that impression, the others may have as well which would explain their enthusiasm."

"Well Mrs. Dr. P just kind of implied that you guys might like me. Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead, y'know?" Ron said as he bit down on his bottom lip.

"If that's what you want, I can help pull you out." Nana then reached down and took hold of Ron's hands.

"Wait-wait," Ron called out as Nana began to tug. "So Kim doesn't really bring a lot of friends home?"

"Not to my knowledge. It appears to be that you're a special case."

"Then shouldn't I say goodbye before running off in fear?"

"Are you asking me or yourself?"

Ron drew inhaled and exhaled loudly. "Grandma P, can you push me back into the bathroom. KP is a good friend of mine and the least I can do is look her in the eyes before I abandon her."

"Very well."

With significantly less effort that Ron had anticipated, Nana placed both hands on Ron's shoulder and shoved him through the window.

"All clear?"

"Yes ma'am," Ron called out as he climbed up to his feet.

"Ronald, you've implied that you act differently around the family. So what I gather is that what we've seen so far is a somewhat subdued version of Ronald Stoppable?"

"I like to think of it as a normal-er version of myself."

"To quote Frances Moore Lappe, 'I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are.'"

"Frances Moore Lappe-Is that the French guy who tight roped between skyscrapers?"

"She is an author."

"Right, well enjoy your stroll Granny P."

"I will."

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading, hope you dug it after the long wait. Like I said earlier I am currently working on the next chapter so that's coming soon. And it'll have much more Kim and Ron interaction than this chapter if that has you worried.


	13. Chaos Control

A/N Took me longer than I thought to get this piece out, but I suppose it's leagues better than putting it aside for a year. Oh and before I forget to the reviewer for Gesprekken named "Natalie." I would give you an answer to your question but you reviewed as a guest so I don't really have any means to contact you.

But now on to the show

* * *

**12:08 **

Kim was standing behind the bathroom door when Ron threw it open.

"Hey," Ron uttered suppressing the fact that he was taken aback by her sudden appearance.

"I was looking for you." Kim glanced past him into the bathroom. "You were in there for a pretty long time."

"Well honestly, I was just y'know-panicking."

"Panicking about what?"

"Well-well-the thing is-I," Ron raised his eyebrows in an attempt to look serious. But as he met Kim's eyes he couldn't find the words he needed to grant him an early escape. He couldn't leave, not like this anyway. Not when she said she needed his help, something he easily recalled now that she was standing there in front of him. In fact to his amazement with Kim standing there he realized that, it wasn't just that he couldn't leave but he didn't _want_ to leave.

"Can't a man panic in the privacy of his own home?" He shrugged.

"This isn't your house."

"Touché."

Kim waited for a beat. "So are you going to tell me what you were panicking about?"

"This-and-that, the economy, disappearing bees, kids getting trapped in hot air balloons, the usual."

"Sooo, you're not going to tell me why you were panicking are you?"

"It's for the best."

"Right," Kim sniffed.

The curious sniffing sent warning alarms in Ron's mind. He took a moment to study her face. "So you were looking for me?"

"I was just checking up on how you were getting along with everyone."

"Are you OK?" Ron blurted out.

It was as if Ron had been watching Kim on DVD and he had pressed the pause button. She completely froze, even her breathing stopped. Ron couldn't be sure, but it looked like time itself stood still around her as she decided on an appropriate response. After a few seconds Kim came back to life.

"I'm fine."

She pushed a strand of hair from her face and sniffed for a second time.

"Yeah my, 'it's not fine,' radar is going off like Fourth of July fireworks."

Kim opened her mouth to speak but closed it a second later. Eventually she chuckled to herself and said, "I'm having some trouble matching my grandmother's moves."

"You did pretty well last night."

"I know but, I can't-get it back for some reason."

"Do you have to match her moves?"

"I do," She said adamantly.

Ron formed a pyramid with his fingers and thumbs and placed the point to his lips, then politely pointed to her while saying, "See, that's your Kimness talking."

She gave him a quizzical look. "Well, I am Kim? What's wrong with that?"

"Your natural competitive Kimness has taken you to a very dark place."

She sighed, "You know what; I just need a little bit more practice. Everything is fine."

She brushed past him, entering the bathroom and forcing Ron to quickly hop out of the doorway. Before he could say another word the door slammed shut in front of him.

"My, 'everything is not fine,' advisory system is at high orange!" he shouted at the closed door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**1:30 PM**

Kim looked down at her lap where she held Pandaroo in a tender grasp. The doll's journey from a bag filled with her clothes to her lap had been an abrupt one. And it happened far quicker than Kim would have liked to admit. Her eyes cut from Pandaroo to her laptop. The clip of Nana's performance on U.S Bandstand had been on repeat and the show had just looped back to the beginning. With the light of a few decades shining upon it the "Rubberband dance," didn't just seem difficult, but also functionally absurd. It was a novelty dance routine that attempted to seamlessly incorporate every dance step the disco era had to offer. The "California Hustle," the "electric slide," the "John Travolta point," it had it all. And if that wasn't enough, you had to do most of the performance with an elastic band accessory. The elastic band was not far from what most health buffs these days would call a resistance band.

Sure the "egg beater," was a fairly simple maneuver to perform with your hands held together but YMCA was a pain, and it was nigh impossible to do a graceful rendition of the classic, "oops upside your head." Heck, good luck doing the "Pogo," with both hands holding up one end of the band and your feet holding down the other end. Yes it was truly absurd, yet as Kim watched Nana dance she couldn't help but see the art in motion, the beauty in movement. Indeed her grandmother was a special woman.

Kim held Pandaroo out in front of her and made the doll dance in time with the music. When the dance routine ended Kim made the doll bow deeply to the applause of the studio audience.

That was when Ron barged into the room.

"Alright, you can't make good pie without pre-heating the oven for ten minutes. So that gives me just enough me time to do what needs to be done."

Kim glanced up briefly before hiding Pandaroo behind her back. Ignoring this, Ron continued into the room. He reached into his pocket and fished out his cell phone. He took Kim's right hand and placed the phone into it. "You see this phone it's got an unlimited plan. You know what else is unlimited...your potential."

"I'm not really sure what's going on here," Kim replied with confusion in her voice.

"Just bear with me KP, I'm trying to motivate you."

Kim slowly stood up. "It's not a matter of motivation Ron, I can't match my grandmother's movement and her grace and-"

"Who said anything about matching? You're totally going to do better."

With her trademarked arched brow Kim said. "Am I missing something here?"

"Yeah, you're missing your eye of the tiger. You know you got it KP, it's the cream of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival and the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night and he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger."

"So you're quoting lyrics to me now."

"I'm trying to make a point." Ron countered.

"That I'm an Italian boxer from Philadelphia looking to go the distance?"

"Yes-I mean no-just listen to me alright, just listen."

"I'm all ears."

Ron inhaled and exhaled loudly. "What I'm saying here is that you are special."

Kim paused as her gaze softened

"KP?" Ron said hesitantly.

She shook her head. "Yeah sorry that's a bit much don't you think? It would be a little conceited if I thought myself special."

"OK Madam modesty, I'm not saying you're better than anyone else. I'm saying no one else is you. You're Kim Possible, if you put your mind your mind to it, you can do anything."

A small smile snuck into Kim's face. "It still kind of sounds braggy… but thanks, I appreciate it."

She started to turn towards her laptop but Ron put his hands on her shoulders and twisted her to face him.

"OK, before you go back to practicing, there's something I've wanted to ask and it's been bugging me all day."

Kim glanced at his hands on her shoulders, before meeting his gaze.

"Shoot."

"Are you having any fun?"

"What?" Kim exclaimed.

"There is a party out there and you're in here practicing. So I'm asking, are you having any fun?"

"Yes I am." She said after a moment's hesitation.

"Really?" Ron said skeptically

"What does it matter if I'm having fun or not?"

"It matters a lot."

"What does it matter to you_?"_

"What does it matter, to _you_?" Ron countered.

"You know what matters to me getting this performance down. Now if you don't mind…" Kim said letting her words trail off.

Ron did not move at initially. Kim could sense, could tell that he had something more to say. But she wasn't sure what he would say next. There came a long pause between them instead. His voice, when it came, she noticed was much lower than usual. "OK, I'll be downstairs if you need me."

When he turned to leave she turned back to the laptop.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**7 PM **

The tribute show was never meant to be an extravagant affair. And it certainly wasn't, the porch was the stage and the audience, or more specifically the Possible family plus one, were seated in plastic lawn chairs in the backyard.

"I see you've decided to stay." Nana Possible said as she grabbed a seat beside Ron.

"I'm as surprised as you are." He replied with a grin.

"I can't honestly say, I'm not all that surprised," Nana said staring forward.

Not knowing how to respond to that Ron simply said, "Um, OK."

"So how is Kimberly Anne? Whom, I've yet to see this evening."

"Kim is-working hard to get this performance done right."

"Good. Would you say she's working harder than she needs too?"

"Well, I think she's-a hard worker by heart."

"Of course. I am aware she's a hard worker, it's a fine characteristic to have."

"Most of the time," Ron muttered softly.

Nana glanced at him thoughtfully than she looked away; she glanced at him once more time and then turned away again. "That's, a fair, point."

Abruptly Joss plopped herself down in a free seat to Ron's left. "Hey there!"

"Ack!" Ron said practically falling off his seat.

"Ack?" Joss looked him over. "You're a jumpy feller aint ya?"

"I jump when people startle me."

Joss fixed her gaze on Ron and he squirmed a bit under the scrutiny of her studying eyes. "I'm still having a hard time figuring you out."

Ron nodded, "I understand completely, I'm a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in confusion. But yet, that doesn't really explain why you're so curious."

"I happen to be curious by nature." Joss glanced around before leaning in close. "Now, scuttlebutt going around is that you snuck into Kim's room last night?"

Ron quickly ran both hands across his face. "OK, first things first, what exactly is a scuttlebutt?"

"You know rumors, back-fence talk, suppositions."

"Ah, I did sneak back into the house but only to help Kim practice her dance routine."

A conspiratorial look, a mischievous look, came over Joss' face. "Is that what they call 'it,' in the city?"

Ron chuckled nervously as he glanced over his shoulders. "You're funny-that's funny-you're a funny-young lady. Too young actually, that's a rated R kind of joke."

Joss slapped him on the back in a good ol' country boy, sort of way. "Don't get so anxious –like I'm just messin' with ya."

"No, I get it. We're just kidding around here. But let me ask _you_ something. Does Mr. Dr. P know about this scuttlebutt?" Ron said as he scanned the immediate area for Mister Possible.

Ron spotted him on the porch standing beside Anne. Together they loosely supervised their sons as they set up speakers around the porch.

"Look at him, Uncle James is as happy as a dead squirrel in the sunshine. I'm pretty sure northing's reached his ear or my dad's for that matter."

"As happy as a dead squirrel, in the sunshine? Is that a saying, do people say that?"

"Sorry, guess that just slipped out." Joss said sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it. I kind of dig your twang."

"My twang? Well enjoy it while you can. By the time I'm old enough to move out to the city, I'll be rid of it."

"Why would you want to get rid of it?"

"I guess you often hear tell-tale twangs in the city huh? Can't really fit in with the hustle and bustle of the crowd if I sound like I'm fresh off the ranch can I?"

"Wouldn't you actually be fresh off the ranch?"

"That's not the point," Joss said irritably.

Ron ran his hands together. "Hey, I get wanting to fit in but your twang it's-I just think in this case, normal is not as interesting as what you've got going on. I guess sometimes normal is um…"

Ron stared forward as his words trailed off into silence.

"Normal is what?" Joss asked.

"It's normal. Normal is very normal." Ron shrugged.

"Well, I suppose we can glad conclude you're a tad far from being a poet.".

"Jocelyn-dear it seems like the boys are all set with the speakers. Isn't it time for the show to start?"

Taken aback, with eyes wide Ron and Joss' head snapped towards the elderly Possible.

"Nana, you weren't eavesdropping were you?" Joss asked.

Nana cupped her hand to her ear and leaned forward. "What's that dear? You'll have to speak louder I've become hard of hearing in my old age."

"Alright then, never mind," Joss said suspiciously.

"I just wanted to inform you Jocelyn that perhaps it's time for the show to start."

"Well heck, you're right Nana." Joss leaped out of her chair and started walking gingerly towards the porch.

Nana adjusted the glasses on her face. "A little bit of that enthusiasm I mentioned earlier. Joss is not as subtle as the rest of the family, and that is saying a lot."

_"Hmmm I might be starting to like her." _Ron thought

"Grandma P. You should know my window diving days are over and done. So, I'm not getting frightened off by a little small talk. I'm here to support KP, or until someone throws me out."

"Sounds good."

"And I hate to say this to one-half of the original dancers, but this dance is going to be cake to Kim."

With a half-smile on her face Nana turned to Ron. "I have no doubt."

Moments later James, Anne, and the twins took their seats and completed the audience. The show began with an introduction from Joss as she gave the history on Nana's brief but iconic fling with show business. Ron had heard most of the story from Kim the night before but Joss' version had the flair. Not to say Kim's initial version wasn't good, but it lacked the showmanship, the funny and cute little anecdotes about Nana Possible and the accompanying background music. Needless to say by the time Kim and Slim had stepped out of the house, and Joss returned to her seat, Ron was one hundred percent invested in the show.

Slim came out wearing a powder blue suit, raspberry shirt, and a pink and blue tie. Kim wore an equally comical canary-yellow suit with flared trousers and wide lapels. The Spirals big disco hit started to leak through the speakers as Slim of the Kim strutted towards the porch steps. When they were close enough to the steps Slim nodded to Kim and she nodded back. When the song's vocals kicked in uncle and niece gracefully entered the "Electric slide."

"_Hand me down my walkin' cane. Hand me down my hat. Hurry now and don't be late. 'Cause we ain't got time to chat. You and me we're goin' out. To catch the latest sounds, guaranteed to blow your mind. So high you won't come down…"_

As the chorus neared Slim and Kim pulled out of the "rolling grapevine," and plucked the elastic band from their back pockets. They then wrapped it around their hands in a series of graceful movements. Seemingly unhindered by the restrictive nature of the rubberband they seamlessly transited from the "Eggbeater," to the "Funky Chicken."

"_Hey, y'all prepare yourself, for the rubber-band man. You never heard a sound. Like the rubber-band man. You're bound to lose control when the Rubber band starts to jam…"_

Nana Possible had not doubted that Kim would be good but didn't imagine that her granddaughter would be nothing short of spectacular. Her individual performance was especially impressive considering the short amount of time that she had to practice. In contrast it had actually taken Nana a few days to get comfortable with the dance steps. Kim danced gracefully and was light on her feet. She precisely delivered every dance step without making one extraneous move. Individually, indeed she was superb, but as a dance partner? Nana quickly concluded Slim wasn't exactly setting the world afire, but he was doing a decent job keeping in time with the music. Yet if one looked closely you could tell that he and Kim were not in synch.

"_When I saw this short fat guy stretch a band between his toes. Hey, I laughed so hard 'cause the man got down, when he finally reached his goal!"_

This wasn't entirely Kim's fault, Nana thought as she watched her son and granddaughter hold the band down with their feet as they segued from the "Fresno," to the "Old Man." There was one thing Kim could not have learned in such a short amount of town with her very limited individual practice. The real magic to the rubberband dance was the teamwork. It was supposed to be as if the two dance partners had rubber-bands holding them together. When one partner moved to the left, the other moved to the left; if one stepped forward, the partner stepped forward. But as it stood, Kim wasn't really in tune with Slim at all. In fact upon closer inspection it seemed her focus was clearly elsewhere.

"_Hey, y'all prepare yourself, for the rubber-band man. You never heard a sound. Like the rubber-band man. You're bound to lose control when the Rubber band, starts to jam..."_

Erratic movement from the corner of her eye brought Nana out of the show. Initially she simply peeked over at Ron, but she was eventually forced to give him her complete attention. If you were just judging by a quick glance at Ron's head you would think he was simply staring forward with his hands on his lap. Moving further down you would notice his upper body was just slightly swaying from side to side. A glance further down revealed his feet going through a host of dance steps with unexpected speed and precision. After a moment Nana realized that the lower portion of Ron's body was doing the "Time Warp," while he sat in his seat.

Nana returned to her granddaughter, she too was doing the "Time Warp." Nana's gaze cut from Ron to Kim in rapid succession when Ron "stepped," to the right Kim stepped to her left. When she brought her knees together his did as well, when she gyrated her hips he simply squirmed a bit in his seat but for all intents and purposes they mirrored the others movements. Nana then tried to follow Ron's line of sight, though it was difficult to judge with Kim moving about, she was sure that they'd manage to catch each other's gazes at any given opportunity.

Nodding to herself, Nana leaned back in her seat to enjoy the rest of the show.

_Rubberband man starts to jam. Movin' up and down across the land, got people all in his way. Everything about him seems out of place. _

The performance was coming down to its exciting climax. A brief of execution of the "Robot," was quickly followed by what many would recognize as some of the highlight moves from John Travolta's solo routine in the movie Saturday Night Fever. It was actually the most difficult part of the performance requiring acrobatic maneuvering such as a jumping split. Slim being well into his middle ages wisely bowed out of this section and simply stepped back as Kim took the spotlight. Kim snapped the band high up into the air and performed a stag jump landing in a split with her right leg out and her right leg tucked under her backside. Swiftly she popped back onto crouching position, with her arms crossed over her chest. She straightened her legs propelling her body forward right into the jumping split. Effortlessly she landed on her feet and with a huge smile on her face she performed the "Travolta Point," holding up her right arm above her head. And it was just in time for her hand to snatch the falling band out of the air as the music came to an end.

"AH BOO-YAH!" Ron shouted as he jumped out of his chair pumping both fists in the air.

Startled, Kim lost balance and fell backwards on to her rear-end.

Silence reigned.

An awkward, nervous silence, as the remaining Possible family looked at each other, before their eyes fell upon Ron. At a loss for words, Ron simply placed his right hand over his face. He then sighed with resignation before sitting back down.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**8:12 PM**

Ron sat alone at the far end of the Possible backyard, leaning back into his seat he stared up into the night sky.

"Hey Adrian!"

He did not bother to look at Kim. In fact he neither laughed nor smiled at her failed attempt at humor. He simply continued staring.

"That was a joke. It's a callback to the conversation we had earlier; remember when you quoted the lyrics Rocky." Kim explained.

Ron finally responded by exhaling loudly. "OK, it's 'Yo Adrian,' not 'Hey Adrian.' Everyone knows in the movie he says Yo Adrian."

"Well I stand corrected," Kim said as she planted a plastic seat beside his chair and sat down right beside him. "So, you're just going to sulk back here with a party going on around you?"

"You fell onto your butt," Ron pointed out.

"I guessed you missed the part where I started laughing almost immediately after that and then everyone else started laughed? Actually you seem to be the only one bothered by it."

Ignoring her Ron returned his attention to the sky. "I guess I should accept it. You know it's like being born with one arm shorter than the other. It's just a 'natural fact of Ron Stoppable,' I am a mess. I am what I am."

"I see you've been reading Popeye's self-help book."

Ron turned to Kim. "OK, why are you firing off one-liners like an old-school comedian?"

"I'm not allowed to joke around?"

"Well, can you hold back on the zingers for a sec? We're having a serious conversation here."

"I think what is happening is that you're freaking out."

"You going to let me apologize?"

"Apologize for what?"

"We both know for what."

Kim sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Ron, I want you to understand that you're perception about what just happened and mine are on the opposite ends of the spectrum."

He drew in a deep breath. "KP, I'm sorry I brought your moment to shine to a screeching halt."

"Well, everyone has a role to play Ron," She smirked.

"Fine, if you're going to be unreasonable…" he turned away pouting with child-like petulance.

"Come on, I'm trying to lighten the mood. Because tonight is, 'Supposed to be about having fun.' Something I didn't _get_ until a few minutes ago."

Ron glanced over his shoulder. "So when I asked before-"

"I lied. You were right I was not having fun earlier. Even though the show, the party, the entire weekend was about the family getting together and having fun. I had lost sight of all that."

Ron twisted his body back towards Kim. "Well for what it's worth, you came, you saw, you kicked that dance's ass."

"Thanks," Kim ran a hand through her hair as her face softened some. "Anything is possible for a Possible, that's the family motto. I've heard it all my life. My dad says it all the time. There's been three times where I've doubted his words. The very first time was on the first day of pre-school, but I got the hang of school quickly enough. The second time was during an award ceremony in elementary school… that didn't work out to well, I got freaked seeing my folks in the front row and ran off instead of singing. Today is the third time I've heard that voice in the back of my head saying there are exceptions to every rule-"

"You don't need to tell me any of this you know," Ron interrupted.

"Um yeah I know. But I want to. She quickly inhaled and exhaled. "OK where was I?"

"You were saying you were kinda scared."

Kim nodded. "I guess that's right, I was a little scared, seems childish huh?"

"If that makes you childish then I'm…. I'm… I don't know a newborn or something-Anyway what I'm saying is, I get the fear."

They exchanged glances, as Ron's words settled in between them.

"KP, I know fear and anxiety like a fashion designer knows fabrics. I'm going to be honest; they're not a good look on you. Courage, strength, kindness, that's your style KP."

"And your style is-"

"Flawed," Ron interjected.

"You know, I don't think I appreciate the way you're talking about my best friend."

"I wasn't talking about Mo-"Ron paused as his brain processed this new information. "Whoa, whoa, you can't just toss something like that out there."

Kim tilted her head, resting her hand on her chin as she leaned a little in toward him. "Too late to take it back, not that I want to take it back."

"I thought you already had a best friend?"

"You're not going to leave me hanging here are you?"

Ron shook his head. "Look we're going to be thirty somethings before blink. We're too old for this kind of labeling. Really what are we doing, sitting here, and talking about best friends like we're in pre-school?"

"I suppose it would have been easier if you were there."

"What?"

"I said, I wish you were there… My first day of preschool… It would have made it… better."There was amusement, confidence, and a passive expectancy in Kim's face as she stared quietly at him.

Ron broke under the spotlight. He put a hand over her mouth, mumbled something, and immediately turned away.

"You say something?" Kim inquired.

Blowing out a breath Ron turned back to her and said. "You're my best friend."

"But I thought you already had a best friend!" Kim declared mock confusion on her face.

"Ha-ha-ha."

"Was it really that hard to say?" she asked.

Softly Ron said. "Most of the time KP it's easier to think something then to say something."

"I can understand that." Kim said with a nod.

"Do you? Because this is a huge emotional commitment for me."

"And I'm grateful," Kim pointed out.

"I don't just go off to any ol' bar and hand out best friend cards to any random stranger."

"OK… Neither do I."

"Good because I believe in the sanctity of the institution of best-friendship."

Kim licked her lips. "I'm not sure how you want me to respond to that statement. So I'm going to take it as a good thing and now switch gears. I saw the lineup for dinner on the kitchen table. My mom thinks you've got the stuff to be a chef."

"She's sweet to say that."

"She wasn't just saying that to be polite." Kim reached into her pocket and plucked out Ron's cell phone. "You see this phone."

"OK," Ron rolled his eyes.

"It's got an unlimited plan-" Kim continued with a smile.

"Alright it was a corny when I said it. It's going to be corny when you say it."

"You know what else is unlimited Ron, your potential. Potential boy."

Ron couldn't help but smile as Kim took his right hand and placed the phone into his open palm. He instinctively clasped his hand around the phone and consequently Kim's fingers. A warm tingle passed through them both before Ron became aware that he had too long a hold on her fingers and let go.

Kim spoke up first. "Ron there's something I wanted to talk to you about. Now you'll probably think this is a terrible, horrific idea but-"

Sudden musical fanfare interrupted Kim. She and Ron shifted their gaze back towards the Possible's porch-stage area. As the fanfare continued the smatterings of conversations around the backyard from the rest of the family settled down. They caught sight of Tim rushing back into the house as Jim bowed fancifully before the audience. He then extended his hand out holding up a small electronic device for the world to see.

"What's with the palm pilot?" Ron inquired.

"Knowing the tweebs, I'm going to guess it's a remote control." Kim sighed.

"Huh?"

"My brothers they like to build things."

Jim paced the porch, waving and calling the "audience," forward as if he were a carnival barker. When Ron and the Possibles drew up to the porch steps the backdoor of the Possible house swung open. Tim exited the house with a stretcher in tow. Ron did a double take as the stretcher was seemingly bearing a body covered from head to foot with an oil-splattered blanket. Grinning broadly, Tim wheeled the stretcher to the porch steps.

"Frankenstein?" Ron whispered to Kim.

"The scary thing is that I wouldn't be shocked," she replied.

"Where do you think they got the stretcher?"

Kim answered with a simple shrug. Jim continued his carnival barker persona by waving his arms about and shouting. "Ladies and gentleman I introduce you to Fudbell the mad lawn gnome."

"Did he just say gnome?" Ron squeaked.

Tim snatched the sheet off the stretcher, and Ron stifled in a shriek. As far as lawn gnomes went Fudbell's design was pretty archetypical, except for the fact that it was close to six feet tall. Now there had been dreams, where Ron had been mauled by "giant," gnomes before. But those gnomes had only been big enough to reach over and take a bite out of his thigh. This _abomination _was beyond anything Ron had ever imagined.

Jim tapped eagerly on his remote and suddenly Fudbell sat upright on its own. Then swiftly and gracefully the robot slid right off the stretcher onto its feet.

Slim drifted closer to the porch steps. "Well that's mighty impressive boys, you build it yourself?"

"Naturally," Tim said. "All used parts, scrapyards, dumps, imports."

"Legally sanctioned imports right boys?" James Possible said.

Tim and Jim caught each other's eyes. In unison they said, "Sure, let's go with that."

Kim was shaking her head when Joss tapped her on the shoulder. "Um cousin, Ron is not looking to swell."

Kim turned to Ron only to discover that his color had changed to a fine shade of deathly pale. When she laid a hand on his arm she felt his body tremble. Kim then caught a fleeting flash of panic in his eyes.

"Is he gonna be alright? He's as pale as Marley's ghost," Joss remarked.

"Grande-sized gnome," Ron said in a quivering voice.

"He is afraid of gnomes," Kim said out loud.

"Me…afraid? _Yes_," Ron said with a cracked voice.

"It's not like it's a real gnome, cousin, it's a robot."

"I'm going to guess that's the kind he fears most of all."

Back on the porch Tim slapped Fudbell on the back. "We thought it would be a good idea for Nana's party to be Fudbell's debut."

"He looks impressive," said Slim. "But what is his primary function?"

"His primary function? His primary function is a party machine. You ever seen a robot programmed to mingle, the AI has a dialog tree that encompasses a wide range of diverse topic from popular culture to theorizing about string theory-"

Jim continued. "He can tell jokes, clean or dirty. I'm talking about thousands of pre-loaded jokes for every occasion-"

"-It compliments everyone no matter what they look like. You ask if it plays music? Heck it's a DJ-"

"-It can dance; it'll lead a Conga line if it has to. It knows thousands of jokes, clean or dirty-"

"-It can also do magic tricks, and juggle," Tim tacked on.

"But why does it look like a gnome?" Anne inquired.

"Oh that's just to freak out Ron. He told us he was scared of gnomes a while ago. Fudbell's shell is actually customizable. He can be a clown, a magician, a butler or a strip-."

Jim elbowed Tim in the ribs.

Tim recovered quickly. "Did I mention he can light up the night sky with fireworks? Step back everyone, Nana we're going illuminate the sky with your name. Jim let 'er rip bro."

Jim gave the Possible family some time to back away before he jammed his pointer finger down on the remote.

But nothing happened.

The twins stood there in silence waiting, and then they glanced at the audience then back at Fudbell. Again and again, Jim repeated the process of slamming the tip of his pointer finger into the remote, but to their dismay, nothing happened.

"What's going on?" Tim whispered to her brother.

"I think it's a bug," Jim whispered.

"We don't get bugs!"

As if on cue, immediately after Tim's declaration Fudbell's head started spinning wildly on its axis.

"This is quite unsettling boys." James Possible remarked as he watched Fudbell's head spin. "I'm sure your grandmother appreciates your efforts but it seems you'll need to work out a few kinks on your project here."

"I thought you said we don't get bugs!" Tim shouted as Jim continued to poke the controller.

"You're the one who said that," Jim fired back.

"Wait!" Tim grabbed the remote from his brother. "Let's try rebooting the configuration."

He had just started tinkering with the remote when Anne Possible let out a yelp when a round object flew past her face and splattered on the lawn, leaving wet grass and tiny pieces of plastic in its wake. Before anyone could say another word a second object seemingly departed from Fudbell's rapidly rotating head and crashed through the Possible's kitchen window.

"Boys! The windows!" James shouted.

A third object cut through the air, past most of the Possibles and made a beeline towards Kim and Ron. Reacting quickly Kim pushed Ron to her right before diving to her left dodging the incoming missile. Falling to the ground she watched the object splatter on the grass.

"Don't worry everyone they're just-"A flash of blue smacked squarely in Jim's face and suddenly he was drenched in from head to toe. "-Water balloons."

"Oh crud! Its initiated Operation Senior Sledgehammer!" Tim cried.

A fourth balloon was sent crashing through another kitchen window.

"What in the world is Operation Senior Sledgehammer?" James shouted to his sons.

"Well to be honest Fudbell's secondary function is crashing Scotty McPherson's massive birthday party next week." Jim said.

"No big deal, some water balloons tossed here and there, harmless fun "Tim explained.

"-Boys will be boys you know." Jim stated.

Anne came up beside her husband and joined him in glowering at their sons.

"In our defense, McPherson is the jerkiest senior there ever was," Tim declared.

"Ron, are you OK?" Kim asked as she brushed grass from her yellow suit.

Ron groaned softly as he lay on the ground. "KP, how does a person know if they're slipping into shock?"

"He's a bit of a scardy cat huh?" Joss said.

"Jocelyn dear, a proper lady does not cast disparaging remarks on a guest of her family's home," Nana called out from a few feet away.

_"I thought she was paying attention to the robot. So much for hard of hearing,_" Joss thought to herself.

"Here let me help," Kim said to Ron.

"I actually think I'll stay down here until the, uh, abomination is gone."

"How is lying on the grass making things better?" Kim asked.

"Aren't you supposed to play dead when a robot attacks?"

"You're thinking of bears. Besides this thing isn't really attacking is it?"

"All I know is my instincts tell me to lie down. That way if it does attack, it won't notice me, just like the rest of the world."

Rolling her eyes Kim started to walk over to him but another yelp from her mother stopped her in the tracks. She turned her attention back to Fudbell. The good news was that its head had stopped spinning and was back in its proper position. The bad news was that it suddenly started to descend the porch steps.

With a tinny voice from somewhere inside its head, the gigantic gnome delivered one of its pre-loaded jokes-

"What…is… the… difference… between… erotic… and… kinky? Erotic… is…using... a… feather . . . Kinky is using… the… whole… chicken."

-Right before its jaw dropped down to its chest and from its gaping mouth came another balloon that caught Slim Possible in the chest.

"If… at… first… you… don't… succeed... don't try…skydiving." Fudbell said as it immediately blindsided Anne Possible with another balloon.

It then immediately soaked James Possible down after delivering a one man knock-knock joke. To the remaining Possible's chagrin, Fudbell continued marching deeper into the backyard.

"The laser sensors target the closest person to it. If you don't want to get wet you need to move out of range or let someone else get in range first!" Tim shouted to them.

"What's the… best…. form… of… birth… control… after… 50... Nudity!" Fudbell said right before catching a streaking Joss in the back of the head.

"What… do… you… call… a… smart… blonde? A… golden… retriever."

"I find that offensive," Ron muttered from the ground as Fudbell ignored him completely and walked past his prone body.

Fudbell volleyed a shot at Kim. But she dodged sideways and the balloon simply grazed her face. She then darted backwards, putting distance between her and the pursuing robot.

"It's an inadequate IR signal, I can fix it," Jim said as he grabbed the controller from Tim's hands.

"No the problem is with the keypad" Tim said snatching the controller back. "Do we have any acetone and conductive paint in the house?"

"Boys perhaps it's not the controller but the robot that's the problem here," Slim Possible said as he attempted to wrench water from the front of his shirt.

The mechanical gnome locked onto Kim and continued its assault. Kim continued dodging left and right across the lawn. Back on the porch the Tweebs frustration had reached it's peaked, and their mutual anger culminated with Tim hurling the remote at the back Fudbell's head. The controller smacked harmlessly against the gnome, cracked in two, and fell into the ground.

"Alright! Somebody just break him already!" Jim shouted out.

"Well, I hate to destroy one of my grandchildren's inventions but I'm afraid that I will have to have to put you out of commission Fudbell."

Detecting motion though the corners of its infrared sensors Fudbell turned in time to receive a tremendous kick to the back thank to Nana Possible.

"Hmm not enough high in that high kick," Nana sighed.

Fudbell stumbled three of four steps forward before sparks erupted from its upper body. A roar of approval erupted from the twins. When the electrical discharge rescinded Fudbell turned a stiff ninety degrees to its left brining its full attention to Nana and away from Kim. The robot stared down Nana with expressionless eyes for a moment a moment before its chest began to open like a slow sliding door.

"Nana the open chest compartment means it's finally activated the fireworks protocol!" Tim called out from the porch.

"Everyone get back in the house, this has gotten uber dangerous!" Jim yelled out.

"Fireworks, that sounds like a problem," Nana stated.

Nana made a move to run but found herself losing ground on the wet grass. She slipped up and came down heavily on her knees. She attempted to rise up, but she felt a sharp throbbing in her knees and they both gave way beneath her causing her to fall backwards upon the grass like a log. Nana glanced up to see lights blinking inside Fudbell's chest and heard loud clicking noises that sounded a little too closely to ammunition rounds being loaded into a chamber.

She glanced at her knees. "I knew old age would be the death of me, but not like this."

Nana was gathering up her courage for the inevitable when Ron suddenly leaped onto Fudbell's back.

"Ronald! What are you doing! The robot targets the closest person to it!" Nana shouted out.

"I know, that's why I'm so scared! But you can run now!"

In a frantic attempt to get Ron in its line of sight Fudbell started to buck like a mechanical bull. Initially it started off slowly then it began to move rapidly from right to left and then up and down. Ron held on tightly with one hand and waved the other about in the air to try and keep his balance. He couldn't hold off for long however, once Fudbell went into overdrive Ron simply slid down the gnome's side onto the ground.

Now locked onto Ron, Fudbell immediately turned to him.

Ron offered the gnome a timid smile. "Hey I'm Ron, um, consider yourself distracted."

Kim came in fast launching herself at Fudbell, executing a high kick that slammed against the robot's head. The blow snapped the gnome's head right off its shoulders and sent it rolling towards Nana Possible. There was a brief discharge of sparks from the neck area before Fudbell stopped moving altogether.

"Now that was the right amount of high for a high kick," Nana said as she slowly climbed to her feet.

"Is it over?" Ron asked.

"I think," Kim said as she cautiously inspected Fudbell's headless body.

"Good thing we were too cheap to use steel." Jim declared before nodding to his brother. They then immediately reached into Fudbell's body and began pulling out wires.

Kim extended her hand and helped Ron to his feet.

"Just in time KP, you really saved the day."

She smiled. "You didn't do so bad yourself. I think we can call this a team effort"

"Seems like most of us are a little wet but otherwise A-OK," Joss proclaimed.

"Thank goodness," Anne sighed joining the scene.

"Let's not drop our guards just yet, boys is that thing officially offline," Slim inquired.

"It is now," Jim said with a handful of wires.

There came another click and a panel in Fudbell's back popped open like a garage door.

"KP, look-out!"

Ron jumped in front of Kim just as something was fired from the gnome's hidden compartment. The Possible's gasped out loud and Ron stifled a scream, when the medium sized rubber ball stuck him in the groin.

"Oh right, we also optimized it to fire dodge balls." Tim announced as he tore another handful of wires from his creation.

The gnome let of bits of sparks for a last time before collapsing to the ground.

"Are you alright?" Kim asked.

Ron had enough of his senses to be distinctly aware that if it wasn't for the blinding pain he might have had a few choice words for his best friend. Words such as "chaos," and some coherent combination of the words "told I so you." Instead he saved what he imagined could very well be his last breath for her mother.

"Mrs. Dr. P. in your professional opinion do I head towards or away from the light?" He asked before doubling over and falling forward.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Looks like I'm alive," Ron muttered as he blinked up at Kim.

"You're alive," she said chuckling softly.

James Possible suddenly appeared beside his daughter with a bath towel draped along his shoulders.

"I'd take it easy there, Ronald. You've just experienced a traumatic event."

"I'm fine," Ron made an attempt to get up to his feet but a sharp jabbing sensation in his groin area paralyzed his motor skills. "OK no, I think I'll just lie here on the lawn for a minute or two."

"I don't blame you; take as much time as you need."

"KP…" Ron whispered softly.

She knelt beside him leaning in close. "Yes Ron?"

"How did your brothers fit fireworks, water balloons and dodge balls into that robot's body?"

"Uh-I don't know…"

"It seems impossible…The lines between science and magic beginning to blur."

Confusion reigned on Kim's face. "Wouldn't you rather know how long you've been passed out?"

"Doesn't really matter as long as I woke up."

"Well I guess that's true. Listen I know you're in pain but it's just some minor swelling; you'll be fine in a few days."

"Minor swelling?" Ron gasped. "How do you know that?"

The twins suddenly popped into Ron's field of vision.

"Dude that low blow was totally not our intention." Tim said

Jim leaned over, the water from his hair dripping down onto Ron. "We might have wanted to freak you out with the gnome design, but we did not literally want to break your -."

"Guys," Kim groaned.

"Well it could have been worse." Joss said as she suddenly appeared with a towel wrapped around her head. "He could have gotten hit by them fireworks instead of the dodge ball."

"Joss," Kim said.

"I'm just putting a positive spin on this entire thing cousin."

"A positive spin that's exactly what we need," Slim declared from outside of Ron's viewpoint. "I was saving it for the birthday song but I suppose it's as good a time as any to break out the guitar."

"Good idea son." Ron heard Nana reply a moment before she and Anne appeared over him. Anne also had a towel draped around her shoulders.

"All is not lost; it's true that the dinner we had planned has been soaked. But we still have the cake. It was in the oven at the time of the _incident_. "

Anne then stared daggers at the twins who slinked away from her sight.

"You know we can have ourselves a birthday picnic out in the backyard," Joss stated.

"That's a swell idea I'll get the blankets," James said before walking off.

Anne turned to Joss. "There's a bottle of aspirin in the medicine cabinet upstairs, can you get that for Ron along with a cup of water."

"Can do."

Anne beamed down at Ron as Joss departed. "I would like to offer my thanks for all that you've done today, Ron."

"I didn't mind helping out with the food Mrs. Dr. P, I'm sorry most of it got destroyed."

"Not that I do not appreciate your help with the food. But I was referring to risking yourself to help Kim and Nana."

"Oh right…."

"Well I'm going to grab some paper plates."

Ron watched Anne walk off and Nana stepped into her place.

"I've pinched a dab of the icing. If the rest of the cake is as good, you just might have a hit on your hands."

"You like the icing? I thought I might have skimped a little on the sugar," Ron replied.

"You are a hard young man to compliment."

"Well you can thank a creeping sense of inadequacy for that."

"So I suppose it wouldn't do to compliment you're bravery. Perhaps some wisdom will make due in lieu of praise." Nana cleared her throat. "To quote Wayne Burrow, 'To ourselves, we are great. Yet most of us live life without making a stand, contented to blend into the background of self-rendering nothingness, and when looking back feel contented at our mediocre accomplishments. Nobody remembers the person who conformed out of inadequacy. Nobody notices a patch of grass, they see the tree'..."

"I understand," Ron said.

"Good. Now I'm going to compliment you anyway. You were very brave; I appreciate you stepping in when you did." _"I like you boy, you may be good for Kim and the family."_

Having said her keep Nana started off towards the house. "Anne dear, forget the birthday song and the candles let's just start handing out cake."

"That was a little odd," Ron remarked. "Do you have any idea what that quote meant?"

"I could have sworn you said you understood." Kim said as sat down on the grass besides Ron's head.

"I was speaking for my future self. I'm sure I'll understand eventually get the idea after giving it a few days thought. I mean I'll probably get it someday-Hey how do you know about the minor swelling?"

"Oh, my mom told me."

"And how does she know?"

Before Kim could answer the twins returned. "Dude again, total apologies about everything. Guess what we totally owe you a favor." Tim said.

Jim nodded. "We can build you a car, we'll build you a website, software hardware, you name it."

"Or maybe you need someone pranked, remote control someone's desktop?" Tim suggested.

"No _shady_ favors tweebs." Kim said frowning at her brothers.

"Right, we can talk about the specific details later." Tim said waving his hand in the air. "But on a positive note, awesome job on the other thing."

"I told Tim we could count on you," Jim said.

"To be honest, I didn't really do it as much for _you_ _guys_."

"Doesn't matter, mission accomplished dude." Jim countered.

"Mission way accomplished." Tim concluded.

"No problem fellas, just keep a leash on Skynet from now on. The robot apocalypse doesn't need to happen in my lifetime."

"Hicka-bicka-boo?" Tim and Jim said simultaneously.

Visibly confused Ron looked up at Kim. "What?"

"You answer that with Hoo-Sha. It's like their secret weird twin language."

Ron turned to the twins. "Hoo-sha?"

"Hoo-sha!" They echoed gleefully before running off.

"What was _that_ all about?" Kim asked. "The mission accomplished stuff."

"Guy talk."

"Guy talk?"

"Yes, a discussion between men. No girls allowed."

"Should I be worried that you're engaging in guy-talk with my brothers?"

"Yes, yes you should. By the way does your mom have X-ray vision?"

"Not that I know of."

"Then how did she know about the minor swelling."

"Well she checked." Kim said sheepishly.

"What-do-you-mean- she-checked?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Pillow delivery," James Possible crowed.

"Thanks dad."

Kim received the pillow from her father, placed it on her lap and then proceeded to lift Ron's head onto it

"That looks semi-comfortable. A little less than you deserve after jumping in to help Kim and my mother. Slim and I could give you a lift to the couch if you want Ronald."

"My body is not ready to make any sudden movements Mr. Dr. P."

"I understand. Boys help me spread some of these blankets on the lawn." James called out before walking off.

"Aspirin and a cool glass of water, doctor's orders," Joss announced when she abruptly reappeared.

Ron lifted his upper body just enough to receive the two pieces of aspirin, and then washed them down with the glass of water.

Joss smiled as Ron handed her back the empty glass. "I'm not sure if I can get enough pieces in two days to put the puzzle together. But I figure putting the puzzle together ought to be my cousin's job. I'll just say this; a good heart is like good jelly, it spreads."

"Joss, can you get some soda out of the fridge!" Anne shouted from afar.

"Yes-ma'am," Joss replied before running off.

"I'm not exactly sure what she said but I like the way she said it. That twang, it's just a better way of speaking."

"I'd say she believes you're a good person at heart." Kim said.

"Smart as a whip that kid. So KP… How did your mom find out about my _swelling_?"

"Ron, don't you think there are some aspects to life that are better left as mysteries."

Ron closed his eyes and sighed. "You're saying let sleeping dogs lie?"

"It's for the best."

It was then that Ron felt something clasp around his right hand. There was a brief bout of panic when he imagined a curious tarantula had popped out of the grass and decided to get acquainted with his palm. He opened his eyes, turned his head and was shocked by what he saw.

"KP you seem to be holding my hand."

"Yeah I know. I think we're having a little moment here."

"Really?"

"Don't question the moment Ron."

"What if I'm not ready for a moment? You need to tell me about these things ahead of time so I can prepare myself."

"Ron," she said squeezing his hand. "No one can ever really be prepared for a moment. Now I'm thinking it was pretty selfish of me to insist on-well I did allot of insisting these last two days. I shouldn't have placed you in a position that made you uncomfortable, and add to that you getting hurt-"

"Kim we had a twenty four hour agreement. For twenty four hours I was supposed to say what the heck to anything"

"That includes jumping on a rogue robot's back?"

"Well to be honest my brain said don't do that, you're crazy. But something inside me said 'stand down brain if a math question pops up then you can chime in.' So technically Kim everything I did this weekend, I wanted to do."

"Thanks" Kim replied softly.

The strumming of a guitar with gusto interrupted their conversation. Still in wet clothes Slim Possible struck out a few chords and stopped beside Kim and Ron.

"I think I know the right song for this occasion."

Slim grinned at them and played different chords this time, something softer. He moved further on to where Ron assumed the rest of the family was sitting picnic-style. When Slim began singing, the rest of the Possibles besides Kim joined in.

"_With a little love and some tenderness, we'll walk upon the water; we'll rise above the mess. With a little peace, and some harmony, we'll take the world together. We'll take 'em by the hand, 'Cause I've got a hand for you 'Cause I wanna run with you_."

"I can't believe a concert just broke out. You Possibles can really adapt." Ron stated.

Kim nodded to herself. "We Possibles are a very optimistic and flexible clan."

"I like them. They're weird but I like them."

Kim looked down at him questioningly

"I do," Ron said meeting her gaze. "I like you Possibles."

"I think the feeling is mutual," Kim said with a smile.

"_I said get up, and let me see you smile. We'll take a walk together; walk the road awhile, 'cause I've got a hand for you. I've got a hand for you. 'Cause I wanna run with you. Won't you let me run with you_? _Hold my hand, want you to hold my hand. Hold my hand, I'll take you to a place where you can be. Hold my hand, anything you wanna be because. I wanna love you the best that, the best that I can."_

* * *

A/N

If you're thinking that's the end of the story, then you're it's not. There still a bit more to go. I mulled over whether or not to have the entire sequence with the tweebs robot because a part of me thought that perhaps it didn't fit in with the tone of the story. But obviously I ended up keeping it for better of for worse. But thanks for reading, drop a review if you can.


	14. Blessings in disguise

So I'm back after a long, long hiatus. TBH 2012 was not the best year for me. I had some deaths in my immediate family and some financial trouble but all these negatives have led to a positive. I'm actively trying to pursue my dream of being a writer. So I am working on original stories.

That said unless I've announced the story is abandoned it's not. So unless I god-forbid become incapable of writing I will update this story. I understand it's been a long ass time, and its frustrating surely. But I promise the story will end eventually, and hopefully some of you will still be around.

* * *

It was dawn, cool and clear, as Kim helped Ron along the sidewalk towards his house. He leaned onto her shoulder more than he wanted to and Kim was aware of that. So even though it wasn't too much of a problem, she made a conscious effort not to struggle even slightly beneath his weight.

"KP, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

Ron turned to Kim excitedly and with much drama he said. "Do you think I'll be able to roller skate when the pain wears off?"

"I don't see why not."

"That's funny," Ron said wistfully. "I wasn't able to before."

Kim rolled her eyes. "How long were you waiting to use that one?"

"Longer than I am willing to admit Kim."

Ron then glanced up at the sky and drew in some of the crisp air. "I can't believe it's almost morning. When I got invited to your grandma's party I had not expected it to be an all-nighter."

"That happens when you're traveling at the speed of fun."

"Huh?"

Kim averted her gaze. "Sorry that's just a corny saying my dad has."

"Your family has a lot of sayings."

"Yeah, we do. Be honest though did you really have fun?"

"Kim on one hand I experienced a traumatic pain that will follow me to my dreams; on the other hand, I had a good time with you and your family. So the pros outweigh the cons."

Kim eyed him curiously. "You realize that you're expressing a fairly non-cynical philosophy."

"I know, maybe your mom should have checked me for brain damage."

"See I always thought that you'd have to get hit around the…" She first was pointing near the front of her forehead but soon just waved her hand back and forth and continued, "I don't know head area to get brain damage."

"That's naive Kim. Much of a guy's critical thinking skills can be influenced by his bottom half." 

Slowly but surely Kim and Ron made their way up the steps leading to the Stoppable's porch. Ron was bracing himself for the final step when he noticed the smile on Kim's face.

"So you're looking real cherry too."

Kim let out a soft sigh. "You know, for whatever reason, it's been awhile since I had fun with my family. I didn't realize that until tonight. I'm kind of glad things turned out this way."

Her eyes quickly darted to and from Ron's bottom half. "Well not exactly this way."

"Yes I guess I'll be spending most of spring break nursing myself."

Ron rewound the last statement in his head. "Sorry I didn't realize how "Ew," that sounded until it came out my mouth."

Kim chuckled softly. "It's OK"

"Anyway you can just drop me off here." Ron said as they stood before the front door. "I should be able to tuck myself in."

"You sure you're going to be OK?"

Ron slipped his arm from Kim's shoulder. He straightened up, made an attempt to shift his weight, but the end result was a massive cringe that enveloped his entire face. He quickly returned to a slanted standing position.

"I...ahm...Pahzateeve" he forced out.

Kim started to speak but after quick study of Ron's face she stopped herself. "OK I guess I'll go. I'll call you."

"KP."

"Yeah?"

"Your family is awesome."

She smiled brightly. "I know." 

"Thanks for inviting me over."

It hadn't been what one would call a conscious move. Kim didn't even catch herself until she was already in the process of leaning forward. The sudden realization of what she was doing left her partially frozen in place. At the time however a lightning bug had caught Ron's attention so he missed the scene when Kim drew closer with her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. He turned his attention back to her to find her face, bug-eyed in surprise, unusually close to his own.

"So KP… whoa-" startled he took a step half step back.

Kim anxiously brushed strands of hair from her face. "So Um... OK... Sayonara."

"Yeah, bye" Ron said visibly confused.

Sayonara? Kim thought to herself as she hit the sidewalk in stride. What was that about?

She asked herself that question well over a dozen times before reaching the Possible's front door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sudden close up with Kim's face left Ron with moist palms. So he found himself in the odd position of climbing, bowlegged, up the stairs to his room while wiping his hands down his shirt. Ron mused on the strangeness of his life until he came up to the door of his room. There, just around waist level, he found a piece of paper taped to his door.

'Well it's either Han' or a leprechaun."

Ron gently pulled the piece of paper off the door and pushed his way into his room. A quick glance at the construction revealed a work of art. Two stick figures held hands beneath a rainbow and what Ron assumed was a heart shaped sun. The stick figure on the left had mini yellow spikes protruding from his head the stick figure on the left had threads of red running down her head past her shoulders.

Smiling Ron folded the art and slid it into his back pocket.

_I mean it's not a terrible idea Han...it's just the wrong idea._

He was seconds away from dropping right into bed and embracing the sandman, when his cell phone vibrated to life. He plucked the phone from his left pocket and glanced at the caller I.D.

It was Jake. Ron put the phone to his ear.

"Ron dude, I've got an opportunity for you. Actually it's for us. But it's right up your alley. Now before I tell you what it is, I want you to promise me that before you panic and say no, you'll really give this some serious consideration. I mean seriously this has serious potential."

"Serious potential?"

"Yes, that's what I just said."

Ron thought about it for a moment before saying. "Ah, why not."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Kim"

Oblivious to her mother's call Kim marched past her parent's room and continued down the hall.

"Kimberly."

Kim spun to face her mother. She blurted out. "I'm not confused!"

Silence reigned as mother and daughter volleyed blinks back and forth.

"Well sweetie, I was not aware that there was something causing you confusion."

Kim shook her head. "Actually no, there's nothing to be confused about. Which is why I am certainly not confused."

"Fair enough, I suppose," Anne's words trailed off into an awkward pause. "So did Ronald get home ok?"

"He got home just fine." Kim said quickly. "I mean he was politely pretending that he wasn't in a decent amount of pain but he was in a good mood when I left him."

"Good, I hope you thanked him for coming over."

Kim nodded. "Hey do you think Nana was disappointed with how the party turned out?"

As if on cue Nana appeared at the head of the stairs. "Actually it turned out better than I expected."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, there was music, dancing, and danger. It reminded me of my time in Paris where I had a run in with a thief by the name of Jean Pierre Gestat. He was a dangerous man, overtly sensual; if I had not been married to your grandfather that might have been a problematic time in my life. Now your grandfather was the epitome of still waters running deep. Never mind if it were a snowstorm in the Arctic. If your grandfather were around, I would be in no need of a heater."

James Possible's head abruptly popped out of the Possible's bedroom. "Mother...please.."

Kim and Anne snickered in delight.

"Sorry dear, well what are birthdays for if not nostalgia. All in all it brought some excitement back to these old bones."

"I'm glad it turned out so well" Kim chirped happily.

"Well speaking of old bones. I think it's time I get to bed."

"Yes let's get some shut eye."

James' head retreated back into the room and Nana Possible started off in the direction of the guest room.

Before Anne could follow after her husband Kim called after her.

"Mom, can I ask you a quick question."

"Of course."

"What's the line between helping someone and imposing your will on their lives?"

Anne looked at her daughter with a bemused expression; embarrassed a subtle red came to Kim's cheek.

"Never mind mom. That was just um, I don't know."

"Perhaps it's time for you to get some sleep sweetie."

"Yeah, yeah that's probably a good idea."

After laying a peck on her mother's cheek, Kim walked away. However her destination was not yet her own bedroom. In a few moments she was in the Possible kitchen, where two figures, one with a mop, the other a broom, pushed their respective tools across the messy tiled floor.

"How's the cleanup going, tweebs?"

"Not bad" Tim said.

"Yeah, besides the forced labor," Jim continued.

"Well you guys are aware you've brought all this down on yourselves right?"

"Does that mean we can't be angry about it?" Jim asked.

"I don't think we should be punished for our pursuit of science." Tim remarked.

"I don't think science calls for the destruction of our house."

"You don't even live here anymore, besides science is neutral on matters of house destruction."

Kim chuckled to herself. "OK guys, I came here to talk about Cynthia McGannon."

"The Nessie?"

"Yes the Nessie," she said with air quotes. "Can you point me in the direction of the site you found her on?"

"Well we've got her bookmarked obviously. But the real question is what's the deal is?"

Kim drew in a deep breath. "I think I want to contact her."

* * *

A/N

This might be the shortest chapter I've ever done on . But I hope its a decent taste of more to come.


	15. If it aint broke

_Didn't take _over two years this time. Thanks to all those still hanging with me through the years I appreciate that, I really do. I am not going to completely abandon this story you have my word.

* * *

_Is this really happening?_ Monique thought to herself as her eyes danced back and forth from the television set in her parent's living room to Kim, who was currently sharing a seat with her on the couch. The television featured live coverage from Florida where dozens of attractive young men and women were enjoying the benefits of a corporately sponsored pool party. Kim had her eyes glued to her cell phone, her thumb flicking across the device as she scrolled and scrolled and scrolled.

Monique sighed. "Kim, does it not seem strange to you that instead of spring breaking on a sandy beach we've come back home?"

"It's crossed my mind," Kim answered without looking up from her cell phone.

Monique sighed heavily. "Honesty time Miss Possible, are we goody two-shoes?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far" Kim chuckled.

"How far would you go?"

"Monique, you and I are creatures of atmosphere and mood. We don't just go 'wild' for going wild's sake, y'know? We need the right circumstances and also probably the right person to go wild with."

"You think Ron is the right person?"

Kim glanced up from her cell phone.

"For you," Monique added sweetly.

"That's an odd thing to say, Monique."

"Is it? If you haven't noticed I'm going to clue you in… You're in my house e-stalking his ex-girlfriend."

Kim put a hand up in the air. "Allow me to correct you on a few things—"

"Please do," her friend requested while locking her arms across her chest.

"-She's not Ron's _ex_ and this is nothing at all like stalking. This is closer to….intelligence gathering."

"I was not aware that we were working for the NSA."

Kim rolled her eyes before extending the phone to Monique. "I came over to get your opinion on something important. Tell me what you think?"

"What do I think about, what?"

Kim's tongue darted quickly over her lips. "You think she's pretty?"

Eyeing her friend suspiciously Monique graciously accepted the phone. After a meticulous glance she declared. "She's not pretty, Kim. She's a stone, cold, fox."

"You think so?" was the weak reply.

"My eyeballs _know _so. So we are concerned about her attractiveness because...?"

Kim drew in a deep breath.

"She broke his heart Monique, but I was thinking it might do Ron some good to get some closure."

"Does he want closure?" Monique shot back.

"Closure is healthy" Kim said with a tense smile.

"That doesn't answer my question, Kim."

"Closure can't hurt."

Monique provided Kim with a skeptical look but the redhead ignored it.

"Of course I'm going to talk to Ron about this first. He might not even want to go through with it, I don't know how I'm going to convince to him."

Leaning back into the couch cushions Monique laughed. "He's going to say yes if _you _ask. You and I both know this, what you're really worried about is that he's going to take one look at this girl and once again fall madly in love."

"Actually," Kim said as she retrieved her phone from Monique. "It's more like I'm worried that he might get hurt again."

"Girl, you just said closure can't hurt."

"Monique, you are complicating the issue here," Kim replied with a wave of her hand.

"I just want to let you know Kim. I am looking at your face right now and your face is telling me that there is a whole lot of conflict going on beneath all that red."

Kim pointed at herself. "I have only one concern at the moment, Monique and it's regarding Ron's happiness. That's all there is to it."

"Alright Miss Altruism, that is understandable from your perspective. From another perspective it might seem like you are sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

Kim sighed as she rubbed head with the heel of one hand, "I get that…but-"

"But you think you are right?"

"-I think this for the best," Kim corrected. "I'm not going to push… I'm just going to offer a suggestion."

"So you're not meddling, you are giving advice."

"Exactly," Kim nodded.

Monique nodded along. "You know you could have just texted me that photo, right?"

Kim smiled sheepishly. "I needed a face to face on this one, Monique."

"Uh –huh," Monique said turning her attention back to the television. "Well, just remember what they say about advice, it's judged by results not by intentions."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The door to Ron's parents' house flew open seconds after Kim's finger had hit the buzzer and the blond young man was already chattering as if he had started the conversation long before she had even gotten there.

"Trust me Kim, I've known about this frozen yogurt place for years. It tastes so good you won't even care that it's totally healthy."

Kim was dubious and that didn't escape Ron's notice.

"Well okay, it's kind of healthy" He conceded. "It's healthier than a cheeseburger that's for sure."

Kim shook her head. "Before all of that are you sure you're okay? How is everything-down there?"

It had been three days since she had walked Ron back home from their run-in with her brother's rouge experiment. At the time Ron could barely stand on his own two feet. Additionally he couldn't go more than few sentences without the pain causing him to take in a gulp of air. She hadn't expected him to return to his spritely self until they needed to head back to school.

Ron glanced down. "Down there, oh no, no, no, no, it's still pretty bad down there."

She winced. "Sore?"

"I've been sitting on my mother's frozen peas for two days straight."

"The peas remain in their carton I hope?"

"Of course they are still in their carton, I'm not an animal."

He paused before whispering "You know the worst part about it is I have to censor my thoughts at all times… The cover of one of my mom's romance novels was enough to drop me to one knee."

Kim scratched at her forehead. "Yeah, does "T.M.I" mean anything to you?"

"Hey, you asked!" Ron replied stepping out of the house. As he was closing the door behind him he abruptly turned to Kim his face that of a man who had come to a sudden realization.

"Oh, it was a guy and a girl on the cover," he then paused once again. "It wasn't one of the covers with like just a guy."

Kim broadcasted her amusement with a smirk and a tilt of her head.

"I didn't really ask for any clarification."

"See romance novels can have two kinds of covers and—"

"Yeah Ron, I am aware of the classic bodice ripper covers."

Pulling out his keys Ron turned to the door in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. "Okay, I'll just be quiet now."

"I do find it interesting however that it just takes a dash of cleavage to get you all spiced up."

Ron shut the door with a loud click and he turned back to Kim very, very slowly. "Hey it wasn't a dash of cleavage-; we're taking major bread dough spillover. It was an impressive amount."

"Ah, so it's not just your meals you like grande-sized?"

Ron snorted. "That's not fair, I happen to be very broad-minded."

"Apparently" Kim snapped back.

This brought a smirk to Ron's face. "Okay Kim that was decent joke. Major props for the quickness but let it be known the Ron-man doesn't discriminate against sizes for example you-"

He cut himself off abruptly as his breath escaped in some sort of hiccup.

"I what?" Kim inquired with narrowed eyes.

"You…." Repeated as his own eyes widened in panic

Kim leaned in closer to him. "I'm listening."

"Yooooou …" Ron continued.

"Meeeeee, what, Ron?"

Ron closed his eyes. In a monotone voice he said "You are the-kind of girl…whose…I…..eyes….would…make-such-a-minor aspect-of feminine beauty-completely-irrelevant."

Kim's eyes narrowed further. "Alright I'll give you credit for the recovery but still…."

She punched him lightly on the shoulder.

"Kim! I'm a wounded man!" he cried.

"Well despite your pain you do seem to be chipper" she observed.

There was a sudden flash of light in Ron's eyes.

With a rush of enthusiasm he said "Kim I have come to a decision and..."

Once again he stopped himself short.

He both hands up to his shoulders, "Nope I don't want to jinx it, no jinx, no jinx…no jinx. Here's what I can tell you KP I got a call from a friend. Jake…you remember Jake right?"

"Sorta," she replied.

"Well he called and we had a discussion about something potentially good that is in the works."

Kim eyed him curiously. "Careful Ron you're being too specific."

He nodded to her. "I acknowledge your sarcasm Kim but I can't tell you anymore."

"So it's about something 'good'?"

"Potentially good, no jinx."

"And you don't want to tell me about it?"

"Want to…can't" he said.

"Because you don't want to jinx it?"

"No jinx," he muttered with a shake of his head.

"Okay," Kim sighed. "Are you sure there's nothing more you could possibly tell me about what it is concerning?"

Ron ran his hands together. "Well potentially, my future."

"So it's a pretty big deal?"

"Yah!" Ron replied.

"And you're sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I've already said too much, Kim."

She shrugged. "Okay, well um, I don't know what else I can say."

Ron opened his hands wide and started down the porch steps. "Nothing else needs to be said KP. Let us simply bask in the great potential of this hypothetical goodness."

"Fair enough" she conceded following him off the porch. They had taken a few steps away from the house when she suddenly declared, "Well, I've got some news too."

"It is a good day for news. What's it about?" Ron asked.

"Um, you… actually."

He stopped walking. "Is it good news or bad news?"

"Well, it's news" she replied quickly.

His smile faded. "It can't be neutral news if it's about me. Personal news runs on a black and white system if it's not good, it's gotta be bad."

"Actually it all depends on how you react. If you react well, its good news. If you don't, its-Okay wait I'm going off track," Kim took a beat to carefully consider her words.

"I found Cynthia, online I mean."

Kim had thought it best to take the direct route. However she began to doubt the merits of that plan when Ron stiffened as if Medusa had appeared before them in the Stoppable's driveway. She imagined if she reached out and tipped him over he would have shattered against the ground like Humpty Dumpty.

"Alright," Ron said stoically, bringing Kim back from a world where she couldn't put Ron back together again.

"After my tearful story you were curious annnnnnd I get that. I would have been curious too annnnnnd I probably would have done the same. That's okay so let's drop it and go get that yogurt."

He made to turn away but Kim stopped him. "Hold on, I think you should consider maybe meeting up with her."

Ron tilted his head and ran his index finger through his ear. "Wait a sec. I got some crazy in my ear."

After a thorough digging off his ear canal he said, "Okay, I think I got. So let's go get that yogurt."

"I'm serious," Kim stated.

He stared at her in silence for some time before uttering, "Why?"

Everything that needed to be said had been summed up in that one word. Kim answered with a single word of her own.

"Closure."

Ron simply blinked back in response as if he were delivering Morse code with his eye lids.

So taking the initiative Kim went on to explain how closure was important after the hurtful end of an important relationship. How important it was to find peace within oneself and the relationship or else risk hindering one's growth both socially and as a person.

"Are you taking a psych class this semester?" Ron asked softly.

"No actually I took psych freshman year…but I'm not playing psychiatrist here. I'm just saying closure can help you move on."

"Move on to whom?" Ron asked wearily.

_You've got to hold on to romance, don't let it slide. There's a special kind of magic in the air. When you find another heart that needs to share_

A blast of music had interrupted Kim before she could answer. She and Ron turned to see the source of the music a small-ish mini-van creeping slowly up the street. The music came to a stop as the Mini-van pulled up to curb in front of Ron's house. A woman leaned out the passenger side window and asked "Hey do either of you know where Maple Street is?"

"Two blocks and then take a right," Ron and Kim answered sharply yet in complete unison.

A look of bemusement crossed the woman's face. "Uh-thanks, I guess"

She quickly pulled her head back into the minivan. The music abruptly started up again as the vehicle pulled away.

_Baby, come to me, let me put my arms around you this was meant to be and I'm oh so glad I found you. Need you every day, got to have your love around me. Baby, always stay 'cause I can't go back to living' without you_

When the minivan hit a sharp corner Kim cleared her throat before looking back at Ron. "You know, you're taking this a little better than I expected."

"Actually I-I-I'm pretty sure I'm freaking out right now" Ron said.

"Could have fooled me."

Ron considered this for a moment. "This unusually mature calmness is actually what happens when my emotions burn themselves out. No actually my emotions have caved in on themselves and imploded. Where my emotions once stood there exists a region of space-time from which gravity prevents anything, including light, from escaping."

Kim chuckled anxiously. "Ron, I didn't mean to upset you."

He looked away, staring off at nothing in particular "I do not want to do that, KP. I won't do that, KP. Don't ask me to do that, KP."

After a moment's hesitation Kim blurted out a succinct. "Okay"

Ron smiled but his expression was one of frustration.

"You're totally not okay, are you? I know you. But why should I care if you're okay with it, it's not about you, It's about me. It's about what I am or am not comfortable with!"

Kim flinched at the explosive emergence of Ron's once imploded emotions. "Okay you're right. It's not about me, it shouldn't be about me. But hey I can't help it if it hurts me to see you hurting."

Her words fell on a long moment of silence until the front windows to the Stoppable homestead suddenly popped open shattering the quiet. Two stuffed dolls each being held up by a tiny hand tentatively poked through the curtains and out the window.

"It's like this," a little voice declared from behind the dolls. The dolls, a bear and a lion, then had their faces unceremoniously smushed together.

"Not now Han! Ron shouted.

"You've got to use the lips!" Han declared from the shadows of the house.

"Han!"

The dolls retreated quickly back into the house and the window subsequently slammed shut.

Ron sighed. "My little sister thinks I don't know to kiss"

Kim grinned. "Well kids these days might be more mature than we were at that age."

She looked back at Ron only to be met with a frown.

"I want to dislike you right now…like so bad" Ron announced flatly to her.

Her grin vanquished Kim averted her gaze. "L-let's just take a rain check on the yogurt okay?"

She started to leave but Ron called after her. "

"Don't go anywhere. Just give me a minute"

Ron strolled to the middle of the Stoppable's front yard and Kim watched wordlessly as he lay down in the grass.

"Ron, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I am doing? I'm thinking." Ron said as he interlocked his hands beneath his head.

Kim glanced furtively around her shoulders before slowly inching closer to Ron. He said nothing as she approached his contemplative gaze fixed somewhere in the clouds. She stopped a step or two away from him and considered his form for a moment before shrugging to herself. She sat beside him initially; silently taking in the neighborhood, however after a few more glances around she simply surrendered to the moment.

"Are you mad at me?" Kim asked seconds after sprawling herself across the Stoppables front lawn.

They were now both on their backs, their arms lightly touching. Ron kept his gaze on the skies above as he said "Kind of, but that's not the real problem here."

"Huh?"

"KP, I have the instincts of a gazelle, I am ready to bolt at any hint of danger physically or emotionally. Right now there is a voice in the back of my head screaming danger, danger, danger Ron Stoppable, run away. This should be a 100 percent guaranteed Ron runs away moment, it's a nightmare scenario but I am here laying in the grass thinking about it Kim, I'm really thinking about it."

"Ron, I am sorry, I don't want you to think that I'm pushing you into corner…"

"The real problem is-" Ron interrupted while turning towards her. "-Is that I trust you and you, dammit you make me not want to run away."

"Oh," Kim said in hushed tone. She found herself at a loss for words.

"That's my problem," Ron turned back to the sky. "So you think this will help?"

"It might," she replied honestly.

"It's the word '_might' _that makes me nervous KP."

"I wish I could guarantee it but I can't."

"So there's a good chance this won't completely cure me of all my issues?"

"To be honest Ron it might take the cooperation of a higher power to fix all your issues," Kim answered teasingly.

Ron let out a subdued laugh.

"Kim, that fight we just had, was really melodramatic."

"You think so?"

"Oh yeah, it was the stuff bad teen novels are made of"

With no additional comment Kim reached over, took his hand, and held it in hers.

"Is it me or have we been holding hands like pre-schoolers a lot lately?" Ron asked.

"Hush and stop spoiling the moment."

They remained still for a while, composed, eyes on the clouds.

"You know what the cloud looks like? An aardvark."

Kim regarded him with an arched eyebrow. "Have you ever seen an aardvark?"

"I've been to a zoo Kim I know an aardvark when I see one."

"Are we looking at the same cloud?"

Ron pointed upwards. "Right there what does that cloud look like to you?"

"Not an aardvark."

Ron waved idly. "You're just being stubborn."

"I don't think I am. Ron, that looks nothing like an aardvark."

"Quick question KP," Ron said suddenly. "Do you think it's normal for us to be lying down in my parent's front yard like this?"

"It's definitely not normal. But maybe it's okay to not be normal sometimes."

Ron plucked a strand of grass from his hair. "Hmm now there's an interesting thought."

* * *

A/N

Hopefully in between the long updates the quality of these chapters has remained better than decent.

Once again thanks to Joe for helping me out.


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